Monthly Archives: March 2005

The Art Of Social Bluffing

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Bluffing, in this case, is not “eh are you bluffing me?” but the art of pretending to look smarter than you are.

Case 1

Ever bumped into a familiar person and forgot his/her name? No problem!

You: What’s up duuude?
(Name has been withheld from lousy memory): Heyyy!
You: How’ve you been?

You then go into conversation, as if you greeted the person by name. Well even if you don’t remember their name, you remember where you’ve met them and what you’ve done together, right?

Whatever you do, do not start with:

You: Heyyyyy I know you! (This line just reeks of “I forgot your name!“-ness.)

It’s even easier when you’re with a friend. Do not introduce them to each other – let them introduce themselves. Then, as you go on separate paths, you say, “See ya (name withheld)!”

Case 2

A person is looking at you with that expression that says that you’re familiar, but you don’t recognize him/her.

You: Heyyy! Do I know you from somewhere? (Yes, get his/her hopes up and act.)
(Person who thinks you’re familiar): Er yeah! I know you from…
You: Oh sorry, I don’t go to/I don’t hang out at/I’m not into… (That’s your exit line.)
(Person embarrassed): Oops sorry, wrong person then.

By then he/she would have walked away, embarrassed.

Case 3

You recognize the person, but you’re not sure that it’s him/her.

You: Heyyy! Do I know you from somewhere? (Pretend that you’re sure it’s him/her.)

There are two cases:

(Familiar person): Yeah! I know you from… (You should rejoice and know what to do then.)

The second case:

(Familiar person): Er… no?
You: Oops sorry, wrong person then.

Do not run off embarrassed.

Whatever it is, do not greet the familiar person by name. Don’t go, “Heyyy aren’t you (insert wrong name)?” If it’s not him/her, you will look like a fool.

Poe, Sir?

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I am inspired by the morbidness of the blog entries of late of my linkees. And so, here goes a poseur attempt:

So am I going to make a move? Is a move going to displace me? If I am displaced, have I fallen off the ladder? Am I supposed to climb up or down? Do I even know where to go?

I’ll take the stairs instead. It’s easier to sit on stair steps than on a ladder. I’m not an acrobat. I may bend, but I am not trained to fall… gracefully. In which case I think it is best I stay sitting. I might even block people from going up or down the stairs. Why, why must you go up or down? Aren’t you happy where you are?

I sit here, not knowing where to go. Some sit because they’re lazy, or tired. The important thing is, we’re both sitting here on the stairs, yes?

If this is how I shall wilter my life away, I’d wish I was dead. Or a zombie. Being undead would be cool. It’s like playing pool and potting the black ball, but continuing to play anyway. The fun is there, but the meaning is gone. Balls.

Unlike those with the formulas, I wish not to control. I wish as far as to know the outcome. For being in control means knowing the outcome and controlling it. I shall not be that ambitious.

I need feedback. Am I doing well? Am I alright? Sometimes, confidence really is what you need to get the right angle. You’ve got to put your heart and soul in it. You’ve got to bend over, vulnerably. Finally, hit it firmly and don’t withdraw. Worry about misplacing and losing later.

You want everything? I do too. Aren’t we part of everything? Everything is the universal set. By such logic, we are in each others’ set. We are a set. In theory.

*snaps into a Keanu Reeves expression or lack thereof*

This is like totally.

This blog entry was inspired by recent events, but not in any way reflective of anything. (I do hope it’s not misconstrued either…) I just needed to feel better by increasing the general verbosity of my blog.