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<\/p>\nAs a connoisseur of massage equipment, whose fine practice has been refined back while waiting for ever-so-punctual friends, I can thereby declare OSIM’s uPilot<\/b>… the best there is.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
This effectively dethrones their previous top model, the iDesire<\/b>. With hand massagers that looked like a comfortable bondage chair, and a distinct head-slapping program towards the end, a grown man could experience what it is to just lay back for 15 minutes and have an orgasm.<\/p>\n
OSIM is the only massage equipment company that has successfully made products that consistently make me feel good even when I get up. Some hurt me and feel good after I get up; some feel good but hurt after I get up.<\/p>\n
So what’s new with the uPilot? Ultimately, the joystick lets you control the rollers\/slappers. You can make it sink into the couch for less power, or make it push you up. You can shift it from your lower back to your neck.<\/p>\n
Yes, just like telling the masseuse to go up a bit and work on your shoulders.<\/p>\n
A good massage is usually of the harder variety. Anyone who has ever been for the real thing would know. Don’t tingle and giggle. The octopus\/jellyfish move, which creeps up the scalp, is tingly at first, then you brace the fact that having your brains sucked out like a coconut is bliss.<\/p>\n
Some ask how I do it so well. Simple – you massage a friend like you wish you’d like to be massaged at that moment. It works. Heck there have been times where I’d need a massage bad, but headed over to knead some random colleague and I’d feel much better.<\/p>\n
When I am old and retired, I will want to have children who are a benefit to society<\/b>. I wouldn’t want just a dumb corporate slave. I already won’t force them into boring stuff like accounts or law (though, if they go into law hardcore, I don’t want to pick up death threats for them.)<\/p>\n
At the very least, they should earn enough to buy me a massage chair.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As a connoisseur of massage equipment, whose fine practice has been refined back while waiting for ever-so-punctual friends, I can thereby declare OSIM’s uPilot… the best there is. This effectively dethrones their previous top model, the iDesire. With hand massagers that looked like a comfortable bondage chair, and a distinct head-slapping program towards the end, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-pictures"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=876"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9653,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876\/revisions\/9653"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glaringnotebook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}