My friend’s got a handgun – he hates to mingle
He proves it everyday
He says “Man I’m really gonna kill people”
He says they’re gonna pay
They call him an ass, he prefers to be alone
He knows the rumours, the bad things they say
The name’s derogatory, said in a bad tone
Well my friend hopes they’ll decay

Chorus:
I won’t shoot, I won’t shoot ya – not yet
Now, now why don’t you drop the gun
Said don’t shoot, said don’t shoot, yeah, forget it
Now now, why don’t you let them run

I guess all his buddies
Well they aren’t enough
To keep those jocks from teasing his way
I guess all his homies
They got it a bit rough
Cause those girls got boys from E-Bay

Chorus

Well I guess it ain’t easy
Shooting dudes in the hall, oh yeah
But hey man free shots just don’t come along
In a brawl

Chorus

(Let me tell you about my hip, cool friend now)
My friend’s got a locker
Arranged in order
Hardworking, the teacher’s pet
He’s got more friends than you
Obviously now, that
Well my friend, you’d hate him too

Chorus (x2)