Category Archives: Rants

I Wanna Rock With You

4 Replies

Michael Jackson, King Of Pop, is dead. 🙁

Was I a fan? If you consider somebody who taped the full version of Ghost (as well as the making of) and played it repeatedly many times, as a fan, yeah I guess so. Yes I was a VHS tape recorder junkie. I also remember one of my mom’s greatest hits cassettes being played on repeat.

One of the more recent songs that got stuck in my head was the hard-rocking They Don’t Care About Us. I would not say I am a big fan of R&B and I thought I didn’t like New Jack Swing but Michael’s R&B and disco-funk stuff from the Off The Wall album, remind me of a time when my dad would bring us to Cheras Leisure Mall, for some reason. Maybe I liked his brand of New Jack Swing because it was far more rocky, varied and filled with progression. Even if Thriller just has a simple repeated programmed beat, it didn’t bother me at all. That’s how great his voice was, it overrode the relative repetitiveness of the beat. Though, that was one heck of a catchy beat!

I was listening to what MIX fm was playing all day – some curious mixes of Michael Jackson covers, as well as his older stuff and Jackson 5 stuff. Yeah, Ben was a classic. I remember the TV show which identified Ben as a rat.

98 Degrees and Josh Groban both covered She’s Out Of My Life, but neither could touch the intensity that Michael sang it with – apparently, he could not sing it without crying at the end. I thought it must’ve been an intensely personal song, the mark of a powerful ballad. Heck I think I’d cry trying to sing this song! *

Interestingly though, he didn’t write the song. Tom Bahler wrote this when Karen Carpenter (of The Carpenters) broke up with him (and wanted Michael to sing it). Karen died of anorexia nervosa, bringing the disorder to public knowledge.

Michael meanwhile, brought vitiligo to public knowledge! As it turns out vitiligo is relatively common, and you’ve probably seen it before on some people. Explains why Michael sometimes appears to have a brighter mouth area.

* the only other song I could get to me emotionally is probably Stevie Wonder – Lately. He sounds like he is going to cry, too!

Of his collaborations, I’d say I most love the ones he did with Paul McCartney. There was such great chemistry in their call-and-response (listen to Say Say Say, Paul gets the R&B groove, Michael’s verses bring on the funk, and in between there’s a blues harp.) Michael then bought The Beatles’ music catalogue so whoever it is willed to, is going to make a fair bit out of Rock Band: The Beatles! (Ironically, Paul introduced the idea to Michael, then Michael bought his band’s music LOL.)

An interesting music video:

Eddie Murphy & Michael Jackson – Whatzupwitu

Interestingly, I’m not sure why, but this music video makes it obvious that either Janet Jackson learnt some dance moves from Michael, or Michael learnt some dance moves from Janet Jackson.

If you were ever too scared to watch the Thriller video, you can watch an easier Lego version:

“Thriller”… with Legos

This is too awesome.

And let’s see how many artistes can you spot and name!

USA For Africa – We Are The World

However late I am in posting this, I still am earlier than most newspapers. 😀

About That Movie I Collect Toys Of

10 Replies

Optimus Prime, in Transformers (2007), I could say, “Yeah, you’ve become a lot more badass.”

Now, in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, I don’t know what to say. It’s not the noble you, it’s not the righteous you. You say lines I never would expect you to say. In a way, you broke my heart.

Michael Bay, you ass, you did it because you could and wanted to make people cry. But we sat there and both YK and me knew very well what was coming on. Probably the most predictable part of the movie. “Hey wait a minute, this seems all too familiar…”

Before Transformers (1986) such a… “plot device” did not happen. Then filmmakers learned from the outlash from this, so they made “plot devices which turn optimistic“. So now many years later it would seem all too predictable and cliche for the “plot device which turns optimistic” to be used again. Maybe this is Michael’s way of saying, “see, I wasn’t such an ass after all!”

There’s no more need to “wipe out the old toy line for the new toy line” – Hasbro as of the 90’s discovered “recolors”, far more than the movie ever had.

Devastator wasn’t all that cool. Though it was nice to have a few brothers in the hood who didn’t get hit or taken to pieces like in the first one.

Frank Welker does Soundwave’s voice, as it was in the cartoon, but it sure doesn’t sound like him! If anything, the Decepticons who had lines in the cartoon, always had very distinctive voices and characters. Even more so for the Autobots – you could always identify an Autobot by their accent and what they said even if you weren’t looking at the screen.

So when the bigwigs stated in interviews that the cartoon movie killed off the characters to make new toys, I wonder if they realized how relatively fleshed-out each Transformer really was!

Watch this parody:

Heavy Metal Fight

Here you can see how strongly each character was defined, that they could make fun of each character. Each voice is pretty much spot on! Ironhide, Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave are supposed to sound like that! Now they are generic macho male voices. We didn’t even get to hear much of Mike Patton (my favorite metal voice ever – heard of Faith No More?)

At least, Skids and Wheelie were voiced by Tom Kenny a.k.a. Spongebob Squarepants. And interestingly, Frank Welker, the original classic Megatron voice, is the voice in Transformers: The Game (based on the live-action movie) but Hugo Weaving does Megatron in the live-action movies.

I didn’t like that they conveniently stole sci-fi capabilities from Stargate: SG-1 and X-Men – the Transformers universe as we knew it, didn’t have such things as robots made of spherical little General Grevious-es and robots that can be pimped faster than they can even transform! Some parts felt ridiculous in the way X-Men Origins: Wolverine did.

Oh, and there’s nothing at the end of the credits. I stayed so that the world would know!

Bonus kickass Youtube link of the day:

Kevin’s Transformer Videos

He did stop-motion transformation videos for his Transformers, even the Star Wars: Transformers ones (which would need even more patience!)

Witter

9 Replies

This is why I am not a fan of Gmail. It never liked me. 🙁

Yes, I am still at Hotmail.

Speaking of which, I am on Twitter! If you can tell what my default username is from the screenshot, you can Follow MeTM. That’s one way you’ll know when I’ve updated my blog.

Now, I really am not a fan of knowing where and what you had for lunch so I might not follow some of you back (with the exception of hot chicks.)

I am also not a fan of posting the content I produce – text, pictures and images, all over – that is why I do not really post any pictures in Flickr or Facebook. I hate having my works in a site, that could be closed down or become totally unpopular and uncool.

Remember Friendster? I used to write these awesome testimonials for friends. Then spammers and viruses infected the network and you won’t find a real testimonial on anybody’s testimonial page anymore. I still keep the testimonials I write for friends in a separate text file in my hard disk!

It’s like, you own it, but you are not guaranteed access to it, or you will eventually find it a lot harder to find what you’ve posted before.

Do you seriously think Facebook will be around forever? Some other site is going to supersede it eventually… but that site might drop some features that Facebook had. Or, Facebook reinvents itself, and you join the “I hate the new Facebook!” page.

And that, my dear friends, is why I post pictures on my blog mostly.

So, in that belief, I will re-tweet my only exclusive content Twitter tweets, here, in case Twitter gets rehauled someday into something we don’t recognize:

I’ll have the Guinness Record of having the shortest gastrointestinal tract. Yes I’m reporting live!
2:31 PM Jun 16th from mobile web

Shah Alamak!
4:33 PM Apr 29th from web

It’s always the right cheek. The left cheek just means that I wanted to, uh, adjust myself.
4:12 PM Apr 24th from web

Ever seen those awards on Flickr? There are a load of very easily impressed people.
10:41 AM Apr 21st from web

I hate that my digestive system has the capacity of a 850cc Kancil.
10:55 PM Apr 19th from web

I joined Twitter today for the sole purpose of coding so websites will have updates automatically shown on Twitter.
4:55 PM Mar 24th from web

Yes, my original Twitter posts are 50% about my tummy. I have six-pack abs but a small capacity stomach. I have a chiselled Greek nose but a sinus-prone nasal tract. You win some, you lose some.

Clubbed While Clubbing

38 Replies


Last Friday 15th May 2009, I went to TAG presents: Sounds Of The Universe: A Depeche Mode Black Celebration at Barsonic, Zouk KL. Who knew that I would get clubbed when clubbing?

I was in the middle of the dance floor, 16th May 2009 around 2 AM, when something or someone delivered a sharp blow to the right of my face, near my eye. I went, “wow what a blow!” and I turned to my right only to see a skinny-elbowed friend of mine. I thought she was overly excited about the song that just came on or something.

By reflex, I covered my head with my hand and it felt warm. I looked at my hand and there was warm blood all over it! I was bleeding profusely! So I ran to the toilet (scaring Clara on the way there) and looked in the mirror. Shit, the right side of my face was covered in blood.

The janitor there was very helpful to get tissue and apply pressure, and a random white guy brought me ice. Thanks random white guy! Thanks janitor dude!

The blood dripped down onto my shirt and inside it. Oh no there goes my nice shirt!

Many who came in went “whoa! What happened?”

And then came in this other dude in the picture, who says he was facing a wall when something/someone hit him! He thinks very strongly that it is not an accident and says whoever did this will get it.

So after a while of applying pressure, the bleeding reduced from soaking the entire tissue, to just leaving ‘marks’ of red. I then headed the hell out of that place (with Petrina documenting this.)

I found my friend who I last saw in the general direction of the blow; she said that she was sure she didn’t elbow anybody. I don’t know why I thought it could’ve been her elbow (as later examination of the wound would show, it certainly could not be a sharp elbow.)

The friend she was dancing with, told me that he got hit in the groin, so he thinks somebody in the crowd was very violent.

The bouncers outside had no bandages either. I later saw the other guy who got hit, and he was explaining the situation to a bouncer. The bouncer asked if he was going back in, and he said yes. They positioned a security officer at his table to watch out and look over the crowd. I don’t know if anybody was ever caught.

A while later, a guy came running out of Zouk, jumping over the railing, somersaulting and landing on the cigarette counter with his legs crashing forward into it. He then ran to the valet parking area where security officers caught him, and a guy was pointing at him. The suspect was bleeding at the forehead. I asked another onlooker where this guy was from, and he said Zouk.

Meanwhile, at the cigarette counter, a cigarette promoter girl was sitting on a chair, crying. The other promoters were standing in a circle around her while a few guys were trying to comfort her. I think the suspect could’ve landed on her or something, but it happened too fast for me to see.

So that was freaky, 3 people bled that night!

Still holding a tissue to my wound, I walked to the convenience store near Public Bank near KLCC. Got myself 2 bandages (one for each) but the guy helped me bandage and he decided that one would be enough to cover both. Took a cab home, bathed and shampooed (I hate the cigarette smell on my hair) and called my favorite St. John’s alumni, Wai Fon. She asked if I got the bandage wet – if it was moist it could lead to infection. So I peeled it off.


The upper gash is 2cm long and 2mm wide; the lower gash is also 2cm long and 2mm wide. Interestingly, there is also another mark behind it. I cannot figure out what could leave such a mark! I am however infinitely grateful that it didn’t get my eye and I can still see with both eyes! Likewise for the other guy who got hit. Still, bloody freaky that there are people out there doing this, whether intentionally or not! Please, dance responsibly! Take off any sharp accessories or bling that could bloody cut bloody wounds in people’s faces alright?

And if it is intentional… show yourself, chicken. If you want to teach me a lesson, let me know what it is first because I don’t even know what me or the other guy did!


Later I noticed that my right arm had a mark, possibly a follow-through from whatever it is that cut me. It didn’t feel like a sharp cutting motion, but more like an elbow or fist, oddly.


I had pretty much cleaned up all traces of blood except this spot under my watch. Also note the cigarette burn on my watch.


My shirt, argh! This is the right half. Doesn’t look like a lot here but now I know what amount of blood would come out for such a wound.


The next day, I went to the clinic when it opened. The doctor insisted I get 3 stitches. While I did get local anesthetia, it certainly was not reassuring that you could slightly feel him tugging at the skin. It was a rather long process, and I could hear him saying to his assistant, “potong ini. Bukan. Ini. Potong. Bukan. Bawah sini. Bukan.” I was lying on my left, and as he operated the blood trickled from the wound down past my eyes! His assistant had to swab it. Obviously, I closed my eyes and tried to be as calm as possible.

The lower gash had already dried so he could not do anything about it. So this is what I look like now; I think the yellow makes it look far more dramatic.

I am very thankful that all my life I’ve had a low accident and wound rate… I am usually in places which have a higher risk e.g. moshpits, front of stages (I got hit in the back of my head once by some drunken skinhead’s steel-toe boot as he was crowd surfing, no blood thank goodness, but it was a sign to get out.) I walk in seedy and dingy areas. So far I’ve been alright, and I find it funny that this should happen when I decided to come to Twilight Action Girl, in Barsonic, in Zouk for the very first time since they renovated. (I went for their “last” TAG night back in The Loft upstairs in Zouk, and was a regular back in 2004-2005. Ah, good old un-violent indie dance days.)

I also understand now why you always see medics and ambulances at big concerts. You guys are brave, keep it up! I’d hate to see people come to you, bleeding like mad.

P.S. to my skinny elbowed friend, I’m sorry I ever suspected it was your elbow!

P.P.S. Oh and when I got there at midnight, Panda Head Curry just finished their Depeche Mode acoustic tribute set, which I regret missing! They played like 2-3 Depeche Mode classics and never played anything from Depeche Mode after that. Kinda regret staying for that, then. I am a fan of Depeche Mode enough, to try to make an acoustic version of Martyr. Their stuff makes excellent emo, you know?

Megadaved

8 Replies

Feeling angry, a Dave Mustaine kind of angry.

One of my major, major pet peeves is when people do not credit me for pictures that I have taken for free (and they have taken it for free, too.) If you take it for free, please credit me.

I have to watermark my pictures, not because I’m afraid of it being stolen, but because people just keep forgetting to say where they got it from, so I take the trouble to put the watermark in so they don’t have to do it.

Heck, even if you paid me for pictures, don’t go around saying somebody else took it. (Fortunately, that has not happened.)

Somebody removed my watermark before and posted it. Then in real life he goes “Albert bro, I love your pictures maaan. I love the expressions you catch!” I don’t hate him, but if my watermark is that bothersome, you could either:
1) remove the watermark and put it in the text that accompanies the picture
2) ask me for a watermark-less picture while telling me you’d credit me

It costs me money to take your pictures. It costs me time and deprives me of sleep to process them. It costs me hard disk space to keep them. (And I had to buy a new hard disk, total expenses over RM400.) If I didn’t take pictures of people I probably would not have to get a new hard disk.

See, I care enough about you all that I don’t delete pictures of you! 😀

People are surprised when I point out that I took this or that picture. They say, “I thought you were someone who wouldn’t mind?”

Well, when I post pictures, people DO comment saying “hey I took THAT picture with your camera!” And I edit my post and apologize for forgetting to credit. I am not alone; people do care about getting properly credited!

Major credits to how Asyraf does it on his blog. On the sidebar it says “Photo credit to Stephanie Chong, for the profile photo“.

On a side note, I took my own profile picture on Facebook. Then I remembered that Jason took my blue-haired profile picture on Friendster so I logged in for the first time in years to add credits where credit was due.

Alda, if you’re reading this, it pisses me off each time I read an article about Estranged and it makes it sound like Lionel and you never had anything to do with the band. If it’s just a article about the current lineup I’m cool but if it’s one of those informational historic articles…

Speaking of history, I would raise my keris in anger if I was Hang Tuah/Hang Jebat and found out that I was removed from history books! Same goes for Yap Ah Loy.

Korn, N.E.R.D Cornered?

7 Replies

According to http://www.thejakartaglobe.com/news/article/13903.html:

World-renowned hip-hop group N.E.R.D. cancelled a planned Sunday night concert in Jakarta after band members were allegedly threatened with jail by Malaysian authorities and feared a repeat situation in Indonesia.

According to a press statement released by Java Festival Production and Urbanite-Sinjitos on Sunday, Malaysian authorities had twice denied N.E.R.D. � an acronym for No One Ever Really Dies � permission to perform at the Sunburst Kuala Lumpur International Music Festival for fear the band would offend Malaysians.

The statement said N.E.R.D. was eventually allowed to enter Malaysia and was not prevented from performing at the festival.

�But when they finished their repertoires, all of their passports were confiscated. This is a very bad precedent

Who Watches The Watchmen?

14 Replies

I do.

…and I liked it!

It really is not a movie for everybody, and that’s a bad thing, not a bad thing for the movie, but a bad thing that people don’t get it.

I liked The Spirit as well; it was understandable once you got past the part of Samuel L. Jackson with a toiletbowl and his little foot soldiers (geddit?) Or maybe I have a soft spot for such a badass. That’s kinda why I didn’t flip channels when Snakes On A Plane was on.

The plot was easy to follow as well – I didn’t feel lost. Dr. Manhattan’s and Rorschach’s mini-stories were fun to watch, too.

I enjoyed the period music (and that I recognized the artistes!) Earlier before watching the movie I heard a colleague playing Bob Dylan; I was surprised!

Me: Wow, you listen to Bob Dylan?
Rames: Yeah, this is from the Watchmen soundtrack!
(Later, Jimi Hendrix was playing.)
Me: Ooo, All Along The Watchtower! This was originally done by Bob Dylan. Lemme send it to you.

Little did I know that the Jimi Hendrix version was far more relevant to the movie – the song complete with electric guitar solo was the soundtrack to a kicking ass scene. (“two riders were approaching, and the wind began to howl” could not be more appropriate!)

I also really enjoyed their little montage through time, showing JFK’s bloody assasination (and The Comedian as the assasin!) It was no holds barred. The movie did not sugar-coat, or protect anything from little children. It was realistic – the bad guys acted realistically and the superheroes were realistic in knowing what they needed to do.

“But how can they show superheroes as bad people?”

Well, that’s real life. Who do you know is really good and noble and is good all the time? Eventually they become disheartened with their approach and give up being 100% good. You can be a good cop and catch a murderer, then just say “don’t do that again, life is precious!” and forgive the murderer and let him loose again. Is that going to work?

Also, are you 100% good only because you are paid to be?

How about politicians? Some of them do genuinely good things, but have little things like sex scandals. Some know better how to silence their secrets.

“Why are they having sex all the time? How are they going to save the world?”

Well, if I saw the Silk Spectre II in tight leather all the time (and perhaps nipple studs, but that’s left for Ozymandias) and saw her kicking ass, I too would jump her.

That leads to one basic law of attraction – people you watch become sexy to you.

A rock star standing by himself/herself is not sexy. A rock star rocking out, shouting and shredding on guitar is sexy.

A photographer standing by himself/herself is not sexy. A photographer directing and looking skillful (and not looking retarded squinting) is sexy.

A thespian standing by himself/herself is not sexy (and maybe might look a little odd.) A thespian acting in a play is going to get a lot of attention!

A girl I saw once was the frontwoman of a band; she would’ve looked normal otherwise, but when I saw her light up the stage, I knew I wanted to know her name, number and cook for her momma. Given that the only mishaps I make are in the kitchen I guess her momma would cook for me instead.


(Yes, that’s KFC Mashed Potatoes fresh from the microwave.)

It is also scientifically known that working out increases your sex drive. So let those superheroes bonk!

Then there’s another question – was Adrian Veidt actually a bad guy, even though you left the cinema thinking he was a good guy? I thought he could be bad, since it seemed like such a coverline that he’d wield the remote in time to save his bullet-dodging ass.

I thought it was noble that Rorschach realized Veidt was right, but he would not admit it – instead he left his fate to Dr. Manhattan.

Janey Slater: Why are you leaving me? Is it because I’m getting old?
Dr. Manhattan: But it’s true.

I could strongly relate to Dr. Manhattan, in the way I view the world in an outer, external way, with lessened concern for the people and their little concerns.

Near the end of the movie, when Seymour is asked by the newspaper editor to write an interesting story, the cinema ushers opened the doors… and people started flowing out. Did they all want to pee? I thought to myself, man you guys just didn’t get it.

Before the movie, a bunch of people in front of me were speaking Chinese. I thought then, if this was anything like The Spirit, you guys are not going to get it!

Also overheard – “Is this a cartoon? I think it is.” A pity then that the posters look like Batman & Robin hence the false impression.

I like these reviews found online:

I was not familiar with watchmen prior to seeing the movie. I had no trouble following the plot, knowing when we were in a flashback, or when we were in the “present.” I can see why the vast majority of idiots out there who like their stories spoon fed to them couldn’t follow it or didn’t understand it.

The problem watchmen had was that it was made for geeks and intellectuals, but advertised as the next big blockbuster. Watchmen is not going to have the same mass appeal as Xmen or or Spiderman, because the story goes deeper than they do into morality, philosophy, and human nature. That being said, the people who walked out of watchmen are, sadly, probably the people who could learn the most from a movie like it.

Posted by: T | Mar 12, 2009 4:41:28 PM

I think to many people went into this movie thinking they were going to see the superfriends.

– Conrad, age 41 (USA)

Oh, and finally, a star for Zack Snyder for keeping mostly to one of the most celebrated graphic novels of all time. Not that I’ve read it, but you can compare Wikipedia’s synopsis for the movie and graphic novel to see that they are pretty much the same!

I Saw Death

10 Replies

It came for some pussy.

Yesterday night I headed to a nearby mamak. I saw a tiny ginger baby cat, slightly scrawny, but with its ears pointing out in triangles, cross the road to some motorbikes parked there.

A father and son got on one of the motorbikes. It stood behind the exhaust, curious. The father turned around, and he spotted it. He avoided it as he rolled his motorbike out. It had no sense of danger or alertness as it stood there looking curiously.

A man was about to cross the road, when he walked into it, pushing it. It fell and lay there, probably distraught. I have no idea what kind of scale would a human foot’s walking impact would be. I didn’t hear it meow.

A Proton Wira approached. I flinched and turned away! I could not bear to look. I don’t even know if the car stopped or not… but when I turned to look, I saw it lying there and it was in a different position than it was before. Not a good one.

As if fate could not get any worse, a lorry approached.

The next time I turned… I saw something out of Happy Tree Friends.

I obviously didn’t take a picture but the image was stuck in my head, like it was my brain’s wallpaper.

I wondered how the young survive by themselves. Or do they? How do they learn what danger is? How do they know how to become street smart? How do they know of impending doom?

I didn’t even hear it. I don’t know if it was in shock from being walked into.

And then I thought of children. Human children. If they start crying… they stay immobilized in that one place. Even if they were crossing the road and they dropped ice-cream… they’d probably cry there and stand in one place!

At that point I felt annoyed at adults who do that. As in, if they’re in trouble, they get immobilized. They get stuck. They don’t get out of the dangerous situation.

I felt annoyed at Hong Kong dramas. Elderly husband and wife quarrel. Husband crosses road. A van approaches. Wife sees this, runs to his body, and cries. That’s fine really but moving the body out of danger should be in the sequence somewhere!

I felt annoyed that I have friends who are silly like that. Who get themselves deeper in shit. If you have such a friend, tell him or her off.

I wonder if Death was following me. Or, in some twisted Sixth Sense way, I was Death. Well I wouldn’t mind if Death came as Angelina Jolie (no, not Jennifer Aniston). Please don’t take my dad (though, he really does bear a striking malevolent resemblance to Anthony Hopkins.) Yeah that was a Meet Joe Black reference.

The next morning, I wanted to take a cab. It was raining. I saw a gray patch on the curb, just as I was about to open the door. Took a while to realize that it was a dead rat… with all its hair gone. I would not have recognized it it not for a solitary fly on it.

I told the cabbie my destination.

“My meter is dead.” The elderly cab driver told me.

“Okay, then it’s usually RM3 anyway.”

“No, where can, RM4 lah.”

RM4? CHOI!!! That’s an unlucky number! 4 means death in Cantonese!

No thanks, I told him.

Was the elderly cabbie Death? If so… Was Death trying to cheat me? Instead of me cheating Death?

Then I remembered who else Death could’ve brushed. My paternal grandmother is in the hospital because she got another stroke. I hope she gets well. I hope she wayyy outlives her husband who passed away in the 90’s in his 80’s. I miss him. I deeply regret that his last healthy years were spent bringing me to the KFC in Central Market. He was old and he wanted something strong in flavor; his sense of taste was diminishing already.

So I walked to my RM3 destination, puddles and motorbikes whizzing by. At that point I just had this premonition of limited mortality.

I reached the station anyway. I looked at the life line of my palms, in case it would animatedly erase away like what happened to Marty McFly in Back To The Future (in the movie, it was him disappearing from a picture). What a memorable scene, that was!

The last time I felt like this, I wrote an unofficial will. The feeling is very… inspiring.

Old Uncle Rant

11 Replies

So me and 4 other colleagues have been sent back to school for this week. In Subang Square, right next to the sights and sounds of Taylors Business School!

My class was to start at 9am, but I got off the Subang Jaya KTM station a bit too early. 7:15am to be exact. However, knowing that I would reward myself to a classic kopitiam breakfast at Uncle Lim’s (teh susu panas and roti bakar dua – hot tea with condensed milk and two pairs of toast with kaya and butter), I looked forward to it, and waltzed in through the doors of Subang Parade.

There were workers there, but it was obvious that they had not opened. So I sat on one of the chairs and closed my eyes for a bit, thinking they’d open soon…

A lady walked by a while later and asked what time they open. 8:30am, they said.

It was 7:30am! What was I to do? I could wait till 8:30am but I wouldn’t know how long the walk to Subang Square would be. It seemed near.

And so, I figured, I’ll see you later Uncle. Walked past the mosque and the McDonalds (which was 24 hours and was open for breakfast.)

Who the heck will get to have their breakfast at 8:30am? The workers who open the shops at Subang Parade at 10am? The rest of us have to work or go to class at 9am yo!

Well, I had class at 9am. Uncle Lim’s Subang Parade, have you hardly any time for the 9-5er? Not quite the reliable place to get a fix in the morning.

And so I walked towards Subang Square. Passed this van which sold yow char quai. I grabbed 2 pairs of that instead. Sizzling in the morning and a market-walking delight. It was brilliant. I would have taken a picture of it, but I ate it already.

Subang is a dirty place in the morning. Fresh falls instead of the black stains that adorn Chow Kit.

I then passed an Old Town Kopitiam in one of those shophouses. It was open! The sign outside said that it opens at 7:30am.

For once, I tip my hat to Old Town Kopitiam, they opened at the right time! Though, I still think their food and drinks are crap and deviant and taste a bit odd compared to what you’d expect if you ordered it from any normal uncommercialized kopitiam. It’s not real.

Their version of teh susu panas does not use condensed milk! Every single kopitiam I’ve been to, commercialized or not, uses condensed milk. That’s just how it is! But no, not them, there is no condensed milk in the teh susu panas at Old Town Kopitiam. Sure it may be healthy. But I say it’s a pussified version of it.

Normally, you get a spoon with teh susu panas so that you can scoop into the layer of (normally) condensed milk at the bottom of the cup, pull it up, and sip some tea while having that (normally) condensed goodness. That is the whole point of teh susu panas! You can then stir it in, or drink only the tea and leave the condensed milk behind (though I doubt you would.)

Don’t let me get started on their strange tasting roti bakar. I try a lot of commercialized kopitiams and to be fair, a lot of them don’t do it very well, often having hardened strips of butter and little kaya and overly hard toast. But Old Town Kopitiam adds to that by having this extra kick of flavor in their bread. Which, really, tastes weird.

Oh, and their hot lemon honey tea is horrid compared to their cold lemon honey tea. And traditional dishes are given untraditional touches. I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something done differently in each dish. Go ahead mess around with the formula, just don’t label yourself Old Town and imply some form of authencity. Pussy teh susu panas and warped hot chocolate is not authentic!

That said, I did not patronize Old Town Kopitiam this time. (I don’t like Starbucks or Secret Recipe either but social obligations sometimes lead me there.) Yes, I’ve landed in Old Town Kopitiam enough times to try different dishes in hopes of finding something that doesn’t taste funky.

And so, I ended up in Subang Square, at a mamak I’d never been to, where I ordered a teh tarik. It tasted exactly as I had imagined it would be. Because they don’t and won’t screw it up.

Later for lunch I had a teh o ais at a different stall. It tasted exactly as I had imagined it to be. Because they don’t and won’t screw it up.

So what is it with me and Secret Recipe then? I tend to order Iced Lemon Tea whenever I’m at an establishment of such class. And theirs has indeed a secret recipe – liquid sugar, loads of it! You will not get an Iced Lemon Tea sweeter in any other joint. Now when I go there, I drink pussy tea from pussy cups.

Yeah, I like condensed milk, but not liquid sugar.

I like watching college students and their antics too, before I get my cloak and axe. Well no I don’t have a cloak or an axe. So who’s from around there, give me a buzz for lunch yo! I really don’t remember who goes to Taylor’s. I don’t know what degree you’re doing, I never remember these things. I’m a terrible friend, sorry.

The R-Word

8 Replies

Here we have something from Lukas Rossi’s new band, Stars Down – a track named Bleeding The Dream:

Now compare that to Rock Star Supernova‘s first video, Headspin:

Man, what happened to Tommy Lee (Motley Crue), Gilby Clarke (Guns N Roses) and Jason Newsted (Metallica)? Did they all decide to get together in the name of Mark Burnett, king of reality TV, and make pussy music?

I could think of some local bands I see who make pussy music. But I’m too pussy to name them.

I’d also say that the one song I heard from Stars Down was impressive enough for me to say that they have a bit of dynamics ala A Perfect Circle. But I’m too pussy to say this, in case the real A Perfect Circle fans tell me otherwise, which would be legit since I really don’t know much about A Perfect Circle. I’d be more likely to buy a Tool album (but I didn’t, only because I rarely buy albums.)

I finally watched Airheads. When else will you see Adam Sandler as a rocker? I salute the movie’s capability to develop sympathy and the Stockholm Syndrome. You end up really liking Joe Montegna. And disliking Michael McKean as Milo, who turns KPPX Rebel Radio into an easy-listening station. But I loved him in This Is Spinal Tap as David St. Hubbard! Who would have thought until the credits roll and you head over to IMDB!

I caught Tropic Thunder too. Explosive action of the funniest degree. You’d know damn right that Jack Black wrote that scene in where he bites a bat’s head in tribute to Ozzy Osbourne. You just know it’s his idea. And woohoo to Edgar Winter Group – Frankenstein making it in the movie at one point. And boohoo to people who think Simple Jack was a bad joke – the joke isn’t in the m-m-m-movie itself, but in the lines that follow:

“Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, ‘Rain Man