I was in a magazine store when I saw the CLEO Most Eligible Bachelor 2008 edition.

As always, I made it a point to flip through and count how many dudes I knew (and multiply by 2% to get the percentage.) I knew less this round, maybe 12-16%. Just like the years before, the guys in here were relatively popular in their circles, some minor celebrities, some not-famous-at-all colleagues. Such that, I figured that I would eventually become a Most Eligible Bachelor myself, with the scene being as small as it is.

However, when I flipped through the pages, I became increasingly disturbed. Every guy in there looked more and more… beyond metrosexual. It was as if they had a facial and had their eyebrows plucked and drawn in a most androgynous manner.

A lot of them looked like Edwin Sumun!

(Not that I have anything against him, he’s hilarious and a riot on stage, but you do not flip through a magazine and expect to see Edwins of different colors and shapes.)

One particular dude who looked extra clean was Adam Lobo of Dragon Red! He looked like he shaved his beard and added foundation to his forehead. I called him up.

Me: DEIII Mr. Adam a most eligible bachelor! What happened man you sold out ah?
Adam: Haha nolah one day I got called up. Dunno why also, I told them that I look like I can eat children. But they still asked me to come anyway so I went.
Me: Did they make you shave and pluck your eyebrows or something? Do you really look like that now?
Adam: Aisey nolah they Photoshopped lah. It’s all Photoshop I didn’t look like that.

So there you have it from the cornroll-haired rocker. It’s Photoshop.

That explains why some of the bachelors have UNNATURALLY HUGE eyes, too.

So hey you Bachelor Photoshopper out there, stop mucking around with them eyes! Girls like men with squinty eyes too! (I have big eyes, but I feel sympathetic to my squinty-eyed friends.)

Now, given that bachelors get an enthusiastic facial that makes them far beyond fashionably metrosexual (if you know what I mean), I don’t think I secretly wish to happen to be a Most Eligible Bachelor anymore. 🙁

So what if I attempted to Photoshop myself to look like one of them?

Yeah, all Photoshopped in except my good looks. And the peacock is back! (Thanks Nic for taking this picture with his Sony Carl Zeiss 135mm F1.8.)