Back. For Good?

“Even heroes have the right to bleed” – Five For Fighting, Superman

So I usually don’t use other people’s quotes in my blog. So I don’t even use my quotes in my blog consistently. I originally planned to, anyway – I’d write a quote, and talk all about it, and the events/stories that happened that made me coin that quote. My blog was supposed to be like that.

Where have I been? Why haven’t I blogged? Simple. As of late, I was destressing a different way – playing computer games, be it Max Payne, Quake 3 Arena Instagib, Counter-Strike, or even the dangerously addictive Spider Solitaire.

I’d come home with a weird feeling of having not accomplished anything, like something was not right. Nothing was wrong, but I still felt that the air was uncalm. I’d come back with low self-esteem, with a strong feeling to rant (and blog!) but I went for computer games. I forgot about blogging temporarily.

It was a trained reflex. While waiting for my computer to connect to the Internet, I’d play Spider Solitaire instead of doing something more productive. Whenever I got stuck, or braindead, I’d load up Hard difficulty and prove once again that that was a lesson in futility. That was not good.

Back to the topic – me! (Who else?) I’ve been feeling depressed lately, on and off, over a few SMSes, and over certain incidents. No particular incident was solely responsible for me being down; it was a few totally unrelated incidents coming together in ironic ways to give me a combined message.

Only now I can write about it. Why? My computer is still too slow for the games I want to play. I am seriously considering a major upgrade, once I know precisely what to get.

But then again, having a slow computer (a 486 for 6 years until the end of 1998!) helped me develop my skills as a programmer and debugger.

I haven’t been online on my home PC for a week. My siblings have screwed the phone bill with their daily Neopet feeding. I don’t just hate the site because it’s addictive, I hate it because I may someday have to take part in such a huge-scale project.

Ugh. I just took a Spider Solitaire break. I have to dissasociate boredom and slow connections with Windows games.

Drat – I can’t even remember what I wanted to type, having spanned this over thunder and a whole day of sleep! Nevermind then, enjoy my latest article, My First Clubbing Experience!

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