Category Archives: General

Digital Back

1 Reply

I’m back!

Thanks all for checking, and for entering your email address to get an update when the site is back up. I know it’s usually something you’d skip out of laziness.

Geek Explanation, Skip If Not Geek

How did I take up too much bandwidth? It must’ve been when Google decided to link to my yearly archives, which have a lot of pictures. It decided to do so for its image search, too. Hence, anybody searching for something that might come to my site… would get my entire archive, ultimately killing my bandwidth.

Thus, I have disabled the yearly archive feature; you can only view archives by month, and to view pictures you’d have to click [Click here to show pictures.] in the top-right corner. Also, the archives are no longer dynamic, and are cached HTML files.

I have also made it mandatory to add 2 to 3 the first time you post a comment. This should help with those annoying spambots.

Some of the pictures are not up yet; they’re still being reuploaded.

The much, much worse news is, I accidentally overwrote the new database with an old backup… which wiped out all comments from 9th March 2007 onwards. 🙁 Thousand apologies for that!

XX And XX Is XX Cubed

Leave a reply

The set up: Me and my friend sitting at a table at McDonalds, KL Sentral.

She: So, right, I have this friend, let’s call her Jenny. She confessed her feelings for me! So uuugh. “Remember the time we were in the karaoke, and I groped your boobs?”

Me: WOW! What does she look like? Do you have her picture?

She: No, but she’s quite pretty lah. Sporty looking. Quite toned.

Me: Hot damn, you should set us up. Who knows, she might dig my long hair and pallid complexion. Plus I have an emo look.

She: Please lah. I am damn scared of her already. She freaks me out, you know. She’s been begging me. “C’mon, you haven’t tried it before, who knows you might like it? Besides, you have plenty of bisexual friends…”

In between conversation, she was watching me finish the Rubik’s Cube. She did not blink the entire time.

Later, I went over to KLCC, and she sent me a message.

“OMG guess what! Jenny messaged me! She said, I saw you in KL Sentral. So that’s where you’ve been.”

Shit, there goes my chance of meeting her hot friend. How ironic! She was in the vicinity!

Many months later.

She: Oooh remember Jenny? I met her!

Me: Ooooh ooooh! Where how what when?

She: Another friend said she wanted to meet me up. So I went to Secret Recipe expecting the other friend… but it was Jenny instead.

Me: HOT DAMN! She set you up! Cunning(lingus!)

She: Yeah! So I told her I had to study, and so I sat there and started revising. She just sat there and looked at me the whole time!

Me: I’m guessing she’s just happy to see you. Just to look at you. To be in your presence!

She: Uh… yeah. And you know what? She brought out a Rubik’s Cube!

Me: HOT DAMN! The original one? With a sticker that says 25th Anniversary?

She: Yes yes that one!

Me: I can’t even find it anymore! They used to stock it in Toys R Us in Malaysia but I can’t find it anymore!

She: Yeah! So she said, “You really like this, right? I bought this for you.”

In between laughing at how Seinfeld-ish this whole situation was, I thought her gesture was really, really sweet.

* Conversation might have been exaggerated, after all no names were named.

Will Ferry

1 Reply

Seriously now, I might fall into a volcano in pursuit of a picture.

And so, if I don’t return, I hereby bequeath the following items to my family members:

My savings – my mom. She knows the banks and knows where it all goes.

My cameras, lenses and accessories – my sister. Last I calculated they go in the five-digit range, so if you don’t know what to do with it, ask Xian Jin. He would also know the value of each and know how much to sell each item accordingly.

My main right-side computer – my sister. My brother has practically taken over the left-side computer anyway. Yes, I have two computers side-by-side.

My magazines, CDs, VCDs, DVDs and mobile phones – my sister. She’s the magazine junkie.

My Transformers and other toys – my brother. Last I calculated they total in the four-digit range Mint-In-Box, so find the matching box in the stack of boxes in the room and sell them on TransMY.

My stash of alcohol – Su Ann. She willed me her Bacardi. *sniff*

Everything else – my dad. I don’t know what else there is, really.

Presuming I have fallen into the volcano, I would already be ash. If not, I’d like to donate my organs. Though I think that would require proper registration somewhere. The leftovers should be ashes, I don’t like taking up space and making you guys come back to clear the weeds that grow on my burial plot.

What volcano?

Tangkuban Perahu!

Anyway, I’m heading to Bandung, Indonesia this 14th to 17th of June 2007 for a travel-and-food-expenses-paid company trip. I’ll be overnighting at the office on Wednesday the 13th as the bus leaves ASTRO at 3am, and the flight is at 7:30am so that’s probably the last time you can send me SMSes telling me to buy stuff for you.

I’ll be landing in Jakarta first, so anybody who can provide leads as to where I can find Krispy Kreme nearest to the airport will be compensated with a donut of equivalent value in Malaysia. (Yes, I have not tried it.)

Also, do any of you silent blog readers know where I can find second-hand camera shops in Bandung? I’m looking for old, second-hand, rare lenses of about any mount. Maybe even cheap rangefinders and twin-lens-reflex cameras. I regret not getting the 500mm F8 reflex lens for M39 mount I saw a long time ago in Buy Sell Trade PJ Oldtown!

On a side note, I always found the Indonesian language to sound very… annoying. Bisa to me, means poison. Argh. Indon rock annoys me. Indonesians with parangs in the news annoy me. The one thing that doesn’t annoy me, is Indomee. Gotta remember to try it there.

Albot

Leave a reply

Everytime I’m in a new situation, I imagine that I am Robocop or Terminator analysing the surroundings and variables. Similarly, without much more than a casual glance at printed paragraphs of text, green and red zigzag lines appear ala Microsoft Word.

No wonder people say I’m robotic. In other news, the new batch of Movie Transformers are looking sweeter than ever. This is another filler post blogged entirely on my Nokia N70.

No Sweat

Leave a reply

This post was meant for Saturday, to keep my one-post-a-day record, but I broke it by not blogging from my phone as originally intended.

There was many a time I have been proud that I do not sweat much.

Then, I realized that I do sweat in polo shirts and shirts with more than 2 buttons (which is rare, so make sure you take every oppurtunity to camwhore with such a perspiring Albert).

Then I realized that I rarely wear polos and button-ful shirts. Every other guy probably wears them more often, and thus propagate the idea of men being sweaty pigs.

It’s not true, they’re just trying to look nice. If you would stop staring at their drenched sleeves.

Oh and for the record, it is good to make a girl sweat. 😉

In Other News

Somebody thought I was a spy.

What me Albert a spy? I don’t even remember what a martini tastes like! I talk into my phone, not my shoe! (Though the part about getting it on with hotties might be about right.)

“Who do you work for?” he asked.

Yes, my camera does bring some attention, but no, I don’t take spy shots; I am a voyeur, and if I am flashing the crowd it is just to shoot some random chick.

O Sim-ulation

Leave a reply

As a connoisseur of massage equipment, whose fine practice has been refined back while waiting for ever-so-punctual friends, I can thereby declare OSIM’s uPilot… the best there is.

This effectively dethrones their previous top model, the iDesire. With hand massagers that looked like a comfortable bondage chair, and a distinct head-slapping program towards the end, a grown man could experience what it is to just lay back for 15 minutes and have an orgasm.

OSIM is the only massage equipment company that has successfully made products that consistently make me feel good even when I get up. Some hurt me and feel good after I get up; some feel good but hurt after I get up.

So what’s new with the uPilot? Ultimately, the joystick lets you control the rollers/slappers. You can make it sink into the couch for less power, or make it push you up. You can shift it from your lower back to your neck.

Yes, just like telling the masseuse to go up a bit and work on your shoulders.

A good massage is usually of the harder variety. Anyone who has ever been for the real thing would know. Don’t tingle and giggle. The octopus/jellyfish move, which creeps up the scalp, is tingly at first, then you brace the fact that having your brains sucked out like a coconut is bliss.

Some ask how I do it so well. Simple – you massage a friend like you wish you’d like to be massaged at that moment. It works. Heck there have been times where I’d need a massage bad, but headed over to knead some random colleague and I’d feel much better.

When I am old and retired, I will want to have children who are a benefit to society. I wouldn’t want just a dumb corporate slave. I already won’t force them into boring stuff like accounts or law (though, if they go into law hardcore, I don’t want to pick up death threats for them.)

At the very least, they should earn enough to buy me a massage chair.

Promiscuous-tee

Leave a reply

And now, for a contest!

The first female who can tell me what the word “promiscuous” means will win a free baby-T.


Yes, the one Natalie is wearing. It says “promiscuous girl” on the front, nothing on the back, full black, cotton, S size.

Of course, if you can prove to me that you are a promiscuous girl, you will get it first. 😉

And yes, I did a survey, and found that most girls singing the horribly catchy tune did not know what it meant.

How did I get it? I entered the VIP area of the hitz.fm 10th Birthday Bash, and I got a goodie bag. I thought it was the “JJ and Rudy Gotcha’ed me and all I got was this lousy awesome T-shirt” (for guys) but got this one instead.

Terms and conditions: I should have an idea who you are and how to pass you the shirt in person. 😛

Dance, Dance

Leave a reply

So You Think You Can Dance? live at Ruums, 3rd May 2007. Yeah, I have finally got to speed with this month yay!

Invites thanks to Davina who thinks she can dance, too. Thank goodness she got back to me, or a bouncer would be asking

Ice, Ice Baby

Leave a reply

I was on the PUTRA LRT on evening, from Pasar Seni to KL Sentral, standing next to a glass pane. A white-haired Chinese man with glasses sat on the seat just behind the glass. From where I stood, I had a bird’s eye view of his balding head.

He coughed profusely, and I could not help but look. He was typing a message:

To: Ice wife, Mary
On the train now
going to reach
the station.

I snickered.

Maybe when I’m married and old, I’ll call my wife an Ice wife, too.

It was then that my mom messaged me, and I realized why he called her Ice wife! My mom was ICE in my phonebook.

In the UK, people save a loved one’s number as ICE, short for In Case of Emergency. This is so that if you suddenly collapse in the street, a paramedic/hospital staff can dial the number saved as ICE and ask if the person has any allergies and health complications, etc. (My dad’s not the toxicologist in the family and can’t remember what each member’s allergies are, plus he doesn’t carry his phone around, so he’s not the ICE, ICE baby.)

There’s also a hoax going around saying that if you save a number as ICE you’ll get charged premium rates. Ignore those.

And now, for a random conversation quip inspired by the very funny Just Sewjin:

Kingsley, Asyraf and I were having supper.

Albert: So, right, I was in Bentley Music back in 2004, and I was showing MW which electric guitar I wanted to buy, the lickable butterscotch Ibanez GSA 370-QM, and then I realized there and then that it had 22 frets and not 24! I was dashed!
Kingsley: Oh man!
Asyraf: Er, what’s the difference between 22 and 24 frets?
Albert: It’s like uh… the difference between a 50mm F1.8 and a 50mm F1.4 lens.
Asyraf: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Okay, so it’s not funny. But his blog is.

Here’s a lazy pimp to something for otakus, but because Dustyhawk calls me an 455 I’ll just put one link.
C2AGE: Cosplay, Comic, Anime and Games Convention