FUGGING AWESOME.

Batman Begins is the ultimate prequel.

You know how say, a Movie #1 has the discovery and rise of a hero? And then Movie #2 and #3 are plodding by because the hero is already oh-so-great and established, and it never lives up to Movie #1’s expectations?

This is the bestest Movie #1. I’d put my grammar on that.

Everything is explained. If something doesn’t make sense, it will, later. The beginning started with cool comic-book-deep monologue, but not too draggy, and action, but not too draggy either. It wasn’t till the end that the ridiculous Batman-grandeur supervillian plan was hatched, but by then, you kinda dig the bad guy’s goatee too much.

Yes, Jayaram, I might just take your advice. If only I had a white goatee.

Plus the show has very little soppy uncalled-for love action, and none of that fad-ish hip hop music. Play spot-the-Senator-and-Magneto-lookalikes from X-Men!

Of course, many many thanks to Lex (who is guestblogging on Pennypupz and I’ve updated links in my About Me! page). Yes she is a real person and very much animate (and a bit too animate at times) despite me seeming not to reply to her comments. Also thanks to Leech who finally leeched a free ticket off me, for making a few wrong turns and parking in reserved spots, (well it’s not reserved after 6pm but who reads signs?) and for giving me a lift.

And no, watching any other Batman movie will be a major letdown, so if you’re going to see Batman Begins, every other one will be spoiled, which isn’t a bad thing because few liked Batman Forever. The rest will merely be superhero flicks.

My MSN nickname is now:
I’d eat guano to make sure you watch Batman Begins. It’s that awesome.
Which has some continuity with:
If you have any poo, fling it now. (from Madagascar, a light-hearted 3D cartoon. Why didn’t they have any lemur merchandise anywhere? Ali G rocks!)

Oh and on Sunday I went for Peter Tan‘s blog meet a bit late, at 2pm, but sorry man, Batman diverted my blogging euphoria so uh… you can read about it on his blog and the links there.

A Lot Like Love is a romantic comedy starring Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Peet… except that things are not thrown in your face (except the many smooching scenes.)

Anyone would notice that on the plane, the lights on the two stars are brighter. Fewer would notice Ashton being the only guy dressed in light blue (when he gets the call) while everyone else in the office is drab dark grey.

Even more interesting is how the scenes and years cut to each other. You are suddenly thrown into a scene where a SUV is being towed next to a sea. Did they drive it into the sea? A dialogue later explains what happened. You think they merely kissed in the airplane toilet? Later dialogue makes you think otherwise.

Bloody heck, I think they ripped off the narration sequencing from my blog.

Notice how I go, “So I lost at pool. I paid for Joseph’s dinner.” instead of the usual, “Joseph and I went to play pool. I lost. I paid for his dinner.” (This is the simplest example; I unintentionally reverse the order.)

Yes, it was cool to have a movie not tell you everything and yet not be the Matrix Trilogy.

“There are many more fish in the sea.”

Why do they call it fishing? As in, the act of a guy getting a girl? They make fishing sound like an active activity rather than a passive activity. (Passive activity, what an oxymoron!) You sit, you throw your rod, and you wait. What skill is there required to hold it? You’re not actively catching fish. Unless of course you bring a net or a bomb.

I just realized why guys keep long hair long.

The transition from schoolboy cut to “owww hair irritates my eyes” to “ewww hair irritates my nose” is memorable but hardly worth doing again.

“Woi when are you going to cut you hair?”

I don’t know, maybe when I know what to do with it. When it gets this long you’d think it’s not worth wasting all that effort for comfort.

So if it gets any longer I’d dye it some rare color (because I’m a cool conforming individualist) and get dreadlocks. If I could only choose one, I’d probably choose dreadlocks.

I haven’t had a proper trip to the Indian barber since June 2004.

Men keep long hair because they can’t stand anything in between short and something they can tuck behind their ears. I’m getting there, though pictures don’t really show it.

Headbanging is totally different when you can feel entire flaps of hair fly up, ventilating your scalp. Apparently, it looks cool too.

ON a side note, why do people spell the consumer electronics brand as Cannon and the local underground band as Frequency Canon?

If I had the testicular fortitude to quickly take out my digital camera and snap a picture, my account of this would be more believable.

I was walking about the grand new Borders in Berjaya Times Square when I saw a typo – Programming Languagues. However, nearby, was another section – Foreign Languages.

In case you wonder, I am not a book person. I don’t read on the bus; I sleep. I don’t read books at Starbucks while looking yuppie; I enjoy the drinks at Coffee Bean (yes it says something about my preference too.) I don’t read computer books (and I don’t recommend buying them either). I use Google to search for free tutorials instead. Why buy a computer book when you’re not going to read all its pages?

Okay so I do read about 3-4 issues of In.Tech every morning, but those are issues from over a year ago. (My mom kept them for me but I never got round to reading them.) It’s fun to read and see if how cheap the gadgets they review have become. It’s fun to read of upcoming technology that never made it. Or not.

I was reading the papers and I shall now attempt a social commentary blog entry like every other blogger twice my age.

Members of the Parliament (whoa, Albert uses this word and isn’t referring to George Clinton and band) were discussing how to eradicate the drug problem. Pre-Independence opium islands, free drugs to quench demand… I’m not sure how those will help. If you had a choice to be departed to a happy land for free, wouldn’t you? Who is to say you’ve had enough? And when you have had enough, do they boot you off the island, and if so, where the heck can you go?

Will they reject my entry because I look drugged enough?

What about the casual users? People who go to a party and take a puff?

Jasmine asked me once (for a project) what the best drug prevention was – education, enforcement or parental guidance. Apparently enforcement doesn’t seem to be working. I’m sure you know someone who knows someone who can get weed. Or maybe you don’t know it yet. Heck I knew a supplier who went for National Service. Well at least they smoked the skema-ness out of the innocent. (Skema meaning the innocent naive sheltered kids.)

Education? Smokers know the cancer stick is bad; that doesn’t stop them. “Hey come to Assunta Hospital and visit me lah… I’ve got bronchitis.” The next time I met her was in a cafe in Bangsar, smoking a cigarette. True story, kids.

Parental guidance? My parents never drilled anti-drug messages in me. It’s a wonder I’m so clean then. 🙂

This goes against my Malaysian freeloading spirit but hey, anything that can be bad for you should not be free.

Speaking of which, Celcom, a mobile phone service provider, has a new plan that lets you send SMSes for free between midnight and 6am.

You: Hey um I’ll be right back.

Are you back from the shop yet? Are you going to update me with your new number?

While this is infinitely cheaper than 1 sen per SMS, you’d find it a bother. Already I’m getting random missed calls from bored idiots on cheap prepaid cards. Now that you can SMS for free, imagine what you could do! Your friends not on Celcom 013/019? Well then, make new friends! You can afford to SMS any random 013/019 number until you get a response. 7 digits means 9 million numbers! Imagine if you got a 0.1% success rate. 9 thousand numbers. Supposing you asked them, “haizzz do u cum fr tmn cahaya ?? wanna go fr mamak ???”

Supposing 10% were from the Klang Valley, and 1% of them were from Taman Cahaya. That makes 90 people. If 60 of them are bored teenagers who are locked at home, that leaves 30 people. If 15 were girls and they couldn’t walk out of their house fearing that they would be raped, or worse, their free-SMS phone would be stolen, that leaves 15 males. Congratulations, you have found yourself mamak buddies! Who needs Friend Finder now?

Me: Hey um I’ll be right back.

Oh and I was standing in a bus when this bleached jeans-wearing, blonde haired Ah Beng asked me, “would you like a seat first?” He then got up to let me enter the seat next to the window (he was on the aisle seat.) Most astonishing considering we were going to Bintang Walk, which was all the more reason for him to assume I could speak Chinese. How did he know that I couldn’t?

My preferred definition of Altruism: Instinctive cooperative behavior that is detrimental to the individual but contributes to the survival of the species.

I think I can safely say that altruism is my religion. God, or the natural goodness, exists in everybody, and it wouldn’t hurt to be excellent to each other. It’s like karma in a way. What’s good… no wait, what’s bad goes around. Bad things tend to snowball.

What about life and death? I’ve had this theory since I was 13. There is no hell or heaven. Life is a form of energy (closest in form to chemical energy), and as energy cannot be created or destroyed, when we die we are merely reborn in the nearest lifeform, like the bacteria feeding on our dead body. When that bacteria dies, you may be reborn as another bacteria. If you’re lucky, you’ll cross over to being a fly. How do you become human again? Die as your parents’ pubic lice.

Now given that the world’s population is increasing, where is this extra energy coming from? The trees and animals that we make extinct from expanding our backyards. Don’t forget the millions of microorganisms in a cubic centimeter. I haven’t even taken into consideration that energy can change from one form to another.

Bluffing, in this case, is not “eh are you bluffing me?” but the art of pretending to look smarter than you are.

Case 1

Ever bumped into a familiar person and forgot his/her name? No problem!

You: What’s up duuude?
(Name has been withheld from lousy memory): Heyyy!
You: How’ve you been?

You then go into conversation, as if you greeted the person by name. Well even if you don’t remember their name, you remember where you’ve met them and what you’ve done together, right?

Whatever you do, do not start with:

You: Heyyyyy I know you! (This line just reeks of “I forgot your name!“-ness.)

It’s even easier when you’re with a friend. Do not introduce them to each other – let them introduce themselves. Then, as you go on separate paths, you say, “See ya (name withheld)!”

Case 2

A person is looking at you with that expression that says that you’re familiar, but you don’t recognize him/her.

You: Heyyy! Do I know you from somewhere? (Yes, get his/her hopes up and act.)
(Person who thinks you’re familiar): Er yeah! I know you from…
You: Oh sorry, I don’t go to/I don’t hang out at/I’m not into… (That’s your exit line.)
(Person embarrassed): Oops sorry, wrong person then.

By then he/she would have walked away, embarrassed.

Case 3

You recognize the person, but you’re not sure that it’s him/her.

You: Heyyy! Do I know you from somewhere? (Pretend that you’re sure it’s him/her.)

There are two cases:

(Familiar person): Yeah! I know you from… (You should rejoice and know what to do then.)

The second case:

(Familiar person): Er… no?
You: Oops sorry, wrong person then.

Do not run off embarrassed.

Whatever it is, do not greet the familiar person by name. Don’t go, “Heyyy aren’t you (insert wrong name)?” If it’s not him/her, you will look like a fool.

I went for my medical checkup yesterday with my colleagues. Now, the word medical checkup as defined by American sitcoms consist of a few tests including one where the examiner puts on gloves and asks you to take off your pants.

* Names have been initialized for privacy

J was the first to be called in.

Me: Did they, y’know… (makes a putting-on-gloves gesture)
J: I’m… not… a… virgin… anymore… (while walking funny)
Me: Ow! Did they make you sit in any position?
J: She made me bend over. She also said, “Eee! So small! So cute! Make it blink!”

J was called in again, to take a blood test and answer questions.

He came out with both elbows folded, fists pointing upwards.

“He poked the left at first. Then he was like “Oops no blood!” and then he poked the right.”

My blood test wasn’t as unfortunate. I didn’t look as he swabbed it. The doctor said, “Hmmm, this will be a bit messy.” At least there was blood. 🙂

I also found out that I had high levels of sugar. Like, diabetic levels. I was taken aback by that, since I wasn’t a chocolate or coffee junkie! I’d rather have chips than sweets! All I have in the mornings is a Teh Tarik and Soya Bean in the evening. A possible culprit would be the sweets I consume around the office, but that can be forsaken.

This morning, I had my first ever Teh Tarik Kurang Manis (tea with condensed milk, but less sweet this time). For lunch, I endured the office cafeteria’s no-sugar-added orange juice. (One would usually pour in some sugar to mix.)

I’m scared. Really. I don’t wanna jab myself with insulin everyday! The reason why I’m not a druggie is because I can’t swallow pills, I can’t inject myself, I have a sensitive nose (pass *koff* that *koff*joint*koff*) and I am naturally stoned around the smell of cigarette smoke.

Free tickets, to those who have plenty, have always been a curse.

What? Free tickets? Oh anyway Constantine was nice, confusion withstanding… cool effects, a storyline that will take a while to sink in (and perhaps, people who have watched it three times to explain it to you…)

To raZZbeRRy: Here’s an eligible cabbie (the one I met last Valentine’s Day…)

Yes, plenty of random pictures will come later.