Monthly Archives: January 1999

Naughtily Umbrella – pr0n

I thought I saw a man with no life
He’s alone, doesn’t know why
And desperate for a wife
He showed me what was good to buy
Socially speaking, that man was a bore
He didn’t seem to know, he didn’t seem to care
That his eyes were sore
He was dirty to the core
There’s nothing but those thoughts in him
He works his eyes at the gym
That’s what’s going on
My friend’s into pr0n

He puts in the tape
This is what I see
Those people have no shame
Lying naked on the floor
Before he drools he’d gape
At this crazed orgy
I tell him it’s lame
But then he tells me that there is more
He’s sick in the head
Cos’ he’s into pr0n

So I guess the psychologist’s right
Should’ve seen all those symptoms
That he shows day and night
A spot-check reveals packs of condoms
I don’t know just where they suck
I don’t quite know how they’re worn
There’s just so many spots
That they can touch in pr0n


There’s nothing in his head but that
He’s even aroused by a cat
That’s what’s going on
My friend’s into pr0n


He puts in the tape
This is what I see
Those people have no shame
Lying naked on the floor
Before he drools he’d gape
At this crazed orgy
I tell him it’s lame
But then he tells me that there is more
He takes out the tape
Or the VCD
I thought that he would change
But he just changed to part three
He’s a little strange
My friend’s into pr0n

Ever Rear – Swinger of Mine

Swinger of mine
Tell me what have you seen
You know I can’t close my eyes
The whole film’s not censored
Swinger of mine
Take me back to the gay
Yeah when I was still your virgin boy
Then before you went astray

I remember blue flicks helping you lick
I loved the way you made me high
I loved it just for the kicks
You would take me to the pornie
Staying away from the bitch
You would make me kiss their faces
Trying to give a sales pitch

Swinger of mine
Tell me what did you do when you had the girl beside you then
But you did not seem to know
Swinger of mine
Tell me what do you see
When you look back in history
Whose virginity?

I was freezing cold too raw to know how
Was it easy for me to be a strip dancer in a bad neighborhood
Sometimes you’d send me a porn picture
Telling me what’s the deal
But I never was good as you were
Like, you knew how to kneel

Swinger gave me away
Don’t know why until today
We were not okay
We were on the display
To both our dismay
I’m sorry for the delay

Swinger gave me away – we gave up anyway
Swinger licked away – swinger took it away
Swinger swung away – my happy times went away
Yeah yeah oh yeah

Swinger of mine
Tell me what have you seen
Yeah I can’t close my eyes or it would get swallowed
Swinger of mine
Tell me how do you sleep
When the condoms you abandoned become AIDS for you to keep
I will try to be safe on you is my whole blame
I will always have STD’s – should have known it had came
Now I am a grown up
But I’d rather not beg
I don’t even have a broken cup
Don’t want to be a fag

Swinger walked away – swinger made me astray
Swinger made me pay – I was broke then anyway
Swinger screwed my day for I had no right to say
Swinger ripped away then he taught me his way
Swinger loved his way so he taught his way
Then he walked away

Third Horned Kind – Bovine

I wish you would come to school much more often
You could lose marks for being the one who was always absent
And if you do not like to see books again
I would understand it drives you insane

He has it thick for facial hair
Could say it’s better than being bare
No rules it had complied
We’re bored to death he’ll steal us a fish
The teacher’s left – great, but we’re wimpish
Who knows what’s inside
Well everyone I know has got an idea
They say, “Throw the cow away”

I wish you would stop from eating so much beef
You could get thrashed your party crashed and lose some of your teeth
And you better not dare cross paths in the rain
Watch out for his horns or drop in the drain

Watch out for his tail, it’s swarming with fleas
He’ll infect you with mad cow disease
From you mouth bursts foam
He’s got an Elvis cut that’s out of style
They’ve snipped it off on the floor a pile
And then, and then he runs home
Everyone knows who to find for blue stars smoking cigars
You can find him with the bars


I would understand – throw those VCD’s away
I wish you would stop it cos’ that’ll be your end
I would understand

Shagger Way – The Bugger

Every morning
There’s that bugger standin’ by the rear end of my sore red derriere
He knows I hate it but I’m forced to let it in there
Until I buy his six-pack of beer
Couldn’t take it out – lubricate with cream
Once again as predicted that it hurt so much that I scream
‘Cause it tore the seam
Something’s got me itching
Made me start the scratching
I can’t stand the pain
Didn’t say we could do it – you knew but you just did it again
That bugger say

Aaahh… Every morning… Aaahh… Every morning…
It gets stuck up
Shut the door bugger don’t scream so loud
This always goes wrong – this takes too long
I don’t feel okay this is not the way
Every morning
There’s a bugger trying not to wake me
From my half-unconscious state
I know it’s his idea and I know he thinks I like it
But I prefer that he mast the bed
Something’s so relieving when you start removing
Makes you aroused again
Said we shouldn’t do it I know you wanna do it again

Aaahh… Every morning… Aaahh… Every morning…
When I wake up
Hit the door baby don’t hit on me
Aaahh… Every morning… Aaahh… Every morning…
My coffee cup
It feels so sticky – I don’t know, icky?
He always sticks it up my rear – oh dear
He always licks it up with cheer
Every morning…
There’s a slient moaning from the earshot of my really sleepy head
Of course it’s not me but I’ll see
If I can escape for the weekend or else I’ll be dead
Wet the door hey you’re too absurd
Every morning… Every morning…
Lesions, bruises
Get the first aid now I just don’t care how
Every morning… Every morning…
I don’t like what he does
Keep it to yourself do that bookshelf
Every morning… Every morning…

Married in Brooks – Ways to Stop the Haze

I hate the haze today
It’s too thick to see
What lies so far away
It’s unhealthy
But you looked at me like maybe
It’s not bad for you or me
But I guess you’re wrong
Yesterday I coughed
Must’ve been in open air for way too long
I can’t understand why you still open burn
It’s not our turn
We can stop this too
Cos’ it starts with all of you

All I ask
Get a good mask
If you don’t you will choke on all the dirty particles
That’s polluting our air
You should dare, don’t just stare
Report open burning
You know, these are just a few ways to stop the haze

If you have gotta smoke
Laugh out loud like you just heard a funny joke
Like a thick fog
But it’s polluted air and it’s contributing to the smog
Don’t drive, take a jog
Whenever that you can
Don’t use air-con, use the fan
Where’s our clear blue skies
You may blame it on those
Forest clearing guys
It’s not all their fault
We point fingers at default


Just when you think you got it all cleared out
But seasons already changin’
You think you’re cool
You smoke you’re a fool
Instead you can car-pool


I’m choking
I’m gasping
I’ll be fainting
So you better not pollute
You know that it’s not good
Smoky factory chute
I just ain’t in the mood
You know, these are just a few ways to stop the haze

Backside Boys – Wash Your Body

Oh my god it’s back again
Brothers, sisters, everybody’s sick
We’re gonna bring the rain clouds show you how
I’ve got a question for you
Better answer now (yeah)

Is it polluted? (Yeah)
Is it unhealthy? (Yeah)
Is it bad for you? (Yeah)
Is it everything you never needed?
Wash your body now

Everybody (yeah)
Wash your body (yeah)
Wash your body, right
Haze is back, alright

Please don’t burn in open air
Spray water like you just don’t care
If you want a doctor let me hear you cough
Cause it’s got us gasping once again


So everybody, everywhere
Don’t be afraid, don’t have no fear
Gonna tell the world, make it understand
As long as there is burning
It’ll be coming back again


Cash Mouth – When The Big Bill Comes

It’s the time, take a vow, thank economy
You have to pay up again
You are the poor, the broke, and you are out of money
Find dough, then spend

In this money craze (and the exchange says)
Everything is dear
So push your luck but in time like anybody
You have to pay up again

The way that things are
No money means no talk
So you have nothing
And every single day you want a raise
When the big bill comes

Plead with them to spare you, your wallet’s empty
How many rules can you bend
You have no foe, no friend, no support financially
When will this tragedy end


The way that things are
No money means no talk
So you have nothing
And every single day you want a raise
And when it comes your cash flows slow
Hoping for the day while keeping it in tow
Looking back before it goes
Your pocket’s gonna hurt

It’s just

Dead Hop Philly Rappers – Bad Hairdo

Bad hairdo that I wish you saw
It’s against fashion police law
Don’t you know they’ll arrest you cos’

With birds you’ll share
With birds you’ll share this bad hairdo and (X2)

Styled it up against the norm
Young, you thought it was a delicate form
I’m warning you that it’s uncouth
So please wake up and face the truth cos’

With birds you’ll share this bad hairdo and (X3)

Hair loss in a bathroom stall
Things don’t seem to go your way at all
Trends you try make you bald cos’


Your mane stood with a show of hues
It attracts insects to fuse and
If it was mine I would choose
To remove it before someone sues and


Bad hairdo that I wish you saw
It’s against fashion police law
Don’t you know they’ll arrest you cos’


Brit Knees Pierce – (You Know I’m) Lazy

Lately I’m so lethargic
You got me resting
And it’s chronic
Snoring is my trademark sound
It’s time for snoozing
Annoyances are frowned
Everytime you disturb me
My heart beasts a bit
Then I grunt softly

You know I’m lazy
I love to sleep
I’m so not bothered
Your talk is cheap
Oooh lazy but it feels alright
Because thinking of work
Lulls me day and night

Tell them don’t give me more chores
That I have suffered so many sores
Tell them don’t add to my load
I know I’m wasting my time in this mode
Everytime I see them plan
I must evade it
And so I ran


You know I’m lazy
Oooh lazy

You know I’m lazy lately
I don’t know and I don’t care
Oooh come morning feels groggy
When I think of the day keeps me so cranky


Sleepy lazy lazy

You know I’m lazy
But it feels alright
Because thinking of work
Lulls me day and night

Split In a Hurry – Bathe Tonight

Go on close the curtains
Ccos’ what you need is privacy
You know we hate your deodorants
That you wear proudly
Well we know you have tooth decay
And how I wish you were okay
So take this soap and this shampoo
Clean your deposits of goo

Bathe tonight
Your toes used to be pink
Look properly
You missed a spot I think
Bathe tonight
Brush your teeth on the sink
Cos’ otherwise
Otherwise you would stink

There’s your so-called attire
With smells of morning after
Tommorrow you’re still wearing those
Slackers I suppose
People say to you goodbye
My friend please understand why
Don’t you know you really smell
And how I wish that you could tell


Your breath repels, they all run away
You’ll wish that some, that some would stay
Don’t you know they gotta go
Don’t you wish they said hello

chorus x2

I hope that you’ll be clean
Hygienic’s what I mean
And white teeth with a sheen
That I’d like to have seen