Monthly Archives: March 2006

Fitness For Free

JC: Hello Albert? This is JC from California Fitness.
Albert: Yes, speaking?
JC: You know your friend Cheneille? She gave us your number.
Albert: Ah yes yes, I know her.
JC: Ah yes. Anyway, we would like to offer you a one week free trial at our gym. You can come, try out our equipment and facilities for free.
Albert: Oh yes I’d love that, but well… One Utama is a bit inconvenient for me.
JC: Oh no no sir! We are in Midvalley sir. Are you free to come over?
Albert: No, not this week; how about next week?
JC: Sure, I’ll call you on Monday.

He never did call. 🙁

And yes, I knew California Fitness was in Midvalley. 😀 But hey, don’t people unfit-financially-for-gym mix up anything that’s not Fitness First?

Still, I got my abs, and my muscular-looking legs. Why? Because I walk. Because I take the stairs. Because I help carry computers around. Because unlike certain people, I do not insist on parking closest to the gym.

Ah Broke Mah Back Mountin’

So I was watching this ‘ere Brokeback Mountain, just to see exactly fer mahself how boring it would be to a straight women-loving man such as mahself, as all my straight guy friends said that it was boring as heck. However, some lassies with queer friends might beg to differ. And queer folk, they be obviously loving it.

As the movie screen filled up with enough sheep to count to solve mah current amnesia, I wunnered who the aggressor/initiator would be. Y’know, who be shooting the gun. Would it be Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal fer those of y’all who ain’t into the habit of rememberin’ names), who was checkin’ Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) out in the first scene?

Well tumble mah weed, it all happened in the dark, so I didn’t remember who was doin’ who, but they went straight to their business.

Other than that, an’ some friendly camaderie, it was just a lot of grass. Ah took a peek at the clock. Forty-two minutes. Phew. there I was, thinking it would be just half an hour past. That ain’t half bad.

Ennis Del Mar: This is a one-shot thing we got goin’ on here.
Jack Twist: It’s nobody’s business but ours.
Ennis Del Mar: You know I ain’t queer.
Jack Twist: Me neither.

There is but just one doggone thing wrong with that, and I be telling ya what it is.

They ain’t championing bull manure. They are championing chicken manure. What ah mean is, both of them, y’see, they ain’t, y’know… born queer. They just did something there then, they got married and got kids and all, and they meet up ev’ry now and then and have a go at it.

And it’s a newfangled fad that they say nowadays in town, you be born queer. This here, it ain’t helping. It ain’t so bad if they were born queer, then we put our hats down fer them, we say they can’t help it. But with this, it just meant to show, they just ain’t got the balls to take the sheep they were guarding instead.

So, the moral of the story, kids, is, well, not there. Empty revolver.

Well, at least, if ya fancy Anne Hathaway (that’s the Princess Diaries star), ya get to see her hooters in this one. And that, now kids, is why it ain’t that boring after all.

Lookalike, I Like

So I was paying at the mamak, when the mamak dude says:

You look like John Michael.

His face was relatively near mine, but I couldn’t hear what he said.


You look like John Michael. You know, the wrestler.

The way he said it, it was as if he was going to challenge me for my trophy belt right there.

Does anybody know this wrestler, since I don’t watch wrestling?

My hair was tied back, so I guess I looked more aggressive.

Edit: He probably meant Shawn Michaels.

I have a common face, or a face to link them all. I’ve been likened to the Alien Workshop logo in secondary school, Neo (Keanu Reeves) when I wear sunglasses, David Spade of Just Shoot Me, Topher Grace (who plays Eric Forman in That ’70s Show), Gavin Yap (the local thespian), some dude in APIIT Damansara Heights, some Malay dude who worked in Nando’s Midvalley, a handsome lecturer in Lim Kok Wing, a guitar-playing maestro who also plays chess, among other people. And maybe a peacock, too.

Pardon the crude, crude Photoshopping. These are the four best impressions of the famous actors I can look like.

And hey, I secretly enjoy being told that I look like somebody, especially if that someone is famous and good-looking.

So, I myself find delight in spotting people who do look like someone else. I swear, when I say, “hey you look like my friend“, it is not a pickup line. It gives me great joy to spot lookalikes, great joy to tell them, and hopefully, the person will be overjoyed as I am, too, secretly. Well, if I freaked you out then I am sorry. 😛

Edit: Check out Jenifer’s celebrity lookalike.

Troubadours Open Doors And More

Hey guys and girls of good musical taste, here’s a gig!

What: Troubadours/Open Doors
Where: Indicine, KL Performing Arts Centre, Jalan Ipoh, near Sentul West
When: Sunday, 19th March 2006, 5pm
How much: RM15 per entry
Who: Khai the witty filmmaker/jack-of-all-trades, Rhapsody the jazzy duo, Jerome Kugan the soulful singer, Liew Seng Tat’s short film, Flowers and Tan Hui Koon’s short film, K.Otak.

A flyer and more details are here. Fazri‘s coming, and we’re gonna do more photographic geeking at the BEAUTIFUL Sentul Park, so if you’d like to learn/exercise the inner camwhore in you, come!

Jumping About Pictures

Jason, Cherrie, Rames and I went to KFC for lunch. We did not talk about what we wanted to eat, but we all ended up ordering the exact same thing! We all paid exactly RM8.61, for a two-piece chicken value meal with Pepsi. All Original Recipe flavored. A working-class meal.

Three of Rames’ colleagues then bumped into us at KFC, and they sat at the table beside us. They ordered a two-piece chicken meal too, except they all chose Hot & Spicy flavor! The same happened for another bunch of distant colleagues from the IT department; they had Hot & Spicy.

And now, for some random photographically-techie pictures.

Okay, so I didn’t have time to prime the shot, but I think it turned out pretty well.

Jason, Jenifur and I were out of pictures to take at Fathima’s (behind Bangsar LRT station) so I meddled with spoons. Somehow, the artistic intended individualism did not carry through, but I reckon I could use this idea again.

This was between Bangsar LRT and Fathima’s. Again, there could be better composition but I couldn’t figure it out. Yeah, go ahead, steal my idea and make it better.

Closing time, One Utama.

Fill-in flash is what happens when you choose shutter priority or manual exposure mode, and turn on the flash. It flashes, then exposes for a while, leaving the background to expose.

This is another example of fill-in flash; this time, I jumped with the camera. How did I get that distance? By hooking it on a tripod, and holding the tripod by its legs!

I tried doing those jump shots as popularized by Jason, but ended up like this. I also like this picture because it makes me look fat.

Troubadours Open Doors and KLPAC Attack

So I headed down to Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre, Sentul, on the 26th of February 2006, for Troubadours Open Doors. Fazri and I photographically geeked out in the park after that, but that’s another blog entry yet to come.

But first, I wanted to take a picture of the taps with flash, like Cheneille did, where flashing it would turn on all the taps at once, but alas! They changed the taps (note the platforms below the taps.) It was back to traditional methods. Oh yeah? I could still take a picture with all the taps on.

KLPAC is a major beauty, and the show was at Pentas 2. Note how a double bass rests.

Kevin of Broken Scar likes the view.

I loved the lights. Superbly bright spot lighting allowed for comfortable ISO200 shots at 1/20 second exposures.

The floor is his stage, and it is big.

And so we invite Alda, who finally has an excuse to bring out his double bass, to play for Broken Scar.

I am training myself to be ambidextrous; here, Kevin’s camera is used to record a video.

Next up is Ian Chow. No wait, that’s his percussionist.

Yup, this is the man. The man with a voice so powerful he doesn’t need a mike. He also organized the gig, so look for him if you want a spot.

Azmyl Yunor, you know, is a folk legend. He busked in Australia and lectured in Malaysia. He sings folk tales with a Dylanesque drawl. And you know, only Bob Dylan gets the -esque postfix.

Hey that’s Kevin’s guitar! Yeah, noticed the loose G string in the previous picture? It snapped.

Da Praise Project played next. Good comtemporary Christian music.

Cut to bored crowd. Nah, kidding. This shot was taken earlier.

Hey man, when are we gonna cut to the atmospheric ambient song?

Yeah bro, I want to solo.

I can’t wait for the funky technoish song.

Tony Leo, vocalist, obliges to all their requests. After the praise and worship songs, that is.

And in the true spirit of praise and worship songs, we go, “ONE MORE TIME!

Except, of course, I don’t play more songs. I put more pictures.

From left to right, then top to bottom: Loose cannon; retired cartoon characters; funky-painted stone benches; old meets new; a bush maze; I reached the center and touched the tree of life; those buggers didn’t fill the pond; old stones have peeling moss, gross.

From left to right, then top to bottom: Sad to see old dilapidated stone benches; a twin tower between twin towers; a cow koi fish swims; in the Sentul Park Koi Centre; a metal swan; a stone pond.

From left to right: The metal swan reflects infrared; the trees say, “ain’t nobody gonna hold me down“; a pathway to the Japanese restaurant there.

And now, we head back to Sentul Park for some good ol’ reflections.

Look ma, no floor!

I like how the trees bring a new sense of orientation.

More infrared, baby.

Synchronizing swings (man these are big!) and then choosing the smallest aperture (in my camera’s case, F8) will give a slower shutter speed needed for this.

That’s all folks. Go home and spread the word!

Ring, Oh?

So I told a heavily-plugged sadako-lookalike that I have never seen a Korean horror movie.

Her sweet, innocent, pretty smile with windswept hair (I swear my left hand wasn’t holding it up, or anything else for that matter) quickly changed to one of disbelief.

Ouch! Something got in my eye!” (Note the weird finger contortion and extending fingernails.)

I felt something get in my eye too, and when I stopped rubbing my eyes, I looked up and shrieked to this.

Needless to say, Underworld 2: Evolution was relatively unviolent and ungory in comparison to my encounter with a real sadako. Now I don’t even dare to hold her hand during the scary bits!

Edit: Hmmm. I should’ve told her that I have not watched a single Tomb Raider movie.

Metal flows in my veins, and I tried to be gothic.

P.S. You must watch the first Underworld or you might not understand who is who and what is going on (e.g. about evil mystery wolves) and who is whose father and creator etc. I know I didn’t.

Star Wars Was, Is. Has. Transformers!

So I bought the brand new Star Wars Transformers. (I got it a while back; just got Luke Skywalker to complete the first set.)

For its price, which was 75% of a Transformer Alternator, it was amazingly detailed. It took after the Star Wars series, with a penchant for detail and quality.

Featuring the cowardly robot.

The one who would teach them all.

The heavy-breath-taking father.

The eager son.

Note the paintjob on the helmet! Superb craftsmanship.

I might as well take time to squeeze in a little photography lesson; when taking macro shots, switch to Aperture Priority if you have such an option, and change the aperture to say F5.6 to get more of the picture in focus. F2.8 (on the left) means that less of the picture would be in focus. Below is a missile from Luke Skywalker’s X-Wing; note the ball-release mechanism. I loved it compared to the spring-loaded missile launchers because it was less likely to jump out during transformation.

Yes, that’s right kids; the mini-me figurine can fit in their vehicles! Major props for the innovative design. Also, all except General Grevious’ Wheel Bike have smart ways of storing their lightsabers when in vehicle mode (and no, it doesn’t turn off and retract.)

And I wonder too; if Obi’s mini-me is in scale to his Jedi Starfighter, and his droid is in scale to it too, and Luke is in scale with R2D2 and X-Wing, why is Obi’s droid so big?

Anyway, action figures were meant to be posed, as much as their articulation would allow, and boy are these Transformers articulate. Sure, they have the chunky old-school look, but I love it. In a way, it was like the transforming ship in Spaceballs.

Yeah, yeah, technically this scene could never happen.

Luke, I am your father.

What a way to do a DNA test. At least the videos were good, none of that Wookie-on-Gungan trash.

Trouble Gangs Us

Troubagangers, La Bodega KL, 5th February 2006; the pictures follow.

Justin Wong, on Suzuki-branded acoustic guitar, gets flashed by fans.

Broken Scar sings songs in the key of major.

Lisa‘s guitar sounded jangly and piercing, perhaps due to bad sound EQ?

Errol de Cruz does some good ‘ol country.

Zack Tay features band slut Alda.

Su Ann reads poetry.

Ian Chow‘s voice doesn’t need a mike.

The Sofa Sessions feature Fikri the crooning waiter.

Finally, Rafil projects his masterpiece manifesto with Panda Head Curry. They had what they called an interactive performance; when they sang the Gator Farm song, they passed out KFC Chicken Popcorn, so we could experience the chorus:

And it tastes like chicken, smells just like chicken, finger lickin’ chicken, fine!

With Ben of Ben’s B***hes as backing vocals and guitar, they then went on to hilarious songs about Kim Jong-il and homophobia. I wish I kept the lyrics sheet.

And yes, Rafil does look like a Panda Head. Yes, I know, my Photoshop skills aren’t as good as yours.

For an alternate take, check out The Troubagangers Report and Edrei‘s account.

Five Characters In Weird

Rules of the game:
1. Post 5-weird/random stuff about yourself.
2. At the end, list the names of 5 people whom you want next to do this, and leave a comment “YOU ARE TAGGED!” in their blog and tell them to read your blog for rules. Everyone has done it. If you’re inspired, you can do it again!

I don’t even remember who tagged me! I do remember wanting to do this though.

1) I don’t like carrying things with my hands

When walking about in a shopping mall, I’d rather hang the plastic bag (if it’s a small item like say Lays Stax Salt & Vinegar that doesn’t fit in a pocket) from my camera belt pouch.

2) My accent changes

I am truly Malaysian. I am so lacking of a distinct Chinese identity. I sound Malay and Indian sometimes. I talk loudly like an Ah Beng. I dress like a Malay and I have long rocker hair. I sound Indian and call people “deyyy“.

3) I practice all my lines to a telephone while you were sleeping

Well, not exactly to a phone, but sometimes, a future conversation plays in my head. It’s like I’m getting ready my lines for you. If I do talk to myself (alone that is) it’s not a case of imaginary friends. It’s a case of me imagining that my friends are there!

4) I avoid touching handles when pushing doors

I’d also love to be able to pull doors without touching the handle, but I’m no Spiderman. Everyone knows, from antibacterial spray advertisements, that the most germs live on doorknobs and handles. So, I usually push it with the side of my elbow. (Do you ever touch your elbow? Compare that to using your hands, where hand-foot-mouth diseases can then reach your mouth.) I’m sure I annoy glass window/door cleaners.

5) I can’t make most bodily sounds

I can’t voluntarily burp. Heck, I don’t even burp often. I can’t snap my fingers. I can’t whistle.

However, I can crack my knuckles, and at times I wish I had a muffler, if you know what I mean.

Instead of tagging, I’ll put some funny links: Funny T-shirts, and the Perry Bible Fellowship, funnier and wackier than Bizarro, with amazing artwork that changes style often. (Archives are linked from his bio page.)