Category Archives: Geek

Thinketh Me Writeth

Hi I’m Albert and I have a big head
Physically; metaphorically
I’m human but I look alien instead
With their intellectual capacity
So what’s the big deal if I am a nerd?
Is it very wrong to be logical?
Why do we fear theories that are unheard
Or bother to be philosophical?
Why shouldn’t walnut-sized brains be better
Since CPUs get powerful shrinking?
Why should we let ancient rolls of paper
Constrain and prevent us from questioning?
Do we wait one more Renaissance to ask?
It’s sad – evolution’s no easy task

Top Ten Signs You Didn’t Hire A Real Programmer

  • He starts counting from 1.
  • His expression does not evaluate to null.
  • He doesn’t show his file extensions.
  • His programs are bugless the first time around.
  • His idea of “programming” is arranging playlists in WinAmp.
  • He speaks in an understandable language.
  • He has fixed work hours, and actually comes and leaves at the correct time.
  • He believes WYSIWYG is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
  • He plays sports (unless he works for EA Interactive.)
  • He puts spaces in filenames.

Top Ten Signs You’ve Made a Bad Plugin Player Model

  • Strangely enough, your model gets listed among the top ten model downloads.
  • You play as it just to take advantage of other players puking.
  • You resort to playing with bots because real-life players keep taunting you.
  • When you do, it’s always the lowest skill bot.
  • You feel guilty for taking up space on more than 15 mirrors.
  • You shoot it on sight even if it was on your team.
  • You blast its corpse repeatedly.
  • You get so much negative remarks that you can make a top ten list.
  • On servers without kick ability, players often connect and disconnect quickly.
  • Your model is always mentioned in the same sentence as “inside joke”.

What Bill Gates would say in Quake deathmatch

  • Well look who’s antichrist now!
  • I’ll give you a billion free greenbacks for the location of the BFG!
  • How dare you take advantage of Windows crashing?
  • See! I told you! Minesweeper is a lot more fun!
  • If only Id would support dual monitors for front and back view!
  • Like, I accidently pressed the Start button, okay?
  • I hope you have plenty of Illegal Operations!
  • Psst… a multiplayer cheat… press Ctrl-Esc…
  • That does it! I’m buying over Id Software!
  • Dang PS/2 COM port IRQ conflict!
  • First DOS. Then Windows. But now I keep crashing into walls!
  • This program is against the norm! 640K should be enough for everybody!
  • I don’t like the gloomy textures in this map. I prefer clouds… clouds with windows…
  • John Carmack’s the real villian here…
  • This bloatware runs (er, I mean crawls) on my PowerPC! (er, I mean Pentium III)

More Geek Talk!

I stayed up to download Opera 6 and this is what I get?

Opera 6 is no more compliant with my website, formatting-wise, than the previous Opera 5.12!

It’s just two lines of geek talk – I hope the rest of you non-techie people don’t mind.

Anyway, I’ve added two links to my About Me section. They are, in no particular order:

Sanity Hills – a refreshingly creative, humor-laden blogger, and;

A programming wizard as well as musically inclined DJ Phuturecybersonique.

I didn’t even know the latter linked to me until I checked his site to link to him!

P.S. No golden star sticker for the dudes featured or linked above.

Compliance – Not Bad!

Warning: Extremely website developer technical talk ahead.

Click here to skip the jargon.

For all the fun, and all the curiosity, I’ve installed Netscape Navigator 6.2.2, Opera 5.12 and K-Meleon 0.6 (a lighter version of Mozilla) just to test whether my site would look right in it.

All the pages looked fine (duuuh, I hand-coded them) but some skins have weird artifacts.

Infinity animates in Internet Explorer 4 onwards and Opera, but doesn’t on the other 2 browsers. I was surprised that Opera pulled off such JavaScript well!

Blue, Under Construction and Classic all work fine in all browsers. Somebody get me a golden star sticker to put on my site!

Green (which is currently the default skin) doesn’t sit in well in the topleft corner of Opera 5.12. (I suppose Opera 6 would have better CSS support.) I could actually get rid of the margin, but it would be against the laws of valid HTML 4.01, and I wouldn’t be able to keep the geeky icon at the bottom of my Green skin. 🙁

Frame only looks correct in Internet Explorer; every other browser puts scrollbars everywhere. Opera won’t even let me get out of the frame; apparently somebody needs to teach them what TARGETs are for. Netscape won’t load pages on top of frames; instead it opens a new window. Only K-Meleon gets with the program on this one.

Mirror looks nice in every browser, but the namesake’s effect shows only in Internet Explorer.

Not bad for compliance, huh? The only really un-user-friendly skin would be Frame, but even then, that can be adjusted with some nifty JavaScript. Heh.

Which browser, you may ask, is most compliant with my website? Internet Explorer, duuuh! However, every other browser has it as a tie – Infinity shows correctly in Opera, but a simple thing like CSS margins in Green is not supported in Opera! Frame looks distorted in every other browser.

On a side note, it’s a pleasant surprise to see Netscape Navigator have link highlighting (you know, those dotted lines around links when you choose them?)

There you go. You’ve passed the geek talk. You are verrry brave. Here, have my golden star sticker. 🙂

Flip Me Off

Time for some recreational activity for your tired beady eyes! Work them eyebags away with the latest form of occupational therapy – mirrored blogs!

Click here: Mirror me oh vanity!

Take the challenge – read my blog backwards! Reply with the screen backwards! Don’t cheat by bringing a mirror, will ya?

Important Note: To reverse the effect, click on the mirror on the top with the symbol <-> on either the top or bottom of the page!

* Requires Microsoft Internet Explorer 4 or later.

Dangit, I am such a showoff. At least I have something to show. 😛

Mucho Updato

I’ve updated!

On the site:
1) My Models page – I love CSS and its float:left property! Look at how the Models page adjusts the images when you resize your browser! Cool eh?

2) My Quotes page – I’ve properly marked the sections and their distinctions. I’ve always categorized them, just without names. Now you know what each one falls under. May you have divine interpretations! 😉

On my PC: (yeeeaaaahhh!!!)
(Warning: Technical words ahead.)
1) My ASUS A7A 266-E motherboard! This is like the only motherboard (besides a questionable Matsonic) that has both Double Data Rate SD RAM and classic SD RAM slots! I’m using my old Kingmax 256 Megabyte 150 Megahertz SD RAM stick until DDR RAM prices go down, and then I’ll upgrade again!

2) My AMD Athlon XP 1800+! It seems to have paired my ailing Voodoo3 2000 PCI pretty well, and I haven’t seen below 30 frames per second in any game I’ve tried so far!

On my life: (er…)

Oh joy. Accounts exams coming. Two people I know are already failing it. Should I?

I’ve also had a few quotes come in a barrage. Seems like it’s enlightenment time. Read my Duh-vana sonnet to become one with the unknowledgable! For all you need to know, you actually don’t!

Quote of this er… post: “Love is not as blind as hate.”

I hope you guys can figure that one out properly. 😛