1. Your full name:
Take my ICQ nick and shuffle the letters around. NOW you guys know.

2. What friends call you:
Albert, Bert; Alby, Albie (both, if from guys, sound incredibly gay) Dude DEY Dear Darling OY Macha Boss

3. What your boyfriend/girlfriend calls you:
Alby baby. Sometimes J.J.M. just gropes me straight.

4. What’s a name you once wished you’d rather have?
I can’t remember. 🙁

5. What is the ugliest name you can think of?

7. If there was a song about you, what would it be called?
The Wizard

8. What would you name your kids?
Definitely not Q-Tip. 😉

9. What would you name a ship you built?
Not Q-Tip either!

10. If you wrote a book, what would it be called?
The Bluffer’s Guide To Appearing All-knowing

11. Thrown up in public?

12. Eaten or drank anything spoiled?

13. Had a rip in your pants you didn’t know about?
One day a huge grunge-style knee hole appeared in my favorite cargo pants!

14. Tripped while checking someone out?
I trip, but I never fall. 🙂

15. Had to pay for something you broke?
I never did pay for her heart

16. Nearly drowned?
In the love of the Backstreet Boys

17. Passed out?
No, weirdly… I never remembered fainting

18. Had a crush on somebody:
Who hasn’t?

19. Been stuck in the rain?
No, almost got stuck in cement though

20. Been attacked by an animal?
HO YEH. Rawr. Thank goodness she didn’t bite. 😀

21. Caught people kissing?
Yeah. Was a bit too heavy to drag both of them in the net so I let them go

22. Fallen asleep while driving?

23. Felt attracted to someone of the same sex?

24. Actually slipped on a banana peel?

25. Made a wish that came true?
I prayed for a Gameboy, a SNES and a Nintendo 64. I now have emulators.

[What would you do if…]
26. The girl/guy that you like… doesn’t like you:
I’d sue my bomoh

27. Somebody was about to steal your car?
I’d support him/her in the act of stealing a car for me

28. You wake up with a billion spiders crawling all over you and your bed?
I’d get my ass up and take a bath

29. You farted while giving a persuasive speech in class?
I’d go on

30. The person you like… farted in front of you:
I’d spank their butt

31. You had three wishes?
You know the slogan “Ask for more”

32. The government allowed you to choose one thing to be made illegal and one thing to be legalized?
I’d illegalize baby-dropping and legalize owning mountain goats

33. Britney Spears was at your front door asking for jumper cables?
I’d help her from behind the wheel and speed off in her sports car

34. You had a time machine?
I HAVE a machine that tells the time; it’s on my left arm.

[Would you rather…]
35. Find the cure for cancer or the cure for AIDS?
Cancer, since you’d get it even sitting on a mountain from birth.

36. Have the power to fly, or the power to teleport:

37. Have the power to see the future, or the power to record your past life?
The future; we can record the past

38. Be really skinny, or really fat?
Skinny; I’d sweat less

39. Be lost in a forest, or stuck in a box?
Forest; I need oxygen

40. Be in a drama movie, or a comedy?
Comedy; unless it’s a soap opera, then I get to screw around with my fraternal twin and her ex-boyfriend’s uncle’s student’s housemate

41. Have your birthday on Christmas Day, or on February 29th?
Christmas Day; I won’t be working

42. Live in South Pole or North Pole?
The South Pole; you can go “WHAT’S UP!!!” and answer that with “THE WHOLE WORLD DUUUDE!!!”

43. Be on a plane or a train?

44. Snow board or hang glide:
Hang glide

45. Be a ninja or a pirate?
Pirates have fun. Ironically, sailors have none.

[Dream Guy/Gal]
46. Musician/Athletic:

47. Muscular/Slim:
Muscular. Sorry J.J.M. you don’t quite make it.

48. Romantic/Humorous:

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