I was walking in SS2 with a friend when a police car stopped, and two policemen got out.

“Apa you bawa?” (What are you carrying?)

I opened my plastic bag and showed them the Transformers I had just bought.

“Tunjuk IC.” (Show us your ICs.)

We took out our identity cards.

“Korang dari kampung mana?” (Where are you guys from?)

We’re from Petaling Jaya, around here.

“Oh, nama you (masukkan nama Melayu di sini) ya? You tak nampak Melayu.” (Oh, your name is (insert Malay name here). You don’t look Malay.)

My friend explained that his mom was Japanese. The rest of the questions were for me:

“Apa dalam poket ini?” (What’s in this pocket?)

I took out my rechargeable batteries.

“Habis poket itu?” (How about this other pocket?)

I told them that it was my digital camera.

“Korang nak pergi mana?” (Where are you guys going?)

We told them that we were walking to a friend’s house.

“You ada mabuk kah?” (Have you guys consumed alcoholic beverages?)

We told them that we did not, and they said “okay…” and let us off.

I won’t deny that the hair I did not cut for 10 months, my lack of sleep, and my natural grunge cargo pants (it had holes and tears, but in proper places) would make me look like the biggest cocaine bust of the century.