The Dot Masterplan

This blog entry will forever change your view of me. Of course, if you are used to my weird quirks, this will lessen the shock.

One fine day I was window-shopping in a popular shopping mall when my eyes noticed a huge influx of pretty ladies. (Yes, I am horny, and I do look.) Probably 2 in 5 females caught my eye. What a bountiful to wash my eyes with! :O

Anyway, I wanted to be able to track the trend. How? By counting them! At the end of my window-shopping session, I would take the number as an indication to how fair the weather was.

Of course, it would be too hassling to count and keep the number in my head, so I would have the assistance of my trusty handphone. Yep, that’s right – a handphone can be used as a count keeper!

Keeping Count

The system I devised uses dots while writing a text message. The more eye-catchers, the more dots, and so the more score for the day.

I’ve only tried it with my Nokia 3315. How?

Start counting with a Nokia:
1) Unlock the keypad (if it’s locked).
2) Press the softkey to access the Menu, select Messages, and then Write Messages.
3) Press Options, select Dictionary (if available) and then English.

You can now press the 1 key to type a dot. Even if you press lots of 1s in a row, it will still show as a dot, not any other character. Cool huh?

The Dots Score Awarding System:

If the face is physically attractive, you press one dot.



If the body is physically attractive, again, you press one dot.



Therefore, if both the face and the body is physically attractive, you press two dots in total.



Do not over-award anybody. Only a maximum of two dots can be awarded to anybody. Even if you know the person in real life (or that person is your special someone!) you do not give extra points. Period. (Or dots, if you prefer. 😛 ) Personality does not count – this is a totally superficial exercise. Go on about your ‘beauty comes from the inside‘ mantra, but let it go if you go counting dots! 🙂

Counting the total:
You can either count it manually or take the maximum size of the message and subtract total characters used. Nokia’s character subtracts from 459 or 160 characters, depending on the make of your phone. On the top-right corner, if you see 459/1, 459 is the leftover character count.

Leftover characters after typing dots: 387
Leftover characters in a blank message: 459
Total number of dots = Leftover characters in a blank message – leftover characters after typing dots
Total number of dots = 459 – 387 = 72 dots

Now divide the number by two to get your total number of physically attractive people you saw! 🙂

72 dots / 2 = 36 people

On an average 2-hour trip, I can get around 300 dots. On a school holiday (or a 4-hour walkabout), I can get 400-500. If I’m at a shopping mall all day, I can get over a thousand! (I kid you not, I record the numbers in messages.) Sometimes, however, for some unknown reason I see nothing worth counting on 1-hour trips.

Fun things you can do with friends

That’s right – it’s not a loner’s game! Your friend can do it, too! If you’re both heterosexual guys, you can go about doing whatever guys do in shopping malls, and on your way, count dots. Be honest. If you’re the one with the lower dot count, it could be said that you have a higher definition of what is physically attractive. It sure beats wolf-whistling!

If you’re a guy hanging out with a girl with absolutely nothing to do, you should go count dots for hot females. Meanwhile, she counts the guys. Again, be honest. You can then find out if there are more good-looking guys or good-looking girls in any one place. You can also access the threshold, whether it’s true that there are more good-looking girls than good-looking guys (or girls’ tastes are higher.)

The ultimate challenge, however, is to count dots for members of the same sex. That means being a heterosexual guy and counting guys. If the guy-dot-count is higher than a girl-dot-count, then you’re either in a bad place or you may have deviated preferences. 😛

Why you should dot

It’s fun to be able to quantify the number of attractive people you see! It’s also a great way to cure boredom. Just sit down at a coffee house, looking classy, poking your handphone and looking busy, when the passer-bys don’t know how incredibly bored you are! =]

Plus, if you have a cool-looking handphone, it adds to the busy look. Heh. On the other hand, you could be a geek (which is highly unlikely considering the density and penentration of handphones in urban areas).


After accumulating over a thousand dots over a month, I noticed that:
– girls with pretty faces often have relatively well-off bodies, ranging from medium to small
– shapely bodies from behind may have not-so-interesting faces
– porportion-wise, there are more girls with bigger hips than busts than bigger busts than hips
– Asian girls are mostly shorter and underweight; there are more skinny ones than there are fat ones, and more short ones than there are tall ones
– I like medium frames best, but find small frames appealing as well
– I have a wide scope and high tolerance, and I’m not that picky
– my pickiness decreased as I learnt to appreciate all shapes and sizes, after loads of observation

I hereby finish my sermon. Now go in peace, and go count dots! (I tell you, someday, this will be a popular trend, and the ultimate tribute would be for me to be dotted. 😉 )

P.S. Please please reply to my post with your findings. Include your dot counts as well! Suggestions on how to improve the system are welcome. What I don’t need is people telling me I have no life (I already know that!)

3 thoughts on “The Dot Masterplan

  1. Albert Ng Post author

    I accidentally deleted the comments for this one. Oh wait, I accidentally deleted everything and restored everything but the comments. Which does not mean that you should not comment. You should. Comment! I’ve got 4566 dots over 3 months. How about you?

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