Category Archives: General

We, Ass Men

In a cab ride to an LRT station: (Cab driver’s speech in italics and language was made more grammatically correct)

So where are you going?
I’m going to meet a friend at Kelana Jaya, and then we’ll take a cab to a friend’s birthday party.
Oooh. Guy’s birthday party or girl’s birthday party?
A girl’s birthday party.
OOOH, good. Don’t waste your time going for a guy’s birthday party. At least you go to a girl’s birthday party, maybe you get a chance to sleep with her. Guy? Guy, what for?
Er, maybe he invited girls?
Yeah, but it’s still better to be friends with girls. When you have no money, you can borrow money from them. Girls can pity you. Girls will lend you money!

As much as you may disagree, I know damn well that some girls prove his last statement right.

Wow, your pocket so big. What is that?
It’s a digital camera.
Oooh. If I had one, I tell you, I will take pictures of pretty girls. Especially those with big boobs. I tell you, driving around all day, I see many girls with big boobs! It’s quite fun to talk to them also.
Ooo.
But I tell you… boobs are nice to take pictures of, but if you wanna grab, better to grab the butt. More satisfying.
Eh? Why is that?
I tell you ah, sometimes they look big only. Pushup, dressing, all bluff you wan. When I touch ah, I disappointed lah. It only looks big, but not… fulfilling.
Maybe that’s because we guys have a butt, and so we know what a butt feels like, and so we won’t be disappointed?
Hmmm, yes, definitely.
Yeah, there was this Italian-Malay chick whose butt I grabbed, and it was much more satisfying than I thought for its size. So fulfilling. So full. (I don’t know why I blurted that bit… and to this day, I refer to her as the “chick-whose-butt-I-grabbed”. And no, I never blogged about her.)
Wah. Good for you young man!
Maybe because we don’t have boobs, we see boobs, we don’t know what to expect. We stare at them all day, then we end up expecting more? But if a girl likes girls, she surely won’t be disappointed.
Yeah. Boobs are nice to look at. Butt is for grabbing.

There is some truth to his boobs-are-to-look-at, butt-to-grab observation – I just realized that I rarely take spy pictures of butts. A butt is easier to grab in public (I’m referring to consenting people, of course.)

No wonder some girls wish for a bigger ass.

P.S. Dide the (then) juvenile ass-grabber can attest to my butt being montel. Refer to my Friendster testimonials wayyy back. Yes, despite me looking like I have no ass I assure you she enjoyed grabbing it.

A Food Choice

7 Replies

Many a time, people have made plans to eat at certain places, to my objection. It is indeed funny then, that irony would bless me.

Case 1: Steven’s Corner Banana Leaf Rice

I’ve never been a big fan of Banana Leaf Rice, but my colleagues were all excited and hyped up, craving BLR. So we got in a car and went there.

Nando’s Flaming Hot Peri-Peri I can take without breaking a sweat, but Indian spices torture my tongue.

The food was alright, but they didn’t enjoy it. A colleague asked, “Why did we want Banana Leaf Rice again?”

I was the only person who finished my leaf of rice.

Case 2: SS2 Murni

I’ve never been a fan of SS2 Murni, since it takes ages to:

Call for a waiter (who will then signal to you that he/she will call someone to attend to you)
Wait for the waiter to come and take your order
Wait for your orders

Yeah yeah so you’ve got gigantic drinks in jars, but I’ve always settled for Teh O Ais (Iced Tea) or Sirap Ais (Iced Syrup).

Fate be it, then, that a big group of us were supposed to go to Hartamas Square, but couldn’t find parking, so plans were diverted to SS2 Murni. Slinky and I were first to arrive, and we found two tables across the road, near the drain. We ordered our drinks, then the others came later, and found two tables nearer, on the same side of the road as the shop, which was also brightly lit.

We adjourned to that table, and as I walked there I spotted the guy with my drink. I took it and sat down.

“Aiyooo, this place service very slow lah. Why did we come here?”
“Don’t worry, I know some people here.” (She then hails a waiter by his name, who then signals to her to wait.)

For the next 10 minutes, the rest of them looked at me jealously as I sipped loudly. I ordered another Sirap Ais when the waiter finally came.

The lights then went out nearby! So it would’ve been the same as where I sat. And yeah, they awaited thirstily.

Case 3: Italiannie’s The Curve

I’m not big on Italian food, or pasta, but the rest were craving the RM19.90 all-you-can-eat package. I ordered the RM11.90 minestrone soup instead, because:

I’ve heard that their pasta is done in a different style, an acquired taste, drier and cheesier that would otherwise cause slight nausea
I was broke, and I hoped that the soup would be in as big a serving as Fasta Pasta’s, so it would be both my food and drink
I wasn’t hungry, so an all-you-can-eat would be a waste, especially since I don’t know my pastas

My minestrone soup came first, and everybody else’s pasta came at different times, much later. The cherubic, innocent-looking Erin got hers last, after a waitress reminded us that all-you-can-eat cannot be shared (and then apologized).

As for the minestrone? Fasta Pasta was better, bigger, and had croutons! Baked crusty crispy bits of bread, soaking to their death in glorious minestrone soup!

So what is the lesson, people?

Listen to me when I say, “Hey let’s not go there!” or I will get my order first (for once) and everyone else’s will came loads later. I told you so.

…I just hope this doesn’t mean that you all won’t invite me to food outings anymore, lest such cases happen again.

House Your Wife

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I’m going to rave about yet another movie. Monster House!

Monster House is about two boys, DJ and Chowder who live opposite cranky old man Nebbercracker, who chases people off his lawn. One day, the old man is yelling at DJ when he gets a heart attack and dies. His house then awakens to scare them and eat children all in time for Halloween. Yeah, some scenes may seem incredulous and yet hilarious, if you can spot the parody. Horror? More like action.

Steven Spielberg is co-producing, hence the legal rights to use parodies of War Of The Worlds. Do watch out for the Eddie Murphy cop parody! They had some pretty clever sequences and turn of events. Since the kids were experiencing puberty, the writers had the freedom to insert subtle sexual jokes and things of a more adult nature.

Jenny: [waves flashlight at chandelier] Look! That must be its uvula! *
Chowder: Oh. So it’s a GIRL house.

* The uvula is that thing that hangs at the back of your throat, often confused with the tonsils. (Later, they teach kids how to induce vomiting! How wrong is that?) Check out more quotes from IMDB!

Graphics-wise, it was the most fluid 3D CGI movie I’d ever seen. No, it wasn’t cartoony-physics Incredibles, it was human in expression and movement. Only their hair was a solid plasticine wig, but it was good that they didn’t bother with animating the hair, as the rest of the animation made up for it.

It also had camera angles which were very unlike a regular 3D movie; quick movements, as if it was a human cameraman. I also loved the small depth of field to bits. It had soft focus in most scenes to give a dreamy, innocent childhood effect, but was all sharp in the monster. I’d have noticed the small depth of field in any other 3D movie, so I’d say this was the first I’d seen. I wonder how they’d do the out-of-focus bits in IMAX though.

My only gripe with this would be the name – Monster House sounded like a B-grade horror movie. (I don’t read the sypnosis first because it’s more fun that way.) Perhaps they could’ve picked a name like The Monster House Of Nebbercracker. Okay, maybe Nebbercracker’s name would have to change, too.

Meanwhile, I’m looking forward to Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and its offbeat humor. Will Ferrell is again an over-exuberant brute, but that’s why we loved him in Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy.

Double Vision

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So I watched The Two Of Us, a double-bill play consisting of two stories, Black and Silver and Chinamen. The former featured Ari Ratos in his usual bumbling routine (which could be funny for some, but his delivery is only 99% there) as a father on holiday with his wife and baby. Humor for the parents.

The latter featured Rashid Salleh and Joanna Bessey as a young couple inviting guests over for dinner. Problem was, the host invited a husband… and the hostess invited his wife and her new boyfriend. Chaos ensues as they try to keep the situation under wraps ala Frasier. The moment I saw the same actors playing the guests, I knew I was in for a fun ride, as Rashid effortlessly switches from inebriated estranged husband to forgetful host, and Joanna the worrying hostess and rapper! You’d know that two characters played by the same actor would never appear at the same time, so it was fun to see how they handled it, walking in and out doors.

It was also then that I realized how great these two were at comedy, especially timing. Joanna’s expression turns to worry naturally, unlike a lot of plays I’ve seen recently where it seems like they just flipped a switch to contort facial muscles. Rashid, like any other comedic actor, has his signature expressions that get people laughing, but he manages to pull more comedic weight in dialogue subtly.

Catch the last show this Sunday the 20th of August 2006, 3pm. Worth watching for the second story (if you’re not married with kids you probably can’t relate to the first story.)

Details here.

And now, for a double-bill of different sorts; two pictures to one category.

Flashing the steam.

This was at Bar-B-Q Sunway Pyramid. I always laughed at the cartoon dragon statue that stood outside the branch at 1 Utama’s Rainforest, whenever I used the escalator.

Underexposed skies; note what appears to be a little worker!

Somewhat macro.

Chopped sticks.

Chopsticks.

Suria KLCC rooftop.

Elevator shaft.

Fishes at the Sentul Koi Centre, Sentul Park.

Reach near and the koi will take you in.

Cat’s tails at Sentul Park.

Leaves at the exit.

I spotted this at the Bangsar LRT station.

Tracks! What could’ve dug up so much mud?

Satay in Kg. Baru.

Much respect for the dude, who is seen picking charcoal with his bare hands.

Motion blur is achieved with a slow shutter speed.

Pan around the object to make it look like it’s moving. Yes, the eagle statue was not moving!

Yes 2 Kapitalism!

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It has been a while since I’d been to Paul’s New Place; since the screening of Ciplak, Khai‘s independent movie. I was there for the Y2K “Pizza Salsa” album launch.

(Picture can be clicked for enlarged version.)
Left to right, top to bottom: The crowd; FYI Entertainment expresses how they finally got around to producing Y2K’s album; Rina Omar was the host and one-time Y2K drummer; a projection screen shows hilarious short clips of The Making Of the album (parodying Nacho Libre, Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster documentary, Karate Kid, Star Wars, and many others that Khai gets inspiration from); the sound-engineer’s corner; Triple6Poser performing.

(Picture can be clicked for enlarged version.)
Left: Eddy Lim, tattooed frontman and long-haired harmonica player; top-right: Khai rocks out; bottom-right: Jay on bass and Henry on guitar complete this hard-rocking bluesy classic rock/heavy metal band.

Stonebay was the next opening act, with grunge-tinged vocals.

Check out his guitar, yo.

(Picture can be clicked for enlarged version.)
The last act before Y2K breaks onto stage is Dragon Red. Adam croons and shouts; Amil makes orgasmic faces while playing nu-metal riffs, while Natalie keeps it low on bass.

Interestingly, Adam found a hammer on stage, but I did not get to take a picture of it. Him holding a hammer in one hand and a mike in the other reminded me of Anchorman:

Ron Burgundy: Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?
Brick Tamland: I don’t know.

(Picture can be clicked for enlarged version.)
Finally, Y2K makes their way on stage, masks and all; Monsieur Poubelle was a rapper who lost his face and now plays bass.

Hermano Grande is the lucha wrestler on a Flying V guitar.

The Naq, fear-striking space creature, is not seen in the background. After a series of Spinal Tap-like drummers (from Asai the original cute Japanese drummer who drummed punk rock beats and sang at the same time, to Rina Omar, and some others, they were finally graced by The Naq.)

Nazneen joined on stage when they needed female vocals.

(Picture can be clicked for enlarged version.)
Look ma, no flash.

(Picture can be clicked for enlarged version.)
They then swap positions! Unfortunately, it wasn’t as easy as just swapping instruments; Monsieur Poubelle was left-handed!

Ahmad of The Blumps joins them for a crazy angry bridge! Check out the punk rock rage, yo.

(A second-curtain flash would help in this slow-shutter-speed-flash picture, so his trails would be behind him.)

The finale.

Oh, but that’s not all; check out their album case!

RM19.90 for 19 songs of good, clean punk rock production, with hilarious lyrics and a few not-so-punk-genre songs. I’m not sure where you can get this uniquely packaged CD, but you can check Y2K‘s official site.

Brokeback Chair

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Amongst all the chaos that is ensuing between my two computers, alternating between states of On and Working and Off and Blue-Screen-Of-Death-ing, there is one little thing that can bring me happiness.

A new chair.

My old trusty Brokeback Chair. I don’t know how it loosened itself to the point that I’d have to break out a pair of nutcracker pliers to turn the nuts back in place. After a while it would lean back again.

My new stiff-back chair.

As you can tell, it’s not exactly new. The offices upstairs were getting new chairs, and old chairs were going at RM20 a piece! I grabbed one.

You may also notice the mess around; I’d only clean it up once both computers are working. That means less pictures for all of you. 🙁

Yesterday’s Burger King Gathering

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Here are random pictures from the blogger gathering at Burger King, KLCC, 29th July 2006. WHOA that’s yesterday! Count your lucky stars, people!

Funky colors are thanks to my infrared-modified Fujifilm Digital Q1.

Jasiminne surrounded by the Lengmou gang.

Bodicea/Jolin.

Avril Chan is always always in infrared (her blog’s left-side sidebar features Sony Nightshot effects, which are really infrared.)

Jolene Lai bites.

But really, she’s a (cock-eyed) blue-eyed wonder.

Cheng Sim.

Jasiminne and Evie.

Chloe.

When Joshua Foong takes off his cap, he becomes a Brandon Routh lookalike.

Fireangel is always happy to see me. (This would be a good expression to whoever stole her phone after that!)

Scorkes, who owns a few dragons. Let’s hope they’re not lost at sea like her Jack Sparrow probably is.

Simple As Cheryl. Accessories sold separately.

From left: Kelz, Erin Tan and Cheng Sim, featuring Ivan the eager photographer.

Burger King KLCC has renovated, and boy is it pretty. A lighted bar makes it easy for camwhores.

One big mob.

And now, for normal pictures with my Canon Powershot A520:

Spot the Suanie complaining about the lack of alcohol. Seems like the older bloggers were not afternoon people?

Jasiminne guards entry.

Jasiminne is enraged. (Okay, this was with the infrared camera.)

Slinky, Shaz and Jasiminne.

Jenifur reprises her role as a PC Fair promoter.

Full-color bar.

I have to say, Yvonne Foong captured a very poignant picture of me.
CLICK HERE FOR AWARD WINNING PICTURE.
There’s a second one.

For more pictures, you should start at Tan Yee Hou‘s post.

Work For Her

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I make it sound so simple.

Dude, get a job.

Then maybe you’d stop calling her, giving her a chance to miss you and cherish you. You’re always there for her. Before she can even think of missing you… you call.

She wants to feel secure even though she is self-sufficient and independent. Who wants a jobless bum? That might be it. Some girls deny the men the booty until they get a job.

Heck, you might be more appealing after work, formal wear, male pheremones in the air.

Waste no time! If both of you are serious and intense about relationships, then now is soon enough to start. Fear starting, that she may become bored of you? Even if she did, both of you wouldn’t be offended; it’s not so much of boredom but a sense of complacency. I hope. Long-distance issues? You want her, take her now, don’t wait until you’re about to leave to start a flurry of emotions, where both of you will decide to break it off instead of continue.

Once you guys get it on, I’ll be glad for both of you. Even though I don’t know you, dude.

I’m a pharmacist, prescribing drugs that I’ll never use.

Curve Win

9 Replies

I knew a guy whose girlfriend turned lesbian. Poor dude.

And now, I know a girl whose boyfriend turned gay. Poor dudette.

I also know a guy who turned a girl lesbian, but that’s another story.

But anyway, the winner of the Guess That Curve is Lex. She may have annoyed me many times over in real life (on intention) but at least she gives me plenty of comments, so there really isn’t anything wrong with that now is there? I think she also left me the most Friendster testimonials. Her flattering testimonials were also the most deleted. Still, kudos for the effort. Definitely a friend to make if you need some testimonials.

The LRT station is where Pasar Seni heads to KL Sentral; you can see the third curve when you take a bus from Klang Bus Stand, below Pasar Seni, to Midvalley, or the Intrakota 21C bus to One Utama.

Oh, and there’s the Sunrise Jazz & Rhythm Fest 2006.

Who: Fashion Jazz, Rachel Guerzo Quartet, Lewis Pragasam & AsiaBeat, Hip Hop by DanceStyle, GruvAvenue, Amir Yussof & Friends, Belly Dancing, Cosmic Funk Express, Jupiter@7, Sharizan Borhan & Swing Inc, Shelley Leong & Jazz Odyssey, Funk Mob [John Thomas, Eric Li & Fly], Rentak K.a.my, Mr. Gambus, Tinderbox, Jazzing With Style, Noryn Aziz, Aseana Percussion Unit
When: 28th July 2006 to 12th August 2006 (every Friday and Saturday from 8:30pm to 12:30am)
Where: Sunrise Plaza Mont Kiara
How much: Free!

I’m definitely going for August 4th and 5th, for Cosmic Funk Express‘s last gig and Shelley Leong & Jazz Odyssey.

More details here.

Glaring Notebook

Pressed For Words