{"id":264,"date":"2004-07-04T01:29:00","date_gmt":"2004-07-04T01:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/?p=264"},"modified":"2004-07-04T01:29:00","modified_gmt":"2004-07-04T01:29:00","slug":"fruitless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/?p=264","title":{"rendered":"Fruitless"},"content":{"rendered":"

I had Caffe Citron<\/b> at Starbucks today. It tasted like a frappucino with orange seeds crushed and blended in.<\/p>\n

Yuck.<\/p>\n

“You’re gonna get a tree growing in your stomach!”
\n“Well if it gives me good posture, why not?”
\n“Then you’d have roots in your butt!”
\n“I’d imagine it coming out my feet, but yeah I can say I got my roots man.”<\/p>\n

More stories will follow I promise when I do not get my descriptive-event-blogging-and-testimonial-writing mood dashed by parental intervention.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had Caffe Citron at Starbucks today. It tasted like a frappucino with orange seeds crushed and blended in. Yuck. “You’re gonna get a tree growing in your stomach!” “Well if it gives me good posture, why not?” “Then you’d have roots in your butt!” “I’d imagine it coming out my feet, but yeah I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=264"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=264"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=264"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=264"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}