Category Archives: Love

Alda: The Wake

Alda Evan Tan, rest in peace.
Alda Evan Tan, rest in peace.

Danny New on guitar and later violin.
Danny New on guitar and later violin.

Collin and a guitarist whose name I did not get, sang songs in tribute to Alda.
Collin and a guitarist whose name I did not get, sang songs in tribute to Alda.

Darren Teh, brother of Kevin Teh/Broken Scar (Alda's best friend) sings.
Darren Teh, brother of Kevin Teh/Broken Scar (Alda’s best friend) sings.

Alda apparently sold off all his other basses, including a cool double bass, ending up with just her. I don't remember her name.
Alda apparently sold off all his other basses, including a cool double bass, ending up with just her, Scarlet. (Thanks to the administrator of the Pray For Alda Evan Tan Facebook page for the reminder of the bass guitar’s name.)

Peter Hassan Brown, scene veteran, always ready with guitar and folk tune in hand.
Peter Hassan Brown, scene veteran, always ready with guitar and folk tune in hand.

Alda played bass for Soft Touch as well, Peter's band!
Alda played bass for Soft Touch as well, Peter’s band!

Esty Richard, vocalist for Once Upon A Time There Was A Sausage Named Bob, has a powerful voice!
Esty Richard, vocalist for Once Upon A Time There Was A Sausage Named Bob, has a powerful voice!

Jared of Once Upon... oh heck we'll just call it by what they like to call themselves when they don't feel like being wordy - Bob The Sausage.
Jared of Once Upon… oh heck we’ll just call it by what they like to call themselves when they don’t feel like being wordy – Bob The Sausage.

Elliott, a drummer from a long time ago, who played with Alda in Shelley Leong's Band and Cosmic Funk Express. Alda always had a drum buddy who would form a tag team. Elliott had not been seen around when he suddenly came up and played a song, waving to people (but we all struggled to recognize him in his new hair!)
Elliott, a drummer from a long time ago, who played with Alda in Shelley Leong’s Band and Cosmic Funk Express. Alda always had a drum buddy who would form a tag team. Elliott had not been seen around when he suddenly came up and played a song, waving to people (but we all struggled to recognize him in his new hair!)

Collin, left, plays guitar while Aldwin shows us where Alda's musical talent comes from. Except that Alda doesn't actually sing!
Collin, left, plays guitar while Aldwin shows us where Alda’s musical talent comes from. Except that Alda doesn’t actually sing!

C. Loco on the left. Not sure if that's Slyde on the right, but it does not look like him!
Slyde on the left and C. Loco on the right. Bald brothers!

Aldwin on the far right holds an iPad with lyrics, while Zona Marie in the middle sings along. I didn't catch the name of the girl on the far left. Zona also tells the most heart-wrenching stories of good times with her brother.
Aldwin on the far right holds an iPad with lyrics, while Zona Marie in the middle sings along. I didn’t catch the name of the girl on the far left.

Zona also tells the most heart-wrenching stories of good times with her brother.

Collin proposes to Joanne, while Danny plays guitar in the background. They met in the course of planning out fundraisers and other ways to help Alda's condition.
Collin proposes to Joanne, while Danny plays guitar in the background. They met in the course of planning out fundraisers and other ways to help Alda’s condition.

They got engaged and now he's taking her away.
They got engaged and now he’s taking her away.

The crowd at Alda's wake.
The crowd at Alda’s wake.

Adam Lobo and the crew.
Adam Lobo and the crew.

Aldwin, Alda's father, on the right, with a priest who says some prayers.
Aldwin, Alda’s father, on the right, with a priest who says some prayers.

Dragon Red, acoustic, with Adam on the left and Amil on the right, played earlier, but then jammed with Esty here.
Dragon Red, acoustic, with Adam on the left and Amil on the right, played earlier, but then jammed with Esty here.

All pictures taken at St. Ignatius Church, on the 13th of June 2012, at Alda Evan Tan’s wake ceremony, with a Sony Alpha NEX-5, a E-mount 16mm F2.8, an LA-EA1 adapter and an Opteka 85mm F1.4 in A-mount.

I did not get to go to his funeral, regrettably.

With this set of pictures, it should be closure – there aren’t any more pictures relating to him after this.

More here:
Come Together For Alda
Moonshine: A Fundraiser for Alda Tan
Rockafellas Come Together
Earth Hour 2012, Pray For Alda
What Do These Bands Have In Common?

My Lovely Man

You know you’re screwed when you can relate to love songs written by gay men.

Elton John – I Want Love

I want love, but it’s impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated

I can’t love, shot full of holes
Don’t feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don’t feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won’t break me down
Won’t brick me up, won’t fence me in
I want a love, that don’t mean a thing
That’s the love I want, I want love

I want love on my own terms
After everything I’ve ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I’ve seen so much traffic

So bring it on, I’ve been bruised
Don’t give me love that’s clean and smooth
I’m ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I’ve had enough

Other gay men who write such beautiful songs are Freddie Mercury and Rufus Wainwright.

N.H.M.

My new office featured a grand relocation; I am now seated amongst a bunch of quiet workaholics.

We were having lunch with newfound colleagues who usually sat at the other end of the office. Somebody cracked a joke, and I laughed.

Eh, your laugh is like Lisa’s!” (Names changed to protect privacy.)

Oh really? I’ve never heard her laugh before even though she sits opposite me. She’s always busy at work.

You know, this means something! You guys are meant to be! Fated! No other people I know laugh the same way!

Fortunately, Cupid never shot any arrows in our direction.

I know someone who eats Indomee the exact same way I do, and we share the same preference for food and have the same food allergies. Does Cupid shoot?

No.

Why?

While it would be cute, it would eventually be too horribly cutesy for everyone, the way we do everything alike.

(…though an opposite-like couple can still be horribly cutesy, heh.)

A Post About My Girlfriend

She follows me around. Or maybe, I bring her around.

I see her at work.

She’s by my side when I sleep.

I love walking with her, and stopping to smell the flowers.

She hangs around.

She opened up my eyes to new horizons. She captivates and captures. She inspires me.

You have no idea how proud I am of her – I can sit and talk to guys for hours about her. They say I’m bordering on obsessive. They don’t know how much more than obsessive it is. She’s always on my mind.

And yet, I introduce her to my guy friends. If they like her too, I am all the more happy.

Likewise, she helps me meet chicks! I can’t tell you how much I take that for granted, that she’s so accomodating.

For she, now she, I really positively love and will feel a strong sense of yearning when I don’t see her, and it saddens me that I do have such a strong dependency on her.

I am not afraid to be seen with her. She sits on my lap on the bus and I shoot a straight face at whoever looks at me with very much a disapproving glance. They’re just jealous.

And here’s another thing to be jealous about – she doesn’t mind polygamy, as long as she knows that I love her the most. 🙂

Which comes to another tangent – I… well, I have not had sexual relations with her. Some say it’s very wrong. Am I one to waver to beliefs imposed upon us?

All You Need Is

Despite my accidentally non-conformist nature, I am really deep down inside, a conformist. I want to fit in!

However, I have decided to skip this year’s celebration of commercialism. Hmmm, commercialism. That word makes me sound like a whiny cynic grouching over every celebration where there is money to be made. But hey, making money is cause for celebration!

‘sides, how do I top Hannah Sarah Tan?


(From last year’s blog post.)

I still remember when I first saw Hannah Sarah Tan hannah t‘s Christmas CD in a magazine shop. I bought a 100 Plus canned drink, and noticed her CD going for RM18 (I think.) Wow. Without realizing, I gave the cashier two RM10 notes!


On a lighter note, there’s Andrea Veronica Fonseka (who refuses to rebrand herself Andrea F.) I can attest to seeing her in a bikini before that infamous picture, and she was certainly did not look like that then. Must be the rich food over there.

Watch out kids, 81% of hand-foot-mouth disease transmissions happen on February 14th. So stay home and avoid the plague!

Then again, if you can top being a top model, now-famous blogger model, hot dancer or car model… or you have a different, unique angle to sell, give me a buzz and I might haul my ass out.

In other news, spot me in the February 2007 issue of KLue. Sorry Davina, I beat you to it. 😛

Anyway, now for some pimping.

What: Singles Night Out
Where: KL Jam Asia, Desa Sri Hartamas
When: 7:30pm registration, Thursday 15th February 2007
How Much: Free entry!
Who: Hot chicks who probably have a thing for rocker-looking guys. And of course, rocker-looking guys, because that’s where they hang out – KL Jamasia.

More details here.

What: Project Bazooka (also a Single’s Traffic Light party)
Where: The Curve, Laundry Bar
When: 10pm, Thursday 15th February 2007
How Much: Free entry!
Who: Bittersweet, Lightcraft, Kluk Kluk Adventure

Oh, and I gotta quote this from their site:

Heard of a TRAFFIC LIGHT PARTY?

DRESS IN GREEN = I’m available. It’s quite straightforward. Go for it.
DRESS IN ORANGE = Hurry up! Faster! Time is running out!
DRESS IN RED = Break the rules… wink
DRESS IN PURPLE = I’m “Grimace”, from McDonald’s, not Barney, or Brinjaw.


How many Pinkpaus does it take to change a lightbulb?


Boys and girls, not knowing where to celebrate commercialism? Take your loved one out to one of Pimppau’s Pinkpau’s V-day recommendations.

Fireworks, And Then Fireworks

What did I do on December 31st, 2006?

I went to two parties.


One had a view which spanned three fireworks launches, like this one in front of the National Museum.


(Okay, so the same spot was the best; KLCC was too smoky and the other one was quite beyond and not as frequent.)


Tilted sideways. Nothing fancy here because I only brought my little Canon Powershot A520, and it’s not as steady as shooting fireworks with the camera pointed upwards. 🙁

At the second party, already January 1st, 2007, the party had died down, and I sat down on a couch. This chick next to me asked me to sign the guestbook.


She didn’t quite recognize it. “Is it a robot?

I don’t have to be cool (or uncool) to know it’s definitely not organic.

This Iranian dude came up to her, sat next to her, and continued a previous conversation.

So you’re a lawyer? I saw you and thought you were a writer! Somebody in the creative line. You know, you have really nice hands. Hands of a writer.

He then examines her hands gently.

You know, creative people have longer, slender fingers.

I looked over, and her fingers were much shorter than her palm! Not only that, she was sitting somewhat rigidly, fitting her lawyer occupation. Pickup line fail brader.

He left to get a drink, and she turned to me and asked if I was alright. “You were so still, I thought your friend was drawing your sketch!” (My friend was facing me, scribbling in the guestbook.)

No, I was just staring into space.

…okay, actually, I was eavesdropping. Heh. It’s always amusing to hear a guy pick up a girl. Did it work?

No… but he was interesting.

He returned with more lines. “You know, I like that look of yours. It’s like slightly annoyed. I think you’d look very sexy when you’re angry. If I saw you in a bar, you know, I’d just go up to you, kiss you, and then talk.

They then talked about politics, and travelling in the Middle East. I dozed off.

I’m not sure if he leaned over to kiss her, as turning would blow my cover.

She then left, as her transport was leaving.

Chapter Two

The Iranian dude then chats up my friend. At this point I wasn’t in earshot and didn’t bother, but the friend I came with and I gossipped about it. I quickly gave her the 411 on his attempt on the lawyer, to see if he’d repeat the same things.

Soon, his hand reached over her back.

We went across the hall to sit elsewhere, out of earshot but still able to see them.

Are they kissing, Albert?
No, you can see his head is at that angle… and she’s nodding.
Are they kissing now, Albert?
No, not yet… I can still hear him talking somewhat.

OOO! Now they’re kissing! See her head’s like tilted. Oh now they’re talking. Okay now they’re kissing.

He then examined her hands. Aha! He did use that trick after all.

We then left the hall to leave them to have fun.


I found this rather disturbing view from a room window.

Morning came, and they were cuddled up on the couch, all lovey-dovey and holding hands. “Let’s go for breakfast!

As we sat in a mamak in daylight, it was then that we saw the Iranian dude in his full uh… glory. Unibrow, bushy chest, big nose, and ugly, cavity-full yellowed teeth! He looked alright in the dark, cool and suave even, but in daylight we got quite a shock.

Me and my two female friends all looked at each other, sharing the same expression. This was something we could make fun of her for years!

I never quite believed in beer goggles until this experience.

She was, however, still putting her hand on his lap.

In the middle of a conversation, he pulled out a green wine bottle from under the table and drank it. That was a most comical moment indeed.

So I’ll send you back to your apartment?” my friend asked.

Nah it’s cool, I’ll take a cab back.” he said.

We got in the car.

AIYEE! OH MY GOD! I can’t believe I made out with that guy!
Yeah, but you were all so lovey-dovey right?
Yeah, he so thinks I’m gonna call. He gave me his number but I didn’t give him mine.
Wow, that’s smart.
Yeah, lucky I did that. You know, in the morning lying beside him, I realized that hey, I didn’t even know his name!

I’m glad for her and that little plot twist. 😀


As I walked home after it all, my road was sprinkled beautifully. Welcome 2007! (I’m not that lagged; I bumped into a lot of people at Laundry Bar on the 11th of January but everybody wished me Happy New Year anyway.)

Are you a musician?

In 13 days, October 11th 2006 to be exact, I would have not cut my hair for 2 years. (Minus the 500th-day sideburn trim.)

I think I’ll keep it for a while, still, for I have found more reasons to treasure my hair lately. For one, it’s never the same; meet me 3 months later and you’d think I had a different hairstyle. What cheaper way to have different styles of hair than to leave it to grow through phases? (short, slight thickness, poking your eyes, poking your nose, poking your mouth, so heavy your hair doesn’t puff, shoulder-length, long-enough-to-tuck-under-armpits-length, covering-your-bosom-length, covering-your-navel-length, replacing-your-… er, nevermind.)

My plan, after growing it till it makes no difference, would be to make dreadlocks, and then go bald, and then look like a boy again. But then I’d miss headbanging like so.


(Credits to smashpOp for taking these pictures.)

Anyway.

I was at my distraught-friend‘s birthday party, sitting at this rather quiet sober table with this guy and two hot chicks. Let’s label them hot chicks as Lisa and Shel.

The guy was telling stories about how he was hopelessly gentlemanly with girls, and how his friends tell him off for being a nice guy.

He once bought a girl a Hush Puppy, stuffed a RM1

We, Ass Men

In a cab ride to an LRT station: (Cab driver’s speech in italics and language was made more grammatically correct)

So where are you going?
I’m going to meet a friend at Kelana Jaya, and then we’ll take a cab to a friend’s birthday party.
Oooh. Guy’s birthday party or girl’s birthday party?
A girl’s birthday party.
OOOH, good. Don’t waste your time going for a guy’s birthday party. At least you go to a girl’s birthday party, maybe you get a chance to sleep with her. Guy? Guy, what for?
Er, maybe he invited girls?
Yeah, but it’s still better to be friends with girls. When you have no money, you can borrow money from them. Girls can pity you. Girls will lend you money!

As much as you may disagree, I know damn well that some girls prove his last statement right.

Wow, your pocket so big. What is that?
It’s a digital camera.
Oooh. If I had one, I tell you, I will take pictures of pretty girls. Especially those with big boobs. I tell you, driving around all day, I see many girls with big boobs! It’s quite fun to talk to them also.
Ooo.
But I tell you… boobs are nice to take pictures of, but if you wanna grab, better to grab the butt. More satisfying.
Eh? Why is that?
I tell you ah, sometimes they look big only. Pushup, dressing, all bluff you wan. When I touch ah, I disappointed lah. It only looks big, but not… fulfilling.
Maybe that’s because we guys have a butt, and so we know what a butt feels like, and so we won’t be disappointed?
Hmmm, yes, definitely.
Yeah, there was this Italian-Malay chick whose butt I grabbed, and it was much more satisfying than I thought for its size. So fulfilling. So full. (I don’t know why I blurted that bit… and to this day, I refer to her as the “chick-whose-butt-I-grabbed”. And no, I never blogged about her.)
Wah. Good for you young man!
Maybe because we don’t have boobs, we see boobs, we don’t know what to expect. We stare at them all day, then we end up expecting more? But if a girl likes girls, she surely won’t be disappointed.
Yeah. Boobs are nice to look at. Butt is for grabbing.

There is some truth to his boobs-are-to-look-at, butt-to-grab observation – I just realized that I rarely take spy pictures of butts. A butt is easier to grab in public (I’m referring to consenting people, of course.)

No wonder some girls wish for a bigger ass.

P.S. Dide the (then) juvenile ass-grabber can attest to my butt being montel. Refer to my Friendster testimonials wayyy back. Yes, despite me looking like I have no ass I assure you she enjoyed grabbing it.

Mark Chicks

Over the past few days, I have been asked this question many times again:

How come you’re always surrounded by hot chicks?

It’s not just guys who ask. Girls who set up PLU blogs do, too. Straight girls too… I think.

So what is it about Albert, who is not as tall as a basketball player, does not have a car, does not have any publicly-visible tattoos, does not smoke, does not have a credit card, has long unruly hair, that lets Albert know these hot chicks?

I don’t know, I could be good-looking or something.

But I’ll tell you what I think works.

A guy should have technical understanding over something that is otherwise magic to young impressionable girls, namely fashion, gossip, rollies (for girls who smoke), contacts to free flow of alcohol, magic tricks with a deck of cards, lomography cameras, a camera with a swivel screen (to ease camwhoring) and maybe even a do-it-yourself infrared camera, like this:


An infrared camera picks up infrared light as well as normal light, so it works better in the dark. Grace has conspired to steal my camera.


I don’t know why she calls herself thiathia, when her real name is Cindy. Nama glamour lari nak mampus. (Kel Li pronounces thiathia so obscenely!)

It would be good, too, to be metrosexual in knowledge. Identify mascara, eyelashes, eyebrows, etc. Don’t just say that she has nice eyes. My long hair has helped me relate somewhat to the struggles of keeping long hair (as opposed to keeping in touch with my feminine side.) I can geek out about why Loreal smells better.

Who cares if you can solve the Rubik’s Cube in under one minute? Who cares if you can play Yngwie Malmsteen stuff on guitar? It’s all about the visceral effect. You gotta learn your pop songs so she can sing along.

…and yes, I’m reminding all of you here yet again, yes I do play guitar and I look sexy doing it.

I also take pictures, and that looks sexy to some people too.

Who cares if you’re into philosophy? Don’t try to impress her with intelligence, because she wouldn’t be able to relate to the topics you talk about. 😛 (Whether that means pretty girls think of less complicated things, or that you think of more complicated things, is up to your own interpretation.)

Learn a skill that girls usually try to pick up, and then drop out of, e.g. how to tune a guitar and change its strings. You could also learn how to set up MMS/Bluetooth on any fashionista’s phone (familiarize yourself with obscure phone brands for this!)

Even girls, girls like pretty girls. Girls don’t go out alone. Girls don’t go to the toilet alone. They gotta have friends to go shopping, and they gotta have hot friends. They want to feel happening too. They stalk hot blogs. So associate yourself with famous people, and lure them with the idea that they might get to meet them. Sorry Joyce, I abuse our acquaintance-ship. 😛 Here’s your infrared picture from ages ago:


What, you’ve been going around telling girls that you know me and thus they get to say hi to me and think you’re such a happening guy and therefore want to get in your pants?

If you see a hot chick, she is more often than not with a bunch of hot chicks.

When was the last time you saw a bunch of hot guys? In a gay bar?

Guys generally do not hang out with hot guys. They’re competition. Girls hang out with hot girls. They fail to see the logic, but who’s to complain?

So, associate with one, and the rest will come rolling. Easier said than done, but once started, you’d wonder how it all began.


Oh and a final random piece of advice: When buying a drink for a lady sitting over there, make sure the waitress gives your message written on a tissue and identifies you. The waitress passed the drink and message, but didn’t identify the guy! This infrared picture shows that infrared photography makes written ink invisible. :O For the benefit of those unable to read embossed letters, it said, “CANT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU“.

Gay? Bah

Out of the blue, a friend asked on MSN:

albert are you gay?
hahahahaha why
tell me honestly, are you?
why do you think so ah
hmmm
you think i like rainbows? you wanna introduce me to a guy?
do you have frens who are gay?
yes, i have friends who are gay
ok..do you know how diff gay?
how different?
how to differentiate lar
well, gays usually like Mariah Carey
really?
yeah
why arr?
why la you asking
cuz arr…hmmmm im kinda fall for someone lor… frens all suspect he is a gay
then he probably is. 😛
arr?
introduce to me la, then i find out for you 😉
u know why..cuz that’s usually a guy in and out with him, wearing the same design pendant, same hair style
means matching?
hmm… what do u think?
how about his shoes? are they very clean?
yeah. very
OOOOOOOOOO
he’s my instructor lar
instructor for? gym?
yeah
is his hand soft? i mean, like when he talks, does he flop his hand
hmm i didnt notice
means don’t have la? wait wait, why you suspect me aaa?
maybe yes but i didnt notice
how would you know if i am gay?
i dont know… heard from ed long time ago, i couldnt remember
so why did he say that?
hahaha
i mean, he got reasons ah? i mean, i thought i look pretty straight
you heard from Ed… or Shaz?
yo you there?
wait arr on the phone
ok

If I told her I wasn’t, I would not be able to find out why she thought I was gay.

The next day, I watched Actorlympics, where the flamboyant gay guys were the funniest, as always.

The day after that, I was kissed by a guy. Two girls made a deal; “you guys kiss for two seconds, and we’ll make out for 30 seconds.

It didn’t matter to me whether they did it or not, I’ve been there, seen that. And I didn’t mind a meaningless kiss from between straight guys, because really, in the end, we did it not because we wanted to see them make out, but because they so obviously wanted to make out so badly, and needed some excuse.

But hey, guys kissing are a lot more precious than a mere 30 seconds. And if I wanted to see girls making out in real life without having to kiss a guy, I could hop over to Frangipani when it is their ladies night.

I went to dance, and when I came back, apparently all the guys had kissed each other.

Or maybe they were just getting back at us, as the girls wanted to drop by Frangipani before Zouk.

Finally, I made up for all the gay debauchery on Saturday. Bored of all the Klang Valley malls, I headed to Jusco Seremban 2 (there you have your answer for the sign) with LIMITED EDITION 01. The place smelled of food all over, and it reminded me of Ikano a lot; parallelogram-shaped wide shops and modern, brightly-lit design.

Unfortunately, I am not able to tell a story as imaginative as hers, so I’ll just say we went to watch Pink Panther. It was well-executed slapstick. However, watching Mr. Bean on TV, I still think the British are the best at slapstick and comic timing. In Mr. Bean, for example, the kid uses a remote control to control a toy boat. The remote seems to be spoiled, so Mr. Bean hacks the remote control, and unwittingly makes it take control of a electric wheelchair. He then drives the boat across the pond, with the poor man in wheelchair rolling in the background. He hands it to the kid, and the kid turns it, unaware that the wheelchair is about to crash into him.

With Pink Panther’s style, you’d see the wheelchair hit the boy into the pond, with a splash, and the man’s expression as he flies into the water. Funny.

With Mr. Bean, they cut to the next scene. Funnier.

Interestingly, Inspector Jacques Clouseau is seen in one scene downloading a ringtone for System Of A Down – B.Y.O.B.! Rock on, old incompetent Frenchman.

More interesting was the taxi ride to KL Sentral; the taxi driver asked, “You pergi mana? Seremban?” Caught by surprise, I mumbled, “Bukit Bintang“. Then he asked, “jumpa amoi?

On Sunday however, I found the love of my life! I never had the real thing in my hands until late last year; one was from London, the other, Australia. We could have a few quickies under one minute. People would look at us on the LRT.

ARGH! After I got Hannna to get me one from Selfridges London, and Ed got me one from Australia, I finally found this, at RM24.95 at Toys’R’Us Express, The Mall, near Putra World Trade Centre. Bloody hell that’s USD 6.56 (online, USD12)! Why was it cheaper? I found that they stuck a white label over the Milton Bradley and Hasbro Toys logos. No wonder it was cheaper!

It felt more consistent than the Australian cube, solid and did not lock. It didn’t seem like friction, but it felt slower, and slower it was; 74 seconds was twice my record.