Category Archives: Jokes

Friendster Testimonials I Wrote

I used to save Friendster testimonials I wrote into a text file I’d save on my computer. I don’t think I started this very early, though, so there might be some testimonials that are missing. All testimonials are single paragraphs. See if you can spot a testimonial I wrote for you!

She is demented beyond her picture with short hair. The picture is a lie because her mouth is never shut! I can be stoning in her car in the sun, listening to her brag about her new audio system, and I’d be expected to say “uh-huh”. She insists on shaking the life into co-workers by rattling their chairs. She may be all grown up and quite a skinny looker (from afar) but deep down we all know she’s a Steve Urkel meets Johnny Number 5. You still see it when she tries to be Beyonce, or when she shows her identity card.

She’s cuter than she’s hot, she’s sweeter than she looks… not! Everytime I stare into her eyes she finds somebody to distract me, and I lose. She keeps count! Last I remember it was like 8 to 6, cock-staring, in MY favor. Yes, she’s a tennis freak, and her arms are freakishly long and unporportionate. Not like anybody notices, her voluminous cheeks are too distracting! You just wanna poke them again and again. Poking her stomach is fun too. You just wanna be mean to her. She’ll make that manja face, which doesn’t work, because it brings out the inner demons of gerbil-microwavers. Oh yeah, she has a very unladylike, wholehearted laugh, bursting out her cheeks and perfect teeth.

She looks like a giant hamster. You just wanna do sadistic things to it. Once you’ve seen her Cerekarama sad face, you’ll wanna bully her. She has crushes on forbidden authority figures! She is quite pious, but I’ve never seen her in headscarf. She is always sickly and suffers from long term memory displacement. She got my birthday wrong in my testimonial! She can deal a mean blow, but I’m not scared of her… I know where she lives!

Millions have lost weight through the wonderful exercise of laughing with him! Why wait? Call him now, if you can afford it! He’s either making somebody laugh, or diagnosing their computer problems, or both. An Inspector Gadget indeed. He’s also so well-versed with KL, that he puts people born in KL to shame!

She is ultimately cool. Not like in-your-face-cool but laidback cool. Calm. Wise beyond anybody’s ears. She knows her stuff. Too humble to sit on top of a mountain. She keeps it real. She’s got soul. Feel the love! She makes me write like this and I don’t know why either. Suddenly, a hyperactive monster emerges, and you wish you had read the sign. “Do Not Feed Sheena Chocolate.”

This lanky dude is THE man with THE stick. The stick that is always hard. The stick that is always long, that when he walks, it touches the ground. The stick that he holds all day. The stick that makes him look intelligent, suave and sexy than he ALREADY is. He means no harm; he has never hurt anybody with his stick. Not even a cat.

Of all things healthy, Mr. Soya is afraid of potatoes, especially when they bleed of tomato sauce. He is a master of sticks and balls. He wokes smeed. He is witty, sarcastic and more intellectual than the average Greek dude on a toilet.

This dude is cool, man. Tall, fair and handsome. He demonstrated, on me, how to lap dance! *melts* Isn’t he hot?

Like Gollum, she doesn’t like human food. Not even the lowest-common-denominator, fast food! She likes chicken feet and liver. Like Gollum, she is skinny. She counts things in plural. Her handphones. Her houses. Except, of course, that she does own aforementioned things in plural form!

Once upon a time, it was just her and me, newbies to pool, and one domineering teacher. We wanted to stab our teacher with our cue sticks when she wasn’t looking. It was both our first times, and I *ahem* was better at making contact with the white ball. Times have changed. She is now this legendary baller, and I enter balls only because I am the kai-ness.

She is so pink! One with such Michelle-Branch-ish complexion, such vast pink cheeks. Such understated rosiness. Such giggly enthusiasm. Such addictive irritateability.

She’s got the cutest button nose ever, the bestest manja stoned face, the bestest unskinny body, the most infectious laugh… but I do not love her. In fact I hate her guts, for she is the one to have taken my dear Syefri from me.

She is so smart, she makes me look stupid. You see? That sentence just now sounded stupid too. She is the sweetest-sounding negotiator ever. You see? I’m writing her another testimonial even though she hasn’t written me one. You see? How shameless.

Rarely will you ever meet such a young, sharp-tounged cynic. She’s sarcastic, but I guess you already know that, so why repeat what others have said? The dirt says she is sneaky and always up to mischief, but alas – people like her like to bust themselves. There was once she got me to find this dude at a certain house address near my place. There was once I held her phone as this guy came around, having never met her before. There was also this time she caught me in a moment of self-expression. She is also scarily wise and wordy beyond her age.

She’s cute, she’s round… headed, and she’s got the nicest voice ever. Like peppy and happy like Britney Spears her idol… oh wait, Spears was whiny. She’s got a strong opinion and the pizzazz. THE accent. The confidence that will knock you off and you will be all warm and fuzzy inside when she says hi. The warm and fuzzy hug-able-ness. She’s got a new haircut which doesn’t look as fluffy and mess-up-able, but it makes her look elegant.

She is sleepier than I am! How amazing is that? I imagine her snoozing away as kids jump on her balloon-like tummy. She is literally your worst enemy at foosball! However, don’t feel threatened by her kai-ness at pool or snooker or whatever it is. Yeah she has a nice house, nice phone, a funky sense of fashion… and there’s just something about her eyes that screams Martian.

This dude is super cool. He exudes the calmness of a taichi master. Sifu. Sensei. He looks so wise and aged! He sounds wise, too. Some say he is actually wise, but that would spoil all the fun we had on “Bang Fei Weekend”. The weekend ritual where we make fun of Fei to no end. Of course he’s sporting as heck. Oh, and he turns a rosy red. How beautiful!

I remember her! The one with long hair, done into braids. Major coolness. I can’t remember if we (and Wong Wei Li) were best friends in primary school, but we sat in front, in the middle of the class, with me in between both of them. They’d never let me pass and so I had to crawl under the table to get out. 🙁 In secondary school however, we disappeared to opposite ends of the school. 🙁

This buttslapping loveable sugarmommy is the cheekiest you will find in the land of Malaysia. She’s Malay but looks like some Indonesian/Filipino. She has the bengang face to complement my stoned sepuluh-sen face. I must thank her for introducing me to Incubus proper, and she must thank me for the many mix MP3 CDs I burnt for her. She calls people and recites textbooks. She calls people and strikes short conversations… with the people right next to her, while the other fella is still on the phone. She is loud and yet not irritating or obnoxious. She sounds like a mature old tree but you can peel off her emotional flakes. She deserves your love just like every other boring sweet nice gentle kind cute photogenic person.

She listens to Iron Maiden but she’s not evil; she’s a civil engineering genius. We built many towers together, out of only A4 paper! She’s the cuter one of the two sisters that everyone sees together.

This is the only place anyone shall ever know of this – I dreamt of her. Yes I did. She was a taxi driver. Why her and not any other colleague, I have no idea. I haven’t even been in her car! Perhaps it’s her unique voice that implants her in my head.

Mamat ini cool. It’s damnded funny that I always bump into him everywhere, event or not. We don’t even have each other’s numbers or instant messenger contacts or anything! (Well maybe a Friendster link and a blog link but we don’t like arrange to meet or anything!) It’s even more ironic that I’ve never ever gone to a gig with him performing in it. (Well I wanted to once, but it was at a gay bar, you know…) Am I so lucky as to have seen him a few times without a guitar on his back? Anyway, this dude is the bees’ knees. He is rightfully the cheeseist, corniest joker there is! Beware the signboards, he has the wackiest imagination ever. Oh, and he’s the best person to look for if your gang has been scattered in a crowd.

What defines Fin better than “the definder of kittens”? You shall find her feeding those lazy kittens the unfinished food from our table. Contrary to her testimonial on me, I shall not step on her; she is far too cute.

Shannon is pretty… evil. Shannon makes evil faces when she smiles. Shannon wants to roll people off the LRT and laugh as they fall hopelessly down into the road. Shannon is an academic geek. Shannon loves amilase enzymes. Her hand is full of them. If you don’t know what amilase enzymes are, just shake her hand. Shannon is full of holes. If you made a voodoo doll for Shannon, you’d have to poke a metal brush through it before she hurts. Shannon is a show-off. Jason Lo bought Shannon a drink. Riiight.

I don’t understand why she keeps calling herself a TEDDY bear when in fact she looks like a KOALA bear. Well at least she’s evil. She drives fast and furiously. So what if she gets in an accident? She’d just climb up and masquerade, even on a kampung road on a banana tree. She wouldn’t peel banana skins to make passerbys fall; that wouldn’t be worthy of her sadistic self.

He likes girls, and welcomes the company of men (not boys). He comes up with the cheekiest cheesiest corniest lines. He is more successful than the mild-mannered, somewhat-pasty-faced, bespectacled lecturer and boss/journalist pimp daddy he is. Do not be fooled by his sometimes shy voice – he has two hotlines! “That means I’m twice as hot,” he’d say.

She’s seventy seven on seventeen and seventeen on seventeen o one. She laughs like Scooby Doo you’d do too if you had a clue that once upon times really she was nasty to cats originally. She shall moon and you shall swoon like a goon to her tune. She shall sing and you won’t blink till phones ring for the studio recording. She does reports plays sports guards the forts for her cohorts. She will organize prioritize and hypnotize with her doe eyes with shrewd hair snips, pouty lips and sloping hips your heart rips rolling out your ribcage you’d be in terminal stage. Alas she is not my kind of girl, mine would be in pink and be glutteral.

He is funny. He’s got a sexy voice and he looks rather cute for a metalhead. Rest assured, he doesn’t need piercings; he’s got heavy metal in his blood! I just wish he’d give Black Sabbath proper homage and listenage.

Why is this dude so familiar? He looks like Rudy the host… NO, not that. He appears on Xfresh TV… No, not that. By dusk, he is Ramona the Queen Of The Night! Can you imagine how lucky you would be to be picked up by Ramona, with her boomy cigarette-roughed voice? Damn, she can sing. She can damn well sound Scottish too on Kilt Night! Okay I better stop as he is a nice guy who sends me home. Beat him for top frag and get an orgasm.

Her Yellow Chinese name is Corinne Kong. Her Red Indian name is Warm Paw.

I don’t know how many hours of sleep she gets, but she sure as heck as energy to rattle on about politics and other stuff she holds opinions on (which is about anything) for an otherwise sleepy breakfast. It goes on for a while, although she goes 10 paragraphs a minute, but hey we (or at least I) I don’t mind, because of the facial expressions she throws in. SOOO CUUUTE!!! You (or at least I) have always wanted to reach out and just PINCH THOSE AUNTY/UNCLE-ATTRACTING CHEEKS in the middle of a conversation (or rather a speech that we attend at a lunch table), but that would be rude, and you’d know what she’d do. She’d make that irritated face and point at you. Which is well, more cute than irritated. If I had a shirt pocket, I’d put her in it.

Hello. If you are a future employer and are looking up her background, let me personally assure you have made the right choice. She’s hardworking: “Is it still lunch break? I don’t wanna get fired.” I’m like, “Chill lah it’s only been 15 minutes.” She’s inquisitive: “How do you fill this up?” “What did she say?” “HUH?” She’s healthy: “I’m still hungry lah.” At least you know she won’t fall asleep on the job from not eating. Oh and despite her proper-sized portions, she’s not fat. Hmmm. Start a movement, girl. “Proper-sized portions for proper-sized proportions.”

This sugarcoated duhvnat is an inspiration to the bleak world of today to be… happy! I have become a bouncing bubbly cartoon since she touched me. Oh wait, you’d say, for people who know that I am stoned… it just means I need a spliff of maypine. You know, the sweet beef. The purple(-haired) blaze. Maypine is 21. Maypine is legal in Malaysia, bless our country. Roll out your papers and she’ll light you up instead.

Them: “Eh where did Miriam go?” Me: “Oh she went to drink. Damn German Indians.” Them: “What? We thought she was Pakistani!” This German Indian may be a lean mean drinking machine, but wait till you see how she spills drinks that have YET to be spiked. 🙂 She has a unique German Indian accent, or Indian German accent, but whatever it is both accents compliment each other damn well. Yeah, I dig the way her tongue rolls the words out. Bloody cool. Plus I’d never heard anything like it before… until I heard this Nepalese reporter on Star World ironically reporting about someone going to Germany! Oh and sadly, this hardened rocker is not as free as she used to be, ever since she STOPPED working at a major publication.

I miss this donkey (and his donkey laugh.) CRAZY FART. When we are combined our age is halved. He is a CLASSIC. He was the former GM of Xfresh – he’d come in at whatever time. Where would he be? On the way. The limbo. He is cursed to bad luck with public transport, but there was this time he lost two Nokia 3310s and a digicam, and he found a camera phone! What luck. His old porcupine hair could burst into fire. A few dinosaurs died to make that oil slick back then; thank goodness he now sees the light and has fluffy hair. His mouth bursts on fire with Nando’s.His shoes DON’T burst on fire when he’s finding yet another rail to ‘soap’ on. His opponents die from his fire in whatever computer game he’s in. If you do not understand this testimonial, you are a boring person, and you need to meet Wong Kok Jen. He will put the EXTREME in you, and you will thank him for that.

I never got round to writing this fine lass(ie) a testimonial since she’d always be online, and I’d rack up chat logs. There is just too much to say that I have to refer to chat logs. Anyway. She rocks with her electric guitar and excellent (though questionable at times) rock picks. She rocks me too. Original somemore. Pity that she’s stuck in [missing?] She bears with my nonsense (and actually understands it!) She rocks. Literally. With a Peavey. If only she’d join me in my illegal collection of music.

Happy Birthday! May you be old enough to touch my tralala!

See also:
My Friendster Testimonials!
(Testimonials that friends wrote for me.)

Tweetyear 2012

Here’s just a bit more than a year’s worth of Twitter posts, that do not include Tweets just notifying of a blog entry. The reason why I don’t like Twitter or any external content-storing site other than my blog is because there is always that risk that the content you have on whichever site will become inaccessible someday.

From 4th January 2005, Songwriters Avenue 2: @rezasalleh @Pheroxia
1st July

I get similarly confused after reading about GIT:
1st July

@hikkichan don’t suppose you’re in the inner circle to get an early look at it? I like the idea of a public jukebox.
30 Jun

RM4810 for a double neck acoustic! Spotted at CK Music. @azsamad
30 Jun

Google IO 2012 Keynote, Day 2 starts in less than 10 minutes! @smashpop
29 Jun

RT ‏@Kamigoroshi Let me get this straight. Google is building an AI and integrate us with technology. I welcome becoming Borg with open arms. #googleio
28 Jun

RT ‏@tenoq Congratulations, Google. Now all the tech companies will call you scumbag.
28 Jun

RT ‏@Grg They told Sergey Brin he could be anything, so he decided to be Tony fucking Stark.
28 Jun

@gtp_roadmap I take urban public transport and would like a TT session. Not in Putrajaya though.
27 Jun

God prefers atheists.
27 Jun

1 Juta Rakyat Malaysia Menyokong Kepimpinan DS Najib ada soalan ditujukan kepada anda, rakyat Malaysia!
26 Jun

Pretty intense.
26 Jun

Pemuda UMNO Malaysia has a question for you, fellow Malaysians!
26 Jun

crap Plume swallowed the attachment. @KayKayster @lynfunkstar @lslex
26 Jun

hay there.
26 Jun

Whoa, spitting image of his dad!
26 Jun

An Iranian made me a sandwich with spicy chicken ham. Dang it was good!
25 Jun

Ini kawan motiofixo dengan fixie. @smashpop @jennihsurf @ramesstudios
25 Jun

I took the bait, but I have reservations about the completeness: @Pheroxia
25 Jun

@rezasalleh hence you gotta alternate 3 Hiew pins with 3 Guild pins. 😀
25 Jun

@rezasalleh yup but before you go get the Hiew’s neck fixed and get a bridge pin, you’ll have one fully strung and functional guitar!
24 Jun

@rezasalleh fffuuuuuu! Transplant the bridge pins from the Hiew to the 1st, 3rd and 5th string bridge pin of the Guild. #inb4hipster
24 Jun

crap I forgot the attachment @logesh8 @krackiesmoke @amirazrael
24 Jun

Seriously, cool story bro!
24 Jun

finally got to see a Mustang with my eyes! @logesh8 @krackiesmoke @amirazrael
22 Jun

I’ve set this as my ringtone, hoping that I WILL grow a fro from continuous exposure. @duuuhvina
21 Jun

@jfkjohan @paultantk oh man, we just need to railgun you to hear it! Somemore the way you say it is damn funny.
21 Jun

RT @dustyhawk: LOL RT @jason_mraz: The rules for tonight’s show. #fb
19 Jun

@SherylGSh no shiet.
19 Jun

Baru jer memberi maklumat ke @PDRMsia kat KL Sentral tentang penyeluk saku. Harap maklumat dapat membantu! @gtp_roadmap
19 Jun

@bulfog yes that’s what the Facebook comments say, that tickets are running out.
19 Jun

@bulfog then you better get tickets quick: @Pheroxia
19 Jun

What I did for Father’s Day: Helped secure the ladder for my dad to climb up the ceiling to fix the water tank and pass a wrench and torch.
18 Jun

@gtp_roadmap I’d hope so. @ktmkomuter tweeted to inform of delays/disruptions for 15 out of 31 days from May 19 to June 18 2012.
18 Jun

@gtp_roadmap I’ll take your word on the KTM and crime rate, but I am still shit scared of taking the KTM. Do you take public transport?
18 Jun

@gtp_roadmap on 9 June 2012 KTM was delayed over 30 mins. Later that day somebody tried to pickpocket me as I got on a KTM (late 15 mins).
18 Jun

@imokman wow your memory power! This was where I got the book:
15 Jun

@tenoq thanks! Yes they sold it here at XL-Shop Midvalley.
15 Jun

Vegan Black Metal Chef! @duuuhvina @adlinrosli @yungkhang
15 Jun

Don’t call yourself a bass slut unless you’ve played for more than the 38 bands/artistes that @Aldo_Tan has played for. #PrayForAldaEvanTan
14 Jun

Damn I can’t transfer the monthly pass or existing credit from my old Touch N Go which I lost although I have the last reload receipt.
12 Jun

RT ‏@1Obefiend since Jobs died it is harder for people to swallow the Apple propaganda. Its like when Madey stepped down Msian stop believing MSM
12 Jun

RT ‏@1Obefiend What no support for Bahasa Bumiputera on SIRI? They instead support mandarin n cantonese.Ini menghina namanya! #Perkasa #ibrahimAli
12 Jun

@mrkenhong er nope I am not. 🙁
11 Jun

Hi @flizzow can I use your picture of Alda on my blog entry here? Will link back and credit. 🙂
11 Jun

RT ‏@KayKayster He fought a great battle & he did not lose bcos much good came out of it. Not saying goodbye Alda, but See you again soon.
11 Jun

RT ‏@zaradevlin Dear friends & family, @Aldo_Tan’s funeral service will be held on Thursday, 14th June 2012, 10am at St Ignatius Church, Kelana Jaya.
11 Jun

Call me judgemental, but I initially had a feeling about this judge based on previous cases. Guess I was wrong.
11 Jun

@KayKayster @CollinCCH @aldo_tan if girl how? Evangeline?
11 Jun

Rest in peace @Aldo_Tan. I’ll see you at the wake service at St. Ignatius – seems to be the only reason I go there… #PrayForAldaEvanTan
11 Jun

@yungkhang those in Kota Bharu, Kelantan have gotta be the winner. @avrilchan @kamigoroshi Makes me wanna support their stall just because!
10 Jun

Saw a Malay lady with tudung selling nasi lemak at a Chinese kopitiam. There is hope for Malaysia after all!
10 Jun

@ktmkomuter awas penyeluksaku@ KL Sentral KTM pltfm5. Mamat tinggi baju biru cerah belang putih, beg hitam. Tangan dekat poket I, x naik KTM
9 Jun

@ktmkomuter lewat atau tak jalan langsung? Tengah tunggu di Segambut KTM ke KL.
9 Jun

@ArlyneK here’s where you can get involved in making sure elections are clean:
8 Jun

ordered at Rock Corner 1U RM21.90. @olied @chapree @yungkhang @jalijan @amirazrael
6 Jun

RT ‏@syazwinasaw Amazingly ironic when lackeys, who support any government’s decision to opress its people, fawn all over Aung San Suu Kyi. You KIDDING me?
1 Jun

Just realized that the mysteriously banked-in money 3 weeks ago was my tax return!
6 Jun

@EwinEe didn’t go as I had other plans and the average speedcuber solves cubes in half my time. Only my 11x11x11 at 40:34 is competitive.
6 Jun

@zekezakarberg I am back! @hikkichan been trying to call you – Alda got pneumonia and is in critical condition now.
6 Jun

Can’t decide which blows my mind more:


4 Jun

Glam rock = rock kangkang. Punk rock = rock bangkang.
3 Jun

#1MPadbenefit the 10

Tweetyear 2011

Here’s nearly a year’s worth of Twitter posts, that do not include Tweets just notifying of a blog entry. The reason why I don’t like Twitter or any external content-storing site other than my blog is because there is always that risk that the content you have on whichever site will become inaccessible someday.

On to the bandwidth barrage!

@lynfunkstar so it was like “I’m on a BLEAARUHHHGRH!”
27 Jun

@tenoq but then the road didn’t move under me!
27 Jun

@randomleech @mrkenhong reinstalled Jazz Jackrabbit 2 and had a blast! I spent too many hours in the Jazz Creation Station making maps. 😀
27 Jun

I’m so 1337 I reinstated a shirt button with a staple.
26 Jun

color coordination at a Chinese coffee shop! Kudos to the details.

25 Jun

@AbgSyuk @onggon dunno man ask Azam? I have no wireless radio triggers because I prefer to use Sony’s optical wireless flash system. 😀
23 Jun

Quake turned 15 years old. But I remember another youthful pastime – Jazz Jackrabbit!
23 Jun

@soya_cincau @benjern guess what we can now buy paid apps from Android Market on WiFi-only tablets or phones without SIM cards!
23 Jun

@dianalian who the chick in the video yo?
20 Jun

FFFFFUUUUUUUU RT @craziqbal #awakcomeltapi awak couple ngan pengkid..
20 Jun

This morning I saw a chicken cross the road. It probably asked why, too, and regretted it, as it scampered back.
20 Jun

@liyanafizi eh! Craft Bakers is just a few floors down from where I work! Just had their pastries for breakfast.
17 Jun

Home Screen turn on! (No it’s not a Google TV…) @amirazrael @mrkenhong @smashpop @chapree

12 Jun

@benjern Volume Up as shutter is cool but it makes my pictures dark!

10 Jun

Okay I have to admit the Volume Up as shutter is handy but my picture is dark! @yauhui

7 Jun

iPrefix iS iMportant iN iGniting iNtense iNfatuation
7 Jun

RT @alkarim go Google Apps- cross platform service that will work with businesses that give employees choice OR go Apple and isolate people #greatwork
7 Jun

RT @howtogeek: Only Apple could have an entire keynote where they talk about copying features from Android.
7 Jun

5 of the 11 iOS devices won’t get iOS 5.
7 Jun

@L0rDKadaj no just checking Engadget. @chapree for Android there’s Thumb Keyboard 4.0!
7 Jun

I believe the option to Clear All notifications on iOS 5 is by shaking the phone. C’mon try it! If it doesn’t work, shake harder!
7 Jun

RT @chapree Hello Apple users, welcome to the world of non-intrusive notifications enjoyed by Android users for far too long. #wwdc
7 Jun

Sorry geeks, but 22 minutes into E3 and WWDC keynotes, and JUSTIN BIEBER STILL WINS ALL.
7 Jun

RT @ackPrash Theres an Apple event today, get ready to rediscover all the new technology of the past 2 years being rehashed as new and magical
7 Jun

@sarchan OHC lah.
6 Jun

@amirazrael @mrkenhong like a trollercoaster waiting on top of a hill!
6 Jun

Can’t wait to be trolling and rolling. It would be bad form to do so based on rumors, so I gotta wait. 🙁 @amirazrael @mrkenhong
6 Jun

@tenoq @linkinstreet finally get it after reading past tweets. Proceed at heavily discounted price. Europe is notorious for pickpockets!
6 Jun

@ShaolinTiger indeed! The place is langouriously and deceptively big.
6 Jun

@lslex until now not announced though Gil Scott Heron was HIV-positive.
6 Jun

@tenoq @linkinstreet also the later models mentioned all have infrared and wired remote support. The A500 and A550 don’t shoot video though.
4 Jun

@tenoq @linkinstreet the A350 has 2.5fps instead of the A200 at 3fps and is noisier with a smaller OVF. Better for LV: A33


Here’s over a year’s worth of Twitter posts, which I have not repeated on my blog. The reason why I don’t like Twitter or any external content-storing site other than my blog is because there is always that risk that the content you have on whichever site will become inaccessible someday.

Okay, so I’ve ranted about this before!

In other updates, I’ve had a Sony Alpha NEX-5 and Sony E 16mm F2.8 since 1st July 2010 and a Sony LA-EA1 A-mount to E-mount lens adapter since 3rd July 2010 and no time to blog about it, or even to blog about the Sony Alpha 290, Sony Alpha 390, Sony Handycam NEX-VG10 HD interchangeable lens camcorder (the model name almost sounds like a NEX vertical grip heh!) Oh and the fantastic X-Rite ColorChecker Passport.

Anyway, here goes:

RT @randomleech A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells u the time.
about 2 hours ago via HTC Peep

LHC: Where the hole is not the center of the donut, but the donut itself. @kimberleylow
4:43 PM Jul 12th via web

ZOMG one reason to stare at my phone and wait for invite! RT: @smashpop Google App Inventor Build ur own app
3:51 PM Jul 12th via web

Swype FTW! Just got it installed on my Android phone yo.
9:44 PM Jul 10th via HTC Peep

RT @smashpop Google App Helps Find Open Parking Sadly no car, no reception + GPS weak at parking, QR code 404
9:39 PM Jul 10th via HTC Peep

Marty Friedman and Kerry King on Japanese TV Show (Kerry played in Megadeth and Pantera…)
4:52 PM Jul 10th via web

Marty Friedman vs Paul Gilbert on Japanese TV Show Part 2! @KevBrokenScar
4:51 PM Jul 10th via web

Michael Patton does Michael Jackson! Faith No More – Ben @jalijan @olied
Jul 5th via web

@lydiakwan right next to your rock kapak. 🙂
Jul 5th via HTC Peep in reply to lydiakwan

Banned iPad Promo
Jul 5th via web

@adlysyairi Holy! Sweeeeeetness. Now that I have a radio-enabled phone again I have tuned in. 😀
July 05, 2010 via web in reply to adlysyairi

I haven’t figured out screenshots yet. Seperti!

Saturday, July 03, 2010 5:43:55 PM via HTC Peep

@crazystrat I did tweet from my Nokia N70; I used Opera though so the client was not given away. Most quips come then.
Saturday, July 03, 2010 5:25:15 PM via HTC Peep

I had a revelation; people who know how to use semicolons are sexy.

Saturday, July 03, 2010 1:52:33 PM via web

Saucy Android makes your food taste better!
Friday, July 02, 2010 4:52:19 PM via HTC Peep

From the NEX Mass Order.
Thursday, July 01, 2010 12:31:51 PM via HTC Peep

@duuuhvina as Zac De La Rocha would say, sleep now in the fire.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 3:12:47 AM via HTC Peep in reply to duuuhvina

My first ever status update on Facebook! I join the horde of publicized pointlessness.
Saturday, June 26, 2010 11:15:25 PM via HTC Peep

Check out @duuuhvina the B.player intro video girl on your iPhone 3gs using the B.player app! #astrobplayer
Thursday, June 24, 2010 4:50:16 PM via web

@kBoey: No it is not sold separately, unfortunately. @bryanlyt I will give you a call tomorrow night!

Monday, June 21, 2010 12:53:39 AM via web

@shannzilla I will visit your crib when you have one!

Monday, June 21, 2010 12:25:27 AM via web

@Digi_Telco Any news on a SmartPlan for a phone that is going to be launched in one week from now in Malaysia?

Thursday, May 20, 2010 1:04:16 AM via web

@fritzgoh @chapree @hitomi5 @bluegemini I was at Harith Iskander’s restaurant, SamSaraa, in Sri Hartamas!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010 1:26:26 AM via web

Harith Iskander was my waiter; he just took my order.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:39:24 PM via mobile web

Flash on the Nexus One! @smashpop
Wednesday, May 12, 2010 10:37:36 AM via web

Blendtec owns iPad!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010 12:14:05 PM via web

What’s NEX? Sony’s EVIL!
Monday, April 26, 2010 7:13:16 PM via mobile web

I always feel like the Wright brothers when they finally take off, whenever I manage to load my washing machine so the dryer spins properly.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010 11:17:14 PM via web

Man I remember this. A B-movie I remember vividly from my childhood!
Wednesday, April 07, 2010 10:58:19 AM via web

@ganaeshd yeah man VIP room yo!
Wednesday, April 07, 2010 10:58:05 AM via web

Sweet! I remember being hooked to this TV series with Christopher Lloyd in a white… Cadillac?
Tuesday, April 06, 2010 11:40:41 AM via web

RT: TammyLynn_17
RT @jonreed: following Ricky Martin’s shock announcement, Obama has just revealed that he is black, and the Pope that he is Catholic.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 7:17:29 AM via TweetDeck Retweeted by you and 2 others

Way beyond Augmented Reality – your skin is a touchscreen!
Friday, March 26, 2010 6:07:23 PM via web

Meanwhile, Down Under:
Wednesday, March 10, 2010 4:37:21 PM via web

RT: altimet
RT @modaismail: #memorisekolah fungsi buku matematik adalah untuk bermain ‘conquer’..tidak lebih dari itu..

Wednesday, March 10, 2010 3:02:17 PM via SocialScope Retweeted by you and 2 others

RT: tanyeehou
This is good! RT @timothyteoh: New post: Proof: Jakim Creates Online Poll on Caning Controversy, then Cheats w Results

Wednesday, March 10, 2010 12:56:14 PM via TweetDeck Retweeted by you

“When a young man shaved, he might be invited to sodomy by men.” –
Wednesday, March 10, 2010 11:19:18 AM via web

Wow, Iommi harmonic bends and lotsa cowbell!
Tuesday, March 09, 2010 1:10:32 PM via Posterous

@jasiminne zippers make sexier sounds than velcro!
Tuesday, March 09, 2010 1:39:03 AM via web

Where’s Fallout Boy?
Monday, March 08, 2010 10:29:54 AM via web

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
Monday, March 08, 2010 10:29:46 AM via web

#yorais so behind he finally got on the Internet. First thing he typed: ASL?
Saturday, February 27, 2010 10:28:44 PM via mobile web

@MyRapidKL U7/U11 seems to alternate Medan Pasar/Lebuh Ampang weekly. Inconsistent and frustrating! Wait @ wrong stop and see bus speed off!
Friday, January 29, 2010 10:21:11 AM via web

ONLY the human eye focuses faster!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 2:06:00 PM via web

More depressing than being active, giving hugs and greetings or being passive, who won’t, is that I am reflective – defined by my company.
Monday, January 25, 2010 7:13:59 PM via mobile web

Sukar untuk #yorais membayar *tukar mode* parking *tukar mode* kerana mesin tidak menerima pohon pitis, kupang, jokoh atau jongkong buaya.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 1:35:37 AM via web

#yorais is so old when he walks into a coffeeshop filled with white-haired uncles he asks, “do your parents know where you are?”
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 12:52:14 AM via web

#yorais will find out about this tomorrow on Beriteks News.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 12:39:55 AM via web

Before there was politics #yorais founded paleolithic, mesolithic and neolithic parties.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010 9:09:59 PM via mobile web

RT: shanonshah
Rais is so ancient he once asked Socrates, “Kenapa you ni suka tanya banyak soalan?” #yorais

Tuesday, January 19, 2010 6:35:23 PM via web Retweeted by you and 9 others

RT: TerencetheSUN
FB groups: Protest against the word “Allah” for Non Muslims 547 membrs; We support the use of the name Allah by all Malaysians 71


God bless you Din Beramboi, may you rest in peace. I have always wanted to someday bump into you at Astro and thank you for teaching me English like “cat crossed the road” but I guess that won’t happen. 🙁

This has to be my utmost favorite Din Beramboi skit. Even Harith Iskander and Joanna Bessey are having a hard time trying to keep a straight face!

This one is a bit long but worth the wait for the punchlines!

This is one of the better known Ah-Ha songs – Ah Long Bukit Beruntung!

This one doesn’t have Din Beramboi but hey I don’t remember this.

I haven’t heard you on radio because… well, I don’t have a radio. Still, you won’t be forgotten!

Kumpulan Yang Wajib Disertai

Silakan menyertai kumpulan Mukabuku ini:
Menentang Penggunaan Bedak Sejuk Oleh Org Yg Tak Suka Black Metal

Di samping apa yang diperjuangkan oleh kumpulan di atas:

Saya amat menentang penggunaan bedak sejuk oleh penggemar MLTR! MLTR tidak menyanyi tentang pengajaran metal dan paling sekali, tidak TRUE!

Saya juga menentang penggunaan perkataan “TRUE”, iaitu bermaksud “taat kepada pengajaran metal” walaupun ianya digunakan dalam Bahasa Inggeris (Bahasa Penjajah dan Bahasa Pendatang) yang bermaksud “benar”. Perkataan “TRUE” patut khas untuk penganut ajaran metal sahaja.

Dikatakan bahawa perkataan “TRUE” sebenarnya diwujudkan di sekitar 1985 dan menjadi singkatan “Terlalu Rancak Untuk Ella”. Bahasawanya mana-mana jenis muzik yang terlalu rancak oleh dibawakan ratu batu Ella, boleh dikira sebagai black metal.

#yorais the trend!

#yorais is so ancient, Twitter is not able to produce the older tweets! So much for going all the way to the first one started supposedly around 4pm or so.

Oh wait, here it is!
Transcript for #yorais – What the Hashtag?!

And these are my contributions to helping #yorais get on the trend (albeit a bit late to see it hit #3 and drop off the list.)

  • Before there was politics #yorais founded paleolithic, mesolithic and neolithic parties.
  • #yorais will find out about this tomorrow on Beriteks News.
  • #yorais is so old when he walks into a coffeeshop filled with white-haired uncles he asks, “do your parents know where you are?”
  • Sukar untuk #yorais membayar *tukar mode* parking *tukar mode* kerana mesin tidak menerima pohon pitis, kupang, jokoh atau jongkong buaya.

That makes our dear eloquent Rais Yatim cool in my book for two things – making it into the Top #3 trends in Twitter, and having a Sony Alpha 900. Now I just got to find that picture of him again…

Interestingly, it seems that using humor is a surefire way to being retweeted. Such that it even beat Haiti for a while. Yes, we Malaysians brought a minister higher up than a earthquake of epic porportions!