Snatch A Smell

This morning, I heard an attempted snatch theft. Yeah, heard, not saw, as I was walking out the passageway of the house. A scream, and a loud motorbike screech was heard. (And my uncle, still sitting, who was reminding us to look for the license plate number.) By the time my mom and I rushed to the door, all we saw was a distraught girl with a handbag, and keys. At least she was alright.

My mom then urged my father to walk her to the bus stop, where she was headed. Perhaps it’s a good thing that my dad looks scruffy and suspicious somewhat, because while he isn’t a criminal, a thief would pick on much more innocent-looking prey.

Which explains somewhat, why I want to look badass, with my messy long hair and goatee. Better to be scary than to be scared, yes? I can blend in with Central Market without weirdos coming up to me, saying, “No, I’m not a gang member.” anymore.

Sure, I get stopped by the police once in a while, but I just show them my IC and tell them of my good intentions. I actually sigh in relief, knowing someone who looks as scraggy as me gets stopped, because there are less messy-looking criminals out there.

This attempt happened right in front of my grandma’s house, about the same place where my sister was robbed. Now all we need is my grandpa (on the other side… of the family) to sit in the porch with a shotgun.

Anyway, I have to agree that Handbags are like virginity.

Why do girls carry handbags?

In a way, to me, it helps objectify women as objects, where a bulging purse would spoil the curves.

I have major respect to Fireangel, who I’ve never seen with a handbag, and appreciates cargo pants.

Of course, it could just be that their purses are huge and double the length… of mens’ wallets. Maybe we should give girls name card holders to use as wallets, as a practice in minimalism.

I don’t see why ladies want smaller and slimmer phones, and small cameras, when their handbags can fit digital SLRs, a few lenses and a corded phone.

What else is in there? Make up, for touchups.

We should have powdering rooms in Malaysia. That way, women need not carry make up kits around. Make sure it is well furnished with all tones. This could be a business, with disposable brushes sold in vending machines. A coin-operated perfume spraying machine could also do wonders! Instead of having perfume sold in expensive bottles, have perfume companies sell vending machines to shopping malls. Best part about it is, any other woman can get a preview of the smell, being in the proximity, and if she likes it she can spray herself too.

I swear I get the best ideas while on the porcelain throne.

11 thoughts on “Snatch A Smell

  1. Will Post author

    Not all handbags are large. Most are small, tote bags just to put the essentials like phone, pads etc. Large bags are for aunties.

    Reply
  2. tina Post author

    hmm.. the funny thing is, sometimes, friends/bfs tend to "tumpang" their barang2 into the girl’s BIG BAG!.. i try to carry a bag as small as possible but how to fit in the much needed book and mp3 player during a long journey??

    and i think it’s Paris Hilton’s fault… she made it a trend to carry big bags.. -_-‘ (i dun like her)

    Reply
  3. Silencers Post author

    "I don’t see why ladies want smaller and slimmer phones, and small cameras, when their handbags can fit digital SLRs, a few lenses and a corded phone."

    Word.

    Reply
  4. tina Post author

    thanks will..
    for proving my point… haha. i kena "victimised" by tumpang-ers before.. get your own bag!

    Reply
  5. tina Post author

    we need more fashionable cargos!! eh.. albert! thought of coming up with more fashionable cargos on the porcelain throne?

    oh.. i went to a public toilet in melbourne.. and i was thinking.. all those ideas of yours.. ain’t gonna work in KL laaa… one day only everything gone adey!

    Reply
  6. Laynie Post author

    Everyone sharing the makeup??? Ew… And anyway, no handbags do not impair any view!! They’re not that big ya know…

    Reply
  7. Will Post author

    I’m guilty of tumpang-ing my gf’s handbag, mostly to put my phone when playing pool. don’t want to crush it leaning over the table you know.

    Reply

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