Laughing Matter

What is evil?

My evil laugh.

Yes, I never have a consistent evil laugh. It’s all live improvisation when I am amused by your pitiful cause. However conjured it may be, it still strikes terror in hearts of those who ears catch the hearty waves.

“What the heck was that?”

Oh, I love it when they say that. Then I end up explaining that I was doing my evil laugh and not having some psychotic flashback.

It’s not like I sound possessed; I have controlled evil laughter. Maniacal is the word. It also depends on company. Whether you notice it or not, we all laugh differently with different people. Their laugh rubs off on us. If you think this person laughs all the same all the time, it’s probably because you’re with the person. 😛

It also helps to make an evil snicker, or evil grin.

There are many methods, that I shall attempt to spell out here, but due to cultural and phonetic differences, I do not guarantee that your interpretation and pronunciation of the syllables are the same.

“Kkkk-KAH kah-KAH kah.”
“HAH! Ha ha hah! Nya hahaha.”

These are just the simple forms. It is recommended that you carefully punctuate your laugh with loud and soft bits, dramatic pauses and chortles, as well as eye twinges. You may also gasp, but choking is unprofessional. Save that for the next Austin Powers movie.

If you should stumble and pause, squint your eyes in that formulating-master-plan style. What master plan? Gee, you’re an evildoer and you don’t have a plan? Did you think that you could escape planning all your life, just because your parents were controlling you and forcing you to be an accountant? No! There is no escaping it! (Oh wait, I feel a laugh coming on. Excuse me.)

Disclaimer: I’m not evil, I just like being playfully mean. 🙂

Someday, my friends, I shall write a book, and criminal warlords shall send their footperson (footmen are never as stealthy as footwomen) to break glass casings in fancy bookshops to steal it! And when the footperson returns, the criminal warlord shall keep silent. The footperson shall tremble in anticipation. Had he/she grabbed the wrong book? The warlord flips through the pages, studying the text. Suddenly, thunderous evil laughter is heard!

The footperson is relieved at his/her master’s approval.

P.S. I’ve updated my About Me! page with updated links to DJ Phuturecybersonique, Rocket Queen and fresh, interesting reads from Crappo and Ayunami. Count with me! One! Two! Three! (Thunder crash in background.)

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