Out of the blue, a friend asked on MSN:

albert are you gay?
hahahahaha why
tell me honestly, are you?
why do you think so ah
hmmm
you think i like rainbows? you wanna introduce me to a guy?
do you have frens who are gay?
yes, i have friends who are gay
ok..do you know how diff gay?
how different?
how to differentiate lar
well, gays usually like Mariah Carey
really?
yeah
why arr?
why la you asking
cuz arr…hmmmm im kinda fall for someone lor… frens all suspect he is a gay
then he probably is. 😛
arr?
introduce to me la, then i find out for you 😉
u know why..cuz that’s usually a guy in and out with him, wearing the same design pendant, same hair style
means matching?
hmm… what do u think?
how about his shoes? are they very clean?
yeah. very
OOOOOOOOOO
he’s my instructor lar
instructor for? gym?
yeah
is his hand soft? i mean, like when he talks, does he flop his hand
hmm i didnt notice
means don’t have la? wait wait, why you suspect me aaa?
maybe yes but i didnt notice
how would you know if i am gay?
i dont know… heard from ed long time ago, i couldnt remember
so why did he say that?
hahaha
i mean, he got reasons ah? i mean, i thought i look pretty straight
you heard from Ed… or Shaz?
yo you there?
wait arr on the phone
ok

If I told her I wasn’t, I would not be able to find out why she thought I was gay.

The next day, I watched Actorlympics, where the flamboyant gay guys were the funniest, as always.

The day after that, I was kissed by a guy. Two girls made a deal; “you guys kiss for two seconds, and we’ll make out for 30 seconds.”

It didn’t matter to me whether they did it or not, I’ve been there, seen that. And I didn’t mind a meaningless kiss from between straight guys, because really, in the end, we did it not because we wanted to see them make out, but because they so obviously wanted to make out so badly, and needed some excuse.

But hey, guys kissing are a lot more precious than a mere 30 seconds. And if I wanted to see girls making out in real life without having to kiss a guy, I could hop over to Frangipani when it is their ladies night.

I went to dance, and when I came back, apparently all the guys had kissed each other.

Or maybe they were just getting back at us, as the girls wanted to drop by Frangipani before Zouk.

Finally, I made up for all the gay debauchery on Saturday. Bored of all the Klang Valley malls, I headed to Jusco Seremban 2 (there you have your answer for the sign) with LIMITED EDITION 01. The place smelled of food all over, and it reminded me of Ikano a lot; parallelogram-shaped wide shops and modern, brightly-lit design.

Unfortunately, I am not able to tell a story as imaginative as hers, so I’ll just say we went to watch Pink Panther. It was well-executed slapstick. However, watching Mr. Bean on TV, I still think the British are the best at slapstick and comic timing. In Mr. Bean, for example, the kid uses a remote control to control a toy boat. The remote seems to be spoiled, so Mr. Bean hacks the remote control, and unwittingly makes it take control of a electric wheelchair. He then drives the boat across the pond, with the poor man in wheelchair rolling in the background. He hands it to the kid, and the kid turns it, unaware that the wheelchair is about to crash into him.

With Pink Panther’s style, you’d see the wheelchair hit the boy into the pond, with a splash, and the man’s expression as he flies into the water. Funny.

With Mr. Bean, they cut to the next scene. Funnier.

Interestingly, Inspector Jacques Clouseau is seen in one scene downloading a ringtone for System Of A Down – B.Y.O.B.! Rock on, old incompetent Frenchman.

More interesting was the taxi ride to KL Sentral; the taxi driver asked, “You pergi mana? Seremban?” Caught by surprise, I mumbled, “Bukit Bintang“. Then he asked, “jumpa amoi?”

On Sunday however, I found the love of my life! I never had the real thing in my hands until late last year; one was from London, the other, Australia. We could have a few quickies under one minute. People would look at us on the LRT.

ARGH! After I got Hannna to get me one from Selfridges London, and Ed got me one from Australia, I finally found this, at RM24.95 at Toys’R’Us Express, The Mall, near Putra World Trade Centre. Bloody hell that’s USD 6.56 (online, USD12)! Why was it cheaper? I found that they stuck a white label over the Milton Bradley and Hasbro Toys logos. No wonder it was cheaper!

It felt more consistent than the Australian cube, solid and did not lock. It didn’t seem like friction, but it felt slower, and slower it was; 74 seconds was twice my record.