I am evil.
I must let it out and let the world know. In a way, this is my confession to the world, hoping for forgiveness. If I told a priest, he wouldn’t tell anybody but God. Here I am, telling the whole world. For your own good.
Here’s the story:
At the office, I drink water. Lots of water. I get called the fireman for having a 500 ml bottle (those short, tinier ones) and a 1.5 l bottle on my desk. I fill it up with water at the pantry nearby, then slowly down the bottles.
One fine day, one of my colleagues (name withheld) was not feeling well and needed to take pills. The obvious choice to glug down the pills with would be my bottle, so she asked me for permission while opening the 500 ml bottle and pointing to it. I just gave a blank, blur stare (like it wasn’t my bottle) and mumbled something sarcastic about the pills (we were already spiking each other, heh).
Later, after she swallowed the pill and drank from my bottle, she asked me again if I was okay with her drinking from my bottle, while placing the bottle back in its place. I gave a blank stare, and then asked her, “Notice how I always drink from the big bottle?”
“Oh shit.” (Or something to similiar effect). She ran out, troubled.
She came back with a vengeful smirk. She then admitted that she forced herself to throw up because she was so disgusted with the thought that it had been anybody else’s water (not that my water is that clean, compliments aside, but there are month-old bottles lying around!)
She then took my bigger bottle with another pill. I then told her that the smaller bottle was mine. Heh. “I prefer to drink from the bigger bottle because it’s got a bigger neck and a better grip.” That was the bomb. Oh yeah. I am mean.
Conclusion? Don’t take everything I say too seriously, especially if I say it with an eyebrow smirk. 😉
Oh yeah. But seriously, I can be unnoticeably sarcastic. Really deadpan. So much that when I try to reply sarcasm with more, they ask me if I really believed their sarcasm!
Randomly rambled quote:
I say whatever I want, not because I can get away with it, but because people have come to accept me as what I am.