I went for my medical checkup yesterday with my colleagues. Now, the word medical checkup as defined by American sitcoms consist of a few tests including one where the examiner puts on gloves and asks you to take off your pants.

* Names have been initialized for privacy

J was the first to be called in.

Me: Did they, y’know… (makes a putting-on-gloves gesture)
J: I’m… not… a… virgin… anymore… (while walking funny)
Me: Ow! Did they make you sit in any position?
J: She made me bend over. She also said, “Eee! So small! So cute! Make it blink!”

J was called in again, to take a blood test and answer questions.

He came out with both elbows folded, fists pointing upwards.

“He poked the left at first. Then he was like “Oops no blood!” and then he poked the right.”

My blood test wasn’t as unfortunate. I didn’t look as he swabbed it. The doctor said, “Hmmm, this will be a bit messy.” At least there was blood. 🙂

I also found out that I had high levels of sugar. Like, diabetic levels. I was taken aback by that, since I wasn’t a chocolate or coffee junkie! I’d rather have chips than sweets! All I have in the mornings is a Teh Tarik and Soya Bean in the evening. A possible culprit would be the sweets I consume around the office, but that can be forsaken.

This morning, I had my first ever Teh Tarik Kurang Manis (tea with condensed milk, but less sweet this time). For lunch, I endured the office cafeteria’s no-sugar-added orange juice. (One would usually pour in some sugar to mix.)

I’m scared. Really. I don’t wanna jab myself with insulin everyday! The reason why I’m not a druggie is because I can’t swallow pills, I can’t inject myself, I have a sensitive nose (pass *koff* that *koff*joint*koff*) and I am naturally stoned around the smell of cigarette smoke.