I feel like doing many things.

I feel like picking up Anthony Kiedis’ book, Scar Tissue. I saw it in Borders, picked it up, and read until my legs went numb. While standing. This man was a poet and he had the methods!

I feel like making some real gritty art.

I saw Marilyn Manson on a Channel V special, and Googled if he was married. Indeed he was, to burlesque superstar Dita Von Teese. And they’d break door hinges in loud hotel romps.

Apparently, she never failed to turn him on. And yet, he had an affair with Evan Rachel Wood. He also says she wasn’t supportive of his lifestyle (I suppose, the drugs.) He was a painter. He directed a movie. His artwork was bought by quite a few, including Anthony’s bassist, Flea. Watch any other rock band these days and you see some pu–y video where they are standing around in a studio (or hangar). I believe all of Nickelback’s videos are shot in such fashion.

At the same time, I tell myself that I have no time to make art. Making art needs a setup. You can’t just Photoshop your way to everything.

Speaking of Flea, I’d been enqueuing Red Hot Chili Peppers – Show Me Your Soul into my Winamp playlist every now and then.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are my inspiration in more ways than one. See how Flea bobs his head? That’s how I bob my head when I’m playing air-bass to some bass-popping song. Heck, that’s how a lot of bassists bob their heads. There’s also that thing Anthony does with his hand (poking the air, but you know what it is… right?)

And yes, the song has got the cure to fever, it’s got a lot of cowbell!

Oh and Flea also appears in James Brown – Sex Machine. Flea’s distinctive head bob appears in 1:51-2:03. And there’s “take it to the bridge” which isn’t a Timbaland line. The Godfather Of Soul said it first!

Do me a favor; if you know me personally, watch the video. If you think I’m just a metalhead, really, no, I thrive on funk.

I was having breakfast at the cafeteria near my office and they play an enjoyable dose of rock kapak. I heard a honky blaring guitar tone. I remembered this most recently when I heard Jack White’s collaboration with Alicia Keys on the James Bond soundtrack. I remember making this awesome, raw, elephant-like sound once many years ago, with my Creative SB Live! EAX sound effects and my (sister’s) Yamaha F-210 guitar, with a cheap microphone sitting in the soundhole.

My soundcard since died, I think. The recordings sit in my hard disk. The only physical pedal I have, a Jimi Hendrix wah pedal, is with my cousin who would send me the occasional recording he made. And he would always astound me as he’d always explore new sounds. Last one I heard had better sounding drum machines than the last. Maybe it’s the former Malaysian music reviewer in me talking but we tend to compare everything to an international artiste (as reference, and so we sound cool) so I’d say I’d like to believe that he is sounding more like Depeche Mode and Daft Punk. Simply because I enjoy them so much, and few people make music as progressively cool as they do.

I’d meet him about 3 times a year during family gatherings. I used to meet him on MSN but I don’t go on MSN anymore. It’s just very counter-productive; I feel like I cannot get anything done when Alt-Tabbing between chat windows and Photoshop or anything.

If fate led me to rocking out properly (like passing that exam and buying that yummy butterscotch-flavored Ibanez) I might’ve been a rock star.

When I hear music so unique, it makes me wish more people tried to copy these bands. Sly And The Family Stone. Prince. Red Hot Chili Peppers. Faith No More. Daft Punk. That’s why when I hear somebody who sounds remotely like that, I’m like hey check these dudes out.

Who is the most copied band of all time? Nirvana (and their Seattle scene.) Great, pick the least technically adept of all bands to adapt. Maybe we could also call Green Day a template to be reused.

I watched every video on “Tales Of Mere Existence”. Each video hit me. I know this, I thought. I could do this, I thought.

I remember that I could draw. I still doodle during meetings. My colleagues can see various robot warriors if they were sitting on my side of the table.

Most recently, my simple drawing of a clamp adaptor got itself a slot on Flickr:
How to draw a diagram.

I always wondered why people could not draw simple things like cylinders and cubes correctly, with the right perspective. I don’t expect people to solve the Rubik’s Cube, but drawing it properly would do it justice.

I feel like doing some good classic DIY. The last proper thing I did was a tilt-shift, but the one I’m most proud of is my infrared Electronic Viewfinder Interchangeable Lens camera. You can’t call it a SLR because there’s no mirror. Screw Micro Four Thirds, I was there first! With a Fujifilm somemore!

To this day, when I walk into YL Camera, those that have seen the infrared camera tell the others how ingenious I am. I miss that feeling, of being ingenious. It’s one thing to walk into a camera shop toting the latest Sony Alpha 900 and HVL-F58AM rotating flash, and another thing toting a tiny camera that does infrared and has a superb telephoto range.

And there are those I’d like to share this sense of pride with but they won’t come with me into that shop and hear them speak praises of me. There, in those camera shops, I am a rock star.

I don’t have a yearning to be the best. I just have a yearning to be unique, to make something nobody else has thought of. I’m sorry, I do not think that getting a 100% is an accomplishment. All it means is that you can adhere to a standard with no mistakes. A standard somebody else has made, some examiner.

When I ask my children if they have done something useful in their life, I mean to ask if they’ve invented or conjured something that nobody has thought of. I’d be more proud if my son was a conman who came up with a clever, never-heard-of modus operandi, than if he was an honest stockbroker who played it safe.

8 thoughts on “I feel like doing many things.

  1. Jannah Raffali Post author

    When I was a young wee lass at 19 (God I feel old) I had a band. We jammed to the Cranberries..we wanted to call ourselves the Cherries..

    Then everyone went their separate ways..and the dream died along with my hopes of international stardom.

    I guess some dreams die..so that new dreams might unfold..

    All the best to you dude 🙂

  2. Chen Post author

    tales of mere existence. yeah, you COULD do it. you SHOULD do it.

    then at least one of us wouldn’t merely be existing for its own sake. you’d be making something meaningful with your time and energy.

    i like today’s post a lot. 🙂

  3. Albert Ng Post author

    Will: I have excuses heh. But yes, lights are crazy expensive!

    Jannah Raffali: Did the Cherries play pop?

    Chen: Yes I got to know of Tales Of Mere Existence from your blog. 😛 You have no idea how much my mind tumbled about after watching each video.

    I think I do make something of my life in a contributory manner, just not as much as I’d like, and not as artsily as I’d like. I’m contributing in a very geeky way instead.

  4. Jannah Raffali Post author

    Pop? No..we rocker jalanan..cover Cranberries songs..jam to U2 once in a blue moon..but tribute band la kiranya..I even had a short haircut back then macam Dolores 😛

  5. Ganaesh D. Post author

    "If you think I’m just a metalhead, really, no, I thrive on funk."

    No, dude, I think you’re a Malaysian Kitaro, and this assumption is strictly based on the length of your hair.

  6. shootkk Post author

    Whoa! Hold your horses! I know what you mean. It sucks when reality gets in the way of dreams but hey we find our way somehow.

    Remember that you are unique. For what it is worth you’re the first cool, long haired rocker like dude that digs cameras and really knows his photography stuff! Man, I don’t really know that many people that fits that description. So chill! I believe in you.

  7. Albert Ng Post author

    Ganaesh D.: Then you must be a Malaysian Russell Peters. 😀

    shootkk: Heh thanks man. I know I can be rather unique at times and sometimes I can’t help it. But I feel like I’m not exerting strengths all the time.

    Jannah Raffali: Alaaa, Cherries tak pop. 🙁


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