Category Archives: General

Flicks For Chicks

6 Replies

So I watched She’s The Man. Amanda Byrnes plays the man well in this supposed chick flick (which never really struck me as one, as was White Chicks and The Hot Chick). She played the mannerisms very well, with the flighty eyes and very male expressions. She started off delivering her lines too fast (Gilmore Girls anyone?) but got natural soon. Funny and yet observant, a good teen flick.

The football team was cool, because every member looked like a real footballer. Heck, even the manager looked like someone you’d see at the back of a newspaper! Oh and I think Channing Tatum looks like a member of boyband Blue.

Oh, and Olivia is hot. Loved her little nuances like the smirk she did when she first bumped into Amanda. Girls don’t even know they do it!

What are chick flicks? The Princess Diaries, for example. A guy would enjoy Too Fast Too Furious for the girls and the cars, because they’d look at the screen and go, wow. They’d know the cars and geek out about the spoilers and engine sounds etc. As for The Princess Diaries (2, since I didn’t watch the first), I could hear every girl in the cinema geek out as the cupboards opened, revealing tiaras and necklaces. (Just like a guy would go ooo when a drawer opens with machineguns inside.)

Chick flicks are the sensitive antithesises to action movies.

Another sure-fire indicator would be an immensely female-oriented emotional epics that do not engage the interest of heterosexual males. If it does, then it is in the category of romantic comedy. Also, chick flicks take a more sombre tone; tuning down the humor to make sure the message gets across.

A guy would immediately go on defensive upon hearing such titles like Pride And Prejudice, Sense And Sensibility, As Good As It Gets, What Women Want, The First Wives Club etc. What the heck are these movies about?!? Even if we knew that Pride And Prejudice was based on a book, we know that the book isn’t a book about cops and robbers and thus would not be enticed to watch it alone.

Come to think of it, the title itself lends a hint – an object in the title makes the deal for the object-oriented male, who would rather not deal with cryptic titles that allure to concepts, e.g. Monty Python And The Holy Grail versus Pride And Prejudice. We know damn well that when we watch it, there will be a Monty Python, and there will be a Holy Grail. We’ll see the objects on screen represented in color and shape.

Often you can identify this with a poster of two lovebirds. Not all posters with lovebirds are chick flicks; it can be identified by the tendency of the actress to have sweet smiles instead of saucy scenes. Denise Richards is a sure indicator of some hot action (with the exception of I Do (But I Don’t) where she plays a boring wedding planner, and I had the misfortune of seeing her… talent wasted like this on Hallmark.)

Oh, and any love story that shows on Hallmark is most likely a chick flick.

So why am I running off tangent from the intended blog entry about She’s The Man? Must be the chick flicks. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate chick flicks; thrown into a cinema with one and I’d come up with some intelligent analysis of the movie after, I promise!

Quiz Sentence

7 Replies

Because somebody I read said, “Everyone who blogs and reads this blog, just do it.“, I guess I’d do it.

1. My uncle once:
Sold pimpin’ paste-on designs for cars. In the ’90s.

2. Never in my life have I:
Won the lottery. (Will irony strike me wrong? Please?)

3. The one person who can drive me nuts:
Hmmm. I don’t even remember ever been driven nuts. Unless poking the person to stop using the f-language counts.

4. High School is/was:
A place where I was very quiet, and a place where I’d see a bunch of hopeful-looking socialites who turned out to be nowhere to be seen in the socialite world. Are there any SMK Sultan Abdul Samad PJ party people out there? Or did they all turn out to be people who’d come back from Australia not alcoholics?

5. When I’m nervous:
I wish I could disappear. No, wait, self-destructive thought! I wish everyone else would disappear. Isn’t that a more positive, constructive way of looking at things?

6. The last time I cried was:
When I discovered the wrong way to hold a pepper spray. Kidding!

7. If I were to get married RIGHT NOW my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be:
Shaz. Because he loves to wear his tuxedo (and maybe I could put some pressure on the boy).

8. My thoughts:
Exactly.

9. When I was 5:
I wasn’t all that skinny. I think I stopped gaining weight there.

10. Last Christmas:
Was on the 25th of December, 2005. AHA! See? I remember, despite the copious amounts of alcohol that was passed around!

11. When I turn my head left, I see:
Jenifer packing up and leaving our office for good. Where will we ever find a camwhore as shameless to replace you?

12. When I turn my head right, I see:
smashpOp, a shameless camwhore.

13. When I look down I see:
My sexy legs. Yes, they are sexy. Rocket once had the honor of seeing them when I wore shorts, and she said I had athletic legs. (Most of the time I wear long pants which don’t show anything.)

14. The craziest recent event was:
When a wack guy ran up to me and said, “GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!”

15. By this time next year:
My hair would be very different.

16. I have a hard time understanding:
Real-time strategy games.

17. One time at a family gathering:
My grandfather told a story. No, not just any story… a grandfather story.

18. You know I “like” you if:
I raise my hands to make the inverted quote sign, and say “I like you”.

19. If I won an award, the first person I’d thank is:
Myself, for getting myself in such an awesome predicament, and getting acknowledged for it. Often, we fail to credit those who are most vital to our success – ourselves!

20. My ideal breakfast is:
Free.

21. If you visit my hometown:
You might be the victim of a snatch theft. It has happened twice in front of my house already.

22. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon:
My bedroom.

23. Boys are:
Not stupid, and should throw rocks at girls.

24. Today I:
Ate a dory fish. I forgot what I did after that.

25. The world could do without:
Spam.

26. Most recent thing you’ve bought yourself:
A canned drink?

27. Most recent thing someone else bought you:
I don’t remember, but I sure could use a car.

28. My favorite time of the day is:
Between 8 and 10pm, when I’m the most awake.

29. My favorite quote is:
“Impotence is not hereditary.”

30. I need:
You, baby.

31. And by the way:
I tried to say I’d be there, waiting for.

32. The person who I last talked to told me to:
Tell you that you should thank me for entertaining you.

33. Once, at a bar/club:
I drank tap water because I didn’t think Coke was worth it.

34. Last night:
I sampled a bit of KFC’s new Original Recipe Chicken Chop, and I loved it.

35. There’s this girl who I:
Think is so incredibly hot I wanna pour the KFC Original Recipe Chicken Chop gravy on, and then lick it off her.

36. There is this guy who I:
Think is a sneaky bastard, and yet, I admire his sneaky tactics.

Snatch A Smell

11 Replies

This morning, I heard an attempted snatch theft. Yeah, heard, not saw, as I was walking out the passageway of the house. A scream, and a loud motorbike screech was heard. (And my uncle, still sitting, who was reminding us to look for the license plate number.) By the time my mom and I rushed to the door, all we saw was a distraught girl with a handbag, and keys. At least she was alright.

My mom then urged my father to walk her to the bus stop, where she was headed. Perhaps it’s a good thing that my dad looks scruffy and suspicious somewhat, because while he isn’t a criminal, a thief would pick on much more innocent-looking prey.

Which explains somewhat, why I want to look badass, with my messy long hair and goatee. Better to be scary than to be scared, yes? I can blend in with Central Market without weirdos coming up to me, saying, “No, I’m not a gang member.” anymore.

Sure, I get stopped by the police once in a while, but I just show them my IC and tell them of my good intentions. I actually sigh in relief, knowing someone who looks as scraggy as me gets stopped, because there are less messy-looking criminals out there.

This attempt happened right in front of my grandma’s house, about the same place where my sister was robbed. Now all we need is my grandpa (on the other side… of the family) to sit in the porch with a shotgun.

Anyway, I have to agree that Handbags are like virginity.

Why do girls carry handbags?

In a way, to me, it helps objectify women as objects, where a bulging purse would spoil the curves.

I have major respect to Fireangel, who I’ve never seen with a handbag, and appreciates cargo pants.

Of course, it could just be that their purses are huge and double the length… of mens’ wallets. Maybe we should give girls name card holders to use as wallets, as a practice in minimalism.

I don’t see why ladies want smaller and slimmer phones, and small cameras, when their handbags can fit digital SLRs, a few lenses and a corded phone.

What else is in there? Make up, for touchups.

We should have powdering rooms in Malaysia. That way, women need not carry make up kits around. Make sure it is well furnished with all tones. This could be a business, with disposable brushes sold in vending machines. A coin-operated perfume spraying machine could also do wonders! Instead of having perfume sold in expensive bottles, have perfume companies sell vending machines to shopping malls. Best part about it is, any other woman can get a preview of the smell, being in the proximity, and if she likes it she can spray herself too.

I swear I get the best ideas while on the porcelain throne.

Aye, Queue For IQ

Leave a reply

So you’ve always thought you were smarter than the rest. Come prove it, by taking the Malaysian Mensa IQ Test!

What: The Malaysian Mensa Scrabble Challenge 2006, where there would also be two rounds of testing.
When: 1:15pm and 5pm (testing sessions) or 8:30am (registration for Scrabble, if you’re interested)
Where: Avenue Food Mall, 10th floor, Berjaya Times Square
How much: RM35 admission test fees (as for Scrabble click here.)
Why: To be a certified smartass. Oh you meant Scrabble? To be a certified wordy smartass.

No, I won’t be there, I don’t play Scrabble, and I already took the test.

Dull Letters

3 Replies

Let’s justify why your good pal is sluggish to reply to chat at his house. The culprit is:

Yes that’s right kids, it’s too dark to see the letters to the right of C. Or rather, the letters were dulled with just two years of usage. I’d type out the word to later realize that I hit off-target keys!

Alas, I was shortly a whore to corporate goods, desperate; I just purchased the Logitech as I had acquired a fresh PC. It used a littler jack so I figured I’d replace, with the good ol’ classic 101-keyer quite likely to repeat L’s.

Guess what? I used to draw key layouts to whither away dull classes at school. Oh, woe!

I guess I could do without those letters; after all, I dodged their usage for this article.

In Spirit, Churn

8 Replies

I’ve been wanting to blog about this for almost a year already. Here comes Albert’s list of blogs who he looks up to for inspiration, wishing he could write like that.

Are there any rules to this list? No overrated, overlinked blogs. Blogs that only bloggers read, and not read by non-blogging people who don’t leave links when they comment. Blogs like they were in 2000, before the advent of digital cameras. Heck, what happened to the classic mysterious, alluring camwhores? They used to lead our imaginations wild on a 100×100 pixel picture alone!

I think some of the more famous bloggers will steal some of these links and propel them to a bastardly stardom. NNNOOO!!!

Circus Itch
A bunch of people with articles that speak the truth. Word. I don’t even know which of these pseudonyms has my Lord Of The Rings trilogy book.

Scherzquin
Her Seinfeld-esque introspections makes me wish I had time to rush from the toilet, when I have the most time to introspect, to blog. But all we ever do online is play MSN Solitaire Showdown.

Sykurlaus
I love her paragraphing, and laidback, casual delivery. And those occasional imaginative transdimensional realms she goes through.

Prosaicwhore
Now this, all you depressed-sounding self-pitying fakers, is real gothic. Vivaciously bombastic, arduously scientific and yet truly poetic.

May Yee
May Yee, I can’t believe you hid this from me so long. Have we been too preoccupied with MSN Minesweeper Flags for you to tell me of your hilarious blog?

Davina
She always had a most captivating, humorous way of telling stories. However, meet her in person and you’d get to hear her corny jokes and see her hyper bunny cartoony persona.

Cheesie
Sorrylah, you’re too famous already. Amusing and always a good light read, perfect for when you need a break and don’t want to strain your eyes reading. Okay, and then there are the pictures.

Grace
I haven’t seen such clear, sharp, vibrant colors in a while, with art and emotion in each picture. Olympus prosumer digicams (and their users) rock!

Lainie
I did not read her until we were properly introduced, and then it all made sense. We were in the scene. I saw a parallel in the way she wrote her disjointed long entries and mine (though I try to keep my blog entries to one topic these days). You know? Tell a story, then sidetrack a bit.

Jay
She has been funny from the days when I bumped into her Blogspot site. How do you make a punchline out of every story, huh? Huh?

And now, for the guys.

Joel
Dramatic sarcastic storytelling. He’s just as funny on MSN.

Rudy
Funny and introspective, a young man’s guide to getting some.

Bloodlet
When was the last time you laughed about repeated references to armpits and mantits? (No I do not have an obsession with them.)

Evening Drama
These bunch of funny guys who wrote articles and flamed each other were funnier when they were still on this blog site. Told you so.

The Silent Room
My camera geek buddy also writes some thought-provoking articles. The few pictures that he puts up… they tell stories.

DJ Phuturecybersonique
He was known as the walking talking DNS server back in Astro, for good reason – he was our ultimate technical reference. He also coded his own blog, and inspired me to do the same.

There was also Bazlitography, whose site died. I don’t know where he is anymore argh! Beautiful pictures, with superb composition and emotion.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Leave a reply

Your Five Factor Personality Profile


Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You’re not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your “down time.”

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You’re generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you’ve been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have medium neuroticism.
You’re generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there’s a few emotional bumps you’d like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You’ll try almost anything interesting, and you’re constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

Cut Back To School And Face The Music

4 Replies

The last time I had a haircut was on the 11th of October, 2004.

People were bugging me about my sideburns at the 1 year 3 months mark, but I didn’t want to do anything at such an unceremonious interval.

And so, I waited, 500 days later.

On the 23rd of March 2006, I got my sideburns cut by the best housemate ever. She does cooking, cleaning, laundry, and gives me a ride.

And now, for some filler:

I got tagged by Cheneille.

One song… from your early childhood.
The Righteous Brothers – Unchained Melody.

One song… you are associating with your first big love.
Who is my big love? Or rather, what is my big love? Here’s a hint: Stan Bush – The Touch.

One song… which reminds you of one of your holidays.
Nothing really reminds me of Singapore. 😛 Unless you can count Parking Lot Pimp, from Singapore.

One song… you like, but you have problems confessing to.
I like Search – Isabella, but I always could never confess my feelings to it, y’know? What’s the point of confessing, when you know it’s just a song, and you’re supposed to relate to it, and not it relate to you? But really, if I like a song from an artiste I hate, I’d confess it, no biggie.

One song… which accompanied you, while you were love sick.
You know what, I’m hardly as emo as the target audience of this meme. When I’m sad, she comes to me. Okay, really, I only remember listening to The Rasmus – Dead Letters album at that time. Then my MP3 player died and I never got repeated listening of any album.

One song… you listen most often to in your life.
According to Winamp’s Most Played, it’s The Beatles – Yesterday, but that’s because I’ve been trying to tab the string section for eBow. Below that, Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody, and the super funky basslined Sly And The Family Stone – If You Want Me To Stay.

One song… which is your most favored instrumental.
Eric Johnson – A Song For Life.

One song… which represents one of your most favored bands.
I have over 20GB of songs, so it’s not easy. But I like Faith No More – Epic.

One song… in which you recognize yourself or through which you somehow feel understood.
The White Stripes – I’m Finding It Harder To Be A Gentleman. 😀

One song… which reminds you of a certain occasion.
Avril Lavigne – I’m With You. I remember bringing up flowers a flowerpot to her as she sang on stage. It was wet so I brought it back down. Thanks a lot dudes for the prank.

One song… you like which belongs to the Hip Hop/Rap genre.
A Tribe Called Quest – Can I Kick It? Okay, fine, I don’t know the lyrics or listen to it much, but knowing A Tribe Called Quest makes me loads cooler than all you Black Eyed Peas fans.

One song… which is the best for you to relax.
Do people on average have all their vital songs on one audio CD? I’d say anything by Jamiroquai. He makes you dance happily and spin in your chair with funky tracks, then brings you to the lounge with his Stevie Wonder impression. (No, Stevie Wonder is too soppy for me, or rather, we don’t hear his upbeat songs like Higher Ground often.)

One song… which symbolizes a great time in your life.
Wow, let me think back when I was having a great time. I’m a happy person, so uh… I’d say, when I stumbled upon a massive collection in the office, including extensive works of Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne.

One song… which is your favorite song at the moment.
Eric Johnson – A Song For Life. I attempt to learn more of it each night.

One song… which you would dedicate to your best friend.
Queen – You’re My Best Friend. I don’t have one, though.

One song… where you have got the feeling that no one besides you likes it.
Good Charlotte – Festival Song. I heard this song on MSN Radio before anybody else had heard of Good Charlotte, and I don’t like their newer songs.

One song… you like because of its lyrics.
Spinal Tap – Big Bottom.

Who shall I tag? Anybody with more than 20GB of songs.

Syefri also tagged me, for school.

How many schools did I go to?
I was in SRK Sri Damai for primary school, and SMK Sultan Abdul Samad PJ for secondary school. Yeah, that gangster school.

Was I the studious nerd, or the last minute hero?
I looked like a studious nerd but was really a last minute hero.

Was I the class ‘taiko’ or the teacher’s pet?
I was a wallflower.

What was the biggest rule I broke in school?
I skipped school assembly to hang out in the computer club room. Nope, none of that juvenile stuff. I’d have to cross a football field to get to the bad side of school.

Three subjects I enjoyed.
English, Modern Mathematics (because it was easy compared to Additional Mathematics) and Physics, with the great Ms. Foong.
English, Sejarah (enjoyed sleeping in it) and Komputer.

Three teachers that inspired me.
That great Ms. Foong, some other teacher who came in to save our souls on Additional Mathematics, and the late Mr. Lee who said many times as we were caught hanging out in the computer club:
“If you’ve got nothing to do, don’t do it here.”

I tag anybody who reads this who was ever in the same school as me.

Fitness For Free

6 Replies

JC: Hello Albert? This is JC from California Fitness.
Albert: Yes, speaking?
JC: You know your friend Cheneille? She gave us your number.
Albert: Ah yes yes, I know her.
JC: Ah yes. Anyway, we would like to offer you a one week free trial at our gym. You can come, try out our equipment and facilities for free.
Albert: Oh yes I’d love that, but well… One Utama is a bit inconvenient for me.
JC: Oh no no sir! We are in Midvalley sir. Are you free to come over?
Albert: No, not this week; how about next week?
JC: Sure, I’ll call you on Monday.

He never did call. 🙁

And yes, I knew California Fitness was in Midvalley. 😀 But hey, don’t people unfit-financially-for-gym mix up anything that’s not Fitness First?

Still, I got my abs, and my muscular-looking legs. Why? Because I walk. Because I take the stairs. Because I help carry computers around. Because unlike certain people, I do not insist on parking closest to the gym.

Ah Broke Mah Back Mountin’

8 Replies

So I was watching this ‘ere Brokeback Mountain, just to see exactly fer mahself how boring it would be to a straight women-loving man such as mahself, as all my straight guy friends said that it was boring as heck. However, some lassies with queer friends might beg to differ. And queer folk, they be obviously loving it.

As the movie screen filled up with enough sheep to count to solve mah current amnesia, I wunnered who the aggressor/initiator would be. Y’know, who be shooting the gun. Would it be Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal fer those of y’all who ain’t into the habit of rememberin’ names), who was checkin’ Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) out in the first scene?

Well tumble mah weed, it all happened in the dark, so I didn’t remember who was doin’ who, but they went straight to their business.

Other than that, an’ some friendly camaderie, it was just a lot of grass. Ah took a peek at the clock. Forty-two minutes. Phew. there I was, thinking it would be just half an hour past. That ain’t half bad.

Ennis Del Mar: This is a one-shot thing we got goin’ on here.
Jack Twist: It’s nobody’s business but ours.
Ennis Del Mar: You know I ain’t queer.
Jack Twist: Me neither.

There is but just one doggone thing wrong with that, and I be telling ya what it is.

They ain’t championing bull manure. They are championing chicken manure. What ah mean is, both of them, y’see, they ain’t, y’know… born queer. They just did something there then, they got married and got kids and all, and they meet up ev’ry now and then and have a go at it.

And it’s a newfangled fad that they say nowadays in town, you be born queer. This here, it ain’t helping. It ain’t so bad if they were born queer, then we put our hats down fer them, we say they can’t help it. But with this, it just meant to show, they just ain’t got the balls to take the sheep they were guarding instead.

So, the moral of the story, kids, is, well, not there. Empty revolver.

Well, at least, if ya fancy Anne Hathaway (that’s the Princess Diaries star), ya get to see her hooters in this one. And that, now kids, is why it ain’t that boring after all.