Category Archives: Travelling

An unconclusive theory on genealogy

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I was hanging out at a mamak in Hartamas with colleagues (after a frag session) when the subject of male-to-female ratio came up. Statistics say females currently outnumber males.

The magic of my associative brain brought back Biology lessons – the male determines the gender of the child. A guy can marry as many wives and still be cursed with only daughters (before you stamp [SEXIST] on my forehead, I say they would cost more to raise!)

At first I figured that the chromosome that says “bear plenty bosomfuls” would not be passed down, since the female’s genes would have no say in the child’s gender. This would thus increase the probability of males.

That last sentence was in contradiction to the case.

The mom would still pass down her dad’s “bear plenty bosomfuls” to the sons she might have.

And so, I have no conclusion.

Flashback to another Hartamas night, where we were introduced to this girl who, if she had a son, would name him “Q-Tip“. Yes “Q-Tip“. My colleagues asked, “would you marry her if you knew she wanted a son named Q-Tip?”

Perhaps, if I knew it was in my genes to “bear plenty bosomfuls“. I knew it was unlikely, as my mom had five brothers and one sister, while my father’s father’s lineage was MFMF (Male-female-male-female). My father-side cousins were MM, MF and M. My mother-side cousins were FM. I’m the first M in my dad’s MFM. Hence, the son-making XY factor would be strong in me.

And so I said, “no, I would not marry you“. Pity then, she was cute. 🙂

And now, for the answer to the question girls like to ask: How many children would you like to have, and in what ratio?

I like them MFM, like how it is now. Or more practically, MF. Having FFM would make for a effeminate son, like some people I know. MFM would churn a slightly tomboyish middle daughter like my sister, but I figure tomboys wouldn’t go for expensive clothes, and they would be… independent? Plus, they would kick ass and I would feel safer letting them go out.

Dare To Fail

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I bumped into xen0s at driving school. (He gave me the Dumbass VCD! Heard of Jackass? This contains partial nudity and grossness too!) We waited hours for our numbers to come and our bells to be tolled.

My bell tolled at 2pm. I failed proudly. Overshot the slope even though I was going slow. I thought it was a tick in the Fail box, but he asked me to do it again. Thinking it was over already, I didn’t enter enough before the three-point turn. Turns out that was the Fail box.

I should be the patron saint for failed driving tests. I didn’t even get out the road! (Yes I intend to tell this story braggingly.) There were a few cars in front of me, and as they turned into the main road, I slowly inched towards the road. I didn’t stop at the white line though.

“Swap seats”, he said. He did a cool reverse and U-turn back to school.

That, my friends, is my proud failure. I shall take it again in two weeks, when I can afford it. I do not want your pity, although donations are accepted with open arms.

Show Down

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I drove relatively confidently down town without the death of the engine too frequently marring me, even parking and turning. Then, I marked attendance for college, and Syefri called.

“You going to the gig?”
“What gig? Today’s? Where already ah?”
“Black’s, City Square…”
“Eh, I thought it was further down Ampang, but I’ll drop by since it’s damn near my college.”
“I’m not going since I’m in Putrajaya lah… forgot.”

I was going to just drop by since I was broke, and I remember an email saying it ended at 1am, way past my bus schedule!

I found Az again, and found Shelley Leong the co-emcee, ready to smuggle me in as a member of the press. (I didn’t intend to write a review…)

By the time the formalities were done, I was adorned with a press kit and press tag. Impressive! Turns out that this was a bigger gig than expected. Like ICOM-end-year-project gig. Surprisingly organized, too!

I was ushered to the press section, and I met the equivalent of albnok at Xfresh‘s forums – kyaizen of Jamtank. (Syefri should be slapping his head repeatedly and selling his bass amp.)

He looked nothing like a rock star (but then, some colleagues don’t even know what kind of music I listen to. Do I bob my head frantically to classical music?)

I saw performances by… (oh wait, I’ll leave that for the article that will appear on Xfresh and Jamtank!)

He sent me home! What was even cooler was that he validated my area. Since you can’t get cheap good food in Plaza Mont Kiara, you’d have to drive past the Segambut Dalam bumps to Taman Sri Sinar for some nice mixed rice at a makeshift stall that had no name.

Hot damn. I felt bloody proud. Someday, I envision seeing a “New Sri Sinar Mixed Rice Restaurant” on Jalan Gasing.

The Accomplished

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I love the feeling of having went out and having accomplished many errands, like today:

I went for driving class. I was early so I walked to Taman Jaya LRT and hopped on the train back to Asia Jaya. GuesswhoIsaw it was Ching Wei, Joel’s girlfriend, also headed for lessons at the same time, same place. I was at my third hour out of ten. (My first hour was spent driving to KL, up to Jalan Duta and pulling back into PJ through Hartamas while the second hour was spent going down to Subang, to that huge roundabout, and back down the highway.) She complained that she didn’t get any of that action! I guess I was lucky to have a forgetful teacher then. He probably couldn’t remember that I did not learn slope parking, side parking or three-point-turning before that! Well it wasn’t all that grand, considering I was also the last to get a spot on his ever-changing timetable.

Today however was different! He asked me, “have you learnt slope parking and side-parking?” I said nope. At the junction to exit the school, he said to turn left, meaning we were going on the road! (So much for that question.) We went down the same Jalan Duta KL stretch, but pulled back into PJ at Jalan Damansara instead. With what was left of the hour, he taught side-parking. He then received a phone call, and went something like this:

“Aaa! Yes aaa! You buy the Magnum 4D Toto! 8603! 4451!”

Reassuringly enough, 8603 was the Kancil I was driving. Was I fated to die today?

He dropped by the office, since we weren’t sure if I had two hours of lessons today. “The other girl cancelled anyway.” And so began the extra (or rather, unexpected) leg-cramping clutch-action of the slope-parking, side-parking and tire-balding-three-pointer hour.

After that was over, I grinned at a poor Ching Wei, who’d already waited an hour for Joel. She certainly wasn’t wearing my “I went to town again!” smirk. We took the scenic route to Amcorp Mall, to look for a lurking Tech (yes I busted your secret hideout!) but found not him, but the lurky Dustyhawk instead. Once Joel came, I left for Bintang Walk, to collect my 512 Megabyte 400 Megahertz Kingston Value DDR RAM from Low Yat Plaza. I then found the elusive Robertson Audio MP3/VCD/CD player. “Wait ah I go ATM first…” I told the shopkeeper. I headed to the bottomest floor of Low Yat to find cables where the ATM machine used to be! Lucky me then, to have to go to Sungei Wang to find an ATM, because I found the MXJVC-branded variant.

After getting that for my mom (yes yes happy mother’s day in advance har har) I found a handphone-fixing shop outside of the Sungei Wang square that would fix my dad’s Siemens C30.

On the way home, I found that Pantera’s Reinventing Hell: Greatest Hits made for great music to nod off to. (I needed to test the CD player!) Yes that thrash metal greatest hits masterpiece. No I don’t find it boring. Hanna when are you going to buy it from me? I’m still carrying it in my bag yes I am.

As of time of writing I am listening to an old mix MP3 CD I made, wondering what the heck are the titles of the first 30 songs. Yep, it was probably a CD with one-hit-wonders (I had to Google the lyrics to find out what songs they were.) So much for skip protection; audio CDs didn’t work in the knee pocket. MP3 CDs were better off though, although sometimes it would have a mind of its own and skip and pop while sitting quietly on the table.

Thursday shall be even more interesting, as I sneak out of work early for a 5-6pm slot at driving school, and at 6:30pm, my first ever college class of the year!

Follow The Flow

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Friends who have walked with me in shopping malls would know of my flow-theory. I now tell it to the world!

My discovery of the flow: the hidden force; the current of humans walking! It came to me last year.

I bumped into a friend who was from West Malaysia at the Bangsar LRT bus stop, on the free bus to Midvalley. She was just going for fun and had no prior plans with anybody there. I on the other hand was going there to meet some people (can’t remember who but Syefri was one of them.)

None of my friends were there yet, so we just walked about first aimlessly. She was leading the way. She was walking into crowds and against the flow! It was struggled movement.

I then wisely proclaimed, “come! I shall lead the way! We shall walk with the flow!” (Cue Jack Black with shimmering angelic glow from my body.)

“Do not walk against the flow of the crowd!” I declared. “We walk with the crowd! Do not think of where to go! Let your legs do the walking!”

We then walked with the flow, uninterrupted, letting our legs lead the way, even up or down escalators.

With that, she bumped into an old schoolmate of many years back!

We walked somemore, and she bumped into yet another!

Before she walked with the flow, she said she had never bumped into anybody in a shopping mall.

Now I’d usually bump into people in Midvalley, because I walked with the flow, but I did not bump into anybody that day. Perhaps it was because I had transferred the flow and exhausted some of it. Nevertheless, I was happy to have parted the ways of the aimless teenage shopping-complex wanderer.

(End of original flow-following theory.)

Anyway, back to Monday. I went out with Jha to Bintang Walk. We were in Lot 10, going to take the pedestrian bridge to Sungei Wang, when I saw this makeup artist applying makeup on presumeably an interested passerby. I got Jha to do a double-take to see the makeup artist’s horrid eye-makeup, and guess who I bumped into?

Az. Without a guitar. (Though he did have a friend who was going to get one…)

I have always bumped into Az in the weirdest places. (Nope, gay bars are not one of them.) We did not have each others’ numbers; we do not have each others’ instant messenger contacts; I haven’t gone to a gig with him performing in it; I’ve never gone out with a friend just because Az is coming, etc. Sure we’re friends on Friendster and he’s in my links, but it’s not like we talk through there. Which is freakishly cool then how we always bump into each other.

Perhaps, then, I have met someone, whose flow is just so intertwined with mine. It could be like Yin and Yang. Terror guitarist… and not-so-terror guitarist. Tall… and not-so-tall.

Roll Call

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Alrightey mates, I’ve had some updating to do in my links in my About Me! page. Yes, this is the only time you barnacles shall get front page grande. Here, in no particular order, are updated or added links: Chibimelody, Redphayze, Joeybear, Hyrza, Leech, EC, and LIONEL.blogs.

I went for the Tempered Mental single launch (yes a single with um, 7 tracks). It was at The Jazz Bar, notably so as Syefri pointed out a bass amp bigger than the guitar amps. Flatline was one of the opening bands, and even with their 3 guitars, the bassist still overpowered them, leaving only a little wah through.

Their show rocked, with new stuff we had yet to hear. I shall spare you here and squeeze creative juices on the article.

Anyhoo, the taxi driver I hailed had the windows partly down. Halfway on the journey some conversation like this happened (in Malay though):

He: Do you want to smoke?
Me: No thanks.
He: Why? Quitted or you just never smoked before?
Me: Never smoked before (hesitating to translate…) I’m allergic to the smoke. My uncle used to fog the hall even though his room door was closed. I got this weird coating in my tongue.
He: Ah okay.

That would’ve been a blatant lie of course, since I did just step out of The Jazz Bar in O*range. 😛 Even after a bath and change of clothes the smell still lingered!

I could see the cabbie flinching as a cigarette-deprived addict. Nyahaha. He was easing his throat, with symptoms of a cold. He was rubbing his nose and reaching into his pocket.

I could’ve just told him it was fine with me, but I wanted to see how bad it could get. 🙂

My personal take on smokers? People who smoke are really one of us, but I don’t equate smoking with coolness. They’re not any evil-er than us. Well you can stand in one corner puffing away, but flinching from cigarette withdrawal is not cool. Haha.

Then there’s that thing about it relieving stress. Sure it works, but there are other stress-relievers that don’t give you bloody coughing in the morning. Computer games. Onanism. Making noise on a guitar/drumset/wall/table. Sure, these activities merely distract you from the worries, and you’d still go, “how now?” afterwards, but it’s not like cigarettes help you totally forget either. That, my friends, requires more potent mind-state-inducting chemicals. 😉

Oh, and I finally fixed the filler comments!

Scary Toilet Man and some updates

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Today, I shall write about the scary toilet man, or scary janitor for you American-educated people.

He is the man who hovers about, standing in a corner of the ASTRO toilet, waiting for you to be done before he swarms in and sprays your cubicle with disinfectant. He stares at you, waiting for you to vacate the urinal.

I met one such Scary Toilet Man at Hard Rock Cafe. He was standing there, playing with the powder and the perfume. When I was done, he handed me two pieces of hand wipes. I thanked him.

As I came out, it was obvious that the birthday boy made full use of the free hair gel. I too, went. I fumbled with the perfume since I was not used to artificial smell application. I couldn’t stop laughing to myself as he stood behind!

Back to the daily commentary.

Good Friday – Why did everybody make a fuss about it like it was a Day Of Obligation? Being a born Catholic I knew and wondered why people were leaving the office early. Heck, I went early too. 😛 I met up with a distraught Nabila who had been bumming around KLCC because the Australian Embassy was closed for Good Friday. Gee mate, they got our Malaysia-should-take-holiday-whenever-possible disease!

And so we dined at California Pizza Kitchen, overhearing these Singaporeans who said they wanted to party. Preferably chemically-induced. LOL. So we said to them, warp speed to Warp mate!

Saturday – The whole day was spent with colleagues going fragging in Counter-Strike: Condition Zero and then Battlefield 1942’s various mods. We ate at Burger King for dinner and bumped into Dragon Red (minus Landslyde) who were there for a audition or something.

Sunday – I arrived at my driving school at 9 and waited for an hour, sleeping with the class. The lecturer was sick. A replacement arrived at 10, giving a half-hour lecture and then taking a half-hour break before finishing at noon. Yep, if you did the math right, it would have been one and a half hours. The other 3 hours, or the fun-in-the-sun maintenance class, would be only for students not from this school. Happy I was for the discount! To add to that, I skipped the obligatory Easter church-going day!

I got home to a combined multitude of technical support. Joanne wanted to know if she should get the same hard disk I got (the Western Digital 80GB JB model, that I would not recommend because of instability…) Allison had trouble with her second-hand ADSL modem. uneeq‘s friend had trouble with her laptop. I can’t remember who else. Add sound editing for my sister to the list.

For once I have to run for the bus and really end the blog post like this so taaa!

Gostan!

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It was a Wednesday morning, and I was drinking Teh Tarik laced with cinnamon at Maju Curry House, near PJ A&W Drive In, Taman Jaya. (Yes, they put cinnamon whether you ask for it or not.) I ran to the Taman Jaya LRT to take the LRT to Asia Jaya, but I realized my train was on the other side!

Dashed I did, to Asia Jaya. Lactic acid attacked my legs. I reached SDC, my driving school, and waited there for an hour. I let the others be sent to JPJ, where they would take their theory exam. The van came and drove to JPJ, that was smack opposite Maju Curry House. 🙁

Since I was late I had to take a number and wait one-and-a-half hours. When I got in, I took a practice session in the waiting room. I then went in and sat for the real thing, in front of a computer. I clicked A for the first answer (see, it pays to read my blog!) and it didn’t move. I clicked again. I added a few more clicks on A for safety.

It suddenly responded, and apparently my first 15 questions were answered A! I had to click on the previous questions to answer them correctly. Apparently, each computer was connected to the main server and whenever someone was done, and the results were being printed (obviously through the computer-hogging parallel port), my computer lagged. Presumably everybody lagged too. At least the timer didn’t move when it lagged. I could hear a lady coming in and telling another test-taker, “Don’t double-click! You will answer two at the same time!”

After probably 15 minutes (including 5 minutes lag) I was done. I got 46 over 50, where the passing mark was 42. The lady at the printer told me to take the printout to my driving school so I could register for the maintenance class. And so, I took the LRT back to Asia Jaya. The lady at the school took it and said to come on Sunday morning. I wish I photocopied it so I could gloat and show it to my mom or something. 🙁

And now, for the rest of the irrelevant day that I choose to share with you!

I went to Bintang Walk to buy a RM6 guitar strap. The bottom peg was real hard to fit in. It was sweet though; I could live my dreams of being a standing rock star/busker now. I also found a Santa Cruz 12-string guitar for RM450! Now I know where the Central Market buskers got their 12-strings from…

I also just bought a RM15 Melody DVD-RW disc from this shop with the knowledgeable old man. The same shop, the only one in Low Yat Plaza that sold DVD-RAM discs (albeit in cartridges). As I walked on to this other shop that I’d never bought anything from, I saw this same hot chick I always saw there. Damn. For once, she asked me what I was looking for. (You, babe?) I told her I was looking for a DVD-RW disc, and she pointed to the same thing, at RM10! Argh. I wish I waited. (RM10 is below the cost price, according to a collegemate who sells CD/DVD media.)

Education For The Old

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I was to meet Hannna at PWTC, for some skater exhibition thingy, to pass her something. She was already inside, and to enter, one had to fork out money, so she came out. It was then that she told me the lickable lovable Jamie (or also known as theZEBRA) was inside! Argh, I would’ve paid to pet the zebra. She came, and she didn’t have to lick me to get me wet. I was already soaked in the heavy rain on the way in. She got us two passes to get in, and we bummed around.

It was time to go to Bangsar LRT to collect money (and meet my van-driving-fetching-momma) but alas! Upon reaching the Masjid Jamek PUTRA LRT station, the gates were half-closed. Technical difficulties, they said. Perhaps it was the tendency of clouds to succumb to gravity again and again this week.

Ah well. I headed back to PWTC, again sneaking in with a pass. Jamie drew a zebra on the back of my left paw. (Knowing the confusion between arm and hand, I chose the word paw instead.) Hannna had one, too. We sniffed the permanent marker fumes in joy. Jamie taught one of the few tricks she knew.

Of course, this was no skateboarding exhibition. This was a kids’ educational exhibition.

What’s depressing? When you’re in secondary school, your educational exhibition consists of walking around, with people projecting your futures for you, selling you papers. What are you going to be? A doctor? Lawyer? What pre-university program are you going to take? Will you go overseas or do a twinning program?

Argh all that gibberish.

When you’re in primary school, your educational exhibition is fun! You get to sit down on colorful stools and play with Lego bricks or whatever’s the constructional craze. You get to solve puzzles. Run about the playground! People don’t sell you stuff; instead, they sell your parents encyclopedias and imitation laptops.

(I still didn’t know how a skatepark got a space at the back of the exhibition.)

Cut to Saturday morning!

I was invited to a surprise birthday party on that night itself, when I was in Midvalley. Complications arose soon enough! The inviter was a friend of the girlfriend of the birthday boy. She (the inviter) had two seats. I was one of them. I asked her if I could bring Shaz, since after all, I figured he’d know the birthday boy better. Alas, she wasn’t sure if he could be accomodated into the plan.

So I called Shaz, asking what his plans were. He didn’t get to narrate till his dinnertime before he had to go and said he’d call me back.

I went shopping for his present, with a lengthy discussion over the phone with miss invitee. I tried a few shirts (he was around my size) but none were fitting the tight criteria.

I called Shaz again. Alas! He had cancelled his dinner plans with his buddies to come and have dinner with me at Midvalley!

I called miss invitee, relating my story. “I know the birthday dude through Shaz, so fit him in pleeease

Near Tractor

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I went to Ikano Power Center and got myself a 10-minute RM12 haircut. Except that I had to wait 20 minutes, and so I hogged my hairstylist for 17 minutes. 🙂 I asked that I not look like a schoolboy again, but I didn’t want a mere reduction in hair size. What was the secret to fast haircuts? Clips to hold up hair as they cut layers, and a vacuum cleaner to suck the loose hairs after the haircut. Oh, and no wash/rinse/dry process; everything was dry except when they sprayed water at the very end. They gave a complimentary long, grey comb, and you could take their brochure that had 2 bandages inside. I wonder why.

With my new hairstyle, still very much in the veins of Taiwanese boyband F4, I decided this:

I shall learn a new language to pick up chicks. Chinese.

I then went to Popular Bookstore and got myself 3 Rubik’s Cubes. Yessir. I am that intent on replacing the broken ones. One large one for home, an a large and regular-sized cube for the office.

I took a cab to One Utama, for my virginal step into One Utama 2. It was wide, much like Ikano! The Fear Factor challenge was on, and I was supposedly on duty. Of course, I’d have to follow the flow and bump into an Incubus-headbang-mate and Seng Yip. Headbang-mate was a mate of Aznin and we went around jakuning, entering the huge new MPH, where she greeted all her ex-colleagues from the old branch.

My boss treated an ex-colleague for her birthday, and so I paid the handsome price for accompanying duties at Dave’s Deli. 🙁 As I walked back, headbang-mate, Syefri, Aznin and the-cool-dude-who-gave-me-free-Milo-at-Xgames-2004 went to A&W. Funky place that was, with outdoor seating. The Penang-bridge-like walkway was in sight, but it was raining so we did not get to cross it for fun.

Well diddlydoo Jimmy was in the area, and Syefri and I walked back. He wasn’t there just yet. 🙁 MW finally arrived, and she dragged me (or rather, nudged me from behind constantly) to jakun at MPH’s guitar books. Jimmy was in a rush, and he tapped me from behind at MPH. His gauze-like eyebrow bandage was a testament to his near-death experience! The tall fella rushed off, forgoing an offer to teach him how to finish the Rubik’s Cube in 5 minutes! Ah well. I sent MW off.

I wasn’t even sure of the last Fear Factor challenge but here they are in order:

1) the guy being blindfolded with the girl piggyback-riding him, and he had to run across a landmine of mousetraps as fast as possible with the least amount of traps set off. (The guys did not have to take off their shoes!)
2) the guy sticking out his right leg as the girl waxes it in 30 seconds.
3) both of them on the tightrope, collecting flags.
4) transferring as many worms from one container to another.

Yep, there had to be a guy and a girl in each team, unlike the previous year’s, where Davina the funkmeistress (and past Fear Factor runner-up!) was at the booth. She was on her insane sugar high as usual. I wonder what she puts in her vegetarian diet. She inadvertedly dragged Shaz and William along to Ice Stein. I told the thespian to act along, like:

Cashier: What would you like?
She: A Gold Rush for me, please.
Cashier: How about you sir?
Me: Er… (looks at menu)
She: So… how now?
Me: Brown Cow!

Unfortunately the aforementioned thespian didn’t do it well the first take. “So how?” My brilliance was wasted!

Shaz finished his Brown Cow, and William finished whatever it was he was drinking. The Gold Rush was mango with passion fruit. It tasted like one of my favorite medicine syrups!

My Brown Cow however was a totally different story. It was super thick. It was like iced liquid chocolate. Davina took a sip and stoned. It was good sht, she declared, after probably a minute of letting the flavor linger.

After drinking what felt like a cup, I noticed I was only done with one third! After reaching two-thirds, we walked up to Factory Outlet Store where she felt like getting tops. As I waited outside the dressing room, she asked if I was still there. “Shy lah want to show you this one, it shows my belly!” That would be ironic, since you’d have to wear clothes in public eventually. 😛

I also felt queasy when I finished the cup while waiting. Not like it was yucky; it was just too much chocolate in one go.

When I realized that I was late for Dragon Red‘s performance (the reason I stayed past 8pm) I rushed back to headbang to their last two songs, which wasn’t as fun with such… unmoving, undynamic, shorter hair.

After having evaded duty, I called it a day and took a cab home.