Category Archives: Love

The Ugly Mask. Boo.

I find it so ironic now.

There is just no interest. Well it’s about time the tables turned!

For once, I know what it’s like to not like. In that way. I see the challenge.

She doesn’t get it. What’s worse is that putting an ugly mask just for her doesn’t work. Many wise people have said that love is about accepting flaws. Haha.

What’s worse now is that these “flaws” are now real, in believable commentary. I have made bad PR for myself by beating around the bush.

Sadly, the problem is not that what I want you do not have; what I want, you do not want!

Why does she have to be amusing?

Balance

I have restored happiness into a young heart, at the ironic karmic cost of my own. Coincidence. The movement.

The truth never hurts. One’s inability to handle it does.

It confirmed what a fool I was. I budged before but no more. I shall release the belt, and let fly!

Again, I am a pharmacist, dispensing drugs I shall never use.

Sometimes, the worse medicine can come in a prepackaged tablet. What more than a recycled line of advice? Some sentences just do not console; they irritate.

Anyway, more wordy goodness can come from a linkable lady, Scherzquin.

Ada Apa Dengan Cerita?

My sister borrowed her friend’s Ada Apa Dengan Cinta? VCD. Yeah, the famed teenage love movie from Indonesia. Of course, me being the never-got-a-credit-for-SPM-Malay, could not understand what they were talking about in their thick Indonesian accents, and it didn’t help that this was so original it did not have subtitles.

The gist of the story that I got was that Cinta liked Rangga’s poetry or something. However, she has a boyfriend, who we named ‘Angelo’ because he looked like our cousin of the same name. 😛

Rangga mopes around, talks to her, and gets beaten up. She comes over to his house for lunch and suddenly molotov cocktails get thrown in. I didn’t get that part… Angelo’s revenge perhaps?

Then, Rangga leaves for someplace so far he has to take a plane. Somehow it reminded me of one Gilmore Girls episode where the antihero Jess sulks on a bus, with Rory being oblivious to the fact that he’s leaving town.

At the starting of the movie I could not tell her girl clique apart. In different scenes I’d have to ask my sister which one that one was. The crying one? The one with glasses?

Oh yes, in late response to Lionel‘s claim, I’m not exactly a Rangga as he’d say when we met.

Inadequacy

I’ll never be enough
Never be full
Too smooth or too rough
To push or pull

I will not stand out
Even with my hands raised high
Till a strong gust comes about
I shall never fly

Oh bones please extend within
Darkness please scar my skin

Potential energy has never been so wasted
As I have hoarded profusely
Chemical energy is better off rewarded
To another holding body

Because You’re Worth It

I’m so happy.

I went out with my oldtime revelation-disco-very buddy. After finally watching Terminator 3 (surprisingly lacking suggestive scenes but has an inventive car chase) we walked around the renovated and reinnovated One Utama. She got a call; she had to eat dinner with family in about half an hour.

She was going to stay while waiting to accompany me. “Why?” I asked.

Because you’re worth it?

Oh sorry, been watching too many advertisements.

Wow. My otherwise sleep-all-Sunday was made!

Of course, what was even more ironic was that it was just after noon that she asked if I wanted to watch it on that day. I sounded sick on the phone, having moshed my aching neck off in Saturday’s Taylor’s Battle Of The Bands, and she asked if I still wanted to go, since I’d be tired and all.

I said, “Yeah!

I wanted to say right after that, “Because you’re worth it?

Uh yes, I told her that too. “You serious?” “Yeah, really!” Of course, if I said it earlier, then she might not have said it, and I’d be the usual corny suspect.

The beautiful ironicness of it all makes my today a day viewed with a rainbow tint. (No, I didn’t pop LSD.)

Forsee I Was Born

Flood!
Rushing in your blood
Mushing in your brain
Burning like acid rain

The Nile
Could never smell so vile
Despite all the mud
The gold shows through the crud

My self-diagnosis
Shows a thrombosis
An isotonic osmosis
Is this new genesis

My tracks are full of iron
My boots are lead
Reliable, if I’m not mistaken
But worn by the dead

It’s all conjured
No one was injured
Just leave me assured
Not mentally pressured

If there is not one answer
Don’t bother with the question
If there is not one flower
Don’t bother with the garden

Don’t Worry My Love(s)

Don’t worry if we’re going too fast
Worry if it’s not part of the deal
Don’t worry about how long it will last
Worry about how good it will feel

I am a pharmacist
Prescribing drugs I’ll never use
I am a botanist
Plucking flowers from beds I choose
I am a scientist
Causing double helixes to fuse
I am a pessimist
I wonder if I have anything to lose

Perhaps I’d heed, not admire
Perhaps I’d bleed through the wire
Perhaps my seed will expire
Perhaps my greed shall backfire

Back to reality. If there’s one thing Paul and I are good at, it’s staying single.

Aggression

PRESSURE!
AGGRESSION!
Aggression is what I need
Aggression or I will be left to bleed
From my green eyes
From my fatigued thighs

Run, run! Don’t walk
Watch the length of your talk
Watch the strength of your balk
Watch the bitter taste of chalk

So your friend was unconventional.
Should public opinion be pivotal?
Was all you wanted approval?
What they said put you in denial

Should I have used my influence?
Reversed a negative appearance?
To backfire on me
To become my enemy

Don’t worry, my friend
My aggression will not be your end.

No Fiction Just Frustration

It doesn’t matter anymore. No point rebuilding the bridge. The waves have swept, crashing all that there is. Fine, imitate irritatingly.

Hide if you will, visit if you want. Freeze me. Throw waves across. You think people think it’s attention-seeking? Well, I think it is now.

Lead us on, just don’t forget your debts.

These destructive thoughts are something I’m letting myself have. For the moment. I’ve sent enough cars over and careening down the fault.

It’s always noisy when you’re not in the conversation.