Monthly Archives: May 2002

The Chase

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At times I wonder if I should pursue
Or give up the chasing, go home and cry
Am I worth or is an overhaul due?
At my current state, should I even try?
I’ve lost my power, I run for cover
I need a fortitude of confidence
I’m outweighed, outswayed, beat by the better
Knocked out cold; sullen is my appearance
There could be a shortcut; a detour
But I’m not familiar with the roads here
I could not find a friend at this hour
They’re competitors now; that is my fear
I’m pressured to reach the finishing line
But I fear that this racetrack is not mine

Thinketh Me Writeth

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Hi I’m Albert and I have a big head
Physically; metaphorically
I’m human but I look alien instead
With their intellectual capacity
So what’s the big deal if I am a nerd?
Is it very wrong to be logical?
Why do we fear theories that are unheard
Or bother to be philosophical?
Why shouldn’t walnut-sized brains be better
Since CPUs get powerful shrinking?
Why should we let ancient rolls of paper
Constrain and prevent us from questioning?
Do we wait one more Renaissance to ask?
It’s sad – evolution’s no easy task

What Bill Gates would say in Quake deathmatch

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  • Well look who’s antichrist now!
  • I’ll give you a billion free greenbacks for the location of the BFG!
  • How dare you take advantage of Windows crashing?
  • See! I told you! Minesweeper is a lot more fun!
  • If only Id would support dual monitors for front and back view!
  • Like, I accidently pressed the Start button, okay?
  • I hope you have plenty of Illegal Operations!
  • Psst… a multiplayer cheat… press Ctrl-Esc…
  • That does it! I’m buying over Id Software!
  • Dang PS/2 COM port IRQ conflict!
  • First DOS. Then Windows. But now I keep crashing into walls!
  • This program is against the norm! 640K should be enough for everybody!
  • I don’t like the gloomy textures in this map. I prefer clouds… clouds with windows…
  • John Carmack’s the real villian here…
  • This bloatware runs (er, I mean crawls) on my PowerPC! (er, I mean Pentium III)

Top Ten Signs You’ve Made a Bad Plugin Player Model

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  • Strangely enough, your model gets listed among the top ten model downloads.
  • You play as it just to take advantage of other players puking.
  • You resort to playing with bots because real-life players keep taunting you.
  • When you do, it’s always the lowest skill bot.
  • You feel guilty for taking up space on more than 15 mirrors.
  • You shoot it on sight even if it was on your team.
  • You blast its corpse repeatedly.
  • You get so much negative remarks that you can make a top ten list.
  • On servers without kick ability, players often connect and disconnect quickly.
  • Your model is always mentioned in the same sentence as “inside joke”.

Top Ten Signs You Didn’t Hire A Real Programmer

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  • He starts counting from 1.
  • His expression does not evaluate to null.
  • He doesn’t show his file extensions.
  • His programs are bugless the first time around.
  • His idea of “programming” is arranging playlists in WinAmp.
  • He speaks in an understandable language.
  • He has fixed work hours, and actually comes and leaves at the correct time.
  • He believes WYSIWYG is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
  • He plays sports (unless he works for EA Interactive.)
  • He puts spaces in filenames.

Questionable Risk?

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To have a crush is a rush with harsh mush
To have a touch is such it’s more than much
To have a hushed squashed brush one turns pink flush
To the point, the arch where starch parches march
Give it more time, generate some enzyme
Where biological’s not logical
Stronger than lime, your primal call’s a crime
Socially liable to denial
For public? You’ll harbor catastrophic
Hit quit, the taunted bit you must commit
Logic doubts how tragic or horrific
Should you risk being known and your cover blown?
Set in stone being alone? Or on the phone?

Life Is Good.

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Everything was fine, all was in order
Until one bleak day came this disarray
Lecturers had played with the scheduler
Credit hours doubled, to our dismay
You guessed it, college schedules were clashing
Making me go every day of the week
No chance to go out, no chance for resting
Calamity and free time’s all I seek
The person who designed my timetable
Ought to reshuffle or taste the gravel