Category Archives: Travelling

Sucker For Massage

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So I was bored, after getting a 1 Gigabyte Dual-Voltage Reduced-Size Multi-Media Card for my Nokia N70, and so I went to get the foot massage I intended to get sometime back. Yeah, no more freeloading off OSIM chairs; I wanted to try the real thing!

I walked down the famous Bukit Bintang Road, with all the foot massage parlors. Old ladies with laminated sheets called out. “Want foot massage? RM20 half hour.” they said. Some also said, “Young lady massage. Very nice wan.” I didn’t want any of that. The pictures also showed vacuum tubes and candles. No thanks.

I walked around, and none of the shops looked less seedy than the last.

And so, at the end of the block, I went to the other side, facing BB Plaza. Same rates, same look.

Up the curve, near The Chicken Rice Shop, however, was a Malay foot massage stall! It was open air, so no seedy business. I didn’t see any candles or needles or vacuum tubes, so I sat down on one of those vinyl-strung beach chairs.

A friendly-looking, slightly built looking Malay man attended to me. “Pertama kali?” (First time?) I said yes.

He convinced me to take the one-hour package because apparently, the half-hour one was only on the foot and didn’t get rid of the wind in my legs. Okay, whatever that meant.

He unrolled my trousers up to my knees, poured lotion all over, and started his work. I only cringed when he kneaded the bones with his knuckles.

Halfway through, he brought out a few bamboo-made cups (the size of a coffee mug) with Chinese insignia on them. Eh? He took out a fire torch, dipped it in a bottle of kerosene and lit it with a lighter!

Holding the cup upside down, he put the flaming torch inside the cup (presumably to create a vacuum) and swiftly cupped the cup on my knees, calves and base of my foot. He placed about 10! The torch was a bit too close, so I said, “errr jangan bakar bulu ya…” (don’t burn my leg hair okay?)

Apparently the longer the cups stay, the more wind I have in my feet. Some dropped off sooner than others, presumably it had finished draining the wind? I don’t know.

He timed it just nicely to finish by one hour. He eventually popped off the leftover cups, and the ‘windy‘ spots were red and sore. Massaging them stung a bit.

When I thought it was over, he then reclined my chair all the way. “Releks sikit“, he said.

He then put his legs around mine, as if to ride me like a horse! I instinctively covered my groin.

(And this is where one of my MSN nicknames came in…)

And then he got on top of me and said, “control pisang“.

He then massaged my thighs. I controlled my pisang alright. He then inclined my chair and finished with a short back massage. He also told me not to bathe for that night to keep the warm effect of the massage.

Me, being polite Albert, did not take any pictures of the process, or how cool the cups looked sticking onto my feet. However, I took one after, at home.

I shall hereby give you ample warning for a horrible picture involving my legs and sore bumps.


(See I even shrunk the picture to reduce the traumatizing effect on you readers.)

That Jump Gathering, Part 2

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Jasiminne told me something very interesting at the gathering. I’m not even fully extending my fingers, and yet I believe her theory is wrong, or my fingers are unporportionately shorter than the rest of me.

The plus sign denotes people not originally not on the list, because Jolene said we could bring a friend. People struck out did not come, yeah 14 of 40 invites, or 35% FFK rate.

And now, for Part 2 of that gathering. I shall attempt an attendee list, based on the original list by Tan Yee Hou:

  1. Albert
  2. April
  3. Aprilcherrie
  4. Avril Chan
  5. + Barry (Suet Li’s boyfriend)
  6. + Brandon (Aprilcherrie’s boyfriend)
  7. Calvin
  8. Calvin Tay
  9. Chee Kiang
  10. + Cheesie (*I* invited her okayyy you picture takers you)
  11. Cheng Sim
  12. Chung Lern
  13. Dustyhawk
  14. Elaine
  15. Eliza
  16. Fireangel
  17. Jasiminne Yip
  18. Jason Lioh
  19. Jennifer Ooi
  20. Jolene Lai
  21. + Julie Kuan (from It’s A Group Thing)
  22. Justin Wong
  23. + Kampungkai (Chris) (Jason Lioh’s friend)
  24. Karen Siah
  25. Kimberlycun
  26. Kurt Low
  27. Kyels (Kye Lee)
  28. Laynie (Elaine Chow)
  29. Lainie
  30. Lee Cheng
  31. + Leona (Elaine Chow’s friend)
  32. Mervyn
  33. Eyeris (Michael)
  34. Minishorts
  35. Paul Tan
  36. + Richard Goh (April’s boyfriend’s friend)
  37. + Ronald Li (April’s boyfriend)
  38. Sarah
  39. Slinky (Mun Hoong)
  40. Smallswong
  41. smashpOp (Jason Goh)
  42. Suanie
  43. Suet Li
  44. Tan Yee Hou
  45. The Other Kenny (Kenny Ho)
  46. Vincent
  47. Weng Lum
  48. Yee Pei
  49. Yvonne Foong

That Jump Gathering

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So there was a blog gathering organized by Jolene, and while everybody took pictures, or sat around saying “I’ll steal your pictures later okay?“, I will offer something different other than shots of us at Dome at Midvalley, or jumping on the pedestrian bridge outside Secret Recipe (I suggested the location, yo!)

And so, I present various bloggers, in infrared. I didn’t snap everyone, though. I love infrared portraiture because there are no colors to muck around with, and very little Photoshop needs to be done, since infrared hides your pimples and blemishes and reduces the need to wear colored contacts to look funky.


Left to right, top to bottom:

  • Leech is first because I must thank her for her generous donation of a 16 Megabyte xD Picture Card for my Fujifilm Digital Q1 (I’ll blog about it, and the process of modifying it, later.)
  • Dustyhawk, Leech and I were at Killiney’s, as I wanted to try their hot milk tea and toast (or teh and roti bakar). Nothing compares to Uncle Lim’s still, but this is close.
  • Luzzio, Jolene’s brother.
  • Jasiminne, who uh… doesn’t look different in infrared.
  • Laynie looks like a clown.
  • Suanie eats April Yim‘s strawberry earring (because she can’t hook it on her infected ear, yo!)
  • The Other Kenny looks different in real life.
  • FireAngel is holding two extra fingers up. I think she’s lacking coordination due to general lack of alcohol.


Oh and let’s not forget Cheesie and Sweatlee. If either of you gets casted in a horror movie and gets an award on stage because you were spotted here, please remember to thank me.


Cheesie shows that unlike Korean ghosts who just scare people to death, she is multitalented and is able to play physical killer, too, strangling poor Jasiminne until she turns white.


Of course, nothing beats diligent Tan Yee Hou, who took pictures with almost everybody and listed who came and who didn’t. Yes, people, head over to his blog for the full list.

Regular pictures will come later. As for why nobody knew or publicized it, it was a secret gathering meant for non-PPS-celebrity, young bloggers who haven’t got jobs and cash to splurge on alcohol. I think. But thanks for recognizing me, people!

Rojak Reviews

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Ice Age 2

As I entered the cinema hall, I saw children everywhere. Well it was a kids’ movie, right? I feared the worst, with kids crying and asking silly questions.

However, thank goodness, the movie was good and captivating enough to shush the crybabies and simple enough that there was only one silly question at the end, by a very silly boy – “he didn’t die?” as the squirrel entered the gates of heaven. Nothing a little religious education can’t fix.

I liked that it wasn’t all about the voice actors (Shark Tale) or how the supporting characters were a lot more memorable (Madagascar). I also liked how it wasn’t heavy, or a preachy, emotional epic, like Finding Nemo, Brother Bear or A Land Before Time. Even Chronicles Of Narnia felt heavy. I watch kids movies to be entertained!

Rojak!

Anyway, on Friday, I headed to KLPAC with Elaine and Bernard to watch Rojak!. A bunch of plays, each with its own message. It was also lighter than The Homecoming, thankfully, and the only play tough on the brain was the one with Rauf, guitarist for Flatline.

They started with sales girls trying to pitch their dresses to a customer. Vicious and vivid? Yes. However, they could’ve slowed down the conversation pacing – they didn’t look like did not have to think of the comeback before reciting the comeback (and I believe that makes a world of importance in making a play believable.) Like not taking a breath before the punchline. An example of perfect comic timing? Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

Thankfully, the next one, a conversation at a mamak, was better timed, and didn’t have the pretentious salesgirl accents. The next one, about ah happy family, was very amusing indeed.

Emily KICKED ASS as a prim and proper tai-tai holding a party… where nobody came. The part about RSVPing and then FFKing spoke volumes (since I didn’t originally but the tickets for Elaine and Bernard!)


She played a similiar role on the boat play; always prim and proper and aunty-ish, ironic because I knew she was one of the youngest on the cast.

It was only after the intermission that I started taking flashless pictures. As a challenge, I turned off the live view, so the only light on the camera was the power indicator. I intentionally shot from the hip, just like a lomo camera, so pardon the bad vertical aim! Settings? Manual exposure, 1/30 seconds, brightest aperture, ISO100, and when the actors and actresses came closer to the audience, I had to drop it to 1/60 seconds to avoid overexposing.

The only sound that came out of it was the mechanical shutter, a bit too loud for my liking. A n00bish uncle behind was bip-bopping with his Fujifilm. I almost wanted to offer to silence his camera for him. Elaine wanted to snap too, and I silenced her Fujifilm S7000.


There was a British-like monologue about applying for Malaysian citizenship, another funny one, perhaps magnified in hilariousness by his big glasses.


Then there was the nosy aunty, the mistress and the friend at a funeral.


And oh hello Priya! Ooo, hello nurse!


This was probably the coolest in terms of cinematography, where another actress and a guy act out a flashback. “My father cared for me, I know he did.”


“And then he made love to me.” The nurse recounts a rose-tainted story, but that wasn’t what really happened.


A choral speaking session mocked the Tak Nak! campaign. Reuben (also the producer) was hilarious as the stoner dude.

If I bothered to take pictures as discreetly as everyone else, I’d have better pictures, oh… I know it. Also bumped into Grace the official photographer.

It was only after the show that I discovered why Elaine’s pictures always seemed blurry. Her S7000 was set to manual focus! (And being a big prosumer camera, it remembers the setting because it has its own switch.) I then set it to auto focus. I’d hate to imagine if that thing was on all this while, since she uses Auto mode most of the time! She still posts interesting conversations, so go read her anyway.

Travel-Laine

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Here’s a nice, lengthy blog entry in the vein of travelling. Yeah, that’s why I have a blog category for that, for those stories that eventually become anecdotes, y’know?

Anyway. On Friday, the plan was to bring stim-girl and birthday-girl to the gay bars. Yeah. So I called at 6pm, and birthday-girl was about to head over to stim-girl’s house. In an unrelated daze, I wandered into Amcorp Mall, plunked some coins down for Daytona at the arcade, and released bummerness and frustration… in manual transmission.

See, even in moments of down-ness, I intend to do something that betters me. I’ve been good at automatic and a bit of braked drifting in intermediate, but I was shit at manual, and all that 1-3-4 in the last curve.

So I called birthday-girl at 7pm, and she wasn’t there yet! So I headed to Midvalley out of nothing-to-do-ness. Took the LRT to Bangsar, and hopped onto a free bus. Why’d I go there, despite having been there many times that week? To check out one phone price, in one shop. I have also been checking out digital SLR lenses of late, because really, that matters more than the dSLR body itself. Evil temptation. The Sigma 28-200mm F3.5/6.3 was small and cute, and relatively cheap, though not too far in price from a Canon. Yeah, all the talk about Canon 350Ds has been getting to my head.

I bumped into Jenifur, also walking aimlessly in a I-don’t-go-home-that-early-on-Fridays daze, and we took a bus to Pasar Seni, where I hobbled on to KL Sentral to meet stim-girl and birthday-girl. We took the monorail to Bukit Bintang, and took the scenic walk to Little Havana, place of wonderful hawaiian pizza with extra stretchy cheese and pineapples.

I planned that we’d get a foot massage between then, and the gay bar we were going to. Yes, birthday-girl was a newfound lesbian, and I’d jibe her repeatedly, saying she was gonna get some tonight. Because well, it’s just fun, saying what you’d normally say to a cowardly guy, to a lesbian. Yeah. So I get cheap thrills from different situations.

We didn’t have time for the foot message (oh well, there goes the first ever time I’d pay for a foot massage, since I’ve always been freeloading off OSIM chairs) so we walked past Frangipani, and we reckon it was guy night. Uh, right, pass.

We then got on the newfangled RapidKL buses, quite funky those. Got us to Medan Pasar, right smack in front of Liquid. I was initially apprehensive, thinking it was mostly a gay but not lesbian hangout. However, all apprehensions flew out the window, and I stopped guarding my butt with my hands when I saw how empty it was! (And entry was free, and I’m a sucker for free things y’know.)

Inside, there was a private party in The Studio; there was a big congregation of girls in one corner, and the gays were sitting outside looking cool. The girls got up to dance, and again, I suggested that birthday-lesbian dance with them, since she was checking them out. But she was chicken shit. So we danced together in a sad circle and later lay flat like starfishes, absorbing techno beats from the cushions.

Another friend finally experienced the electro-clash dance rock goodness that is Twilight Action Girl, and so we headed to Zouk in a cab. Oh no, Zouk got smart and started charging RM20 for entry to The Loft on Fridays! Us being broke, we were hesitant about entering, as we would not be able to get a cab back after that.

I then saw DJ Bunga at the entrance (who has the funniest blog ever), and he said, “hey, you went inside justnow, right?”

“Uh… no? How ah?”

I then realized that I was supposed to say YES! and bring me and friends in! We waited another round before getting in for free.

Different types of alcohol do well to give me a good rest on Saturday.

Anyway, Sunday morning; I went to Midvalley to catch V For Vendetta (and catch up) with Leech. She wanted to eat Japanese food, and uh… well, I shall clarify this, as much as I’d hate to have to, knowing how many hot chicks like Japanese food.

I think some Japanese food is a rip-off. Such small units of food! (No wonder Japanese are small.) I don’t fancy seaweed, and Japanese crackers are just a weiiird kind of salty. I’m alright with wasabi though, but I’m allergic to a lot of sea creatures. And hot green tea is served in a tiny cup! (Okay, so I didn’t know it could be refilled.)

Teppanyaki Sungei Wang rocks though. I love the flavor and the whole oily fried meat thing with crispy crunchy things on them. Too bad some people hate taugeh, eh.

Anyhoo, back to V For Vendetta. Cool movie. Too bad they didn’t really explain why people feel the need for control. Control versus freedom will never be a stable seesaw. In a sense, it seemed like an infantile rebel-call. We are just sheep, waiting for someone to lead us.

At least the army is trained, and it knows and understands why it has to move as one unit.


So yeah, we had Bento. With what little knowledge I had learned from some diagrams online, I attempted to eat my large Bento meal using chopsticks. I had to say, that chopsticks allowed me to appreciate food slowly, and bit-by-bit. Whereas if I used a fork and spoon, I’d mix up rice and morsel, and not be able to savor it as intimately as I did with chopsticks, alternating between sauced meat and plain rice.


I hopped on a bus to Central Market, and found these buskers with amplifiers! They even have a mike.


There was also an inebriated man, enjoying the music.


Terima kasih! Yeah brader, you rock too!

The buskers then apologized and said how they meet people from all walks of life.

I then headed to Pertama Complex and finally found a shop that sold the elusive Metallica – Some Kind Of Monster rockumentary DVD. Had to order, though. The only Chinese in the place were the handphone salespeople.

I then met up with Gabra superstar to watch Gubra. He brought some friends, and then some surprises (which you’d see on his blog soon enough).

I prefer the prequel, Sepet, though. Gubra was more life-documentation than Sepet, which was love-progression. And it didn’t help that we came in a bit late, and only saw the other characters much later. They didn’t get much screentime, and only seemed to serve the purpose of rehashing old Petronas ads. Still, that will touch hearts and make us laugh at the irony.

I preferred Gubra’s film quality to V For Vendetta’s. In V For Vendetta, there were a few scenes where there is a conversation between V and Evey, and the film quality changes; for example, when it points to Evey, she has an apparent lo-fi digital motion blur, as if she was being viewed from V, in cyborg-vision. She was also often slightly off-focus. Gubra, however, had no such problems, with well-done focus transitions, and excellent color rendition (though there was a green cast in the outdoor night scenes.)

I think it’s quite scary how I’ve become a Director Of Photography by accident.

I also think it’s quite scary how I’m writing this blog entry; I think I’ve been reading too much Lainie.

Third Stone From Jalan Ipoh

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I live in a housing area in Segambut, near Kepong.

I use public transportation.

I am a guinea pig to the new RapidKL buses, that rolled out in North KL (Kepong, Sentul, Gombak etc.) I could say I was thrilled to be the first.

How does the new system work?

Take a bus from any one of the central stops (Maluri, Titiwangsa, KLCC, Medan Pasar (behind Central Market) or KL Sentral) to another central stop. In my case, Titiwangsa. I then hop on an intermediate shuttle bus that brings me to Metro Prima. Metro Prima is thus the bus hub for Kepong and Manjalara. From there, I take a bus to my housing area.

The buses that route the central stops are 5-10 minutes each. The intermediate shuttles come every 10-15 minutes, and the home-coming bus comes every 15-30 minutes. These are my observations, not something read from their leaflets.

On the downside, it is initially confusing, and you can’t sleep on the bus. I used to take one bus from Medan Pasar all the way to my housing area. I knew its exact times; it always left Medan Pasar at the 15th and 45th minute of every hour, except during peak times. I also knew that the last bus left at 11:15pm.

On the upside, it makes a whole lot of sense. Segmenting the bus routes will segment jams, too; a bus that used to go from A to B to C might get a jam at B. Now, jams delay only the B buses. People actually travel short distance, within a point in A to another point in A, so the jam in B doesn’t affect them. Shorter routes also let the buses be more frequent.

Oh, and the last bus is now 12:30am! Eat that, taxi drivers who charge midnight charge between 11pm and 12 midnight, instead of after midnight! (Oh, and midnight charge is 50% extra, not twice the amount on the meter, kids!)

Anyway, I got on the 2T3 bus from Titiwangsa to Batu Tiga, Jalan Ipoh, where I was waiting for the bus to my place. It was 9:55pm and I was not in any rush, and asked the conductor when the bus would leave. 10:20pm, he said. I took that chance to eat dinner at some roadside stalls nearby.


A chicken burger for RM1.80! Where else can you get that price? Decent sloppy burger.


Super old-school parking meters.

A busker stood in the mainly Chinese crowd and started playing. I went over, dropped a note and asked if he knew Bob Dylan. How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?

As I ate slowly, I saw THREE buses that were headed to my place, pass by. Not bad, not bad.


Inspired, I slung out my guitar. Notice that thing on my hair?


Yes that’s right – a guitar capo! I was shopping around for the spring-loaded one, but couldn’t find one cheap enough that I could afford to lose. Yeah, I tend to lose anything tying my hair, except plain rubberbands.


And this is for those who wonder what my sideburns look like after the 500th-day-haircut.

Anyway, if you don’t like using public transport, then go save up for your own car. Or convince your parents that you’re not traumatized by that road accident anymore. Or get a license. Or walk.

If you don’t have the money, come take the bus with me and I shall impart upon you my virtues of patience.

Troubadours Open Doors and KLPAC Attack

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So I headed down to Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre, Sentul, on the 26th of February 2006, for Troubadours Open Doors. Fazri and I photographically geeked out in the park after that, but that’s another blog entry yet to come.


But first, I wanted to take a picture of the taps with flash, like Cheneille did, where flashing it would turn on all the taps at once, but alas! They changed the taps (note the platforms below the taps.) It was back to traditional methods. Oh yeah? I could still take a picture with all the taps on.


KLPAC is a major beauty, and the show was at Pentas 2. Note how a double bass rests.


Kevin of Broken Scar likes the view.


I loved the lights. Superbly bright spot lighting allowed for comfortable ISO200 shots at 1/20 second exposures.


The floor is his stage, and it is big.


And so we invite Alda, who finally has an excuse to bring out his double bass, to play for Broken Scar.


I am training myself to be ambidextrous; here, Kevin’s camera is used to record a video.


Next up is Ian Chow. No wait, that’s his percussionist.


Yup, this is the man. The man with a voice so powerful he doesn’t need a mike. He also organized the gig, so look for him if you want a spot.


Azmyl Yunor, you know, is a folk legend. He busked in Australia and lectured in Malaysia. He sings folk tales with a Dylanesque drawl. And you know, only Bob Dylan gets the -esque postfix.


Hey that’s Kevin’s guitar! Yeah, noticed the loose G string in the previous picture? It snapped.


Da Praise Project played next. Good comtemporary Christian music.


Cut to bored crowd. Nah, kidding. This shot was taken earlier.


“Hey man, when are we gonna cut to the atmospheric ambient song?”


“Yeah bro, I want to solo.”


“I can’t wait for the funky technoish song.”


Tony Leo, vocalist, obliges to all their requests. After the praise and worship songs, that is.

And in the true spirit of praise and worship songs, we go, “ONE MORE TIME!”

Except, of course, I don’t play more songs. I put more pictures.


From left to right, then top to bottom: Loose cannon; retired cartoon characters; funky-painted stone benches; old meets new; a bush maze; I reached the center and touched the tree of life; those buggers didn’t fill the pond; old stones have peeling moss, gross.


From left to right, then top to bottom: Sad to see old dilapidated stone benches; a twin tower between twin towers; a cow koi fish swims; in the Sentul Park Koi Centre; a metal swan; a stone pond.


From left to right: The metal swan reflects infrared; the trees say, “ain’t nobody gonna hold me down“; a pathway to the Japanese restaurant there.


And now, we head back to Sentul Park for some good ol’ reflections.


“Look ma, no floor!”


I like how the trees bring a new sense of orientation.


More infrared, baby.


Synchronizing swings (man these are big!) and then choosing the smallest aperture (in my camera’s case, F8) will give a slower shutter speed needed for this.

That’s all folks. Go home and spread the word!

Gay? Bah

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Out of the blue, a friend asked on MSN:

albert are you gay?
hahahahaha why
tell me honestly, are you?
why do you think so ah
hmmm
you think i like rainbows? you wanna introduce me to a guy?
do you have frens who are gay?
yes, i have friends who are gay
ok..do you know how diff gay?
how different?
how to differentiate lar
well, gays usually like Mariah Carey
really?
yeah
why arr?
why la you asking
cuz arr…hmmmm im kinda fall for someone lor… frens all suspect he is a gay
then he probably is. 😛
arr?
introduce to me la, then i find out for you 😉
u know why..cuz that’s usually a guy in and out with him, wearing the same design pendant, same hair style
means matching?
hmm… what do u think?
how about his shoes? are they very clean?
yeah. very
OOOOOOOOOO
he’s my instructor lar
instructor for? gym?
yeah
is his hand soft? i mean, like when he talks, does he flop his hand
hmm i didnt notice
means don’t have la? wait wait, why you suspect me aaa?
maybe yes but i didnt notice
how would you know if i am gay?
i dont know… heard from ed long time ago, i couldnt remember
so why did he say that?
hahaha
i mean, he got reasons ah? i mean, i thought i look pretty straight
you heard from Ed… or Shaz?
yo you there?
wait arr on the phone
ok

If I told her I wasn’t, I would not be able to find out why she thought I was gay.

The next day, I watched Actorlympics, where the flamboyant gay guys were the funniest, as always.

The day after that, I was kissed by a guy. Two girls made a deal; “you guys kiss for two seconds, and we’ll make out for 30 seconds.”

It didn’t matter to me whether they did it or not, I’ve been there, seen that. And I didn’t mind a meaningless kiss from between straight guys, because really, in the end, we did it not because we wanted to see them make out, but because they so obviously wanted to make out so badly, and needed some excuse.

But hey, guys kissing are a lot more precious than a mere 30 seconds. And if I wanted to see girls making out in real life without having to kiss a guy, I could hop over to Frangipani when it is their ladies night.

I went to dance, and when I came back, apparently all the guys had kissed each other.

Or maybe they were just getting back at us, as the girls wanted to drop by Frangipani before Zouk.

Finally, I made up for all the gay debauchery on Saturday. Bored of all the Klang Valley malls, I headed to Jusco Seremban 2 (there you have your answer for the sign) with LIMITED EDITION 01. The place smelled of food all over, and it reminded me of Ikano a lot; parallelogram-shaped wide shops and modern, brightly-lit design.

Unfortunately, I am not able to tell a story as imaginative as hers, so I’ll just say we went to watch Pink Panther. It was well-executed slapstick. However, watching Mr. Bean on TV, I still think the British are the best at slapstick and comic timing. In Mr. Bean, for example, the kid uses a remote control to control a toy boat. The remote seems to be spoiled, so Mr. Bean hacks the remote control, and unwittingly makes it take control of a electric wheelchair. He then drives the boat across the pond, with the poor man in wheelchair rolling in the background. He hands it to the kid, and the kid turns it, unaware that the wheelchair is about to crash into him.

With Pink Panther’s style, you’d see the wheelchair hit the boy into the pond, with a splash, and the man’s expression as he flies into the water. Funny.

With Mr. Bean, they cut to the next scene. Funnier.

Interestingly, Inspector Jacques Clouseau is seen in one scene downloading a ringtone for System Of A Down – B.Y.O.B.! Rock on, old incompetent Frenchman.

More interesting was the taxi ride to KL Sentral; the taxi driver asked, “You pergi mana? Seremban?” Caught by surprise, I mumbled, “Bukit Bintang“. Then he asked, “jumpa amoi?”

On Sunday however, I found the love of my life! I never had the real thing in my hands until late last year; one was from London, the other, Australia. We could have a few quickies under one minute. People would look at us on the LRT.

ARGH! After I got Hannna to get me one from Selfridges London, and Ed got me one from Australia, I finally found this, at RM24.95 at Toys’R’Us Express, The Mall, near Putra World Trade Centre. Bloody hell that’s USD 6.56 (online, USD12)! Why was it cheaper? I found that they stuck a white label over the Milton Bradley and Hasbro Toys logos. No wonder it was cheaper!

It felt more consistent than the Australian cube, solid and did not lock. It didn’t seem like friction, but it felt slower, and slower it was; 74 seconds was twice my record.

Subcultured

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Guess what this is.

Anyway, I got off the Kepong KTM Komuter station, and the walkover was in darkness. I heard some skinheads laughing rowdily in the background, with black jackets, studded belts, boots and blond mohawks. In the darkness, I heard some tapping; it was a blind man, to my left, with a walking stick (as in, a stick that aids his walking, not a stick that walks.)

“Abang mau pergi mana?” (Where do you want to go brother?)

One of the skinheads was guiding the blind man!

They joked about the darkness and how they could relate to him. All four of them sent him off past the ticketing machines.

A touching moment, not easily captured on film due to the lack of light all around the station.

People in subcultures are still helpful Malaysians, you know.

How To Bug A Lady

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I knew a girl who loved ladybugs. And so, it was my plan for the longest time to play a prank on her give her a present. The plan? Make her red Perodua Kancil a ladybug!

I purchased black manila paper, cellophane tape, and cut the manila paper into circles, about the size of CDs.

I arranged a meetup solely for this purpose. I chose a place where I’d be able to see where she parked, namely Amcorp Mall, near Taman Jaya (where KY Speaks collected mandarin oranges). I stood outside, with camera in hand, pretending to take pictures of scenery. She didn’t notice me until I waved frantically (I wanted to hop in so I could find out where she parked.) Instead, she waved back, and parked in the outdoor car park instead of inside, thank goodness.

I then waited in the shade to see which part of the parking lot she came from, so it would be easier to locate her car.

We went for a hearty lunch. Towards the end, I excused myself to go to the toilet, and knowing Amcorp Mall’s hidden, shady toilets, I had an excuse to take a while.

I ran down to the outdoor carpark, frantically tore the cellophane tape and plastered the pre-cut manila paper all over. The manila and tape were concealed in my cargo pants pocket (why would I bring a bag to the toilet?)

Okay fine, I only taped it to the front and right side but that was enough to be seen.

I then ran back, and found that the iced lemon tea I was drinking was gone! I insisted on walking her back to her car to see her reaction.

I’ve done enough straightforward storytelling, so it’s time for you to guess her reaction.

“Hey uh, since you can’t really drive a ladybug around, here’s a smaller toy ladybug.” (Which I produced from my other side pocket.)

Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day to everybody. Instead of slobbering in mushiness or moping about, you could blog about cool, ingeniously sweet things you could do. Or you could take a friend’s girlfriend out. Taxi drivers will relate to you their stories of how they learned another language for their loves!