Five Five

Today has been so full of hilarious randomness that I feel compelled to blog in the style that I used to, before I started flooding it with pictures.

Woke up late, rushed to the office, and had breakfast there. The cafeteria lady and her coffee machine makes a powerful latte. (I work in Menara Maxis now, and there is nothing more that I wish than for it to have a paternoster lift.) So I went to the comfortable toilet an hour later because y’know, coffee has a laxative effect. The gents has 3 cubicles and I took the middle one, since the first was occupied. I overheard a female voice talking on the phone. I then realized it was just an effeminate male voice. I then heard another voice, also from the same cubicle. Couldn’t make out what they were saying but they seemed to be joking with each other. I didn’t make any effort to be quiet as I entered the toilet, so they should’ve heard me.

Perhaps it wasn’t the noontime tryst I assumed, but a wardrobe malfunction that needed attention. Still, I’d think that if I was having a sexy time in a public-like place, that I’d pause and try to be as quiet as possible – no sexy time going on in here, no sirree…

This following disclaimer segment wouldn’t exist if I blogged about this 15 years ago when everyone was less politically correct:
1) I am indifferent to whether a toilet is hygienic enough or gross for an exchange of bodily fluids
2) I don’t have moral objections to homosexual activity
3) I’d think that those having a sexy time would be more grossed out by unsexy sounds and smells of a toilet, than somebody trying to unload and hearing somebody else blow their load
4) The office toilet is admittedly pretty clean by male toilet standards
5) I am indifferent to gendered toilets – if the argument for gendered toilets is to avoid possible perving from the opposite sex, what if a homosexual pervs on members of the same sex because he/she is allowed entry? Is a bisexual disallowed from both gendered toilets? Is an asexual allowed in both? Besides, we have ungendered toilets at home. If the argument for gendered toilets is space e.g. urinals, and I was a pre-operation transsexual female (meaning I was assigned male at birth), would I pick the gents if I needed to pee because I wouldn’t need to queue for a cubicle? (But then, gender expression is separate from sexual preference.)
6) I am often hesitant to commit these thoughts to text because people read this and think I will keep this opinion forever. (A common activist trap, which is why activists all get angry at each other, because either context collapse happens due to our affinity to call out instead of call in, and we consider an activist a hypocrite for changing their stance.) I’ll revise my thoughts sometimes when informed better.

As I told this story, I was asked if I heard any “piak piak” sound. That’s a term used in Malaysia, usually of penetration. I wonder what the non-penetrative version of this for female-only trysts is, and how it is spelled.

I wanted to ask this on Facebook, but my timeline is quite focused on particular topics, that it seems out of character. Perhaps I’m overthinking this, with my fingers to my chin, like a Philosoraptor.

I then remembered that there is an Albertosaurus! I thought that would be cool as a Facebook profile picture, where I’d call it my spirit animal, but the Albertosaurus walks on fours like the diplodocus, doesn’t it? I looked it up and found out that the Albertosaurus in fact walks on just its hind legs and is quite like the Tyrannosaurus Rex in appearance. So I could legitimately make such a meme, once I’ve drawn it, preferably in the art style of Pusheen, with a monocle.

So, back to the randomness of today. I got a phone call from an unknown number, and the guy spoke to me in Cantonese, and he said his boss spoke to me, from some network company. I asked what this was about, and he said it was about their company’s order of chairs. Apparently, I sell chairs now.

I for one would love a good work chair, for my home PC – one that has easy adjustments and decent headrest such that I could choose to lean back and sleep in it, for the times I want a short nap and avoid oversleeping if I take a nap in a proper bed.

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