Ring, Oh?

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So I told a heavily-plugged sadako-lookalike that I have never seen a Korean horror movie.


Her sweet, innocent, pretty smile with windswept hair (I swear my left hand wasn’t holding it up, or anything else for that matter) quickly changed to one of disbelief.


“Ouch! Something got in my eye!” (Note the weird finger contortion and extending fingernails.)


I felt something get in my eye too, and when I stopped rubbing my eyes, I looked up and shrieked to this.

Needless to say, Underworld 2: Evolution was relatively unviolent and ungory in comparison to my encounter with a real sadako. Now I don’t even dare to hold her hand during the scary bits!

Edit: Hmmm. I should’ve told her that I have not watched a single Tomb Raider movie.


Metal flows in my veins, and I tried to be gothic.

P.S. You must watch the first Underworld or you might not understand who is who and what is going on (e.g. about evil mystery wolves) and who is whose father and creator etc. I know I didn’t.

Star Wars Was, Is. Has. Transformers!

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So I bought the brand new Star Wars Transformers. (I got it a while back; just got Luke Skywalker to complete the first set.)


For its price, which was 75% of a Transformer Alternator, it was amazingly detailed. It took after the Star Wars series, with a penchant for detail and quality.


Featuring the cowardly robot.


The one who would teach them all.


The heavy-breath-taking father.


The eager son.


Note the paintjob on the helmet! Superb craftsmanship.


I might as well take time to squeeze in a little photography lesson; when taking macro shots, switch to Aperture Priority if you have such an option, and change the aperture to say F5.6 to get more of the picture in focus. F2.8 (on the left) means that less of the picture would be in focus. Below is a missile from Luke Skywalker’s X-Wing; note the ball-release mechanism. I loved it compared to the spring-loaded missile launchers because it was less likely to jump out during transformation.


Yes, that’s right kids; the mini-me figurine can fit in their vehicles! Major props for the innovative design. Also, all except General Grevious’ Wheel Bike have smart ways of storing their lightsabers when in vehicle mode (and no, it doesn’t turn off and retract.)

And I wonder too; if Obi’s mini-me is in scale to his Jedi Starfighter, and his droid is in scale to it too, and Luke is in scale with R2D2 and X-Wing, why is Obi’s droid so big?


Anyway, action figures were meant to be posed, as much as their articulation would allow, and boy are these Transformers articulate. Sure, they have the chunky old-school look, but I love it. In a way, it was like the transforming ship in Spaceballs.


Yeah, yeah, technically this scene could never happen.


“Luke, I am your father.”


“What a way to do a DNA test. At least the videos were good, none of that Wookie-on-Gungan trash.”

Trouble Gangs Us

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Troubagangers, La Bodega KL, 5th February 2006; the pictures follow.


Justin Wong, on Suzuki-branded acoustic guitar, gets flashed by fans.


Broken Scar sings songs in the key of major.


Lisa‘s guitar sounded jangly and piercing, perhaps due to bad sound EQ?


Errol de Cruz does some good ‘ol country.


Zack Tay features band slut Alda.


Su Ann reads poetry.


Ian Chow‘s voice doesn’t need a mike.


The Sofa Sessions feature Fikri the crooning waiter.


Finally, Rafil projects his masterpiece manifesto with Panda Head Curry. They had what they called an interactive performance; when they sang the Gator Farm song, they passed out KFC Chicken Popcorn, so we could experience the chorus:

“And it tastes like chicken, smells just like chicken, finger lickin’ chicken, fine!”

With Ben of Ben’s B***hes as backing vocals and guitar, they then went on to hilarious songs about Kim Jong-il and homophobia. I wish I kept the lyrics sheet.


And yes, Rafil does look like a Panda Head. Yes, I know, my Photoshop skills aren’t as good as yours.

For an alternate take, check out The Troubagangers Report and Edrei‘s account.

Five Characters In Weird

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Rules of the game:
1. Post 5-weird/random stuff about yourself.
2. At the end, list the names of 5 people whom you want next to do this, and leave a comment “YOU ARE TAGGED!” in their blog and tell them to read your blog for rules. Everyone has done it. If you’re inspired, you can do it again!

I don’t even remember who tagged me! I do remember wanting to do this though.

1) I don’t like carrying things with my hands

When walking about in a shopping mall, I’d rather hang the plastic bag (if it’s a small item like say Lays Stax Salt & Vinegar that doesn’t fit in a pocket) from my camera belt pouch.

2) My accent changes

I am truly Malaysian. I am so lacking of a distinct Chinese identity. I sound Malay and Indian sometimes. I talk loudly like an Ah Beng. I dress like a Malay and I have long rocker hair. I sound Indian and call people “deyyy“.

3) I practice all my lines to a telephone while you were sleeping

Well, not exactly to a phone, but sometimes, a future conversation plays in my head. It’s like I’m getting ready my lines for you. If I do talk to myself (alone that is) it’s not a case of imaginary friends. It’s a case of me imagining that my friends are there!

4) I avoid touching handles when pushing doors

I’d also love to be able to pull doors without touching the handle, but I’m no Spiderman. Everyone knows, from antibacterial spray advertisements, that the most germs live on doorknobs and handles. So, I usually push it with the side of my elbow. (Do you ever touch your elbow? Compare that to using your hands, where hand-foot-mouth diseases can then reach your mouth.) I’m sure I annoy glass window/door cleaners.

5) I can’t make most bodily sounds

I can’t voluntarily burp. Heck, I don’t even burp often. I can’t snap my fingers. I can’t whistle.

However, I can crack my knuckles, and at times I wish I had a muffler, if you know what I mean.

Instead of tagging, I’ll put some funny links: Funny T-shirts, and the Perry Bible Fellowship, funnier and wackier than Bizarro, with amazing artwork that changes style often. (Archives are linked from his bio page.)

Gay? Bah

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Out of the blue, a friend asked on MSN:

albert are you gay?
hahahahaha why
tell me honestly, are you?
why do you think so ah
hmmm
you think i like rainbows? you wanna introduce me to a guy?
do you have frens who are gay?
yes, i have friends who are gay
ok..do you know how diff gay?
how different?
how to differentiate lar
well, gays usually like Mariah Carey
really?
yeah
why arr?
why la you asking
cuz arr…hmmmm im kinda fall for someone lor… frens all suspect he is a gay
then he probably is. 😛
arr?
introduce to me la, then i find out for you 😉
u know why..cuz that’s usually a guy in and out with him, wearing the same design pendant, same hair style
means matching?
hmm… what do u think?
how about his shoes? are they very clean?
yeah. very
OOOOOOOOOO
he’s my instructor lar
instructor for? gym?
yeah
is his hand soft? i mean, like when he talks, does he flop his hand
hmm i didnt notice
means don’t have la? wait wait, why you suspect me aaa?
maybe yes but i didnt notice
how would you know if i am gay?
i dont know… heard from ed long time ago, i couldnt remember
so why did he say that?
hahaha
i mean, he got reasons ah? i mean, i thought i look pretty straight
you heard from Ed… or Shaz?
yo you there?
wait arr on the phone
ok

If I told her I wasn’t, I would not be able to find out why she thought I was gay.

The next day, I watched Actorlympics, where the flamboyant gay guys were the funniest, as always.

The day after that, I was kissed by a guy. Two girls made a deal; “you guys kiss for two seconds, and we’ll make out for 30 seconds.”

It didn’t matter to me whether they did it or not, I’ve been there, seen that. And I didn’t mind a meaningless kiss from between straight guys, because really, in the end, we did it not because we wanted to see them make out, but because they so obviously wanted to make out so badly, and needed some excuse.

But hey, guys kissing are a lot more precious than a mere 30 seconds. And if I wanted to see girls making out in real life without having to kiss a guy, I could hop over to Frangipani when it is their ladies night.

I went to dance, and when I came back, apparently all the guys had kissed each other.

Or maybe they were just getting back at us, as the girls wanted to drop by Frangipani before Zouk.

Finally, I made up for all the gay debauchery on Saturday. Bored of all the Klang Valley malls, I headed to Jusco Seremban 2 (there you have your answer for the sign) with LIMITED EDITION 01. The place smelled of food all over, and it reminded me of Ikano a lot; parallelogram-shaped wide shops and modern, brightly-lit design.

Unfortunately, I am not able to tell a story as imaginative as hers, so I’ll just say we went to watch Pink Panther. It was well-executed slapstick. However, watching Mr. Bean on TV, I still think the British are the best at slapstick and comic timing. In Mr. Bean, for example, the kid uses a remote control to control a toy boat. The remote seems to be spoiled, so Mr. Bean hacks the remote control, and unwittingly makes it take control of a electric wheelchair. He then drives the boat across the pond, with the poor man in wheelchair rolling in the background. He hands it to the kid, and the kid turns it, unaware that the wheelchair is about to crash into him.

With Pink Panther’s style, you’d see the wheelchair hit the boy into the pond, with a splash, and the man’s expression as he flies into the water. Funny.

With Mr. Bean, they cut to the next scene. Funnier.

Interestingly, Inspector Jacques Clouseau is seen in one scene downloading a ringtone for System Of A Down – B.Y.O.B.! Rock on, old incompetent Frenchman.

More interesting was the taxi ride to KL Sentral; the taxi driver asked, “You pergi mana? Seremban?” Caught by surprise, I mumbled, “Bukit Bintang“. Then he asked, “jumpa amoi?”

On Sunday however, I found the love of my life! I never had the real thing in my hands until late last year; one was from London, the other, Australia. We could have a few quickies under one minute. People would look at us on the LRT.

ARGH! After I got Hannna to get me one from Selfridges London, and Ed got me one from Australia, I finally found this, at RM24.95 at Toys’R’Us Express, The Mall, near Putra World Trade Centre. Bloody hell that’s USD 6.56 (online, USD12)! Why was it cheaper? I found that they stuck a white label over the Milton Bradley and Hasbro Toys logos. No wonder it was cheaper!

It felt more consistent than the Australian cube, solid and did not lock. It didn’t seem like friction, but it felt slower, and slower it was; 74 seconds was twice my record.

Subcultured

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Guess what this is.

Anyway, I got off the Kepong KTM Komuter station, and the walkover was in darkness. I heard some skinheads laughing rowdily in the background, with black jackets, studded belts, boots and blond mohawks. In the darkness, I heard some tapping; it was a blind man, to my left, with a walking stick (as in, a stick that aids his walking, not a stick that walks.)

“Abang mau pergi mana?” (Where do you want to go brother?)

One of the skinheads was guiding the blind man!

They joked about the darkness and how they could relate to him. All four of them sent him off past the ticketing machines.

A touching moment, not easily captured on film due to the lack of light all around the station.

People in subcultures are still helpful Malaysians, you know.

Gossip Twirls

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Sarah asked me once why I do not put pictures of chicks much. Well, quite simply, I was being proper and permission-asking, I told her, since some people get all hissy about it. Or maybe she just wanted some pimpage on my blog, read by loads of rockers, lesbians, geeks, colleagues, alcoholics in denial, bloggers who don’t step out of their homes, amateur photographers, friends, Romans and countrymen. 😛

The subject for today is: How do you tell if a girl is gossippy? Quite simple.


Subject A is seen here on the phone. What does she do with her other hand while on the phone? Twirl her hair, of course. (Note that hair-twirling only happens at a comfortable length; thus, if she has twirls and curls at the top of the head, it is unlikely that it is caused by her message-disseminating pastime.)


However, the girls you really gotta watch out for are those with straight hair. Why? They don’t have twirls, because both hands are busy holding phones. 😛

Troubadours KL, No Black Tie(s)

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15th January 2006 was the second and last time I’d ever step into the new No Black Tie (the first was for Moonshine KL). The authorities then decided to revoke the license. Argh!


I just realized who Jerome Kugan sounded like. Stephen Morrissey. His unique clean, glass-like voice and vocal inflections reminded me of the great satirist songwriter. I was listening to Black Smiths – How Sweet Is Leaf and realized that it sounded very familiar. Research followed, and I found out that it was from The Smiths – How Soon Is Now. You may recognize it, covered by Love Spit Love, as the Charmed theme song.


Deserters featured Izuan Shah of Auburn and Kawalski (I think.) I’d have to say I prefered Izuan’s alternative rock stuff to this more straight folky stuff.


Keng, from Furniture, was a good ol’ rock and roll superstar here, with Azmyl Yunor‘s rarely ever seen band. He had the bluesy rock licks, the desirable red Gibson SG, and loads of stage time to let loose, gazing at the fretboard instead of his shoes.


It was also Azmyl’s birthday.


Broken Scar sees the light.


His brother backs up on major key acoustic goodness.


Shahril of Sofa Sessionists has just one bass tone; dancy. Ariff squeezes my soul everytime he does a Red Hot Chili Peppers cover. 😀


Eu Seng and his band…


…the enveloping void of darkness. I can’t decide which picture better depicts the lonely melancholy of his haunting songs.


Zack Tay Yee Meng pops on stage for an open mike. As always, his Taylor glows on stage.


Finally, our favorite underground scene defender and jail-bailer, Rafil of 360 Degree Head Rotation and Panda Head Curry ends the show.

The next Troubadours will be at KL Performing Arts Center this Sunday! Head on down for a heck of a scenic view.

Alex, Uh, He Bows To Zack Wild

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So my eBow Plus finally arrived. Yup, this baby creates feedback on guitar strings, allowing me to make violin-like, attackless sounds with the guitar. Harmonica, flute, string sections, theremins and the like can be coaxed from a guitar. It came with a badge which implied “no picks allowed” but I don’t use picks anyway. 😛


I was thinking of getting new strings while at it, considering how likely I’d get rabies from the old ones. I got myself Elixir .011 Polyweb strings. Shiny, smooth buggers with a coating that would protect it from rust and grime, allowing it to last 3-4 times longer than normal strings. Sadly, it was the only one left, or else I’d have gotten the electric ones, at most .010 or .009 gauge. This one however was for acoustic, and had a wound third string. 🙁 Blues bending would need lots of strength and practice on the third string. Also, because the strings were slippery, I was more likely to lose my grip while bending, for the strings to painfully snap back.


I also could not locate pliers (I don’t have a string cutter) so what do you do with leftover wire? The Polyweb strings could not snap just by bending it back and forth!


And so, I made my Yamaha look like a BC Rich. Cellotape them up and your guitar’s looking sharp.

Sadly, the Polyweb strings make it a lot harder to activate the feedback on the eBow. Recordings shall come soon enough; I’ve been playing The Beatles – Yesterday for a while now, and now I can lay down the backing string sections with the eBow!

There you go people, a guitar-related post. How could you guys not know that I play guitar? I even have a metal guitar slide, a ukelele and a wah pedal!

On a side note, check out Zack Kim‘s blog! This crazy shredder shreds with Cosmic Funk Express and now shows off how he can play two guitars with two different guitar lines on video! Where? On Zack Kim‘s site, of course!

Of Cheese And Camels

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So I went for a movie marathon with a cheesy chick, who, with the magic of her Steadyshot Sony Cybershot T9, has managed to capture a picture with the right angle and lighting such that it looked like I slept a good 8 hours every night.

Some of you may recognize the shirt.

Some of you may also notice that I don’t usually camwhore; that is because with her magical skills with the uh… lighting and angle of the camera, I looked like the bed was my best friend.

Anyway, what is a movie marathon but a celebration of movies, in plural form, in more than one? Alas, two is not grand, toe-numbing and worthy of the epic porportions that the word “marathon” implies. But still.

Big Momma’s House 2 was just alright, not too in-your-face black, not over-the-top, but that is subjective to how many black movies you’ve seen to say that Big Momma was relatively not as annoying as some other black “whatcha looking at foo?” movies.

Prime, with a name like Meryl Streep, initially scared me as I thought her name would imply a chick flick. Thank God it wasn’t, and that it was a romantic comedy, with a shy Jewish momma’s boy I could relate to, and an unusually hot 37-year old. Oh. Then, it was revealed that she was a model, and that she was Uma Thurman who incidentally is 36 this year. She did look familiar, but it didn’t strike me who it was. A pleasantly good surprise for a movie I did not read any synopsis on, and a much more mature, logical and believable than A Lot Like Love.

I then bought the original DVD to Wallace & Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit! The bonus DVD features include DVD games where you gotta whack bunnies that pop out of holes (very inventive use) and dressing up Lady Tottingham, for example. There’s also an alternative ending. Way cool. Eat your hearts cheese out, people!