He Terror Textual

I got this message from a gay guy on Friendster:

I am just amazed by the size of your head. It is very impressive. Keep it up.

I don’t know why, but I giggled because it was so clever. I felt flattered!

Girls get hundreds of substandard, uncreative pickup lines from guys, of which maybe 5… might be good. I get one creative pickup line (uh, from a guy). Yes, that means I get only good pickup lines!

I didn’t reply him though, but if I did… I’d say:

You suck man.

The pink dollar is one to be respected.

I fix stuff. A gay guy probably has a tech savvy bonk mate. However, a lesbian’s mate is just as hopeless in fixing and parallel parking. Of which I have seen them try to exchange driver and front passenger seats without getting out of the car.

Cue Albert, who fixes and gets a free show.

The pink dollar is strong. They’re richer, be it the girl who goes for the money, or the guys who save on romantic dinners because they get straight to the point. Okay, not exactly straight, but you get my point.

Their love is so pure, so clear, so without pretense! They can be emotionally vulnerable while avoiding the friends trap that belies heterosexual courting!

I don’t shave often. Sorry girls, I look just a bit too good clean-shaved. If I shaved, it would be accompanied with a horse-legged limp.

What about Freddie Mercury, you may ask?

His thick moustache showed everyone WHO’S in charge. He called the shots. He woud kneel before noone!

Okay this is quite old, but so was this blog post which was saved on a text file for a very long time.


A CLEO Most Eligible Bachelor does the Rubik’s Cube! That’s right, he can solve one of those. He can also do rope jumps and splits. I can imagine a very McGuyver-ish moment where however unlikely, he will escape certain death with those three skills.

Oh, and Raj of Cornetto Love Perhaps Season 2 was also CLEO Bachelor #15.

Just earlier, I was in what felt like a Napoleon Dynamite moment, or at least how a camera would perceive it to be. A banal, inane scene. I stood queueing at a cash deposit machine where the people at the front were feeding it one note at a time. They told the rest of the queue that the machine was sensitive and so, I went for dinner. I came back to see somebody else also feeding it one note.

When it was my turn, I was fortunate that nobody was waiting. I tried all notes. All rejected. Two notes. Rejected. One note. Success!

When I was done, this guy came and I warned him about the machine.

Being a guy, he tried his luck anyway. Nope? Restack notes. Rejection! “It takes only one note at a time.” I told him. Reshuffle, realign notes. Nope? Flip them about. He kept trying his luck.

Ah, men.

Finally, how do you get a picture from me? If I’ve ever taken your picture, and you’ve ever tried to get it from me, you’d know I take forever because I don’t get on MSN anymore. However, Aaron Teoh did it well, in a very examplary manner. Thus, I’ll quote his email:

Hey dude, could you send me the picture you took of me? It looks good and i haven’t taken a decent picture in ages. Thanks man.

That’s right, that’s how you can ask Albert for your picture.

You could also be nice and wish me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I turned 24 today.

8 thoughts on “He Terror Textual

  1. Chen Post author

    someone’s random today. 😀

    happy birthday again!

    actually, there’s this budding (in)famous saying -> lesbians think friendship is another word for foreplay. 😛

  2. thegeekinpink Post author

    Hehe you suck man. Clever. I remembered you told me about that pickup line ages ago.

    Oh and a very happy birthday! 🙂

  3. Albert Ng Post author

    pinkpau: Thank you arrr!

    ShaolinTiger: Thanks! There’s also this thing where I actually turned 24 on Chinese New Year. I’m not sure about the technicalities.

    flysheep, tech, wombok: Thanks!

    thegeekinpink: Yeah, I checked and it was April!

    Chen: Thanks again. It’s gotta be random, being a collage of disjointed but apparently related topics.


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