Singlehood Pains

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Is it that great to be single?

These are the wonderings of a guy who has been single all his life. Serious. He’s never had a girlfriend. Excuse? Never had the courage to make a move, or the targets were taken.

Why savor being single?

Who the heck has the right to say that being single is better than being in a relationship? If you think you do, you’ve had sucky relationships (which explains why you’re single, ha!) Sure, it’s easy for someone who’s been in and out of relationships to say, “Hey, having a girlfriend sucks!” How about those who’ve been single all their lives? They’d have no right to say that, never knowing what a relationship is like. I say have at least one relationship first, then only say, “Guys suck! I’m never gonna go out with one, much less look at one!” It would be just like saying, “I like being single because I’ve never had a relationship and wouldn’t know which is better.”

Try before you cry.

Soulmates?

“There’s no such thing!” I’m sure you’ve heard that lecture everytime the word comes out. Soulmates are just conjured words from the modern day talispeople (is that right?) who write your horoscopes. Most girls will just call their current infatuation their soulmate because of some minor coincidences, then break up and say that he was not the one. Not the soulmate. The next boyfriend will then take over the role of ‘soulmate’. To some, soulmates are just another word for boyfriends!

Jilted?

Yep. That’s what’s holding them back. Don’t give me that lame excuse that you’re never gonna go after the opposite sex again because you were rejected or dumped! There are over 6 billion humans in the world, and at least 45% (I think) of the world’s population are of the opposite sex! So what if you’ve been dumped? If you can’t take rejection, that’s okay. Nobody really does. The important part is to move on. You will meet other people. You will have a crush all over again. Your hormones will ensure that you do. If you’re ugly, you’ll grow out of it, or develop skills that will earn you enough to buy you makeup, or plastic surgery.

Hmm I think I just dissed the facially-unattractive crowd, so here’s a vanity quote I want you people who think you’re too ugly for the world to recite:

“I’m not good-looking; I just need less makeup to look good.”

Think positive thoughts! =]

(If you want to whack me up now, remember I share your singlehood pains!)

Hello World!

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Programmers do need to say, “Hello World”! We coders are stuck behind the computer for hours, slaving away to bits and pieces of cryptic code! (This also explains why we’re so cryptic ourselves…)

What if the code doesn’t work? FUBAR, that’s what. It’s FUBAR or “Hello World”. It’s easier than composing a whole blog entry (like I’m doing now) and then finding out that your code doesn’t work!

Why Blog?

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Here’s a little question-and-answer session between Albert, the webmaster, and Albert, the skeptical surfer. Don’t look down on our schizophrenia!

Why blog?
Simple. To release stress. It’s therapheutic. I tend to keep things, especially bad things, to myself. I don’t express my emotions out loud, or at least not in real life. The Internet is the best tap. Perceived anonymity.

Why tell all your personal secrets?
Is it not obvious that I am not scared of being stalked? I’ve always been honest on the Internet. Sure, everybody else is lying, hiding behind an online persona. That’s too hard for me to do consciously. Anyway, I figure, why write into a diary beautifully with words and poetry?

Why take the effort? It’s not like your parents will sneak into your room and flip through your diary, admiring the prose and verbosity of their Shakespearian child.

You don’t show off your diary to friends. With blogs however, you can. Once it’s online, it’s public. It’s too late. I tend to do that with emails, too! When I can’t figure out how to improve on it, I just hit Send!

Don’t you have a life?
“First, you must define what the meaning of life is.” Seriously, I don’t. I don’t have a social life, at least. I write when I feel bad or disturbed about something. At least people can read and comment. Every surfer is my psychiatrist! Great huh? I’m just lying here on the couch. 😉

Aren’t they psychos out there?
Well, if they bother to read about my problems, and they bother to reply, they’ve got at least one brain cell more! Besides, I can’t pay to see the shrink… =( Even more besides – I’m more psychotic than them!

There you have it – my reasons for blogging. You can’t stop me! Muahahahaha!

What Is This About?

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Here’s a brief intro to my blog, my style (which is very different from other blogs). This is so you know what to expect.

1) No life story. I won’t tell you what happened to me, what route the bus took (it’s all the same, you see?), how much gold I earned from exploring my nasal tunnels, and so on. No live commentary. Work is interesting, but I won’t make you share the pain.

2) Loads of philosophy, technical theories and generally wondering about the world and its occupants. A lot of it. I like to think. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t. They’re just too lazy. This is also why I make little or no sense to them. I am simplifying my English so you, the reader, can get this point! :/

3) I won’t come to the point when I only update to say I’ve added more pages, but this won’t be the only page that gets updated. I don’t intend this to be a portfolio, but I don’t intend it to be one-page blog either. (Sounds like a One-Hit Wonder, eh?) I can be more than that! 🙂

4) Identity protection. I will try my very best not to squeal on you. ;P Of course, I will incriminate (accidentally, even) people, describing too much of the situation that the culprits will know who they are, even if I don’t say who. If you’re really nice, I’ll put your name in. =] Otherwise, you’ll get a scathing essay. >:[

5) No excessive pictures. I’m not a cam girl (I’m not even a girl, you lecherous brain-between-legs surfer!) Maybe some pictures to prove the point. This will be mostly readable stuff. I might throw in superlatives and sexual terms to cultivate interest (and to wake you), but there won’t be any really gross references or profanities. I’m all for the proper usage of profanities (which is, only when necessary). 0:)

6) If you have read this far, you’d have concluded what everyone else has – that I am a computer nerd. You’re smart that way. I sometimes have writing spurts, wherein my language suddenly becomes comprehensible, lively, and easy to understand! Watch out for those moments! They’re good!

7) Linkage and pimpage? Not much. I wouldn’t even link to my boss’ site! It’s up to my lazy self to link, anyway. Don’t expect pimpage from me; I couldn’t imagine typing the same URL again and again just because you’re my friend today, tomorrow, and the day after that!

Oh dear. I was too particular. After writing the guidelines, which trap me in a corner, I don’t know what I can say anymore. Sad, huh?

Ragger – Rag Him

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Rag him (X4)

We’re gonna whack up someone unlucky
We’re gonna whack up somebody nerdy
Yeah

Rag him – When I feel like being violent
Rag him – It’s a kind of punishment
Rag him – You’re no longer innocent
All this time I never knew
Where the fun was – let’s go rag him!

We’re gonna gang up – you had better run
We’re gonna gang up – isn’t it pure fun
Yeah

Rag him – In my school it’s prominent
Rag him – Your manliness document
Rag him – You’ll never be confident
All this time I never knew
Where the fun was – let’s go rag him!

Rag him (X4)

Crime Pays – Absolutely Must Watch

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Chorus:
It ends when the boy gets the girl
TV is such a predictable world
And while those evil plans always get botched
I absolutely must watch
Slugs they dodge

Santa claus comes in a sleigh
His rotund frame is impossible to weigh
And if you’ve been bad you should pray
Within half-an-hour all is okay
As long as you’re in a coma
Your pulse reading becomes straight for drama
How many days is too far
That your twin makes out with your spouse in the car?

Refrain:
Your clothes never change at all the next day
And your hair never falls from too much hairspray
You always seem to have witty things to say

It ends when the boy gets the girl
TV is a predictable world
And while those evil plans always get botched
I absolutely must watch
Slugs they dodge

How many eons you stay
Where you’ll never return home so far away
Things revert back come what may
Background music we can see noone play
As long as they have that wide smile
You’ll discover antidotes in that vial
You know they’ve got your file
A complot will give you an unfair trial

Refrain
Chorus

And

Refrain
Chorus

It ends when the boy gets the girl
They claim their meeting’s just cordial
Though this rarely becomes controversial
You know there’s something special

Chorus

Slugs they dodge

Ruminature – Infernal Frame

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Chorus:
Close your eyes
Listen up now you guys
Do you hate what’s appearing
Ads I cannot stand
Do you feel it’s lame
This I’m really hating
Is this boxed thing
An infernal frame

I know there’s conspiracy brimming
They watch us when we are surfing
Privacy breaking
Do you feel it’s lame
This I’m really hating
For is this boxed thing
An infernal frame

It’s to blame
For the crash that came
So why companies use this method to gain fame?
Do they realise it stains their name
Huh?

Chorus

Tal Cokeman – I’m So High

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No blood flesh nor bone
My skin is a pale tone
I suffer my pain alone
Yet I feel like I’m happy
From vapours sniffed nasally
Maybe I’m just dizzy
Impure speed makes me thirsty

Chorus:
‘Cos I’m so high
High on poppy
I’m so drowsy
I’m so high
On barbiturates
And sulphates
Or who hates
Dream states
I’m so high
On LSD

First they gave it for free
Then they charged me money
I paid or I would go crazy
Why can’t a drug addict
Get a job and keep it
I hope that they won’t evict
Please don’t force us to exit

Chorus

I pop amyl nitrite
I’m hooked, I cannot quit
Those pretty hues are really neat
And somehow I can’t defeat
The calling of the next hit
The white packets I’ve lit
Freebasing gives me a fit

Chorus

3 Marks Down – Much Despair

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I took a load of what was free whatever I could find
I left my wallet lying somewhere the branded fake kind
I watched prices when they shrink in size or balloon
I feel I’ll go on a splurge soon

I watched people collect, plug-and-play and connect
I became green, jealous, envious of elite few select
One’s not sufficient therefore I bought the rest
Don’t know its use but I know it’s the best

Chorus:
Yes I am crazy, your success is more than I can bear
If you beat me that’s unacceptable that’s my nightmare
One failure is too much so I’ll jump from up there
I can’t take much despair

Subjects I’m strong, subjects I’m weak
But still with teachers I would plead
If they don’t add marks then I think I will get a nosebleed
Paid big bucks to see papers leak
I’m not honest, I have copied
I must not lose, I have to be in the lead