Category Archives: General

Levels Of Femes

Stage 1
People call you by your stage name or online handle

Stage 2
You start a Facebook Page

Stage 3
You change your Facebook name so people can’t find your personal profile

Stage 4
Your personal profile disappears from Facebook

Stage 5
Your Whatsapp profile appears to be someone else so we can’t be sure if you’ve changed your number

I am both happy and sad for Talitha Tan, for having achieved Stage 5 in what feels like a speedrun but was in fact a few years. Could this blog post be written with more stages? Sure, but I have no friends who have gone past Stage 5 so I have no idea what comes next. I guess I’ll have to follow her new Facebook page (which I have no idea if it is legit or not), or something, to find out.

Five Five

Today has been so full of hilarious randomness that I feel compelled to blog in the style that I used to, before I started flooding it with pictures.

Woke up late, rushed to the office, and had breakfast there. The cafeteria lady and her coffee machine makes a powerful latte. (I work in Menara Maxis now, and there is nothing more that I wish than for it to have a paternoster lift.) So I went to the comfortable toilet an hour later because y’know, coffee has a laxative effect. The gents has 3 cubicles and I took the middle one, since the first was occupied. I overheard a female voice talking on the phone. I then realized it was just an effeminate male voice. I then heard another voice, also from the same cubicle. Couldn’t make out what they were saying but they seemed to be joking with each other. I didn’t make any effort to be quiet as I entered the toilet, so they should’ve heard me.

Perhaps it wasn’t the noontime tryst I assumed, but a wardrobe malfunction that needed attention. Still, I’d think that if I was having a sexy time in a public-like place, that I’d pause and try to be as quiet as possible – no sexy time going on in here, no sirree…

This following disclaimer segment wouldn’t exist if I blogged about this 15 years ago when everyone was less politically correct:
1) I am indifferent to whether a toilet is hygienic enough or gross for an exchange of bodily fluids
2) I don’t have moral objections to homosexual activity
3) I’d think that those having a sexy time would be more grossed out by unsexy sounds and smells of a toilet, than somebody trying to unload and hearing somebody else blow their load
4) The office toilet is admittedly pretty clean by male toilet standards
5) I am indifferent to gendered toilets – if the argument for gendered toilets is to avoid possible perving from the opposite sex, what if a homosexual pervs on members of the same sex because he/she is allowed entry? Is a bisexual disallowed from both gendered toilets? Is an asexual allowed in both? Besides, we have ungendered toilets at home. If the argument for gendered toilets is space e.g. urinals, and I was a pre-operation transsexual female (meaning I was assigned male at birth), would I pick the gents if I needed to pee because I wouldn’t need to queue for a cubicle? (But then, gender expression is separate from sexual preference.)
6) I am often hesitant to commit these thoughts to text because people read this and think I will keep this opinion forever. (A common activist trap, which is why activists all get angry at each other, because either context collapse happens due to our affinity to call out instead of call in, and we consider an activist a hypocrite for changing their stance.) I’ll revise my thoughts sometimes when informed better.

As I told this story, I was asked if I heard any “piak piak” sound. That’s a term used in Malaysia, usually of penetration. I wonder what the non-penetrative version of this for female-only trysts is, and how it is spelled.

I wanted to ask this on Facebook, but my timeline is quite focused on particular topics, that it seems out of character. Perhaps I’m overthinking this, with my fingers to my chin, like a Philosoraptor.

I then remembered that there is an Albertosaurus! I thought that would be cool as a Facebook profile picture, where I’d call it my spirit animal, but the Albertosaurus walks on fours like the diplodocus, doesn’t it? I looked it up and found out that the Albertosaurus in fact walks on just its hind legs and is quite like the Tyrannosaurus Rex in appearance. So I could legitimately make such a meme, once I’ve drawn it, preferably in the art style of Pusheen, with a monocle.

So, back to the randomness of today. I got a phone call from an unknown number, and the guy spoke to me in Cantonese, and he said his boss spoke to me, from some network company. I asked what this was about, and he said it was about their company’s order of chairs. Apparently, I sell chairs now.

I for one would love a good work chair, for my home PC – one that has easy adjustments and decent headrest such that I could choose to lean back and sleep in it, for the times I want a short nap and avoid oversleeping if I take a nap in a proper bed.

BERSIH 4, Day 1, 29th August 2015

29th August 2015: BERSIH 4, Day 1, 29th August 2015. I’m at home recovering from a sore throat that turned into a flu, so I don’t think you can expect a Day 2 post from me. All pictures here are mirrored in a Facebook photo album, with the full-resolution version available to download, so you can try spotting yourself, or counting people!

During BERSIH 3 the bus heading to KL stopped at Titiwangsa LRT station and would not go into town. I figured the same would happen, so I went to Titiwangsa LRT. Instead of taking the LRT to Bandaraya LRT, which would be nearest in case Masjid Jamek was closed, I took the monorail instead to KL Sentral. This was because I was afraid of any crazy car accidents like what happened at BERSIH 3, and to avoid the red-shirt Anti-BERSIH protestors. Plus, coming from KL Sentral, there were a lot of overhead bridges and flyovers that would allow me a good crowd shot. The monorail stations were not crowded, with anywhere between 15-39 people getting on each stop. It was not even full when it reached KL Sentral!

I passed the old Pudu Jail site and its adjacent land, the former staff quarters. They’ve built a ramp there. I can imagine a whole bunch of people who should’ve been in prison.

On the road with balloons.

I reached the crowd once I passed Prescott Hotel. This was at 3:06PM. I was in fact late, as I’d seen pictures that show the rally was thicker earlier.

Parents brought their kids.

HINDRAF was there.

I brought my Sony Alpha 7S with Sony LA-EA4 adapter, Minolta 24-105mm F3.5-4.5(D) and Minolta 70-210mm F4.0 beercan, for this.

On a flyover.

Arul of Parti Sosialis Malaysia on the mike, and New Sin Yew of the BERSIH 2.0 Steering Committee on the far left.

I saw a lot of Indians, but then I walked from Brickfields. People also report seeing more Malays coming from SOGO and Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman. Did the point of origin and timing factor into whether you see a lot of Chinese or not?

Not sure who this guy is, though.

Haha, the 4.0 in the bottom-left corner, since anything with BERSIH 4 would be considered illegal.

Technical win!

Datuk Ambiga Sreenevasan, former co-chairperson of BERSIH 2.0, appears.

Some posters on the floor.

The first musician I saw. There would be so many more, later!

Texas Chicken in Geo Hotel was packed full of rallygoers. This time, more businesses were open, and rewarded handsomely.

Cool cheques.

A man digs into a packet of nasi lemak that was being given out for free…

…by this guy.

One lone Black Maria spotted in front of Pasar Seni, with police sitting inside. Nobody was arrested so far, thankfully.

This uncle has been making sugar cane from as long as I remember.

Some more interesting T-shirt designs.

From the pedestrian bridge in front of Kotaraya, I could not get the same shot, as my timing was off. Other pictures show the road being full. This time however they stuck to the sidewalks.

Yellow umbrella.

For those who walked too far.

The air-conditioned Starbucks at Jalan Tun Tan Siew Sin provided respite from the hot sun.

This restaurant was open, too.

More Indians with placards! Why do people say the rally was full of Chinese?

Hew Kuan Yau, known as the Superman of DAP, sits down but is flooded by people wanting to take pictures with him.

Ice-cream, so good.

Signs of the times.

All sorts of entrepreneurship.

A familiar skinhead!

I didn’t spot any rallygoers in wheelchairs although I saw pictures that showed them. This guy walked on anyway.

Despite all the vuvuzelas honking away, this dude slept soundly.

A bus in support.

She’s got her camping gear ready!

More placards.

Flower power!

Glad to see our Photoshop levels are getting good.

A volunteer helping to keep the city clean. Again, to be terribly Peninsular Malaysian – look, there are Malays!

Mama BERSIH came through the crowd.

Another group of activists.

Buskers in front of OCBC.

Damn stack of horns.

There is a Mandarin pun to this poster, but I do not speak Mandarin.

The best placard I saw. This is a screenshot from a video I recorded.

Bumped into Chak and his duck!

This led to seeing Davina who was in his group, and a Zef photobombing!

More buskers!

She looked familiar. I then realized it was Rachel Ng who followed me on Instagram!

Pikachu chooses BERSIH.

I wanted to avoid getting arrested and having my pictures deleted, so I did not dress in yellow. I did however wear an old white T-shirt on my head as a bandanna, to protect from the heat, and also to wrap around my nose in case of tear gas.


The Stop LYNAS group was here, too.

There you go, the five demands. The fourth is enhancing parliamentary democracy – so how can the government say the march is against parliamentary democracy?

More placards.

Where do they all get their different variations of T-shirts?

More ice, this food truck needs!

Parents brought their kids. Not advisable, but I’m glad nothing untoward happened during the rally when I was there, save for the poisoned packet drinks that were free and not having anyone attending to the stash.

Perhaps, for ease of getting to town, people would come in regular non-yellow and buy a yellow item at the rally.


I didn’t even know Tang Chun Cheuh was there until I spotted him later in the pictures!

Placards by the GRUPA group of artists.

I’ve never noticed this angle of the Old City Hall (now Panggung Bandaraya) before!

Haris Ibrahim giving a speech. You can also spot Tian Chua, Nik Nazmi (I think), Khalid Samad, and Chegubard (I think.)

I’ve seen this at H&M!

Tree for scale.

Again, it seems we got soul and artists.

This guy was playing a speech from his phone.

A photographer, authorized to be behind the barriers leading to Dataran Merdeka, using two Olympus Micro Four-Thirds mirrorless cameras. Robin Wong, is this your friend?

I love the T-shirt he’s wearing underneath – Straight Outta Klang!

Umbrella rally.

Here’s your token Malay-Chinese-Indian shot. I didn’t arrange them.

Another token Malay-Chinese-Indian shot.

Suzanne Lee!

Let’s not forget the Punjabs. This guy would not get up until Najib resigned!

There’s a good deal of variance in the placards, unlike the government-friendly protests that have very homogenous placards.

Artists gotta have hats, yo.

More buskers!

This was all nearer to Dataran Merdeka and Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman. So can we drop the whole BERSIH 4-full-of-Chinese thing already?

Somebody didn’t get the memo.


Cute placards!

Hishamuddin Rais.

Flower power!

Love her apron!

Spotted Lim Lip Eng, MP for Segambut.

She’s keeping it clean.

Yellow speed bumps.

Lim Guan Eng, Chief Minister of Penang spotted.

Gerakan Harapan Baru applied to call itself Parti Progresif Islam to the Registrar Of Societies but was rejected. Sad. I like the name and what it means.

RapidKL was fully operational everywhere. Well done!

From the LRT coming from Bandaraya to Masjid Jamek.

The view from Masjid Jamek STAR LRT. Spot who the crowd is focusing on!

Former Opposition Leader, Lim Kit Siang! This guy writes a tornado of words in every essay.

The Masjid Jamek interchange station. I went down to the PUTRA LRT and was surprised to see that after the trains left, the station was empty! That’s a rare sight even during weekdays.

More from the other side.

Through glass, this time. I took the LRT to KLCC and relaxed for a while, until I read the news of Tun Dr. Mahathir showing up!

And so, I went back there at 8:07PM.

G. Manivannan Gowindasamy, MP for Kapar.

Cool beard!

Many people posed with this placard.

Wow, a drum set!

Adam Adli spotted.

The old and young.

More old and young.

I have a few theories as to why it appears that at first, there were a lot of Chinese people compared to previous rallies. The point of origin, and the timing of the rally, are factors – I came from KL Sentral which had a lot of Chinese and a decent amount of Indians, but it was reported that there were more Malays coming from SOGO and Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman. I would often observe a higher population of Malays in SOGO usually, while KL Sentral and Nu Sentral are more urban middle-class and Chinese. It might just be their favorite place to start a long day. Timing-wise, it being 34 hours, there was no rush to get there, and you could come anytime you wanted. Perhaps some came earlier for the sunny selfies. Since there was no end point to meet at Dataran Merdeka, the crowd from SOGO went to Dataran and went on past to Brickfields, while I went from Brickfields to Dataran, then SOGO! There was a lot more constant movement in the crowd this time. Perhaps, also, the Malays would save their energy and come on Sunday evening, which would be Merdeka Eve, so they could continue partying on? As it is, among my middle-class Chinese friends, we mostly go to some privately-owned venue for Merdeka Eve celebrations. Would Sunday morning lack Chinese and Indians who are going to church?

More reading:
Konsert BERSIH 8T: Inside
Konsert BERSIH 8T: Outside
Democratic Promise
Bersih 3.0
Vote For Cleanliness!

Friendster Testimonials I Wrote

I used to save Friendster testimonials I wrote into a text file I’d save on my computer. I don’t think I started this very early, though, so there might be some testimonials that are missing. All testimonials are single paragraphs. See if you can spot a testimonial I wrote for you!

She is demented beyond her picture with short hair. The picture is a lie because her mouth is never shut! I can be stoning in her car in the sun, listening to her brag about her new audio system, and I’d be expected to say “uh-huh”. She insists on shaking the life into co-workers by rattling their chairs. She may be all grown up and quite a skinny looker (from afar) but deep down we all know she’s a Steve Urkel meets Johnny Number 5. You still see it when she tries to be Beyonce, or when she shows her identity card.

She’s cuter than she’s hot, she’s sweeter than she looks… not! Everytime I stare into her eyes she finds somebody to distract me, and I lose. She keeps count! Last I remember it was like 8 to 6, cock-staring, in MY favor. Yes, she’s a tennis freak, and her arms are freakishly long and unporportionate. Not like anybody notices, her voluminous cheeks are too distracting! You just wanna poke them again and again. Poking her stomach is fun too. You just wanna be mean to her. She’ll make that manja face, which doesn’t work, because it brings out the inner demons of gerbil-microwavers. Oh yeah, she has a very unladylike, wholehearted laugh, bursting out her cheeks and perfect teeth.

She looks like a giant hamster. You just wanna do sadistic things to it. Once you’ve seen her Cerekarama sad face, you’ll wanna bully her. She has crushes on forbidden authority figures! She is quite pious, but I’ve never seen her in headscarf. She is always sickly and suffers from long term memory displacement. She got my birthday wrong in my testimonial! She can deal a mean blow, but I’m not scared of her… I know where she lives!

Millions have lost weight through the wonderful exercise of laughing with him! Why wait? Call him now, if you can afford it! He’s either making somebody laugh, or diagnosing their computer problems, or both. An Inspector Gadget indeed. He’s also so well-versed with KL, that he puts people born in KL to shame!

She is ultimately cool. Not like in-your-face-cool but laidback cool. Calm. Wise beyond anybody’s ears. She knows her stuff. Too humble to sit on top of a mountain. She keeps it real. She’s got soul. Feel the love! She makes me write like this and I don’t know why either. Suddenly, a hyperactive monster emerges, and you wish you had read the sign. “Do Not Feed Sheena Chocolate.”

This lanky dude is THE man with THE stick. The stick that is always hard. The stick that is always long, that when he walks, it touches the ground. The stick that he holds all day. The stick that makes him look intelligent, suave and sexy than he ALREADY is. He means no harm; he has never hurt anybody with his stick. Not even a cat.

Of all things healthy, Mr. Soya is afraid of potatoes, especially when they bleed of tomato sauce. He is a master of sticks and balls. He wokes smeed. He is witty, sarcastic and more intellectual than the average Greek dude on a toilet.

This dude is cool, man. Tall, fair and handsome. He demonstrated, on me, how to lap dance! *melts* Isn’t he hot?

Like Gollum, she doesn’t like human food. Not even the lowest-common-denominator, fast food! She likes chicken feet and liver. Like Gollum, she is skinny. She counts things in plural. Her handphones. Her houses. Except, of course, that she does own aforementioned things in plural form!

Once upon a time, it was just her and me, newbies to pool, and one domineering teacher. We wanted to stab our teacher with our cue sticks when she wasn’t looking. It was both our first times, and I *ahem* was better at making contact with the white ball. Times have changed. She is now this legendary baller, and I enter balls only because I am the kai-ness.

She is so pink! One with such Michelle-Branch-ish complexion, such vast pink cheeks. Such understated rosiness. Such giggly enthusiasm. Such addictive irritateability.

She’s got the cutest button nose ever, the bestest manja stoned face, the bestest unskinny body, the most infectious laugh… but I do not love her. In fact I hate her guts, for she is the one to have taken my dear Syefri from me.

She is so smart, she makes me look stupid. You see? That sentence just now sounded stupid too. She is the sweetest-sounding negotiator ever. You see? I’m writing her another testimonial even though she hasn’t written me one. You see? How shameless.

Rarely will you ever meet such a young, sharp-tounged cynic. She’s sarcastic, but I guess you already know that, so why repeat what others have said? The dirt says she is sneaky and always up to mischief, but alas – people like her like to bust themselves. There was once she got me to find this dude at a certain house address near my place. There was once I held her phone as this guy came around, having never met her before. There was also this time she caught me in a moment of self-expression. She is also scarily wise and wordy beyond her age.

She’s cute, she’s round… headed, and she’s got the nicest voice ever. Like peppy and happy like Britney Spears her idol… oh wait, Spears was whiny. She’s got a strong opinion and the pizzazz. THE accent. The confidence that will knock you off and you will be all warm and fuzzy inside when she says hi. The warm and fuzzy hug-able-ness. She’s got a new haircut which doesn’t look as fluffy and mess-up-able, but it makes her look elegant.

She is sleepier than I am! How amazing is that? I imagine her snoozing away as kids jump on her balloon-like tummy. She is literally your worst enemy at foosball! However, don’t feel threatened by her kai-ness at pool or snooker or whatever it is. Yeah she has a nice house, nice phone, a funky sense of fashion… and there’s just something about her eyes that screams Martian.

This dude is super cool. He exudes the calmness of a taichi master. Sifu. Sensei. He looks so wise and aged! He sounds wise, too. Some say he is actually wise, but that would spoil all the fun we had on “Bang Fei Weekend”. The weekend ritual where we make fun of Fei to no end. Of course he’s sporting as heck. Oh, and he turns a rosy red. How beautiful!

I remember her! The one with long hair, done into braids. Major coolness. I can’t remember if we (and Wong Wei Li) were best friends in primary school, but we sat in front, in the middle of the class, with me in between both of them. They’d never let me pass and so I had to crawl under the table to get out. 🙁 In secondary school however, we disappeared to opposite ends of the school. 🙁

This buttslapping loveable sugarmommy is the cheekiest you will find in the land of Malaysia. She’s Malay but looks like some Indonesian/Filipino. She has the bengang face to complement my stoned sepuluh-sen face. I must thank her for introducing me to Incubus proper, and she must thank me for the many mix MP3 CDs I burnt for her. She calls people and recites textbooks. She calls people and strikes short conversations… with the people right next to her, while the other fella is still on the phone. She is loud and yet not irritating or obnoxious. She sounds like a mature old tree but you can peel off her emotional flakes. She deserves your love just like every other boring sweet nice gentle kind cute photogenic person.

She listens to Iron Maiden but she’s not evil; she’s a civil engineering genius. We built many towers together, out of only A4 paper! She’s the cuter one of the two sisters that everyone sees together.

This is the only place anyone shall ever know of this – I dreamt of her. Yes I did. She was a taxi driver. Why her and not any other colleague, I have no idea. I haven’t even been in her car! Perhaps it’s her unique voice that implants her in my head.

Mamat ini cool. It’s damnded funny that I always bump into him everywhere, event or not. We don’t even have each other’s numbers or instant messenger contacts or anything! (Well maybe a Friendster link and a blog link but we don’t like arrange to meet or anything!) It’s even more ironic that I’ve never ever gone to a gig with him performing in it. (Well I wanted to once, but it was at a gay bar, you know…) Am I so lucky as to have seen him a few times without a guitar on his back? Anyway, this dude is the bees’ knees. He is rightfully the cheeseist, corniest joker there is! Beware the signboards, he has the wackiest imagination ever. Oh, and he’s the best person to look for if your gang has been scattered in a crowd.

What defines Fin better than “the definder of kittens”? You shall find her feeding those lazy kittens the unfinished food from our table. Contrary to her testimonial on me, I shall not step on her; she is far too cute.

Shannon is pretty… evil. Shannon makes evil faces when she smiles. Shannon wants to roll people off the LRT and laugh as they fall hopelessly down into the road. Shannon is an academic geek. Shannon loves amilase enzymes. Her hand is full of them. If you don’t know what amilase enzymes are, just shake her hand. Shannon is full of holes. If you made a voodoo doll for Shannon, you’d have to poke a metal brush through it before she hurts. Shannon is a show-off. Jason Lo bought Shannon a drink. Riiight.

I don’t understand why she keeps calling herself a TEDDY bear when in fact she looks like a KOALA bear. Well at least she’s evil. She drives fast and furiously. So what if she gets in an accident? She’d just climb up and masquerade, even on a kampung road on a banana tree. She wouldn’t peel banana skins to make passerbys fall; that wouldn’t be worthy of her sadistic self.

He likes girls, and welcomes the company of men (not boys). He comes up with the cheekiest cheesiest corniest lines. He is more successful than the mild-mannered, somewhat-pasty-faced, bespectacled lecturer and boss/journalist pimp daddy he is. Do not be fooled by his sometimes shy voice – he has two hotlines! “That means I’m twice as hot,” he’d say.

She’s seventy seven on seventeen and seventeen on seventeen o one. She laughs like Scooby Doo you’d do too if you had a clue that once upon times really she was nasty to cats originally. She shall moon and you shall swoon like a goon to her tune. She shall sing and you won’t blink till phones ring for the studio recording. She does reports plays sports guards the forts for her cohorts. She will organize prioritize and hypnotize with her doe eyes with shrewd hair snips, pouty lips and sloping hips your heart rips rolling out your ribcage you’d be in terminal stage. Alas she is not my kind of girl, mine would be in pink and be glutteral.

He is funny. He’s got a sexy voice and he looks rather cute for a metalhead. Rest assured, he doesn’t need piercings; he’s got heavy metal in his blood! I just wish he’d give Black Sabbath proper homage and listenage.

Why is this dude so familiar? He looks like Rudy the host… NO, not that. He appears on Xfresh TV… No, not that. By dusk, he is Ramona the Queen Of The Night! Can you imagine how lucky you would be to be picked up by Ramona, with her boomy cigarette-roughed voice? Damn, she can sing. She can damn well sound Scottish too on Kilt Night! Okay I better stop as he is a nice guy who sends me home. Beat him for top frag and get an orgasm.

Her Yellow Chinese name is Corinne Kong. Her Red Indian name is Warm Paw.

I don’t know how many hours of sleep she gets, but she sure as heck as energy to rattle on about politics and other stuff she holds opinions on (which is about anything) for an otherwise sleepy breakfast. It goes on for a while, although she goes 10 paragraphs a minute, but hey we (or at least I) I don’t mind, because of the facial expressions she throws in. SOOO CUUUTE!!! You (or at least I) have always wanted to reach out and just PINCH THOSE AUNTY/UNCLE-ATTRACTING CHEEKS in the middle of a conversation (or rather a speech that we attend at a lunch table), but that would be rude, and you’d know what she’d do. She’d make that irritated face and point at you. Which is well, more cute than irritated. If I had a shirt pocket, I’d put her in it.

Hello. If you are a future employer and are looking up her background, let me personally assure you have made the right choice. She’s hardworking: “Is it still lunch break? I don’t wanna get fired.” I’m like, “Chill lah it’s only been 15 minutes.” She’s inquisitive: “How do you fill this up?” “What did she say?” “HUH?” She’s healthy: “I’m still hungry lah.” At least you know she won’t fall asleep on the job from not eating. Oh and despite her proper-sized portions, she’s not fat. Hmmm. Start a movement, girl. “Proper-sized portions for proper-sized proportions.”

This sugarcoated duhvnat is an inspiration to the bleak world of today to be… happy! I have become a bouncing bubbly cartoon since she touched me. Oh wait, you’d say, for people who know that I am stoned… it just means I need a spliff of maypine. You know, the sweet beef. The purple(-haired) blaze. Maypine is 21. Maypine is legal in Malaysia, bless our country. Roll out your papers and she’ll light you up instead.

Them: “Eh where did Miriam go?” Me: “Oh she went to drink. Damn German Indians.” Them: “What? We thought she was Pakistani!” This German Indian may be a lean mean drinking machine, but wait till you see how she spills drinks that have YET to be spiked. 🙂 She has a unique German Indian accent, or Indian German accent, but whatever it is both accents compliment each other damn well. Yeah, I dig the way her tongue rolls the words out. Bloody cool. Plus I’d never heard anything like it before… until I heard this Nepalese reporter on Star World ironically reporting about someone going to Germany! Oh and sadly, this hardened rocker is not as free as she used to be, ever since she STOPPED working at a major publication.

I miss this donkey (and his donkey laugh.) CRAZY FART. When we are combined our age is halved. He is a CLASSIC. He was the former GM of Xfresh – he’d come in at whatever time. Where would he be? On the way. The limbo. He is cursed to bad luck with public transport, but there was this time he lost two Nokia 3310s and a digicam, and he found a camera phone! What luck. His old porcupine hair could burst into fire. A few dinosaurs died to make that oil slick back then; thank goodness he now sees the light and has fluffy hair. His mouth bursts on fire with Nando’s.His shoes DON’T burst on fire when he’s finding yet another rail to ‘soap’ on. His opponents die from his fire in whatever computer game he’s in. If you do not understand this testimonial, you are a boring person, and you need to meet Wong Kok Jen. He will put the EXTREME in you, and you will thank him for that.

I never got round to writing this fine lass(ie) a testimonial since she’d always be online, and I’d rack up chat logs. There is just too much to say that I have to refer to chat logs. Anyway. She rocks with her electric guitar and excellent (though questionable at times) rock picks. She rocks me too. Original somemore. Pity that she’s stuck in [missing?] She bears with my nonsense (and actually understands it!) She rocks. Literally. With a Peavey. If only she’d join me in my illegal collection of music.

Happy Birthday! May you be old enough to touch my tralala!

See also:
My Friendster Testimonials!
(Testimonials that friends wrote for me.)

My Friendster Testimonials!

The reason I keep my Hotmail email address around is so I can still login to any old site without problems. That’s how I could still login to Friendster when they said they were going to shut down the social network, but allowed you to download all your data. I present to you, my treasured Testimonials! They later got renamed to Comments. List is ordered with newest first.

chin yee Jun 24, 2008 08:24 PM
Hey u,
juz wana say the reason u thought of me that day was bcos im everywhere.Every single promoter out there resembles me so yea,im unforgettable.2 bad u have to c my face everywhere u go…haha…

Ashley Muk Apr 09, 2008 12:31 AM chatters gathering on the 3rd of May (Saturday), 5:30 p.m. @ Italiannies, The Curve. Interested? Rsvp with me.

atiQama yg mulia Mar 24, 2008 12:18 PM
hello there… hope u’ll b fine..

Lee Cheng Goh Dec 21, 2007 02:10 AM
hey! happy belated birthday! you’re right, friendster is great for reminding us all… 😛

Dylan Dayalan Dec 18, 2007 08:14 PM
Hey, just dropping by to wish you Happy Birthday! Have fun and take care aight 🙂

Ashroff Shariff Nov 30, 2007 09:22 PM
how zit goin albert?

NiNA Tateiwa Nov 29, 2007 06:02 AM
anda sedang dilamun cinta??
and i wonder whos the lucky girl!

Cassie Forsythe Sep 25, 2007 07:51 PM
oi muka burger! wah in a relationship ahhhh… interesting. ok so the fantastic news i have is that after 1 1/2 years in the US i finally met another makan buddy! OMG, cool guy… all about accessible and good food… HE EVEN PUT A BOOKLET together and added side comments; so that’s gonna be my mini chicago food bible! ahhhh finallyyyyy foooooddddd kaki

hazrina haidar Sep 23, 2007 12:23 PM
fine fine, i changed it already. plus, that was an old OLD profile background. n blue hair? u should try it again 🙂

Azira-Goddess ChickaWicka Sep 23, 2007 07:30 AM

ANSON EMOZAI Sep 23, 2007 06:45 AM
in a relationship with who?? ^_^

hazrina haidar Sep 18, 2007 02:57 PM
talk about vain pictures eh?

Amanda Leigh Sep 11, 2007 01:39 PM
Alberta!!! we’l get down and jam soon aite?? cheers!

allison leong Sep 05, 2007 10:10 AM
albertt alberrttt, tsk tsk. U know what i mean
Going to give you another 1 hour lecture!

yii ping Lou Aug 27, 2007 07:05 AM
haha wats up! im 19 by the way, december kid. saw that ur bday is on the 19th on ur blog? mine’s the 18th! hahaha. hey you goin for the gig at laundry this wednesday nite? throne away, some band from sgpore n philipines performin.

Kelvin Soo Aug 13, 2007 04:16 PM
As i just saw your in a relationship 😀 Albert must meet up and introduce your hawt gf 😀 ahhahaha I coming back end of this year!!! surely must meet up 😀

Stephanie Fang Aug 06, 2007 08:49 PM
BANANA POPSICLE 🙂 I cut my hair. Its shorter than yours.

thisis KJ Aug 05, 2007 02:58 AM
in a relationship? hrmmm… =P

chin yee Jul 30, 2007 10:31 AM
i’ll take that as a compliment.C ya soon!

singyuin yeoh Jul 17, 2007 07:28 PM
thank u SO MUCH!!!!
hugs hugs hugs

singyuin yeoh Jul 09, 2007 10:33 PM
oh my GOWD!
i feel so darn disconnected with the world!
or would that be detached?
i think my brain is detached. all the files in my brain cannot connect at all.
cant think or talk properly
plus i havent met up with so many ppl in AGES
havent seen u in a zillion years
lost lost

singyuin yeoh Jul 07, 2007 12:57 PM

Ajlaa mamat Jul 06, 2007 09:45 PM
Albert! did u work out or sth? u look bigger+stronger last time.. must be the camera lifting 😛

Marianne C Jul 03, 2007 03:18 AM
heyya (:

elaine loh Jul 01, 2007 07:14 PM
word :o)

Cassie Forsythe Jun 01, 2007 10:49 PM
how is my einstein doing?

ArONiL Low May 31, 2007 09:15 PM

Shac Wizurai May 26, 2007 05:51 AM
this dude can’t live without a camera..
superb photographer…trust me guys
been there…
keep up da good work man

A I N Khalid May 01, 2007 08:22 PM
Ahahaaha… Is it just bcos u take too many pics or you must have a stoic way of expressing your drunkedness dude, that you forgot where I took that photograph of us tgthr..?! We were hangin out late at the Hitzfm bday bash laa.. =) And yeah, Alberto does sound waay cooler, like an Italian football player.. kinda matches your hairstyle so to speak… oh, btw.. it’s AlbertO with a bigg’O if you must insist! Whatever for laa? Hmmm… orgasmic?? I suppose! Hahahaha!!

waifon yoon Apr 25, 2007 11:25 AM
*scratches the unmarkable remarkable itchy bitch* 😀 Lapar la.

David Lai Apr 08, 2007 12:45 AM
Hey man,how have you been?

ching ng Mar 27, 2007 09:17 PM

Collin Nunis Mar 23, 2007 01:13 AM
dude, when you going to blog about us? :p

Mystery Wolf Killer Apr 02, 2007 02:33 AM
testi? -cles?

Oh, and I have to relive the moment…


Emily Yoon Mar 28, 2007 09:30 PM
I see you view-eth me…. 🙂

Just realised I never wrote you a testi… so here you go… testi!!!

wweeeeee…….. 🙂

MeI YiNg buffaloooi Feb 11, 2007 07:32 AM
A.L.B.E.R.T~albert? a…l…b..e..r..t???
Knew this superb nice guy during my training in Xfresh. First glance…’sombongnyer budak ni’.
At times, you may see him so ‘the blurr’, only then I realise that Albert actually have ‘such an angel looks’. Ahak, don’t be deceived of it. What you see ain’t what u get~He can crap a lot..I mean A LOT. One thing for sure, he is certainly very friendly and hey thanx to you for making me and Orange addicted to ‘nasi goreng cina’ and ‘nasi ayam’.
Even now…we are craving for it!
Hmm..what else? Ahak..he loves local musics especially the ‘rock giler punya’ Back to serious mode, what amazed me the most is that, he is always being himself~way the go

Wish ya all the best and hey there is NO need to write me a testimonial.
Rgds: Mei

Adrian Lim Dec 19, 2006 07:34 PM
hey dude!

happy birtday and merry christmas! happiness and good tidings to you!


Andy Choong Dec 19, 2006 10:17 AM

Get free graphics at!

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! =)

PS. Also.. Happy Bird Day!!

Sadomasochist Seng Ming Dec 19, 2006 03:02 AM
Hey rocker.. Happy burstday!!

Effa Desa Dec 19, 2006 12:22 AM
hey albert!
just dropping by to wish u a very happy birthday!!!

Vivien Mah Dec 18, 2006 07:54 PM
Happy Birthday!

& i wonder if u rmmbr me

best wishes and take care!

have a great one 🙂

Azira-Goddess ChickaWicka Dec 18, 2006 08:01 AM
Happy birthday to you… yeah, you were born with a shoe, God decreed what you’d do, so happy programming for you…and a happy birthday too!!~~

Cassie Forsythe Dec 11, 2006 12:17 AM
albert…burger face… i neeeeeddd ramli burgers!!!!!!!!!

Kyels Koi Nov 29, 2006 09:52 PM

Thanks for adding me up … Heck, now I am wondering where the hell did you get my address for this account … Haha!

Anyway, see you around soon, if there are any gigs!


Kelvin Soo Nov 26, 2006 02:25 PM
Long time no see la!!! How you been!! Wah say actually got blue hair dun follow me la!!

Nabz Nasir Nov 21, 2006 10:04 PM
albert is my reliable IT consultant and long time confidante.

we met 5 yrs ago and hv been good friends ever since. i dont get to see him very often but tht doesnt change my feelings for him – my favourite person on earth to hv coffee and talk abt you know wht.

you NOOB! its not like u live on mars ok? last i saw u was my bday. call me sometime 😉

Shelley Leong Nov 21, 2006 09:59 PM
Albert!! So gaya! So handsome! Blue hair! This is too much to bear!

Zufar Shahren Nov 19, 2006 09:09 AM
Wow. It has been a while, man. How are you? Do you still remember me?

Cassie Forsythe Nov 03, 2006 11:46 PM
hey einstein! how’s it going?

Haz Hashim Sep 29, 2006 10:21 PM
yeah u were right. but i still nak belanja u k… 🙂 havent seen u lamanya!

S’kali the movie Aug 31, 2006 02:03 PM

S’kali – in Cathay Lineceisure 14th Sept. 2006.PeNNyPupZ I Wong Jul 26, 2006 08:25 AM
Hello Babe

DayanG Aaa May 08, 2006 10:45 PM
oi..road warrior…lookin super fine in dat pic…hehehhee…btw…next time u ask me out..i won’t FFK u..4 real.. errr… *terms and conditions apply*
p/s:u 4got somethin..huhuhuhu :'(

IceKnIght the true one Apr 19, 2006 06:48 AM
Hallo dude… how you doing?… check in some time. take care

Yohanalism anis Feb 05, 2006 02:26 AM

Cheesie Ringo Jan 29, 2006 01:15 AM
Mister Camel Milk Cheese.

It’s my… no, it’s the weather’s fault that i missed Wallace and Gromit despite your (ir)esistable persuasion.

To officially apolocheese for my inexcusable absence, i here by drop you a testi…first, in case yours drop.

We shall go for cheese naan someday. In an airconed place that is. Oh and Caviar topping please.

Arlyne Kunyir Jan 17, 2006 01:07 AM
He may have more “friends” than me now but..
I certainly have more testimonials~!!!
If I’m a koala bear, then Albert is a loris.

Lex ster Jan 11, 2006 04:48 AM
This is like an obligatory testimonial, so that I can ask for a simple favour for Mr. Albert.

He looks like rockstar but police thinks otherwise (ahh… you should know). And you should really change your wardrobe colour to bright yellow and bright pink t-shirts. Then, you won’t be associated to BLACK metal. hehehehe…

that was pretty lame… -_-“

Arlyne Kunyir Dec 30, 2005 09:02 AM
He is MEAN despite the ‘I-am-sort-of-innocent-looking’ facade and the ‘I-am-trying-to-look-like-a-rockstar-with-my-goate e-and-sideburns’ look. =/
Why do you wonder?
Because he touched AND ruffled THE HEAD and HAIR!!!
And NO ONE gets away with that without a proper WHACK from THE HAND~!!!!!
You hear me Albert?!
Hmph. =/

Lex ster Dec 17, 2005 05:50 AM
Happy Birthday, Arthur… ooppss… ALBERT!

Haz Hashim Dec 16, 2005 04:19 AM
albie!!! happy early birthday!

Choon how Gan Dec 04, 2005 12:16 AM
Yo! Fellow TAG-er! Dances as eccentric as himself. Shares a good taste in music. Loves capturing experimental shots. Geekily good in computers and gadgets. Lately been trying to look like Jack White and pose like me. Very sociable and friendly AND single. All in all a good friend to hangout with. Take care bud

Cassie Forsythe Nov 20, 2005 03:01 AM
Oh borrowing sunglasses is a habit hey! wei lucky not fetish! see ya, you don’t need a gf coz you are already a trophy for yourself. I hate this guy coz he can absorb so much info into that MENSA-ed brain of his. Not to mention all those puzzles and analytical stuff he likes… grrr drives me insane coz I don’t wanna mengaku kalah to him, but ALBERTO here is better then stax, ramli burger or any icecream. Miss all the bus ride talks… well Mat Rock.. we’ve gotta catch another Ramli burger sometime soon. You are already a great person, may you not change for the worst for any female homosapien.. it most probably won’t be worth 2 cents!

PEtrina Thong Nov 05, 2005 04:24 AM
Uncle Albert! heh heh…
you are a very amusing, cute, one-of-a-kind(weird. hehe..) person…
i have the weirdest and nonsensical-est conversations with you.. hehe.. but that makes you a whole load of fun.
plus you make an excellent cam-whore partner.
and you send me lotsa songs. heheh..

but i am jealous that u get so much free stuff.. and you get to see all the band-ish events. and you get free movie tickets..
life is unfair.

anyway, it’s gooooooooooooooood that i got to know you..*hug* but too bad we’re not watching Emily Rose together.. haha…

DayanG Aaa Oct 21, 2005 10:10 AM
*blinkz* happened 2u?
*stares at comp scre3n*
hey.. nice cap! hehee…!! Is that why u wanted me 2 check out ur new pic?!?!

Lex ster Oct 21, 2005 04:16 AM
Eh..mamat mana ni?
now you look high without any effort : )

Vivien Mah Oct 20, 2005 07:56 PM
u grow ur hair long to make up for ur shortness huh?? =)

Azira-Goddess ChickaWicka Oct 20, 2005 09:29 AM
Dude… you look different.


Shannon Me Oct 20, 2005 01:25 AM
Oh my God, the butterflies in my stomach are close to celebrating their 100th generation and we still haven’t had Burger King together yet. AND, you’re hair! It’s longer than ever. Miss me?

DayanG Aaa Oct 04, 2005 07:19 AM
Yes yes…Saint is me.. the 1 who is always..i repeat ALWAYS sneaking her way out from seein u..*deep heavy sigh* I owe u this by publishing this testimonial for the public to read…I AM ASHAMED OF MY BEHAVIOUR!! Oh yes i am..!

ok la..oi albert the pervert who sat on top of big-bert..i’ll make it up 2u someday k? sigh..sorry la..4 alwayz bein busy when u call…i know itz been almost 2 yrs since our last get 2gether thingie..since since…urmz matrix:2! yup…haih haih haih..till then..tata..titi..

-dayanG the wise 1-

Raja Faraa Faraa d Jul 29, 2005 10:56 AM
albert is my angel. why?
1. always listens when you have something to say
2. he’s like a sun when the rain just won’t stop
3. an ear for a secret to tell *winks*
luv ya dude! nanti kita pergi rock concert bersama-sama ok?

-Lydia- Koh Jul 21, 2005 02:28 PM
Wei hobbit. I love you man. Was telling Paulvinder on MSN abt it. *kisses le furry feet* Yes, Evenstar getting down and dirty.
I’m soooo tired. *dies*
Rejuvenates n refreshes. Oi, what’s ur Gmail? Got funny stuff to fwd u.
Yawn.. *what the?!..its…its..5:28am*
*slips into coma*
*beep* *beep* *beep*

Jess Chia Jul 18, 2005 10:00 AM
I have a wicked picture of you at twilight. Haha. Rock on!

Reta Lee Jul 16, 2005 03:46 AM
With one hundred over testimonials, how do I make mine different about you from the rest?
From what I know about you, on that starry, starry night, you were twirling your hair and tweaking my digicam. Oh, what a night! Hehe.
Albert has an interesting persona that could be prod further. Getting into his head would be like trying to solve that Kubik thingy.
Take care and I’ll see you around, hopefully!

Vivien Mah Jun 18, 2005 10:58 PM
haha! dont worry.. some ppl r just born short… including you.. and me ;P haha but im still young so i can grow!! but you?? oh well. we’ll see ;P haha!!!! good luck. by next yr i hope to be taller than u.

Nikki Goh Jun 16, 2005 02:08 AM
ALBERT!! Great guy, interesting sense of humour (anyone who has him on their MSN list would know what I mean). Very, very witty and talented. When they mentioned a “Jack of all trades” they definitely had him in mind. Great friend to have around though we don’t chat as often as I would like. Something tells me it has something to do with me refusing to admit to my identity when we met for the first time. Am I right?

Raja Faraa Faraa d May 18, 2005 03:12 AM
sorry, i ter’delete’ my previous testimonial.

albert, my #1 male workmate yg paling cool and rocccccckkkk! he’s my male angel in our fishtank. without him i would be lost. i mean really. l.o.s.t.
alberto, thanks for being so cool, kind, helpful, genius and gezzziilllion thanks for helping me (and my pc *winks*) kat fishtank since day 1 til today….i truly appreciate your coolness tu ok? sorry la dude, no more ice cream for you. *winks*
p/s: errr…can u help me again…tmr? tolong setup my email access kat my new pc eh? hehehe! i let u use my meal card for this month ok? hehehehe! thanks albert…

DayanG Aaa Apr 28, 2005 04:27 AM
Albertis Morisette..Ey.. u stiLL playin harm0nica in Petaling St..? How much did u get ah..?? I remember putting about 6 centz in your t0rn ragged nike cap..and i saw a few m0re centz init as well..haih..i told u i should have sung my heart out when u play that instrument of yourz..100% guarantee sure get stacks of cash ey! paper m0ney..ya kn0w! Hehehe..oh yeah.. i WILL remember 2 read ur bL0g..0kie? hit me back aitez?! *dyG*

JuLia Shapiee Apr 22, 2005 11:29 AM
heylloww….hahaha..albert!! is that you?? Since when eh?? Cun sehh gambar2 ni… anyway, as a person who always see u in the office at 7pm everyday i want to advise u my dear..stop chasing the company’s bus!! Pls go down to the bus stop on time don’t be late so that u don’t have to chase the bus dude!!!hahahaa…

Arlyne Kunyir Apr 20, 2005 09:24 AM
Coincidently we still have the same number of Friendster friends. Don’t forget to inform me when you have agreed on a cut-off point limit. =)

NiNA Tateiwa Apr 04, 2005 09:44 AM
wei dude!bila nak go for lunch again? miss u so much la!

Foong Wai Ng Feb 14, 2005 07:18 AM
wth is that particular bulletin? hahaha *whacks*

thisis KJ Feb 14, 2005 04:53 AM
WAH.. albert so macho.. =O got beard lor.. like.. Goatman.. hehe

pwencess nana greystar Feb 14, 2005 01:16 AM
alby~ happy v-day *kisses*

Angelo Manuel Feb 13, 2005 11:02 PM
THIS is my cousin….i dont see him much but i really love hanging out with him. really enjoy swapping guitar tricks with him…..i was actually stunned at his completely different approach towards music compared to mine… was enlightening….well take care man i gotta get back to work .ciaoz

Shelley Leong Feb 04, 2005 12:15 PM
Yes!! I’m a big fan of Albert the man! ALBERT!!! He’s everywhere, he’s behind your door, he’s outside the window, he’s in your car – watch out for this illusive creature, he’s ‘one with the flow’… you’re bound to hop onto his flow.
He’s also an awesome photographer. When I make my first million, i’ll buy you a super camera and hire you as my personal photographer. Hmm.. if ever make that million.

Lex ster Jan 29, 2005 04:40 AM
banana, blood-sucker, too smart, geek, words are just not enough

Lee Cheng Goh Jan 28, 2005 11:58 PM
I think Albert was initially scared of me (I still think he’s scared of me) because I took a stalker-ish photo of him when he was at the AXN Anime Festival 2 years ago! Heh heh! After that, met him at a blog gathering, and he said I was action pulak (for a stalker). All in all, I think he is still suspicious of me being his stalker, so I have to remain very inconspicious and not too fan-girly around him. Sigh, I’m sure he has a lot of authentic stalkers though, what with his dashing good looks enhanced by Photoshop. the one who taught me more canggih enhancing techniques)). Everyone says that this guy is a super programmer, but since I never saw evidence of that, I’ll just continue praising his good looks and creative MSN screen names. 🙂 Oh, and it’s always cool to “talk” about bloggers with him. He’s addicted to blog gatherings la. He and Lionel!!

DayanG Aaa Jan 23, 2005 07:30 AM
Albert… u lapar isit? Hungwy for wot?? Ehehe. Eh.. juz wanna say sorry for alwayz conning u.. I promise I wont do it again okayz?! 1 year of conning is far too long. If I con u again.. ya noe wut 2 do… ermz.. yeah. Owh BTW, i still love Eric very much.. Nothin can part the both of us. I remember how u scolded my poor Eric.. *sigh* But as u know.. Eric’s very forgiving towards maniac’s like u. Haih.. ok. I shall end writing this now. Owh and by the way.. Eric says Hello..

atiQama yg mulia Dec 30, 2004 06:21 PM
bye albert saya nak bla dah so anyway nice 2 meet u such a good guy and very friendly.. thanx a lot. so anyone out there who wanna know further bout this guy just check it out k….

rUzY Mohamed Dec 20, 2004 08:43 PM
aLbY baBy~!!!!haPPy BirThdAy!!! ur the cutest pro-grammar i know darling! let me know wat u want for ur birthday!! i love u to bits! mwah!

Haz Hashim Dec 19, 2004 09:28 PM
happy bday to u… happy bday to u… happy bday to albieeeeeee….. happy bday to u… p/s : nanti i belanje u k… i pwomise 🙂

Vivien Mah Dec 19, 2004 03:09 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! best wishes, and take care?? =D=D haha….

Suet Li Dec 19, 2004 03:55 AM
happy birthday albert!!!! mwakz! i wanna sing u a song.
lalalalalalalalaooh~lala% fulala#$^wheeloopdepaledewhedooo*

Suet Li Dec 13, 2004 08:04 AM
i am one. marry me.

Lex ster Dec 12, 2004 08:49 PM
It’s funny you know, to remind me how special you are. Why of all ppl in my list…only you are the one and only person who’s birthday is coming soon? Isn’t it a great way to remind me to buy you something?

thisis KJ Dec 12, 2004 06:59 AM
WATSAPPPPPPPP Albert.. i soooo miss u dude.. hehe =p so.. ur bday comin soon.. belanja-ing everybody in ur contact list? anybody agrees.. hehe =P happy early bday to u first! =)

Nathan Gen Nov 28, 2004 08:47 AM
Ok i’m using Albert’s testimonial space for advertisement, seeing that he’s got a load of friends.
We pay cash
Are you interested in making an extra buck or two? We are a US-based company looking for free lancers world wide with some of these skills: Macromedia FLASH ASP + HTML Quark XPress Php MySQL Photoshop + Illustrator
Send brief note if interested to
ps: owe u one, albert

Pei Wen Seow Nov 19, 2004 09:23 AM
If there’s a person to blame because I have gain weight, it must be you! Always recommending this and that especially when I’m starving. You seem to know when I’m hungry. LOL. And you always message me regarding food at the wrong time, or is it the right time??
He’ll call at an unexpected time and put on the funniest accent which you won’t expect to hear. Always sounding so energetic regardless day or night. Forever so cheerful.
I think he knows every nook and corner in the Klang Valley. Always hearing him wondering here and there. Should seek his advice when searching for a particular hidden lane around town.
Ooo.. and he doesn’t look as innocent as the way he carry himself. I got fooled by his innocent look. Go figure.

Ning Jia Ong Nov 13, 2004 08:22 PM
yoz!!!! long time no see, talk, hear, and what ever lar.. dunno if u even still remember me.. LOL anywayz.. my bro owes u some money and i was wondering how to pass it to u.. i’ve not seen shaz for a long time too.. how haf u been man? hehe.. anywayz.. albert is a really nice guy and has a GREAT talent for computers.. i’m sure he’ll do grand in the future.. haha.. and hope tat i’ll c him with a chick as well.. LOL >. anywayz.. take carez dude.. hope to c ya soon! stay cool! ciaoz..

thisis KJ Nov 08, 2004 12:05 AM
arghhh! why u still hav ur testimonials? grr.. sob..

anne Yew Fon Nov 01, 2004 01:14 AM
_./’\._.**..**.. *. .* * frEns.f0reveR * /.*.\ ..**.,.**.*
(`v) `*..* ..*) .*) (. (. . .`. * taKe.caRe *

Jasmine -BN- FeEhiLy Oct 25, 2004 06:18 AM
hey mister blue guy. ur picture almost scared me to death. lol. i was scanning through my friends page and i saw ur picture, and it was like 2 something in the morning :p

thisis KJ Oct 24, 2004 09:38 PM
nothing to do.. so sien.. so simply type u a testi.. hehehe.. Mr.. Albert of NGC of astro’s canteen.. u r hungry now rite? come go belanja me NGC.. hehehe =P

Jee Wan aka Cyn Oct 17, 2004 08:32 AM
albert albert….when I first met him, he seems so quiet…but somehow we clicked coz we found a similar topic to talk about…heh ;P and later, i came to find out behind that shy-quiet-looking exterior of his, he is one sweet fren! There seem to be this gentleness in him i can’t seem to comprehend…dun get me wrong, not the gay sort of gentleness lah! ;P Well, besides the fact tht he is a genious, albert can drink too! I dun mean just soft drink, but alcohol haha Oh and his passion for guitars and music is undescribable. And did i mention he is a genious?? hehe and dun worry,…if they ever have one of those gatherings again,…i’ll b thr! promise! 😉 catch up w u soon bert- y…hehe

Mystery Wolf Killer Oct 11, 2004 11:20 PM
*lol* “Albert-Hungry”… initially in my friends list your nick was “Albert-Hung”, hehehhe

Ekajunosho Kymmy Oct 10, 2004 11:32 PM
hrm.. for all i remember.. 2 or 3 years ago i was close with this guy. but damn long time no see him. but for all i know la.. albert is cute and sweet and i believe he was shy? or still is shy? LOL! anyway albert! stay cute and peace out!!

Caryna Koh Oct 06, 2004 10:26 AM
From some 6-handed Buddha… now you wanna be Albert Christ? hahhaha. Miss you Albyyyy.

allison leong Oct 03, 2004 11:54 PM
I know this testimonial should be written long time back, but I believe in analyzing you in a long term basis! Hehehee..and yeah..You proved to me that you are a talented, down to earth, witty and playful guy- a real character! This dude used to bully, intimidate and mocked me back in the office most of the time. I guess it’s EQUAL now since that he had been helping me out lately. Unfortunately, he losses most of the time when it comes to the game whereby he is required to stare at me. Maybe it’s just me-lah albertt!*flip my hair*. He has the most “powderful jokes which most of the time I do not understand. Not just me, but..many of us..oppps. Anyways, Albert keep up your good work and remain the humble you all the time. After all, You are not all that mean-lah. Honestly, thank you for everything. xxx, the favour girl :p- to be con’t-

Haz Hashim Oct 03, 2004 12:11 AM
a real gentleman… imagine him in baju melayu, preferably ocean blue… and oh god… all girls will go ga-ga…

Be bliss Sep 18, 2004 12:08 PM
omg pillow!! since when u became the multipal hand albert?sigh…poor pillow…but no worries kay..u know i’ll still love u…blek! =P

thisis KJ Sep 18, 2004 04:08 AM
hahaha izzit the picture we took last time when i’m in fishtank one ar?

melinda -BN- rawks Sep 17, 2004 09:50 PM
COOL PICTURE! tee-hee hahahaha

Shannon Me Sep 17, 2004 08:40 PM
just feel like testimonializing you… so there!!! =>

thisis KJ Sep 13, 2004 09:51 PM
GiG Freakz! always attend anyyyy kinda gigs.. this fella is a rocker! peace! tq for the testi.. hahaha! great times! adioz man!

Haz Hashim Sep 11, 2004 10:29 PM

thisis KJ Sep 06, 2004 09:02 PM
albert always order NGC from Astro canteen.. hehehe hey! i miss the NGC lar.. hehehe

thisis KJ Sep 04, 2004 05:20 AM
this guy always finds me for weed.. but i don’t provide em..hehehe well.. it’s just one of his crazy farnee quotes to get ur attention hehe he rocks for life..underground rockers is his life! Crazy whacko PROGRAMMER! kidnap him and Xfresh is doom.. hehe wat can i say he is my buddy and he is a good fren! weed brader.. take care.. dun smoke too much.. hehehe

Frequency Cannon Aug 12, 2004 12:57 PM
many thanks for supporting frequency cannon! rock on! jeng jeng jeng kerangggg!

Shannon Me Jul 31, 2004 11:21 AM
stupid smart ass… blooy hell you should see how he does the rubic cube… why wun yu teach me la!!!

Davina Goh Jul 30, 2004 03:30 AM
I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s him, and I’m shitting myself for having this thought, but Albert’s starting to look like a ladykiller. Hey ladykiller, i got a rubik’s cube which i stole from the CLEO office coz it was just just lying around looking depressed. remind me to pass it to you so you can change its perspective on life.

Ju Yit Pan Jul 19, 2004 01:31 AM
one word to describe albert? amusing… 🙂 yes…u r still amusing! heres to someone who can be amuse by listening to the gas being released out of a soft drink bottle… i find you…amusing… 🙂 but then…he’s nice, funny and well…amusing? 😛 can nv forget you… musck! 🙂

Mystery Wolf Killer Jul 03, 2004 02:53 AM
Wake up! Wake up!!!!!!!!! Oy bangang wake up laaaaaaa!! . . . . *ahem* Gotta stop talking to myself… *coughs*

Yvonne Foong Jul 01, 2004 09:56 AM
B4 I meet him, they were telling me Bert’s a genius. When I met him, he gives me a funny feeling in my opinion. Aura tells me he’s not just any guy. He seemed self-centered at 1st n I gradually saw his other side. Bert’s a nice friend to share with cuz he keeps your words to himself. But there are some things about Bert I don’t quite understand. Oh, one more thing.. I’ve noticed brainy guys get all the attention from girls but always end up single. LOL!!

Kelvin Soo Jun 29, 2004 07:26 AM
roarrr Albert hehehe my buddy when i joined Xfresh, how can you forget Albert always funny just as long as there is nandos he is willing to talk!

Foong Wai Ng Jun 15, 2004 10:30 AM
imho, albert is super chic. dont be fooled by his petite size, when he opens his mouth… hoiyo, completely eloquent in the queen’s tongue. alberto is witty and sacarstic at times. i have a vague remembrance of him as being a graceful ice skater, almost like a polar bear. great masters of icebergs. the right person to reason out something with. i think he’s genius too. seems intimidating huh? fret not, he’s a social bug.

fiN.twO-FULL T. May 29, 2004 11:18 AM
yea and i must stress, that his massages are REALLI the best!!! lol, albie dear, you should CHARGE ppl hehhe. kidding ^_^ dont hate me ppl!

fiN.twO-FULL T. May 29, 2004 11:05 AM
Alby is my life sized doll, Wish i had a pic of him to put up on my wall. He’s so very the comel, Everyone knows it well. His massages are by far the best! They outrank all the rest. Without fail at three thirty everyday, He travels downstairs all the way. To the cafeteria for his tea break, Nasi lemak and teh tarik. When we chat online sometimes, He amazes me with his wonderful rhymes. Otherwise he just amuses me, With his funny sense of humour plain and simply. He tries to speak like Yoda the guy from star wars, But I’m afraid dear Albert I barely sense within you the force. Im running out of things to say now, Its getting late and I gotta get going anyhow. So to conclude this rhyme, And testimonial at the same time. Albert is a super great friend, Cute, funny, and true to the end =]

Chris Chiam May 26, 2004 09:44 PM
Alberto where’s the metal-o? Met this pint sized yet surprisingly dynamite like dude a couple of times and all i can say is, RESPECK!!!. Knows his music well, which is rock and some metal though i wish he would let loose and listen to some Cannibal Corpse man! And from what i can tell, he’s the reason why we still have Intrakotas and the LRTs not closing shop. Just an ASSumption la. Hehehe. Take care dude!

IFran MdNor May 23, 2004 02:26 AM
The BOSS…Period!! =P

dJcarmen Tong May 20, 2004 07:10 PM
WARNING ZONE: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER ask Albert about his clothes!! EVERY ANSWER WILL BE THE SAME!! eg: T-shirt = F-R-E-E!!! and Pants = ALL THE SAME (or at least all about the same from design to colour…we assumed he NEVER wash his pants)!! what the heck is wrong with this dude here….*sighs*

Shannon Me May 13, 2004 02:35 AM
albert is just about as evil as i can be. now that we’re even, i can start on your testimonial. from what i know there’s plenty going on in that brain of his. and i gotta admit that he is kinda cute. sorry i couldn’t have made that anymore less obvious like what you’ve done to mine. it’s not good to point out short people *hint hint* but he’s one smart ass-ed geek. translation: im jealous of how smart he can get. a very good object to roll out of a moving LRT and later to be laugh at. and even if we only met twice… he has hinted on what to get for his birthday (any transfomer will do) 😉 but dun count on what he’s gonna get you. it’ll just be another duckie stuff toy… *shakes his hands with my amilase-d hands*

fiN.twO-FULL T. May 10, 2004 07:45 PM
maybe if u spelt “defender” right =p… heheh ok lets get down to the gold. i dunno albert very well (but we can change that!) from what i’ve seen, he likes to step on kittens, play with rubikubes?? how the heck do ya spell it lol n e way. while im having problems just spelling it, he can fix em in like 30 seconds! talk about a genius 8] hehe, and he plays the guitar as well! such a hottie lol ^^ hes realli quiet tho. maybe its just around me? hehehe well i dunno, dun be so shy albie!! ok hehehe im so sick, my head is stuffed up and im becoming delirious. hehe cya later! -luv fiN

fiN.twO-FULL T. May 09, 2004 09:01 PM
ALBERT LIKES TO STEP ON KITTENS! DO NOT BEFRIEND HIM OR HE MIGHT STEP ON YOU TOO. *now i gotta run and hide before he steps on me ^^*

Jenifer Ooi May 07, 2004 12:04 AM
albert is a music geek. a geek as in…he knows what he IS talking about and have his very own opinion on everything. Once you get him attracted to a certain topic, he gets all excited and jumpy about it. and yeah, he SLEEPS in the morning and stays till late. unluckily, the “papparazi” in the tank will caught him and take pictures of him with the “cute” looking socks. and oh yeah, HE’S THE KING OF RUBIC CUBES!sheezs.. i wish i have your brain man ,but seriusly.. albert is also a kind and helpful guy. thanks for helping me around when i’m still new in the tanki ikan and *hint hint*, teach me sum of ur guitar skills lar! ;p (but then again..err..i think i dowan to learn la. bersara d.)

YoHaNa’s yohana May 06, 2004 10:30 PM
Albert thanks for your CD… akowekoweok he’s my guitar sifu… (I gotta have finish my lesson Sir, by this month… akwoekwoowke

YoHaNa’s yohana May 06, 2004 10:30 PM
Can u help me plzzz.. i’m in the poloce station now… they have all avidence against me. they wanna charge me in possesion of a ‘Very Chomel Gal’, not my fault what?????

Trent Hoh May 06, 2004 08:55 AM
Albert’d make a good stand in for Keanu if he had the right build. But the women really love him at any rate. I’m kinda jealous…

Carol Yong Apr 23, 2004 10:51 AM
albbbieeeee teach me how to fix rubik cubes!!! i want/need/want to learn! 😀 albie is cute 🙂 eh we go out soon kies? 😉 cheers

RaVeeN Kaur Apr 20, 2004 10:04 PM
Albert…Hmmm known him since primary…were quite close than..but ALBERT huh..can be extremely quiet..this was last time..dunno bout now..Were same scool in secondary but neva used to talk…funny… Nice bein ur fren… TakeCare

Mystery Wolf Killer Apr 18, 2004 09:53 AM
Dude, what’s with your submissive-slave-4-u pic? hahahahaha

Nadiah Syed-Nahar Apr 18, 2004 12:17 AM
Albert wants me to be creative in my testimonial but this is the most creative i can get! I am like Albert’s official photographer since he seems to like the pics I have taken of him 🙂 but then again I am the paparazzi in da fishtank (beware when u sleep btw!!).. speakin of sleep, he does this alot in the fishtank but only becoz he helps his frends until way into the wee hours of the mornin with their computer and tech probs!

Ting Fei Kon Apr 17, 2004 02:01 PM
Its a pity friendster limits Testimonials 2 only 1k characters..cuz its definitely not enuf to share wht a wonder this Guy is. He was my scholmate..but i never really knew him back then..then we met again in Astro and worked 2gether on certain project..Ghosh this fella is Genius! Lets put this way..this nutcase finds it easier to figure out the Rubik’s cube rather than Galz! Though there may be a pinch of truth in this..hehe. He is gentle & soft spoken..A real buddy..cuz he really makes an effort to keep his promises & Appointments..he wld literally walk frm Bkt JAlil 2 Sri HArtamas or B’sar to meetup wif me..Damn this fella really is a gd buddy. If U ever needs Any help..Dude i’ll be there! Just call. Its was gr8 meeting up with u..though u hardly ever change. Besides ur was longer! Neways this chap is humble, thoughtful, intelligent & dun u dare to mess wif him abt Gizmos..he’s a walking dictionary on Tech stuff. Take care br

Steven Koh Apr 16, 2004 04:34 AM
I know this guy since back in school days. He is a very quiet guy and nice to hang around with. A genius in programming. Changed alot since the old days and become more wacky and happening.You are a CHAMP mate!!

rUzY Mohamed Apr 14, 2004 10:07 AM
baby alby!!this guy would debate about EVERYTHING!first time i met him, we were debating about OPEN MARRIAGE! i loooooove giving this guy massages and tarik his hair coz the look on his face when i do that just makes me feel sooooooo good! albert is da man at xfresh! without him, i’ll just be lost la. albert is the fishtank’s RESIDENT GENIUS!!he is also the resident sleeper. he knows absolutely everything about rock music… and he always turns up at the most surprising places and knows the most discrete things…are u sure u ain’t a super sapien?? thanks for always repairing the printer for me dearie…i love u!!our pictures together always look funny! who da man? u da man!!!!!! rawk on!

Nazri StarKiller Apr 12, 2004 05:22 PM
The only guy who managed to catch me in my hiding hole. He just popped out from nowhere!! Dude, you know where to find me now. Together we can drool over those Transformers toys!!!! Wait..let me order my Predator first..then we go and drool over it, aight??

YoHaNa’s yohana Apr 05, 2004 06:27 PM
akowkeowkeow… Mr.Albert de Laberto.. xfresh’s “nadi”…akowkeokeoW… this kid huh i tell yah’ is one of my lesbian partner… akkowekowek… yes he’s ‘the lesbian in a guy body’…yeah that’s right!!! he’s lesbian… akoekwokeowk… dude i luv this jock AS MUCH I LUV HIM!!! akokweowkoekeo.. muaxxxx!!!! nway to be honest i dream about this guy last night… dream about how he trying to kill me coz i dun want to massage him… yeah i’m also gud in massaging… albert’s private masseur… akwoekwoekowke… i dunno what crap i’m writing now… The conclusion is that Albert ‘Thw Lesbian in a Guy Body’… yeah!! go albert!! go albert!!! go! go! go albert!!!

Mystery Wolf Killer Apr 05, 2004 08:33 AM
One of the most interesting dudes to talk to in real life n online! We always have a good conversation going, and we never run out of interestingly different topics 🙂 He’s such a rockstar wannabe *lol* and he works on his guitar shiet well coz he wants feedback on them, no matter how sucky u or he thinks it is (I give him the American Idol style of criticisms). His obsession with puzzles and codes r insane, and whenever I hang out with him he just seems to be so happy, energetic, enthusiastic, n bouncy! It’s awesome! Yeah Albert is the ever-ready- shoulder-to-cry-on fella because one time he was on the phone consoling a distressed friend for half the day! Ok, that was an exaggeration, but it sure seemed like it, coz i was waiting for him to go into Woh Fatt for ages! But it’s all good. Start taking those driving lessons, coz I know u want to kidnap my electric guitar or flirt with my amp and multi-effects board! *LMAO*

Accast le Shaun Yeap Apr 02, 2004 08:40 PM
Mr E=mc2. hahaha… Know him since sec school. We were bud mates last time. Sat beside him. He used to be soooo shy that time. But now, wow, a hell of a guy eh. Freakin cool with shades eh. Mr Matrix. He is freakin good in english. Always with his, ‘not never, didnt’. hahaha… One more thing, freakin brilliant in computing. Bloody good programmer. I remember last time he sent me a game that he programmed him self. wow…shocking le. That time still in sec school weh. A good friend to have and to hang out with. A very helpful guy. One of the good memories in my life, BERT. Keep in touch.

Serge Norguard Mar 30, 2004 07:56 PM
Dang… I used the wrong frenster account to add that testimonial 😛
Anyway what i would like to say about Albert is exactly the same thing Bloggersphere said :P.
He’s a good boy ^_^. Teh Tarik Cinnamon anyone ?!

Bloggersphere Bloggersphere Mar 30, 2004 09:17 AM
ahhh albert ng …. the man with the glaring keyboard. Glares with his extraordinary god-like powers of coding. If you dont believe me… go to . The coding..from html,css,php,asp …is nearly all done by this man. Anyway Albert, how about we goto Maju Curry House for teh tarik with kayu manis? ^_^

Azira-Goddess ChickaWicka Mar 20, 2004 12:40 AM
Got nothing to do on a Saturday and decided to update this dear friend of mine’s testimonials. Always seem to be the victim of pranks whenever he was asleep…I was grossly outnumbered so forgive me that I couldn’t protect you at the tank, Alby. I would recommend you to buy him gadgets, but we have already planned him a nice, practical gift for this year… Annoying sometimes, but he’s okay… still damn fair no matter how much I advise him to get a tan… Quite antisocial, but then again, so am I… lol… see ya Monday bro.

LiShun Chua Mar 17, 2004 12:08 AM
i don’t know this guy personally. actually, come to think of it, i only know him as THAT Xfresh guy in the forums. THAT dude who works at the fish tank. THAT albert fella. haha. was like, “huh?” when i got the friendster confirmation thing. anyway, Xfresh rocks, which means albert must rock too, but then, there really isn’t a real connection. err. great site, miss it loads, love the new layout thing, but really miss the OLD days. cheers, man.

Jasmine -BN- FeEhiLy Mar 12, 2004 10:50 PM
alright, maybe my first testimonial was kinndaa short. :p didnt know it was so short. so sorry! i’ll make it long this time. i’ve known albert for erm a few years? cant really remember. but yeah, place was at Mid Valley. anyhow, albert’s short (ahah!), fair (omg. i hate you), funny, blur, good looking, popular, admired by everyone (i guess), down to earth, crappy at times, weird, smart, and he’s good at computers. his english is damn good, his patience level is high, his listening skills are amazing, 100% straight forward, nice to be around with, CHILDISH (especially around KJ), and he is nice. amazing guy all round, and you gotta love his sarcasm. most of the time i dont really get it, but you know.. you will once you get used to it. omg. who can forget, a good accent-immitator. all kinds. matsalleh, indian. haha. anyways, long enough ryte? nyek nyek. so, i’ll see you around alright? ciao. 🙂

ANSON EMOZAI Mar 10, 2004 08:40 AM
He!!! Mr Digital, Mr Programmer Mr coolman….i dunno what else i can say oh Mr Milky or Mr Zombie too!!! coz his face is very very fair and his look is actually….why dun you find out from urself? Actually honestly speaking he is a cool guy and a nice guy to be with, if you dunno him u might think he is a sombong guy but actually if you really need helo he will try to help if he can and what else? i personal comfortable to be with this friend, we been eat together at Mac’D, i use to sent him back to office and even got once saw him at KLCC well even we dun hav a proper time to meet out yam char still happy sometime saw him on the street!Yoh BERT!! you should take more rest and drink less Teh Tarik, you are like a ngiht walker you know? your look sometime scare me to hell man! nice knowing you!!

Lex ster Mar 08, 2004 06:03 AM
Note to Albert: THIS WILL BE THE MOST MEANEST AND LONGEST TESTIMONIAL YOU’LL EVER GET coz’ this is revenge! The truth nothing but the truth about Albert Ng! Since, he said he DOESN”T know who is Guy Pearce..and he thinks he looks more like Keanu Reeves (FYI: Keanu reeves used to be a gay~unconfirmed rumour)… He’s a huge fan of Matrix…when I didn’t get the story…He got it and told me how great it was! Getting to know him about quite awhile now is ok la…He is a big time JAKUN. He wows at Streamyx and vanilla coke addict (always aasking me for that Mc’D vouchers) He doesn’t gets sick of thousands and thousands of trips that he makes to Mc’D, when eventually I got hmm…quite sick of it…He likes to comment about my eating habits, which for him is not like a normal person…As I won 15 CDs..and I was kind enough to give him 2/5 out of it.. He gladly lost the Bon Jovi DVD… (u’ll pay for this Albert!) and also the rest of the CDs…aahhh…As I love to piss him proves that Albert could be easily controlled…He also dun seem to play any sports…I wonder y Albert? R u scared of being hitted by a ball…or u r SCARED of the ball?hmm… I dunno why he wants to put on more weight…as he is already looking fleshy… hmm…as I try to crack the case of Albert being thin…(which I’ll nvr will) Albert is a genius who seemed to do badly during exams…which proves not all GENIUSES will do well during EXAMS like ALBERT Einstien, who flunked school passionately, I believe..ohh..which is also another Albert.. Y oh Y, all the Albert’s are so smart? And Albert is white…he might be an ALbino…and sometimes he do look pale and scary… That makes me think y he still disagree with me about LP…He also likes show off with his new pair of FREE Nike’s (I believe that’s the first pair of Nike’s and you should have seen him jakun-ing over it)… Actually, I have a theory that Albert is RICH guy because…he doesn’t spends on clothes at all…because…he gets FREE t-shirts all the time…and now even FREE shoes..oh yeah, forgotten about that RM 1 nasi lemak(he skips lunch and waits till 2pm just for it)…Anyway, he admits he is a geek and this Smart ALbert here who taught me the difference between a geek and a nerd (he even forced me to change it in my previous testimonial, which I deleted)…Well I do have to thank him for that! He has weird love or shall I say obbession with rubik cubes…he twist, turns it but its always easily solved by him…He cracks jokes that I can’t get and pretty lame I shall say…some jokes aren’t MEANT for me I believe…The funny thing is he has prefect vision eventhough staring into hours and hours at monitor…and he looks like panda bear(huge eye bags…u should c it) As he desperately searches for the ONE (which I doubt)…he’s actually nice… He loves Simpsons and lots of ROCK…oh..a loyal LRT passenger..and simple joys of life(according to him) Nasi lemak and teh tarik…aahh…typical Malaysian…Well, I got to admit the fact that he’s SMART and a very brilliant pro- GRAMMAR and proGRAMMER…(yes, Albert..I’m jealous of u) Ah bert, dun forget to cut ur hair ah…too long aleady ah! (trying to impersonate a ‘ah beng’) ANyway, dude U BETTER FIND BACK THOSE CDs or else you’ll pay for it! Note to the readers: By now, I believe you’ll say that I’m a very mean person and my testimonial about Albert..STINKS.. so what?…Albert added it to his page by the way…lol and Albert, I’ll write a meaner one..forgotten something..those ARE NOT HIS shades… ;p

DayanG Aaa Mar 02, 2004 01:58 AM
He’s a PEST!! P-E-S-T! Been pestering me for months and months.. for a testimonial.. *gack(pukes)* Anyways, this guy walks with style.. Golly I mean it. He has this martian-R2D2 kinda walk. I dunno how he does it but its different than normal beins’. Oh yeah.. thanx for da X-games booklet. Yeah.. well if it wasn’t for da booklet, I wouldn’t even write u this! Haha =P. Another thing ’bout this bloke is that he can go way way JAKUN ’bout lil things. I won’t mention what tho’ =P. Did ya know that Alb means a white vestment worn by priests?! Erm… bet ya didn’t know that… aye? Ok ok.. I’m flyin’ off now.. to Neverland. Hasta Luego! Oh yeah.. one more thing.. his words are ironically wounded 😉 -n-

Nadia Mishmore Mar 01, 2004 09:41 PM
albert = weird al yankovic. he comes up with the weirdest oddest jokes yet expects ppl to understand them. when i dont laugh at his jokes, he whacks my head. real hard. he’s mean. fortunately underneath all that mean- ness, albert’s a smart ass, hardworking co worker of mine who doesn’t go down for tea(eventhough i can hear his tummy growling all the way from my seat). albert LOVES the one ringgit nasi lemak at the cafeteria, heck he loves it so much, he’d wait for 2 o’clock to have lunch (cause tats when they bring out the nasi lemak). albert has a lot of girl friends too as ive discovered. perhaps its that “im-blur-n-i-come-up-with- lame-jokes” look that gets him lucky. everytime i have an emergency focus group, albert will call EVERY girl he has in his phone book. i thank ya for that alberto. best wishes to u n ur million n one rubik’s cubes, albert. loads of laff.

Zufar Shahren Jan 28, 2004 09:02 AM
Met him in X-Fresh. Definitely found him an easygoing and laid-back person, a friendly guy all the more.
I see that all the ladies are attracted to this magnet, heheh, seriously (they were all over him), and he didn’t really flaunt it. 🙂
I only knew him for a while though, so I can’t really write much about him because most of my comments are from third-person observations…
A nice guy nonetheless, and I think I might have more to say about him soon…

Maya Thiagarajan Jan 20, 2004 08:06 PM
Albs!I finally got down to writing a testimonial(yay for procrastination)So what to say ’bout Albert?Very very funny guy.Great sense of humour.Easy to talk too and looks chun in shades 😉

Redzuan Ahmad Redza Jan 19, 2004 06:36 PM
Albert Ng or Ah Bert as I’d like to call him… I would imagine him as the epitome of geek until one day when he put on that wicked pair of shades and lo and behold! It struck a close resemblence of an uber geek right out of The Matrix! His knack for stringing codes on the computer does not hinder his knack for stringing words in the most eloquent manner be it in a poem or those funny lyrics that he comes up with like his idol Weird Al Yankovic. Kicks major asses in any FPS games he plays against you, which makes you feel like wanting to kick HIS ass in person until you actually meet him in person when you feel like kicking YOUR OWN ass for letting such a frail looking dude kick your ass in the first place! Do not be fooled by innocent exterior though, for underneath it all belies the tenacity of a bachelor under reproductive pressure (a.k.a. horny dude wants to get laid).

Hanna Razif Jan 13, 2004 07:03 AM
Albert isn’t fair. Albert’s WHITE.

Aznin Zizal Jan 12, 2004 07:47 PM
let me tell you somthing bout this cute boy. i know albert is a programmer. he works in fish tank. he’s a very nice guy. and im looking forward to get to now him better. 😛 i know you hate this kind of testimonial..couldnt help it man ~~

Caryna Koh Jan 11, 2004 06:35 AM
fuiiyohh… lengchai wohhh. 😉

Azira-Goddess ChickaWicka Jan 09, 2004 12:07 AM
All right, Alby’s been after my ass rewriting hid testimonials that I screwed up, and yeah… I’m writing a new one dear. Ya happy??? lol. Alby’s a cute, did I say cute urm questionable ^guy^ (lol) who laments about not having a gf and for all I know everyone in Xfresh *wubs* him. It’s that or you’re banned from the website. The fact that he still doesn’t have a gf is probably better described by this example; if he had to choose between willing Liv Tyler herself and the latest Nokia gear, he’d choose the nokia. That’s how he just is (can’t say I don’t approve). He’s willing to listen, willing to knock some sense into my erratic mind, and more than willing to kill me if I did something wrong. He also reminds me of the unpleasant stuff I did, (waaaa…. jahat!). All in all, I wub Alby, cause he’s cute, he’s adorable, and he’s FAIR. I swear he has the FAIREST skin of us all!!!!! He never uses sunblock but he NEVER tans. *sigh*

Carol Yong Jan 04, 2004 02:18 AM
Oh and I forgot to mention he knows this cool music shop that sells second- hand cds and REALLY OLD VINYLS. Like those dinner-plate sized stuff. Old, dingy, weird music, but still a cool place. 😀 I never saw a vinyl till I went to that shop. Serious.

Carol Yong Jan 04, 2004 01:40 AM
So I actually wrote a testimonial for Albert but friendster ate it up. I don’t like friendster. It ALWAYS eats up my nice nice testimonials. *ahems* So anyways, I met him through Hanna. We were supposed to go out and I was a bit freaked out, to tell you the truth cos I thought he might end up to be some kind of insane psychopath. Blame the newspapers. That’s all you hear about what’s happening in KL. Innocent girls like me being cheated and stuff. Okay enough. So Albert turned out to be nice enough. He actully didn’t mind me dragging him and Hanna into every shop (or something like that) in Times Square, Sungai Wang, an Lot10. So he’s cool 😀 Uhms he likes vanilla coke and if Burger King introduces Vanilla Coke he will just sit down there all day with his friends and do nothing but eat Burger King stuff and drink Vanilla Coke. (And he’ll probably find himself diabetic the next day :P) And I asked him what Xfresh is about and he kept telling me ‘Music, Food, and *something*’ Anyways I just joined Xfresh and I STILL don’t know what it’s about :/ Yes so that’s Albert. Kind of. I think. RAWKKKKK on. 😀 Chaos.

Hanna Razif Jan 01, 2004 01:52 AM
Everybody loves Albert. Albert writes poems with simple- dontneedtoopendictionary.comeveryfewlin es-words has tricky meanings. eh wait. Albert doesn’t write poems, he writes riddles to puzzle and deprive people like me from sleep. He also practically knows the whole xfresh forums he knows everyone who says hey to him by their nick. Albert is living proof that don’t need to read books to be a genius. Everything you need to know, is available online. Albert is a cool dude. He lets you use his simcard to play GPRS. p/s dear Albert, GET A TAN. xo.

Edwin Lim Dec 17, 2003 08:35 PM
Yo dude~ here’s nice one for u: Remember the lame club we joined together in high school? haha… yeah, alwys ponteng to C.R. with Mr Lee in it, so no prefect would dare to kacau us~! I still remember u always sit alone at one corner with a 2nd-hand 486 com making some classic games out of Q-basic. Later, u created a network game over the internet and ask me to test it out with u. But the funny thing is: u never won in ur own creation… I wonder why… And about Hacking, I’ve quit the habbit (not :P) So if ever got hack or down one day, I didn’t do it! Just kidding man~

Kah Man Leow Dec 15, 2003 12:33 AM
This guy is probably Albert Einstein’s clone… Mini Einstein? He’s real smart. I wonder how he got 100% for an IQ-like test at Informatics last time. I can’t believe it. Anyway for those of you who know what computer programming is, he was the one that taught me the very basics of Visual Basic. I then self-studied further on this and started making trojan and other evil programs… hehehe… then this guy started to get annoyed with me because I was using my knowledge on making these stuff… LOL. Programming is so fun, isn’t that right Albert?

Ariel Yoong Dec 09, 2003 02:11 AM
UnC AlbY was one sick dude when I first saw him. ( sick as in ill. :D) Thought of him as a quiet, shy and erm…Quiet guy. When I got to know him a lil better, Woah~! He can talk for miles… and he ain’t shy! Muahaha… a very nice guy to hang out with and we seem to have more fun with him around. ^^ Generally, people LOVE Albert~ ( don’t believe me? Look at all his testimonials. *BiG Grin*) FarnY, CuTe ( look at that face of his!) & loved by all… now, isn’t that a great combination? 😉
p/s: When are you gonna do a lapdance for us? 😀

Wee Sim Khor Dec 07, 2003 10:35 AM
Very nice person. Have to get to know him. You wouldn’t live a complete life not having him lapdance for you. LoLx. A great guy. Friendly ;). Great personality.

Be bliss Nov 29, 2003 10:49 AM
albert….my “bf”! hahaha..more like my pillow though….juz looooovvvvvveeeee him soo much!! hahahahaahha…..i mean love his shoulders!!…so comfy..=P see yah tomoro…mmuuuuahahhhh…..muh lovely pillow…=D

Aznin Zizal Nov 29, 2003 08:32 AM
hey!! stop corrupting my bf. dont steals him away from me 🙁’re so mean..trying to make me jealous..just because our wedding is off it dosnt mean that you can steal him away from’re mean, mean..MEAN!! im gonna stay at the corner and cries now…hoping taht my dear will come and comfort me~ which is quite impossible because his attention will go to you..i envy you..I ENVY YOU!!! damm you…huk huk.. anyway..nice hair 😉 it’s long and perky ;)hik hik..:P

Xavy Xaviera Riji Nov 22, 2003 05:20 AM
Albert may look like a serious kind of guy.. but he’s actually quite the opposite. He brings this big mineral bottle everywhere he goes. He’s got good posture too. His movement is quite robotic. Albert’s a great and very knowledgable guy. Must get to know him!

eNg HocK Teh Nov 20, 2003 08:17 AM
Albert seems to be stuck in Xfresh for as long as i can remember. Was there b4 me…was still there when i left..wouldnt surprise me if he works there for life. Heheh…just like the boy who never grows up. If you want to hack into friendster so u can write nice testimonials for yourself, then Albert is the guy to look for. =p

jin kelvina Nov 17, 2003 11:10 AM
back when we were working together, albert was the only one who could relate to me and my music tastes
he was the one who shared a lot about local music to me. also the one who felt my excitement when i found some real shit in the media library.
thanks for taking care of downloads. working with u was incredible.
music rocks!

bridgeT -BN- shiu Nov 15, 2003 05:18 AM
this guy here has soOOo many gadgets wit him wherever he goeS…welL…dun reallY noe dis guy…but his kinda funnY…nice knowin u…

dJcarmen Tong Nov 13, 2003 03:52 AM
alberto!!! i love tiz name…even before i met him!!! he’s actually one of the first i met…in Xfresh!! first person was Fazri actually..cause he’s the person that brought me up to the fish tank!! but tiz guy..not mistakenly…should be the 3rd guy i’ve met in the fishtank itself!! he’s a funny dude…very very very funny!!! he’s in love with metal music..or any music that i would instantly got *blur* huh?? lol..actually..i’m planning to write an essay long testimonial for tiz guy..since i’ve promised him that i would!! haha…but i juz wonder he’ll approve it!!! 😀 okayz..back to Alberto!!! wat much can i say bout him?? umm..he’s a PURE HARD CORE tech fan…he would be so so so so so glad to even touch and play with any technical stuff…such as PDA and so on!!! he have a very very cute characteristic..and his laugh…sometimes seems fake :D!! haha….but he’s a great advisor when he knows what u’re up to!! he’ll come to u…say a few words and turn back immediately!! he have a very very very high iq :P…u can see him playing with the box thingy that changes the colour (cant remember wat’z its called)…but it’s really really funky!! we used to mix everything up..and he’ll time himself and in an instance he’s done!! he’s a great programmer..and if there’s any problems..juz ask him..and he’s up for the job!! so…umm…tiz is short actually..but i’m kinda worried if he’s gonna delete…i better stop here!! but gals…get a chance to know him..he’s cute, adorable and friendly!! willing and ready to mix around with anyone and everyone at anytime of the day or nite :D!!! “A great friend isnt on counted on their attitude…but itz counted on how u treat them…if u cherish them…they would cherish u back :D”

Yvonne Foong Nov 12, 2003 06:02 AM
Albert’s HUMBLE! I mean HUUUUUMBLEEEEE… ok you should get me. Elena says this geek is talkative but he seems quiet to me. But I can tell he’s a kind gentlemen. Very cool techie indeeeeeeeeed…….

Patrick Soo Nov 09, 2003 06:06 AM
Webbie, Rocker and The Rubic Cube Guy are some of the names that would describe Albert. This guy is both wise and patient beyond his years. I still remember the amount of hours I forced him to spend on the phone to teach me ASP and VB Script. He’s good, you got to give him that. But remember when approaching this Albertosaurus… don’t talk to him until he’s had his daily cup of teh-tarik.

Irma Mulyana Nov 06, 2003 05:20 AM
Okay, okay… A long one… Uhm… What can one say about Albert? He’s sweet, he’s smart and he’s really kinda cute… He’s an amazing programmer and if he weren’t around a certain website would fall over itself and die a horrible death… He’s also unselfish and patient and has put up with so much of my shit that it’s amazing he’s still friends with me… So thank you for everything, and we’ve got to go bowling again some day!

Nabz Nasir Nov 06, 2003 04:06 AM
albie!my gf!lol …. hes one cool dude to hang out with … the first time i saw him, thought he was real sweet, trying to make me comfy at the interview …. i didnt get thru the interview … but i got him as a fren, so it didnt really matter ….. hehehe .. albie, ur the best!

Sue Ong Nov 03, 2003 03:45 AM
This is only one of his many testimonials! Albert is a very friendly and down-to-earth guy. He’s fun to be with and he makes you feel as though you’ve known him for ages. He has a unique or rather ‘high’ sense of humour. He cracks me up!! 😛 He’s also helpful and forgiving.. ahem. He’s god of the xfresh forums!!! Bow down to him now. lol I notice that Albert is very observant about his surroundings and the people around him. Maybe this is one of the reasons why he writes good poetry. 🙂

SiZzLiN dIyaNa Ibrahim Nov 02, 2003 05:29 AM
Albert..albert..what can i possibly say about this guy here..He’s the man! hehe..He’s definitely one of the smartest guy i’ve ever known..Petite (for a guy lah) nice and cute too..Very the well mannered wan..Laughs for no reason sometimes..heheh..A great guy i’d say.. 😉 But don’t be fooled by his innocent looks..cause he’s definitely not!heh heh..Hope to see u one day..Take care now!

Brian Bobby Oct 31, 2003 11:37 AM
Albert isn’t a geek, he’s THE geek, man. Crazy fella, a virgin to rollercoasters.. Of course, not till he had to go on one with a few of us. Chooses a coaster with 2 corkscrews and a single loop as his first. What a madman. Cool and funny guy, he’ll c++ you to hell. So JAR! JAR! JAR!

Brian Bobby Oct 31, 2003 11:32 AM
Crazy monkey poodle pie, I can’t rhyme so I say goodbye.

Sereen teenageDIRTbag Oct 22, 2003 02:34 AM
LOL da first time i saw hez pic…i tot he wuz one of da qutest guy i’ve ever seen!! n strangely he wuz quter in real life *winkwink* alberts got dis great personality n hez rely nice!! oh how i wish he wuz mine :P~~

Sonia fL foongLian Oct 20, 2003 12:00 AM
Eh, this guy ar. Hehehe.. He’s really a geek man. Hehe.. I know he’s good in comps stuffs, but not too sure which part of it especially. Hehe.. Got to know him better thru comp club in sec scool. But then, we sorta lost touch after SPM.. In my opinion, he was quite a shy guy / introvert. But I think X Fresh made him more open? Hehe.. I’m not too sure. Just my thoughts. U tell me, albert. Hehe.. Oh, and u look more matured now, Albert. Rmmbr KLCC, where we bumped into each other? U look the u I knew from far, but not so when u came closer. From what I rmmbr, he’s also helpful. Overall, he’s a nice young man. =)

Joanne Fong Oct 19, 2003 01:58 PM
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. The first impression he gives you is that he is shy. DON”T EVER BELIEVE THAT! He’s such a big bully!!! always likes to tickle people!! erm wait.. not people.. ALWAYS like to tickle me and pinch my face! well, Albert is Genius in prgramming,don’t talk much, writes very well and i still think he’s a big bully! 😛

Alexander Wong Oct 19, 2003 07:44 AM
Albert! A perfect cross between Neo (Matrix) and Fox Mulder (X-Files). A computer whiz that could make up quick programming algorithm in his head as fast as solving a rubic cube in his head. Don’t be fooled by his looks as he has a happening soul inside with addiction to RHCP, Foo Fighters and anything related to stone and rock. He is also a major contributor to Alex’s Prawn & Shrimp Foundation.

su ling koh Oct 17, 2003 09:26 PM
alberto!! one word- genius. dem smart la this fella!! he’s dem nice oso. really nice 2 talk to. when ur bored just give him a ring and you will feel much better after that :p btw.. he’s good at pool too! dun let his innocent face scare ya. 😉 laterz albert!

caraMaitai y k Oct 14, 2003 10:10 AM
albert is a square with no edges. travels without moving. always loves a hug.

Arif Sham Oct 14, 2003 02:06 AM
albert..hehehe.. albert.. enough said abt his computer skills.. without a doubt he’s a pc freak.. a good guy.. nice guy to talk with.. a very open- minded guy.. when he talks u’ll enjoy by just listening to him even though u don’t know what the hell he’s talking about especially when it comes to computer stuff.. u know la me albert.. mane la aku reti sgt pasal computer nie. but being friends with him makes u feel a bit smarter.. it has been an honour to be getting to know u dude!

June -BN- Wong Oct 13, 2003 12:39 AM
Albert, this fella right here is this computer genius! He’s nice and friendly too … that’s probably all I could say. 😉 We’re not as close as before, somehow we lost contact but sometimes, we still talk. Rock on fella! 😉

Jasmine -BN- FeEhiLy Oct 12, 2003 03:10 AM
wooyeah! this guy over here is the bomb! whenever im down, he listens to me blab. lol. and yeah, one hell of a great guy!

Caryna Koh Oct 05, 2003 05:42 AM
I like Albert because Albert is like, the lamest. He’s like so toadally funny and has a way with words. Like Extremely talented, ohkaii. I don’t like Albert because he thinks I cursed him…*sobs* =(

Aznin Zizal Sep 27, 2003 09:44 AM
uuuhhhh alberrtt….you’re so cuteee..i dont know if its right for me to drools at your picture. eheheh…im gonna marry this guy soon. and all of you’re invited. whee~!! im getting getting married..yay yay!! im getting married with cute guy. albert mr smart pants…whee~!!! 😉

Be bliss Aug 20, 2003 01:44 AM
hhhmmm…albert??wellz…hes a super nice guy….thru his looks,u will think that hes a person who listens more to like classical..jazz or something like that..but no! hes soo into metal music..heheh…hes also a fan of gadgets…i think…=D well he looked like it..when he saw my pda…lol..oh yeah…hes very punctual (is it how u spell it?)if theres any event,hes always the 1st one to reach!

Davina Goh Aug 15, 2003 11:57 AM
his excessively rich command of the english language always gets me looking like this (0_o)… trust this guy to warp my name into a new philosophy which shall take the world by storm. i have been told me o many wonderful things about what can be seen underneath that tshirt of his, still waiting for a chance to see those rippling sinews for myself.

Aznin Zizal Jul 24, 2003 07:29 AM
albert, alby, albnok. you may call him whatever you like. first time i met him at botb du. when i first look at his face ,i was like…i know he’s albert. i know he is!! so i approached him at uptown. then guess what he said. ooo…so you’re that girl with bart’s butt. i thought u’re a rempit. aiyah!!! feels like killing him that time.then he sent me email said that he dont know what does rempit means. yeah..too much for minah rempit eyy…so my point is..he might be genious..but he still dont know know what’s jipang 😛

eileen farhana shair Jul 19, 2003 08:38 PM
albert…the first time i met him,he carried a water bottle around….he is a nice person,popular in xfresh and doesnt look like he is 20 this year.looking at him,i know he knows stuff about computers very well.he is nice la….kawan la dengan die…!! *promote albert

dee Annuar Jul 16, 2003 10:11 AM
here is mr know-it-all, and i mean it in a good way! I remember this one time he tried to explain to me the different type of rock music…boy was i confused! whatever it is, this guy has got skills when it comes to computers! I have nothing but respect for this guy! big-up to you Albert!

i am Isis Jul 14, 2003 05:24 AM
A Genius!! Ppl always say that a person as smart as a supercomputer will have no ‘social’ life, WRONG! He enjoys gigs and he’s a really nice guy. He’s the “Neo” of Xfresh! A real nice guy and im glad to know him. Cheers, Albert!

NiNA Tateiwa Jul 13, 2003 04:10 AM
i just cant imagine sitting next to him..when he keep on babbling about those computer codes n etc which for god sake i dont understand at all!!but the nice part to be next to him is the moment when both of us start to cakap- cakap about those hot chicks anf gorgeous guys passing around us!! Frankly,he’s so kewl and i really luf him!!wEee!!!go boy!!go boy!!

Edrei Zahari Jun 26, 2003 07:37 AM
Alright, so he’s another version of your techno-geek. But pay no attention to the usual game…this guy is a genius when it comes to coding and all of it. So he may not be Neo (after all there can only be one One), but as a guy who knows his codes, I’m not surprise if he can program the REAL world to stop bullets at will.
Smart, savvy, cool, calm, sensible and collected. His quiet wit almost always hits the spot. Someone you can count on to get things done just right. He’s one of those people we really need in this world.

Haz Hashim Jun 26, 2003 03:50 AM
neo of the fishtank…. aka zombie albie

Edwin Lim Jun 24, 2003 12:41 AM
Brilliant Programmer, but has Weird characteristic guy…

Not My Average Friday Evening

I was walking around Desa Sri Hartamas sometime after 7pm, 16th January 2015. I was waiting to meet my friend who had a tendency to be late.

I walked past Kantin to the road leading to Souled Out. I was near the place that used to have a burger truck and shisha.

Somebody grabbed me from behind, with his right arm around my neck and asked “kau pergi mana?” I was confused. I turned around expecting to see Tarquin Hashimi?, my friend who had a tendency to surprise me from behind with a bear grab. It wasn’t him.

I asked if he was a policeman, as he was not dressed in uniform as he escorted me, with his arm around my neck, towards Jalan 26A/70A (where the big police station was). He didn’t seem to concerned about cars as we crossed the road, and no cars honked, interestingly. I asked him to show his kad kuasa (Police authority card) but he did not.

He asked where I stayed and I replied with which Taman I stayed in. Then he asked again, louder, and I answered again. He asked what I worked as. I said, “saya buat Android app”. He said “pfft apa benda buat Android app” as if he did not believe me.

I asked what I did wrong and I do not remember what he replied, or if he replied to my question at all.

Upon entering I was brought into the nearest door facing the entrance. The corridor made a sharp left, where I entered the second door on the left. The room had a window with curtains behind it that faced the outside.

There were altogether 5 of us in that room. The guy who grabbed me looked a bit like Aizat Amdan. (I will refer to him as Aizat* from now on.) To my right, a skinny cop who looked like a guy I know called Areef (who I’ll call Areef*). Another guy in a crew cut with a mole to the side of his mouth, to the left of Aizat*. There was another guy on a laptop with a scanner/printer combo.

They asked for my NRIC, which I handed to them. They asked me to empty my pockets and bag.

Areef* asked me to unlock my phone and he went through it, scrolling through pictures. He saw the MyDistress app and asked what it was. I told him it would send a distress signal to PDRM Selangor. He was probably curious since it had a PDRM logo on it.

They saw my Politiko notebook and asked about it, saying it was a benda subversif pembangkang. “Ni geng Adam Adli ni”. I said it was just a “benda free”. Aizat* went through it, and I pointed out the Android app mocks that I had drawn in it. There were also some Transformers sketches and some notes about Copyright Law, which he noticed as well. There was also a list of band names, which they asked about. I said that I had written down the names for one of the open mics I went for.

They saw my camera and Aizat* asked how to turn it on. He then looked through the pictures. I then said that there are pictures there, including of Rock The World. “Gambar gig”, I said.

They asked why I was resisting and I said I was scared. I told them I thought they were going to rob me. They asked, “kau pernah kena samun ke?” I said no. They asked again, and I said no again. They told me that if a robber wanted to rob me, a robber would have immediately gotten out the knife.

Then I said that usually when police stop me they ask me to show their NRIC. Even when I’ve seen foreigners, they do not get grabbed from behind, but they get blocked and asked for identification.

They said that they will not courteously “baaang, minta tolong tunjuk IC” in a soft, gentle voice. They said that they were “tegas, bukan kasar”.

Areef* then took his turn at explaining. He grabbed my wrist and asked, “kalau saya tangkap kamu macam ini, kamu boleh lari tak?” “Tak”, I replied. He asked again, “kalau saya tangkap kamu macam ini, kamu boleh lari tak?” “Er, boleh?” I answered. So he explained that is why they had to grab me from behind on the neck.

So then I asked how I could tell if they were robbers or cops. They said that if I had shouted, “tolong ada orang nak samun saya!” and a member of the public intervened by trying to stop Aizat*, then he or his partner would show his kad kuasa.

They explained that by bringing me to the police station that they were actual cops, and if they were not, they would have been stopped at the entrance (but the main gate was open anyway, with a guardhouse.)

They asked why I was walking around aimlessly. I said that I was waiting for a friend. The crew cut cop said that if I was to wait for a friend, I would sit down at a mamak and have a drink. I explained that I did not want to do that as I was going for dinner later and I’d be full of water. He questioned that. I said I had stomach problems, and they laughed.

Aizat then asked how long I’d been going for gigs. In my head I would’ve said 8 years (actually, 14 now that I think of it) but I stumbled and said 2. He later asked again and I said 3-4 years. So he said he had been going for Rock The World since he was 13, and he only missed one. (So did I, and if he missed Rock The World 1 as well, that would make him around 27.) He then asked me which was the best one and I said, the one with 3 stages where two were facing out and one in the middle. He said that was around 2007-2008.

Then he said that I should not say gigs because gigs ada elemen subversif. The pictures he saw, of open mics, were “muzik budak-budak, bukan gig sebenar. Lain kali jangan kata gig”.

So yes, the police have seen your pictures. My SD card went all the way back to Rock The World 14, so if I saw you perform then, so did Aizat*.

He also saw my Toyworld TW-01B Hegemon, a third-party Megatron toy that transforms into a realistic-looking handgun. Fortunately, he also saw pictures of it in robot mode, so he did not question me on that.

Finally, Aizat* asked that I stand up. He asked me if I knew what I was in the room for. “Er… sebab jalan-jalan tak tentu?” Then he said that it was because I was suspicious and he suspected me of concealing a weapon.

The cop on the computer printed a few copies of the report and got Areef* and Aizat* to sign. Aizat* realized he signed on the wrong part and went “tsssk”.

I did not have any statement or sign anything. They did not ask me to put my thumbprint on their report, either.

I asked if I could see the report (presumably in this context, I do not own the report). They said that I could not. They then asked under which Section of the law that I could see the report, to which I could not answer.

Areef* appeared from behind the window, smoking a cigarette. It was then I realized there was a window there.

Finally, Aizat* walked me out, and said that they’d been getting reports of a Chinese guy breaking car windows around the area. (In retrospect, that has been happening for quite a while now so I do feel sorry for Aizat* and fellow policemen, you haven’t found the right guy yet.)

I was just about to say, “okay see you at Rock The World!” but then my friend called at 7:53PM and so I said “see?” I spoke loudly to my friend how I was brought in to the police station. He picked me up and we went to a warung where Gerak Khas was playing, and we wondered if they ever showed the police arresting people who they thought were suspicious and finding out they were innocent.

I was quite shaken by the experience and nearly in tears as I walked out. My friend picked me up and I was just very, very thirsty. I cannot imagine though for someone who had not read the Red Book once (it tells you what to do when stopped by police) how they would feel! So it was not exactly as I thought it was, of course, and they did not tell me the reason for arrest until the end when he asked me stand up. In fact, I did not even ask if I was under arrest, and I did not ask for any of their names or identification. However, upon re-reading the Red Book, because Aizat* wanted to take me to the Police Station, I was thus under arrest.

I also felt shaken because, instead of shouting for help, I instead checked to see if it was my friend! I should’ve just shouted for help, as the elbow around neck could also be a kidnapper’s posture.

It’s interesting how a policeman’s logic and my logic is different. Similiarly, my mom’s logic and mine are different (her dad was a police officer, but I don’t know if I could call her a “anak kuarters”). So no, I don’t hate police, not because my grandfather was one, but because I understand that we all come from different backgrounds, different experiences, and they’ve been looking for the car-window-breaker for a while now while I wouldn’t think about it except when walking around Desa Sri Hartamas or SS2.

Here’s the link to the Red Book, in English and Malay, that talks about what to do when stopped by police, and your rights:

P.S. I’ve just spoken to a lawyer, who thinks that if they suspected me of carrying a weapon, there should be no reason for them to approach from the front, so I have no case against them. Which is fine by me – I was just curious if there was. So friends, now you know!

Edited 1:45AM, 26th January 2015: A rough sketch, in that POLITIKO notebook. X marks the spot I was grabbed from.

Artificial Black Hole

Physicists and movie scriptwriters, take heed! I now know how to make a black hole artificially.

Take someone who enjoys Facebook interaction, and hide his/her birthday status. At the stroke of midnight, I… I mean, he/she, would feel a massive empty, lonely, crushing feeling. Something missing.

So it’s technically not an immensely dense mass if it’s nothing. A sucking vacuum pulling in.

At midnight, I felt a strange emptiness – for the past few years, birthdays were just a ritual of replying to birthday wishers on my Facebook wall in the most creative, personal manner possible. The only bummer is when the other person is a Facebook acquaintance that I don’t know what to riff with them about.

My initial idea was to see if somebody would wish me anyway, and see if people would follow and wish, or if people would hesitate since they didn’t know for sure. As it turned out, nobody did! Instead, I got SMSes and private messages, or wishes in person. Nobody took to my Facebook wall, starting a crescendo of wishes.

I was inspired by one such friend who had a birthday wish. I then wished her too, following with this reply:

“That said I am inspired by your omission of birthdate on your profile and am tempted to see what would happen if I omitted mine! Would people pick up on a wall post? Would one person getting the date wrong get me an early birthday flood? Would this mean I would not just be spending all birth day replying to each wisher? And yes, I’ve just hidden my birthday so the scheme I stole from you begins… now.”

Feeling the crushing void, I was tempted to ask that friend why she hid her birthday, but I held back, knowing that if I asked, I might give away that it might be my birthday today. My colleague thankfully withheld temptation to wish on my wall, after wishing me in person, because he knew of my birthday from my office Skype account.

I also went out of my way to wish my friends who were born on the same day, without drawing attention to the fact that we were born on the same day. None of them wished me back. More sadness! I remembered who they were by heart! Such pricks, just like me, who only bothers to wish if I happen to see their birthdays on the birthday bar on Facebook, and only if I have something punny and witty to say!

Thus, I shall not repeat this experiment again. My Facebook profile should say it now, that I was born a certain 19th of December, 1983.

I Touched A Dog

I woke up late and missed the I Want To Touch A Dog event on the 19th of October 2014 at Central Park, Bandar Utama. However, seeing all their pictures and testimonies inspired me, a non-Muslim, to touch a dog!

I grew up at my grandparents’ house, where my aunt had a dog. She, the dog, was always chained to the fence, and would always bark at me. While I wasn’t exactly afraid of her, I wasn’t in the habit of touching her – she was always in that “dog zone” and was not allowed to go indoors to the “human zone”. At most that would just mean that I would not walk a straight path to enter the house as I avoided her while she barked at me as if I was an unfriendly stranger (which I won’t deny, because I was an unfriendly stranger to her.)

The second dog my aunt had, had a case of ticks, so I was much more avoiding of her. We’d spot ticks on the porch, alert my mom, who would scoop it up in a used envelope and burn it.

Whenever I went to my friends’ houses, they would usually sense I wasn’t friendly with dogs, so they’d lock them up first.

However, after seeing all these posts, I had a change of heart. I took the oppurtunity to test this when I went to a house and was greeted by a dog who leapt onto me, who was super curious as to who this new human with a new smell was. It was as if I was a crumbly, messy cookie eater. I tried to tell her that I didn’t have any drugs on me. I was even hesistant to take off my socks in case she would eat them (so I tucked my socks deep in my shoes…)

I should not have had to worry about her eating my socks, because she proceeded to continue trying to glomp me as I went in. She was a very licky dog and while I’d pet her, I also tried to keep her from licking my face. That was something that was beyond my comfort zone at that time. She didn’t, and I didn’t have to tell her off.

After quite a while I took out my camera and she suddenly became very afraid of me. She cowered in fear of this shiny glass eye. So this picture is not any indication how happy she was to touch a human!

*My initial draft referred to all animals in the story as “it” but I Googled and found this:


According to Spiritual Belief System Selector, my belief is most likely:

Unitarian Universalism

My Complete Results:
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Secular Humanism (92%)
3. Taoism (90%)
4. Liberal Quakers – Religious Society of Friends (86%)
5. Mahayana Buddhism (80%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (79%)
7. Non-theist (75%)
8. Mainline – Liberal Christian Protestants (72%)
9. Neo-Pagan (67%)
10. New Age (66%)
11. Jainism (65%)
12. Reform Judaism (56%)
13. New Thought (54%)
14. Sikhism (54%)
15. Hinduism (47%)
16. Christian Science Church of Christ, Scientist (44%)
17. Scientology (40%)
18. Orthodox Quaker – Religious Society of Friends (39%)
19. Bahai (31%)
20. Mainline – Conservative Christian Protestant (17%)
21. Islam (17%)
22. Seventh Day Adventist (16%)
23. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (13%)
24. Orthodox Judaism (9%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (6%)
26. Jehovahs Witness (6%)
27. Roman Catholic (6%)

How ironic, considering I was raised a Roman Catholic!

Add Calendar Event Now

I created a very simple Android app that launches the Calendar app, at the New Event screen, with the start time pre-filled as the time on your device.

Get it on Google Play
Add Calendar Event Now

I wonder why the Calendar widget doesn’t have a New Event/Add Event button. That annoys me, too!

It only works with the Calendar app that came with Ice-cream Sandwich onwards, though, so you won’t be able to install this on a pre-Ice-cream Sandwich device.

Data Safety and Privacy Policy

This app only collects the current device time, then asks Android OS to create an empty calendar event using the Intent system, and inserts the time that was collected. It does not read the Calendar entries.

As for my other app on the Google Play Store:
My first Android app live – DigiTech Patch Viewer!