Wearing a haze mask around town is fun, especially on the LRT. People stare at you, and you stare back at them. You feel a sense of unity with the other masked passengers.

I wouldn’t mind writing “what are you staring at?” on my mask, but that wouldn’t be catchy enough for the sesquipedalian Albert. So I was sitting around, thinking of eye-catching slogans for masks:

• I can take off this mask. Women in Saudi Arabia can’t. (Don’t wear this on the monorail!)
• Visit my blog at http://www.xfresh.com/albert
• Made in Indonesia
• Wanna share my air?
• I’m trying to quit smoking
• You and I are not breathing the same air
• The end of the world is here. I don’t wanna die a virgin!
• To make sure it doesn’t come off, I use superglue. It smells nice too.
• Smile if you’re a wanker (yes, this was stolen from a Mambo T-shirt)