I got to One Utama on a sunny Saturday. It was 8 am, and there was a car parked in the open car park, playing some techno music, and a guy and a girl were practicing some solo dance moves. Another car came along, and out hopped another couple. That was something I hadn’t seen before.

A free ride to Genting Highlands is why I would be at such a place. I can’t remember the last time I went there. The sharp turns reminded me of some Tibetian Need For Speed map, with roads curling like noodles. An interesting sight near the top was the Mushroom Farm. The connotation to drugs (namely magic mushrooms) was amusing.

Stepping out, I felt very much jakun-ish, as I walked through the misty air of the highland resort. The wind blew like a thousand Starbucks mist fans. Oh yeah.

My colleagues from Xfresh and I walked through the indoor area in circles, tunnel to tunnel, escalator up and down. We finally found the skydiving simulator where Xfresh TV was going to shoot. I eyed the pricey training and ride. Thank goodness for this company perk, then, as I donned the jumpsuit for free! 🙂

It looked just like a wind tunnel from your average first-person-shooter. However, this differed from the virtual factories I had visited. I looked at the grille below and saw no fan! It was then explained that the fan was on top. I wondered which was worse – falling into a fan or getting sucked up into one. 🙁

After the short but exhilirating ride, the instructors told us to throw away the foam earplugs. I kept them anyway. Some funky gadget it was – a peanut-shell-shaped foam earplug. I’d have to squeeze the pink end of it till it become sharp, then insert it into my ear, making a crackling sound as it slowly expanded. It wasn’t entirely noise-reducing though, as the fan could still be heard, though at dramatically lower levels.

We then headed over to Lake View Seafood Restaurant. The regular crew sat at one table, while the TV crew and the stars sat on the other. As the expensive-looking fish and crab came, we greedily gobbled. We were all hungry teens anyway, and there weren’t any prim and proper adults at our table, so sauce could freely drip, and we didn’t have to bother with fancy sitting or other niceties. Then again, it wasn’t exactly a top class setting – a red cloth covering the table was missing, the napkins were not folded into fancy 3D swans, and we didn’t get any sharksfin soup!

The crab was probably the messiest, but not to say that we didn’t grab the earlier servings in gluttony. I sat and stared, knowing how I would burst into red rashes upon eating the expensive shelled meat. No biggie, though I missed the distant relatives going “Wah so tall already! So handsome already your son! What form is he studying ah?” to my parents. Of course, I’m not tall, and they’re asking out of courtesy. I’m still in college. 🙁

We then headed over to the rock climbing area for another shoot. I wasn’t eager, having contents almost worth their weight in gold in my intestines. I wouldn’t have minded the fastest indoor rollercoaster though. It was too misty outside by then so nobody was allowed out for the real thing. However, the queues made me thankful I only wasted my money on a 4 Ringgit ticket instead of a 16 Ringgit unlimited all-access tag. Every ride had a long queue.

As the crew waited for some lost souls to come downstairs, I finally got a chance to start a flash mob. I was staring at this plaster monkey in the tree decor above, and told them about the plan. One would check if anybody was looking. People looked indeed! However, nobody stopped in their tracks. My plan may have failed because:

1) Although we were a huge crowd, we didn’t obstruct people.
2) They saw the monkey. If I stared at something less obvious, or stared at nothing, they might just slow down.

We went to a hillside Coffee Bean only to find it closed for stock clearance. Stock clearance? What, was this some shopping complex sale? Fine, so I got some chocolate buns from the nearby convenience store and munched them on their tables.

The immense fog showed no signs of vanishing, so we decided to get down (the hill) before it got worse. The jockey brought in the car drove by my boss. We got in. Fortunately, the jockey noticed a flat rear left tire. He had to drive down quite a bit before finding a flat surface to jack the car up. There was some sort of fridge or kitchen of some sort to the right, while a car park and a garbage dump was on the left. It was only when looking outwards that we saw a sign that said “helipad”, complete with helicopter illustration.

Of course, there was no big square, circle and cross in yellow, no blinking red lights, and it was covered. It looked more like a garage.

Upon jacking the car up, we found the nuts impossible to unscrew. Screwed nuts indeed. (In case you’re wondering, no, the tire wasn’t off the floor yet.)

So we plodded slowly and steadily down the foggy hill till we reached a petrol station, where we pumped air. Some confusion arose as to whether we should have higher or lower pressure in the tires, since we were however many kilometers above sea level. Heck, I didn’t bother thinking about it even though I got an A1 for SPM Physics by fluke. Anybody care to answer?

It was even scarier going down the bends in the fog. It was already past 8 pm then, and the boss, being the cautious driver he was, took it carefully. We hogged at least 8 cars in sight behind. Yeah, the fog was bad, but we could see them, heh. 🙂

Oh, and we saw a lady in white standing by the side of the road. :O A poor lady who lost all her money gambling and trying to hitch a ride, perhaps, or something else?

Another interesting sign caught my attention – “Engage Low Gear“. That just cracked me up.

We reached the Klang Valley safe and sound, albeit late, what with the flat tire and the sharp turns and the fog.

As I pondered what an accident-free day it was on the bus home, a silver Proton Wira clipped the right-side front part of the bus. It wasn’t a swerve; more like a drunken swagger. I didn’t feel the impact, but the clink was there. The car continued on its merry path on the road ahead, like it was Daytona or something.

That is what I am. I was eating near college when this lady from some shelter comes to sell these gifts, in the name of charity. They even produced a photocopy of the police document that lets them go around asking.

Of course, I had my earphones on. She was doing the introduction and I pretended to be unable to hear her. I took out one earphone and then after a while, the other. Yeah, you gotta love those conversation-stalling devices. (Uh, I use them at work too, hehe…)

Suddenly, the voice of my dead grandfather played back in my head.

“Don’t donate to these people. You should go to the place itself, because you can never tell who is real.”

So I told her that I had only 5 Ringgit and I had to pay for food, drinks and the bus fare home. Wrong timing, I said. I was broke.

Evil I was. I lied.

I went to college, and I had time to burn before heading to Midvalley, so I decided to get some Vitamin D. I headed over to the KLCC side of Ampang Park, and I met the WWF.

The lady sort of stood in my way. She was better looking than the earlier volunteer, so my conversation-stallers came off sooner.

She: Do you know about the WWF? Or you think it’s the wrestling one?
Me: Yeah I know… it’s the one with the pandas in shopping malls with holes in their heads.
She: *opens leaflet* Have you seen this man? (Some Indian dude who’s been some WWF superstar since 1974 or something.)
Me: Nope…
She: Anyway, the WWF needs RM2xx

Got on the bus home yesterday. A Chinese lady on my right was smiling, flipping through some photos of some rock concert. Being the Malaysian busybody, I looked towards my right, pretending not to stare too obviously. I could make out some guitars, but they looked blonde. I couldn’t figure out who they were, as rock groups don’t drop by Malaysia often (Linkin Park would be surprising.) I took out the ROTTW rock magazine I just bought at a newsstand, on purpose.

Lady: (In Chinese) Do you want to see it?
Me: Er, who is it?
Lady: Beyond. (Beyond is a Hong Kong rock band.)
Me: Er, no thanks. (I knew who they were but I’ve never heard their stuff.)

I continued reading my magazine. Then somebody just had to call, asking about a local underground band. (I didn’t intend to rub it in that much!) I didn’t even know she had my number.

To add to that, I just had to be in a advice-dispensing conversation with a concerned friend of a friend of a friend. Dangit, don’t worry about the exam next year during the school holidays. It’s just irritating. “But… but… Exams are in nine months!” Don’t gimme that line. To me, it brings the same urgency as “Exams are in one month.” Which is practically no urgency to me. So I’m a lazy slacker, but at least I don’t use that line to avoid going out, or at least, going online.

Oh yes, I went through my shirts today. I didn’t know I had so many free black T-shirts. Alas, the sun pours her love on me.

A refreshing break. Yay. After feeling the life of a scholarship student awaiting his next payment (well, this is true in a different context) I got lucky. I got my money back. Well, some of it. I am no longer running around town with less than 10 bucks, munching on 30 sen Mamee Monster packets and walking from station to station to save money.

So cursed it be that the company bus wasn’t here this morning. Thankfully, there was the PUTRA Line bus from the Bukit Jalil STAR LRT. Yes, PUTRA Line bus from the Bukit Jalil STAR LRT, not a PUTRA station! Odd odd, but I took it anyway, as it said it was going to ASTRO. Yay. 50 sen for that short ride.

If only it would be as easy to catch the same bus back (I’m writing this at the office.) Getting out of ASTRO has always been a pain when it’s one of those self-appointed public-holiday Saturdays. Rightfully, the first and third Saturdays should be holidays. This was a second Saturday! There should have been a company bus!

Not to mention that there are no cabs passing ASTRO. Well, at least people have credited my athletic looking legs. Perhaps if I am lucky, I shall catch the bus. If not, it shall be a 20 minute stroll past the Bukit Jalil school and stadium.

I am cursing the inability of the office burner to overburn CD-Rs. Dangit. I bought 10 800MB CDs to burn a few things, like:

– Counter-Strike 1.6 Steam full installer, 723MB
– Spinal Tap DVD rip, still far away from 701MB (I can only hope it can fit a 700MB one)

* Disclaimer for friends, family and like-minded people of the RIAA: I’d buy the Spinal Tap VCD if I could find it here.

It is hoped that the extremely detached style of writing this post will portray my gender correctly. Go paste some stuff in The Gender Genie! My earlier blog entries may be male or female, depending on the style. Creepy.