1. Your full name:
\nTake my ICQ nick and shuffle the letters around. NOW you guys know.<\/p>\n
2. What friends call you:
\nAlbert, Bert; Alby, Albie (both, if from guys, sound incredibly gay) Dude DEY Dear Darling OY Macha Boss<\/p>\n
3. What your boyfriend\/girlfriend calls you:
\nAlby baby. Sometimes J.J.M. just gropes me straight.<\/p>\n
4. What’s a name you once wished you’d rather have?
\nI can’t remember. \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n
5. What is the ugliest name you can think of?
\nYngwie<\/p>\n
7. If there was a song about you, what would it be called?
\nThe Wizard<\/p>\n
8. What would you name your kids?
\nDefinitely not Q-Tip. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n
9. What would you name a ship you built?
\nNot Q-Tip either!<\/p>\n
10. If you wrote a book, what would it be called?
\nThe Bluffer’s Guide To Appearing All-knowing<\/p>\n
11. Thrown up in public?
\nNo<\/p>\n
12. Eaten or drank anything spoiled?
\nNo<\/p>\n
13. Had a rip in your pants you didn’t know about?
\nOne day a huge grunge-style knee hole appeared in my favorite cargo pants!<\/p>\n
14. Tripped while checking someone out?
\nI trip, but I never fall. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
15. Had to pay for something you broke?
\nI never did pay for her heart<\/p>\n
16. Nearly drowned?
\nIn the love of the Backstreet Boys<\/p>\n
17. Passed out?
\nNo, weirdly… I never remembered fainting<\/p>\n
18. Had a crush on somebody:
\nWho hasn’t?<\/p>\n
19. Been stuck in the rain?
\nNo, almost got stuck in cement though<\/p>\n
20. Been attacked by an animal?
\nHO YEH. Rawr. Thank goodness she didn’t bite. \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n
21. Caught people kissing?
\nYeah. Was a bit too heavy to drag both of them in the net so I let them go<\/p>\n
22. Fallen asleep while driving?
\nNo<\/p>\n
23. Felt attracted to someone of the same sex?
\nYeah, but MEN ARE JERKS. I’ll NEVER FALL FOR ALL YOU MEN WHO THINK BETWEEN THEIR LEGS!<\/p>\n
24. Actually slipped on a banana peel?
\nNo<\/p>\n
25. Made a wish that came true?
\nI prayed for a Gameboy, a SNES and a Nintendo 64. I now have emulators.<\/p>\n
[What would you do if…]
\n26. The girl\/guy that you like… doesn’t like you:
\nI’d sue my bomoh<\/p>\n
27. Somebody was about to steal your car?
\nI’d support him\/her in the act of stealing a car for me<\/p>\n
28. You wake up with a billion spiders crawling all over you and your bed?
\nI’d get my ass up and take a bath<\/p>\n
29. You farted while giving a persuasive speech in class?
\nI’d go on<\/p>\n
30. The person you like… farted in front of you:
\nI’d spank their butt<\/p>\n
31. You had three wishes?
\nYou know the slogan “Ask for more”<\/p>\n
32. The government allowed you to choose one thing to be made illegal and one thing to be legalized?
\nI’d illegalize baby-dropping and legalize owning mountain goats<\/p>\n
33. Britney Spears was at your front door asking for jumper cables?
\nI’d help her from behind the wheel and speed off in her sports car<\/p>\n
34. You had a time machine?
\nI HAVE a machine that tells the time; it’s on my left arm.<\/p>\n
[Would you rather…]
\n35. Find the cure for cancer or the cure for AIDS?
\nCancer, since you’d get it even sitting on a mountain from birth.<\/p>\n
36. Have the power to fly, or the power to teleport:
\nTeleport<\/p>\n
37. Have the power to see the future, or the power to record your past life?
\nThe future; we can record the past<\/p>\n
38. Be really skinny, or really fat?
\nSkinny; I’d sweat less<\/p>\n
39. Be lost in a forest, or stuck in a box?
\nForest; I need oxygen<\/p>\n
40. Be in a drama movie, or a comedy?
\nComedy; unless it’s a soap opera, then I get to screw around with my fraternal twin and her ex-boyfriend’s uncle’s student’s housemate<\/p>\n
41. Have your birthday on Christmas Day, or on February 29th?
\nChristmas Day; I won’t be working<\/p>\n
42. Live in South Pole or North Pole?
\nThe South Pole; you can go “WHAT’S UP!!!” and answer that with “THE WHOLE WORLD DUUUDE!!!”<\/p>\n
43. Be on a plane or a train?
\nPlane<\/p>\n
44. Snow board or hang glide:
\nHang glide<\/p>\n
45. Be a ninja or a pirate?
\nPirates have fun. Ironically, sailors have none.<\/p>\n
[Dream Guy\/Gal]
\n46. Musician\/Athletic:
\nMusician<\/p>\n
47. Muscular\/Slim:
\nMuscular. Sorry J.J.M. you don’t quite make it.<\/p>\n
48. Romantic\/Humorous:
\nHumorous<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
1. Your full name: Take my ICQ nick and shuffle the letters around. NOW you guys know. 2. What friends call you: Albert, Bert; Alby, Albie (both, if from guys, sound incredibly gay) Dude DEY Dear Darling OY Macha Boss 3. What your boyfriend\/girlfriend calls you: Alby baby. Sometimes J.J.M. just gropes me straight. 4. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-295","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/295","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=295"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/295\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}